"I miss you so much, Ma!"

Luhan let out a deep sigh when he heard that familiar voice booming through the hall. He lazily got into his room, pulled off the shirt that was damped with sweats from the previous rehearsal, and just threw himself to his bed. Luhan didn't usually sleep half- but today, he's very tired.

The voice was coming from the room next to his. He didn't mean to eavesdrop the whole conversation, but Tao's bed was technically right next to his, separated only by the thin wall that obviously wouldn't be able to block the sound coming from the next door.

Luhan tried his best to sleep. He didn't even bother to take a shower or to put on a clean shirt or to do whatever he usually did before he went to bed. He just wanted to sleep and swept away everything that was currently running in his mind.

But the fact that Tao put the phone call in loudspeaker mode didn't give any help.

"Ma, I'm sorry. I can't go home this year."

"It's okay, son. I know your comeback is coming and you need to practice, don't you?"

"Yeah, you're right, Ma."

"Just don't push yourself, okay? Take care of your health, Zitao."

"Tch, what a noise." Luhan mumbled. He reached for the iPod inside the bag he threw earlier on the floor. Playing the music in maximum volume, Luhan turned his body around and buried his face on the pillow.

Around five minutes later, Yixing came to the room with a towel on his head, eyes glued to some kind of beauty mask he held on his right hand. Just now, he was in the room Yifan shared with Tao, half-listening to whatever lecture Yifan gave about skin care and beauty products, while Tao was happily conversing with his mom on the other line.

"Hey, Xiao Lu. Do you know how to put on this– Xiao Lu?"

Luhan still had his face buried on the pillow. Yixing could hear the music banging loudly from his headphone. Yixing stared at Luhan's beautiful for some good minutes before he snapped back to reality and stepped closer to Luhan's bed, crouching down beside it.

Having been Luhan's roommate for almost two years, he knew Luhan very well, including all his habits, all the things he liked and disliked –which was why he crouched down beside Luhan's bed instead of sitting on it.

Yixing knew something was wrong with him.

"Xiao Lu?" He shook Luhan's shoulder, very gently. He knew Luhan hate it when someone woke him up when he's sleeping –and he learnt it the hard way, but Yixing still had to do it because something was surely off.

Yixing noticed the wet stain on Luhan's pillow. It wasn't sweat, he knew. The cool temperature inside the room had dried Luhan's body completely from his sweats. Plus, there's no way eyes could sweat.

"Xiao Lu?"

"Shut the up!" Luhan rose his face up from his oxygen-lacking position all of a sudden, left Yixing in surprise. But Yixing was more surprised to see the tears falling, glistening on Luhan's cheeks. His eyes were red and his nose was runny.

Yixing was right.

Luhan threw his iPod and curled himself up in fetal position with his back facing his roommate. His body was slightly trembling, both because of crying and the cold that hit his bare upper body. Yixing just wanted to pull him into a big fat hug right away because he knew that it was exactly what Luhan needed. But no, he wouldn't do it because he knew Luhan very well.

"Xiao Lu, can I sit here?" Yixing pointed at his roommate's bed covered in Manchester United sheet. As expected, Luhan shook his head.

"Alright then, I'll sit down here, but could you tell me what's going on?" Luhan shook his head one more time.

"Fine. I understand." Yixing backed off and went to sit on his bed, eyes glued back to the pack of beauty mask he was still holding. He knew very well that whatever the thing Luhan was keeping on his mind, whatever the thing Luhan was trying to hide, he would spoil it himself soon, as long as you didn't push him.

"No, you don't." Luhan's voice was heard after a long pause. Yixing looked up and saw Luhan who was now hugging his knees and staring emptily ahead. He thought the conversation was over, but of course he was glad when Luhan started to speak in his own will.

"Yeah, I don't." Yixing replied shortly as he stared at his friend accross the bed who looked so fragile at the moment with concern. Once again, the room fell into the silence.

"New year's coming, right Yixing?" Luhan tilted his head to take a look at his roommate, breaking the somehow-comfortable silence that filled the atmosphere.

"It is." Yixing smiled lightly. So that's why Luhan was crying earlier, he thought.

Having been Luhan's roommate for almost two years, he knew Luhan very well, including all his habits, all the things he liked and disliked –which was why he wouldn't asked him anything further.

