I was bored and it’s passed 12 midnight. I hear the midnight silence, the sound of the spinning Elesy of the electric fan, the ticking of my wall clock while I’m seating on my bed fa​cing my laptop. The sudden thought of recognizing myself alone in my secluded room, I feel so alone and lonely. A lot of random questions are passing through my head, while I’m trying myself to get busy surfing the net. I typed the name of my bias in the Google and take a look on his random photos. As I got bored, I go to the YouTube and typed his name to watch some of his videos that I frequently watched. Then I go to his twitter account just wondering, if he posted a new selca photo of him or saying what he done this pass few days or what his interest for the mean time or just post what he wanted to post. But unfortunately, i didn’t see any post of him. So I got bored and go again in YouTube or the sites that I might read interesting news about him. Time passed, the hands of the clock is slowly moving to the next minute, and I get so damn bored facing my laptop and staring on some photos of my bias. This bias of mine I really loved him, I really adored him, his really a total package. Pretty sure a lot likes him. So I turn on my music to listen some of his songs.  Then a lot of random questions passed through my head about my bias, like I wonder how far he is (my bias), from where I sat. Or what is he doing right now? While here, I’m still wide awake. Or I wonder did he still working on something or just slept because his so tired in his shows or did my bias do very well this day. Then my song changed to love song. So, I get curious again. Did my bias dated any girls lately since the valentine’s day is anticipating or did he already had a girlfriend secretly or how does he look like when he got a date or did any mysterious happened already or how does it feels when my bias love a girl, did he fell in love so deep or he don’t have time because of his busy schedule. A lot of questions in my mind just pop up and I get sadder coz I realized his to far from me. Even I want to get closer to him, I know that was impossible to happened. I’m a fan with a hope to see him in person and sometimes dreaming to see him closely and had chance to talk to him. But I guess let’s just put it in a simple way, just to see him in person, even a far from him is enough. I guess that will satisfy me. In a second thought being a fan girl was hard. We get easily broke when we supported their albums or kpop merchandise etc. then sometimes we get emotional for some stupid reasons like you get jealous when you saw him with a girl or some bad issues with him, that his going through. Or just staring at his picture and talking to yourself and sometimes the hardest part is when you started to listen a song of him. Then you found yourself amazed from his angelic voice and start to fall in love. Its kind a funny but it satisfied us. Did it make sense? But we love being a fan.

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