He took a good look around, wondering if there was anything else he left behind. Material things, of course. He already knew that once he stepped out, he'd be leaving all their memories behind. Memories from the days before that he sometimes thought were his wild imagination rather than the reality. He shook his head, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

Of course not.

After checking the different rooms a couple more times, Daehyun decided to take a seat at the polished dining table until Junhong came over to fetch him and drag him out of his memories. Patiently he waited, pondering in the deafening silence and isolation since that was all he could bring himself to do these past few days.

He truly hated it. The lingering smell of black coffee in the air. However, despite his hatred for the bitter drink, he smiled. Daehyun knew he couldn't really bring himself to stop drinking the beverage. Blueberry-flavored, caffeinated, with three teaspoons of brown sugar. It was too familiar for him to let go.

Letting his right hand drift towards the small video camera at the nearest table corner, Daehyun pressed the play button once again, for probably the hundredth time that day and the millionth time that week. However, he couldn't grow sick of the recording. Even though he himself had probably played it so many times that even the wall would remember the exact words, he was still trying to figure out the details.

"You know, it's really unfair, Jae. I thought you said we'd die together?"

"I'm sorry, