Yonghwa stare at the raining sky through the window in his room on the 15th floor. He held his guitar in his arms, but he didn’t have a mood to play it. The dorm is empty right now. All of CNBLUE member were left to complete their individual activities.

Everyone but me, thought Yonghwa. Well, I asked for this, so there's nothing I should be complaining about, except this stupid feeling when I felt like being left alone and it start crawling in the corner of my stupid mind. I supposed to drown in furnishing our new album instead feeling like a crap.

When the loneliness becomes a winner just like this time, he will give up himself and do something else or better do nothing at all, because it won’t give him any good when his heart and his mind not into it. 

The raining is still pouring and it seems it won’t stop anytime soon, just like his loneliness. How he wish Jungshin still stay in the dorm, jobless, make a joke or just being a clown like he always do, or even terrorize him with his wittiness, which he willing to accept in this situation, or he strangely misses the sound of Jonghyun’s guitar while he's practicing a random notes from across his room, he even misses Minhyukkie nagging which he sometimes does. Yonghwa smile as he remembers that Minhyukkie is some much alike with his twin sister, but with different parents, Seohyun.

And the most troublesome is, thought Yonghwa while he can’t help sighing desperately while remember his ex-on screen wife. When I still can feel her presence all over this place, while she is a thousand miles away from me.

 It’s true! It was created as a reality show with intended to satisfy the viewer and nonetheless for the sake of rating, but he can’t help not to drag his own feeling, it would be a lie if it no feeling involve, while his own were displayed for the world to watch every weekend.

He found her charm every second he is with her and every time he found himself bewitched by her. Like a teenager, he can’t wait until the time he can meet her again, to see her smile, her voice, her face, her infamous nagging, even her attempt aegyo which he found amazing. Who not fall for her, they must be blind. If someone told him 6 years ago, he will fall deeply with the nerdy girl with red glass who he saw in the library accidentally, when on his way to the FNC studio, he will say, Michyeos-seo? Wae nae-ga? (Are you crazy? Why should I?)

Now? How he willing to give anything just to see her glimpse in front of his eyes, staring at her face, eases his yearning for her, hug her until his heart's content. He had enough watching her from a box called television nor small picture in the corner of a news about her or her group which become his breakfast every morning, until it become a habit. She’s everywhere, alright, she is everywhere, but in the end, she's still no where to him. The more he watch her in television, search her in every possible news, the more longing he felt. 

Hyun~, are we gonna separate like nothing is happening between us? Asked Yonghwa while he stares outside his window, as if the rain and the sky have an answer for his question. What should I do, when you said I should concentrate to my job and our own activities while all I want is thinking about you? What you want me to do, Seo Joo Hyun?

It's been one year, thought Yonghwa as he browses his black hair, wishing that his thought about her will swept along with his hand. One long year, I thought if I stop giving her a hint that I still love her, I will eventually stop myself in the end, but I was wrong.

Seo Joo Hyun... Seo Joo Hyun...Seo Joo Hyun..., shout Yonghwa in his mind, calling her name like a spell. He's closing his eyes while he tries to bring out the last glimpse of her at one day in March last year, which he can still remember up to