Sooyoung slowly opens her eyes. Her heads killing her. She really needs some painkillers. She lifts her hand to rub her temple. And she can feel her face getting hotter. But she feels someone hugs her, she bend a little only to find yoona there.

“if only you do this when we were still together.” She thought while staring at the sleeping girl.

“they’re right. Taeyeon, yuri, soojin.. they’re right. I should have stopped going after you that time. I should have listened to them. I shouldn’t have hurt myself this bad. I should have stop when I know I still can handle the pain. I should just listened to you to leave you”

“I never know that it wil hurt this bad. Now, I don’t have any idea about how to handle this or bear with this pain. This is too much.”

“it’s not worthy. I think my pain is not worthy anymore. If only you know, I even willing to wait forever. But now, I think it’s better like this. If being with you only killing me slowly, I will rather being alone. Maybe it just brings even more pain. But at least it won’t be you, the person I love the most who hurt me.” She is dying to touch the sleeping girl’s face. But she tried to hold herself. She doesn’t want her to wake up and just find out that she is still in love with her.

“yoona, isn’t this what you want? Why are you here? Is it not enough? Are you not done playing with me yet?”

“yoona, this is the best for us. This way, we won’t hurt each other. Just live your live on your own. Since you’ve never been mine, it wouldn’t be that hard living without me, right?” she sigh

“I don’t love you” she said slowly “just like how I convince myself that you can change, this time I will forget you. I will keep on telling myself that I don’t love you, until I really don’t. since there is nothing between us anymore. Let’s stop hurting each other.”

“If I want you to stop breaking my heart, I should stop giving it to you, right?”

Sooyoung then release yoona arm from her waist and trying to get out from her embrace slowly, without waking the sleeping girl up. She changed her clothes before going out from her room.

After she get out from her room, she is heading to the kitchen to find some painkillers. She open every cabinet and just take it when she find the painkillers.

“that’s not how you supposed to take it” soojin voice startled her “you should at least eat first, soo. You didn’t take your lunch, right?”

“I’m not hungry” she said while walking through soojin.

“where are you going?” soojin hold her wrist before she can go further.

“anyplace where I don’t have to see her” she said slowly

“you promise me that we will have a talk. Remember?” she said while making her sister to face her, which only made sooyoung sigh.

“what do you want to know? Since she is here, didn’t she already tell you?” sooyoung grab a chair, pulled it out slighty and sit there

“well, she just told me that you two break up and you’re the one who break it.” Soojin eyed her little sister. Pulled another chair in the other side of the table and sit there.

“I just realize it.” She is staring at the wall, before turning her head to her sister “It won’t work... Our relationship won’t work..” she said slowly.

“two year courting for her and a year in relationship, is that all what you get?”

“yeah” sooyoung nodded slowly “that’s what I get”

“what happened?”

“I should have listened to you, to yuri, and taeyeon. I should have stopped before I hurt my self this bad. I just realize it, that she is right, that we’re not meant for each other. That I’m not for her and she is not for me.” A tear escape her eyes

“what did she do? What did she do that make you broke your relationship?”

“she doesn’t love me, sis... And she never will.. She won’t change”

“what if you’re wrong? What if she can change? What if she do love you?”

“yeahh… and she show it by going out and sleep with her friend model” she laugh bitterly

“what?” soojin raise her brows

“oh, she didn’t tell you that?” sooyoung turn her head back, staring at the wall in front of her “she prefer having a night with her friend model than me” she said slowly

“are you regret being with her all this time?” soojin said carefully placing her hand on sooyoung's

Silence fill the room for a moment. Before sooyoung slowly turn her head to look at her sister with a sad smile on her face.

“no matter how much I am trying, I still can’t hate her. No matter how much I am thinking, I still know that it’s not her fault. All this time, she is the one who show me that she never love me. And it’s just me who keep going after her. I have the right to love anyone and do whatever I want. But she do have the right not to care about it. She just have the same right to love anyone she want, and I can’t hate her just because that person is not me.” She is crying, it feels like telling her sister about it just remind her about her pain more and more.

Soojin lift her hand and placed it on sooyoung cheek. She slowly caress her sister cheek with her thumb, wiping her tears. It hurt her too, to see her sister like this. She want to get angry, she is mad, but she know the other girl is hurting too. And getting mad will just hurt them both more.

“what are you planning to do now? Avoiding her?”

“I just don’t want to meet her.. This is better.. I just don’t want to see her..” she said slowly

“you’re going in the same school with her. You’re living in the same dorm as her. What make you think you can avoid her forever? Until when you’re going to avoid her, soo?”

“as long as I could” sooyoung said coldly “what make you think I can’t? I just don’t need to talk to her. And it musn’t be that hard.”

“this way, you’re only going to hurt you both. You’re only going to hurt her. And you’re just going to hurt you’re self even more, soo.. why don’t you trying to talk to her? trying to work things out” soojin said slowly

“so, are you taking her side now?” the coldness from her voice haven’t disappear yet

“no soo.. I just talk to her before. And she regret it. She said she want you to start over with her. She said she loves you”

“and you expect me to believe that?” she said sarcastically “what a lie? You don’t even can’t see that she is telling you a lie”

“what if she does? What if she really loves you? isn’t you think that is something that worth fighting for?”

“she doesn’t!! and she would never will!! Why can’t you see it that she just telling you a lie!!!” she slam the table and stand up from her chair

“calm down soo..” soojin stand up as well and trying to calm her sister, but it seems that it only make her even more mad

“why should I!!! when my sister is taking her side!?!” her voice getting higher and higher “first, you told me to break up!! And now you told me to come back to her!! Are you telling me that it’s okay for her to hurt me!!???” she screams, she can’t stop her tears. She can’t understand her sister words anymore.

“it’s not like that soo.. that is not what I mean..” soojin cupped sooyoung face and make her litter sister looking at her eyes “why it’s okay for me to let other people hurt my baby sister?” she said slowly which make her sister calm down a little.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore” sooyoung said, even she is already calming down a little bit, the coldness still there.

“okay.. I understand..” she hugs her sister and slowly rubbing her back.

"what should i do to make you feel better, soo?" she thought. she can feel her shirt on her shoulder getting wet from sooyoung's tears. it's hurt her to see her little sister this helpless "i just hope things getting better and you don't have to feel any pain anymore"