Yixing knew how painful it was to see everyone around you gather with their family, especially on a big day like Lunar New Year, while you were being miles away from the warmth of your home and everyone you loved. That was the pain that all the four Chinese member had to face almost every year since their trainee day.

But no, Yixing knew that he didn't fully understand what Luhan felt, because he had a place to go home to while Luhan didn't.

"Yixing," Luhan's voice was still a bit shaky, but it's way better than the previous one, "Isn't that Yifan's?"

"What– Oh, yes." Yixing took a glance at the beauty mask Luhan was pointing at. "Duizhang forced me to put this on."

"And why haven't you?" Luhan moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You know I can't." Luhan chuckled before he stormed into Yixing's bed and grabbed the pack from his hand.

Yixing smiled to himself. He would try his best to make Luhan forget about the problem, at least for tonight.

The next several days passed by, fully packed with hours and hours of rehearsal. Even though their long-awaited comeback was pushed back to God knew when, there was no time to play around and they had to keep practicing. Every movement, every song, everyone had to be perfect, to meet the fans and media's already high expectation.

It was the day before Lunar New Year, and Yixing felt really exhausted today. His waist felt really sore and he was trying his best to be careful, not to injure himself knowing that their comeback was waiting. But every pain simply vanished when he heard his phone ringing and saw the caller ID.

Home's calling.

"Hello?" Grinning as wide as Chanyeol always did, Yixing picked up the phone.

"Ah, it's our Yixing."  Yixing's eyes teared up as soon as he heard his grandmother's voice. He missed her a lot.

"Mama, let me speak too." Yixing chuckled as he heard his mother nagging. A bead of tear rolled down his cheek without him realizing.

They spoke for almost an hour, not even bothering that it would cost really high to make such a long international call. Yixing missed his family and so did they. If only they could do this more often.

But Yixing hurriedly hung up the phone when he saw Luhan entering the room.

"Who was that?" Luhan just got out from the shower and was now standing in front of his bed. He raised an eyebrow seeing his roommate's clumsy and suspicious action.

"It was my–"

"Are you cheating on me?" Luhan put on his favorite T-shirt and jumped into Yixing's bed, pinning Yixing under him.

"W-what?" Yixing's face started to heat up and he was sure his blush was obvious enough for Luhan to see. Breathe Yixing, breathe.

Luhan laughed out loudly above him while Yixing was trying to compose himself. Great Yixing, great. You're so damn embarrassing, he thought.

The laughter died down and replaced by a relaxing silence between them. It was so quiet that they could even hear Tao singing to G-Dragon's Crayon in the shower.

Luhan lay down beside Yixing, on Yixing's bed. Yixing turned off the lamp above them. He the lamp on his bedside table instead, leaving the room in an extremely cozy atmosphere under the dim light.

The ceiling somehow became so interesting that they couldn't tear their gaze from it. Well, no. They weren't really staring at the ceiling. They were actually just staring at nothing.

"It was your family, wasn't it?" Luhan broke the silence with a question, or a statement to be exact, that Yixing wished he wouldn't say. How he wished Luhan didn't bring up about his previous phone call, about his family. It's because he didn't want Luhan to be hurt.

"No, it's my girlfriend." Yixing just blatantly answered in a joking manner.

"I'm serious, baobei." Luhan smiled. The emphasis Luhan put at the very last word made Yixing's stomach churn. Yixing hated the feeling, but loved it at the same time.

"Yeah." That was the only word he managed to say, because Yixing felt the atmosphere slowly turn somehow cold and tense.

Luhan got up and sat on the edge of Yixing's bad all of a sudden.

"You don't have to hide it. I never asked you to act all considerate in front of me." Surprised, Yixing got up as well and sat beside his roommate.

"But I just–" Yixing's words got cut off when Luhan grabbed his shirt harshly.

"Stop pitying me, Zhang Yixing!"

Luhan shoved Yixing back to the bed and ran out from their room. Yixing swore he saw tears running down Luhan's face.

How Yixing wished he could grab that tiny wrist and pulled him to his embrace.

But he was too late and too shocked to do so.

That night, Luhan didn't come back to their room. Yixing knew because he was wide awake all night long.

That night, Luhan didn't come back to their room. As soon as he got out from the warm small bedroom he shared with Yixing, he grabbed his coat and ran wherever his feet took him to.

His vision was blurred with those salty tears he hated. If he stayed in that room, Yixing would've wiped them away for sure, and that's exactly why he ran off. He didn't want anyone to pity him, especially not Yixing.

