“Suho! My love!” Baekhyun yelled out, slamming open the door to the quiet hospital room. Slowly, I glanced up from the music I held in my hands and watched at five of my members filed inside, complete with flowers and gifts. “I miss you so much!” he whined and latched himself to me. After a few seconds passed, Chanyeol stepped up with a smile and warm greeting before he pulled his friend off of me.

                “What brings you here?” I blurted. However, my question was ignored save for a slight shrug from D.O who quietly prepared the flowers for Hae Eun.

                “Can’t we see her? She’s our friend too,” Sehun commented, not even taking a chance to glance her way. If someone were to peer closely at him, they would probably see the signs of him biting back the tears. He was always one to cry first in our group. “It must be hard to stare at her sleeping face every day. She was always prettier when she smiled. She had a beautiful eye smile.”

                “What’s the point of sitting here day in and day out staring at a sleeping face anyways? Why not spend time with her when she’s awake? Sure, it hurts her head, but she could get past that,” Kai finally grunted, his face dark with annoyance. Whenever he had the chance, he would voice his inability to understand why I constantly put myself through so much pain each day. And to tell the truth, I couldn’t find it within myself to disagree with him. What was the point? Her state when she was awake tortured my heart and staring at her sleeping face day in and day out carried the same feeling. It was useless. The girl I loved was completely gone and I was only waiting for the day when her body was too.

                “Hyung,” Sehun cautiously hissed Kai’s way.

                “Well? The way he sits here, staring at her in her sleep is ridiculous!”

                “It’s because he still loves her…” Chanyeol chirped.

                “But will his love save her? Will sitting here, doing nothing but remembering her save her from this state? She’s empty, and Hyung has yet to get that through his thick skull. She’s not going to come back.”

                “Enough,” I insisted when I caught sight of Sehun’s tears. “Memory or not, Hae Eun is still here, and I will stay with her until the end. It’s obvious that I won’t leave her be, so let’s stop,” I insisted, picking myself up off of my chair. With that, I crossed the room to hug my crying dongsaeng. No matter how many times I was accused for being stupid when it came to this matter, Kai knew better than anyone else that I wouldn’t budge in my beliefs, and I knew quite well that he was merely acting on worry. Worry for what will happen to me when she leaves me alone in the large, cold world.

                It wasn’t as if his actions were new either. In fact, it seemed like it was just yesterday when he had reacted the same way when I was drowning myself inside a pool of pain. At that time, I had barely come back from the trip we were forced to take to promote somewhere else. During the trip, I had been so scared that Hae Eun would already be gone, but Chanyeol assured me that nothing would happen and that she was merely playing with me to make sure I still loved her. But once I saw how bad her state truly was upon my return, my heart was torn to pieces and I couldn’t handle the pain of it all. And because of that, I distanced myself and put myself through even more pain than I was experiencing beforehand. That was when Kai first pounced on me with accusations based off of his worried heart.

                “Alright, let’s think of something else. Something fun!” Chanyeol suggested, breaking through the silence we were falling into.

                “Like what?” D.O. softly inquired, looking quite lost as if he, too, would begin to cry. If that actually happened, then it would be a matter of seconds before we all started to cry some way or another.

                “Like treating Hyung to food this time!” Baekhyun chirped, doing his best to also keep his tears away.

                “I forgot my wallet, though,” Sehun sniffed through my embrace.

                “Same here,” Chanyeol sullenly muttered.

                “I get it, come on,” I insisted with a smile before ushering the group out of the room. Sending one last glance Hae Eun’s way, I caught sight of a small tear rolling down her cheek. Was she feeling everyone else’s pain? Heaving a sigh, I pulled the door shut and reluctantly followed after my group.

~~~<3~~~

                The stark cold sensation that pricked at the nerves in my cheeks as tears forced their way down startled me so much that I pried my eyes opened and waited until they grew accustomed to the blurred vision. Taking note of the fact that I was curled up in the living room of my apartment, I allowed the tears to fall in confusion. Why was I feeling such a deep sadness? Was there something that caused me to feel this way?

                I racked my brains to come up with an answer, but there wasn’t one. All I could conjure up was a black space inside my head. I could remember aspects of my childhood and my friendship with Soo Jin, but that was it. If I tried to remember the past few years, I couldn’t. There wasn’t a single thing. Maybe that was the cause of my sadness…maybe. Being incapable of remembering invokes a sad feeling…a very sad feeling indeed. Pressing my lips together, I let the sadness roll over me until the blackness crawled back over me like a dark veil.