Luhan kept running until he reached the market without him even realizing.

Bad choice, feet, Luhan mentally scolded himself.

Apparently, that wasn't the best place to go at the moment –not when the market was merrily decorated in red and gold, hundreds or maybe even thousands of lanterns hung accross the street.

It wasn't as lively as what he usually found back in Beijing, but still, it was ironically beautiful. The pain he already felt even way before he reached this place, the pain he had tried to fight especially these days, tightened in his chest, getting worse than ever.

Luhan was suffocating. 

He finally took a deep breath before he slowly walked into the market, not bothering whether fans would notice or the sasaengs might follow him.

恭喜發財! Happy Lunar New Year! Gōng xǐ fā cái!

Those words neatly printed on the huge red banner above his head was like mocking him.

Happy, you said? Happy, my .

Come to think of it, it had been his fifth new year in Korea, meaning that he hadn't gone home for five years already.

Home? Like I had one.

Luhan stopped in front of one of the stall that specially prepared the new year dishes like spring rolls, rice cake and jiaozi –Chinese dumplings that was usually served during new year celebrations.

"Welcome, young man. Aigoo, look how handsome you are." Luhan just smiled to the middle aged woman who greeted him warmly even though both her hands were busy cooking.

"Ahjumma, one jiaozi, please?" He sat on one of the stool.

"One jiaozi's coming." She smiled, and in less than five minutes, a bowl of jiaozi was served in front of his eyes.

Luhan hesitantly took a spoonful of it and closed his eyes as he tasted the dumpling inside his mouth. It tasted really good, but Luhan felt something was missing. He opened his eyes and took another spoonful into his mouth and closed his eyes.

It tasted as good as the first one, but still something was missing. Instead, there's a longing feeling emerging inside him, added to the previous pain he was trying to get rid of.

The jiaozi tasted similar to the one his mom always made every year. When was the last time he eat it anyway? He couldn't recall.

Perhaps, it was the missing thing.

"Aigoo, why are you crying, dear?" The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a worried face of the ahjumma. She handed him a brown handkerchief to wipe his tears with. His eyes were glistening with tears. He was unconsciously sniffling and sobbing.

Why was he crying again? He didn't know as well.

"Ah, I'm okay, ahjumma. It's just... I think I miss home." Luhan forced himself to smile, but he ended up bawling in front of the ahjumma, in front of the other customers that night, leaving the rest of his jiaozi uneaten.

The next morning, the members found Luhan sleeping on the couch with his coat still on. He had a slight cold.

It was Lunar New Year today. All the Korean members were going home to visit their parents today, and they planned to have a night out together later, together with the Chinese members, all the twelve of them.

"Luhan-ge," Tao shook Luhan's shoulders trying to wake him up from what seemed to be a really deep slumber. "Luhan-ge, wake up."

But Luhan didn't budge and just continued sleeping. Feeling desperate, Tao asked Yifan as the leader to wake him up.

"Luhan, wake up." Yifan gently tapped his hand on Luhan's slightly cold cheek. "Come on, you're going to have a really bad cold this way. Go rest in your room, Xiao Lu."

"Get lost."

Both Tao and Yifan were surprised with Luhan's response. They knew that Luhan could be scary as in the morning, when someone forced him to wake up or invaded his precious bed. He would kick or yell at them.

But it was never like this. It was never a short, cold reply that was somehow scarier than his kick or yelling.

"Luhan-ge?"

"I said get lost!" Luhan jolted awake from the couch and shoved both Yifan and Tao to the floor.

"What's going on, ge? Are you okay?" Tao innocently asked, not knowing that it was the worst option of questions he chose to ask to an angry Luhan.

"Do I even look okay to you?" Luhan grabbed Tao's collar. Tao, despite his cool and strong image, was still a child at heart and started to sob.

"Enough, Luhan!" Yifan pulled Tao away from Luhan and told him to stay on their room. Tao ran as fast as he could, escaping the unexpectedly nerve-wrecking situation.

"What the is wrong with you, Lu?" It was Yifan's turn to grab Luhan on his shirt.

"What the is wrong with me? Everything, Yifan! ing everything!" Luhan pushed Yifan away, but Yifan being way taller and bigger than Luhan was easily captured both his hands.

"Let me go!" Luhan yelled at the top of his lungs.

"And where do you think you're going?" Luhan suddenly stopped struggling on Yifan's arms. His meaningless struggles were replaced with a drop of tear falling down his face.

He freed himself from Yifan's rip and ran to his room, the one he shared with Yixing.

Reality hit him hard. Yifan was right, where did he think he's going? He had no place to go at the first place. He had no home.

The bitterness of life he had to face at such young age in the past. The broken family that totally lost its bond like it never existed. The reason why he left Beijing all the way to Seoul.

Everything had ruined his home. It's gone.

The first thing greeted Luhan 's vision when he entered the room was Yixing sitting on his bed. No, there's no way anyone could freaking sit down on his precious germ-free bed that comfortably.

But Yixing just sat there, as if he was oblivious of what might happen if he did so.

"Why are you in my bed?" Luhan yelled as if he was in the middle of the ocean where no one couldn't hear him if he didn't.

"Why are you crying?" Yixing calmly.

"Get the off!" Luhan grabbed Yixing's shoulder but Yixing just shrugged it off.

"Calm down, you're scaring Zitao on the next room."

That's it.

Luhan had reached the peak of his temper. He grabbed Yixing's collar and shoved him to the floor. Luhan got on top of him and started throwing a series of punch to Yixing's precious face.

One punch. Two punch. Three punch, and he stopped.

Luhan buried his face on the crook of Yixing's unbelieavably warm neck in contrast to the cold weather. He cried his heart out.

Yixing could just smile, despite the pain he felt near his lips, on his jaw and under his left eye he got from Luhan's furious punches. He wrapped his arms on Luhan's waist and held him tight like he could fall off if he didn't.

"Let it out, Xiao Lu."

Fifteen minutes later, Yifan and Tao who were curious of the situation found Luhan was still bawling on Yixing's chest, on top of him. They chose to let them be, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Finally, Luhan got up and helped Yixing up. Luhan laid him down on his still Manchester United sheeted bed and got out to pick the first-aid kit on the kitchen.

"I thought your bed was yours and yours only." Yixing winced a bit as he spoke. Luhan was applying some antiseptic on his now bruising wound.

"It was." Luhan answered, still focused on the 'piece of art' he made on his roommate's beautiful face. The comfortable silence filled the air, again –it was the same comfortable atmosphere from the night before– as Luhan carefully treated Yixing's wound.

"I'm sorry." Both of them were lying side by side on the bed. Luhan snuggled himself on Yixing's toned chest.

"Nah, keep it for Yifan and Tao. They didn't know what's happening." Yixing smiled but when his dimple –which Luhan really loved– was about to show, he winced and moaned. The wound near his lips was indeed still painful.

Yixing let Luhan rest on his arm, so he could pet his head and that fluffy hair of his roommate.

"Yixing, can I have a home, too?" He could feel Luhan's shoulders start shaking on his arm.

"Ssssh, don't cry, Xiao Lu. Of course, you can." Yixing planted a soft kiss on Luhan's hair.

"But my family–"

"Home is where the heart is, isn't it, Xiao Lu?" Luhan looked up when Yixing said so.

"Sort of," he replied after they exchanged glances for a moment.

"Then, as long as you love something, or even someone, you're home." There was a pause between his words since Yixing was just too nervous to blurt it all out.

"I wanna be the place you can go home to, Xiao Lu."

Luhan's eyes started to be teary for the nth time in the last 24 hours. Yixing knew very well that the tears weren't the same as he saw yesterday or the day before. There was a hint of relief and pure happiness on Luhan's eyes.

"Stop crying or I'll kiss you."

"Then I won't."

Finally.

Yixing smiled contently before he devoured those pretty lips he honestly had been craving for since the first day they became roommates.

Luhan apologized to the two dongsaengs he vented his anger on. Later at night, the twelve boys hung out together as planned.

"Hyung, what's up with your face?" Jongin asked when they met up.

"My girlfriend beat me –ouch!" Luhan elbowed him silently. "I mean, boyfriend. You know, PMS."

Author's Note:

This is unedited (will edit later PERHAPS), but I wish there wouldn't be much mistakes. Hopefully.

And about Luhan's past, feel free to use your imagination.

Thank you everyone for reading <3

Feel free to subscribe, comment and vote.

Oh, and special thanks to ipanda_ramos who voted for this story even when it wasn't up yet. I really didn't expect it. Thank you very much <3

Lastly... 恭喜發財!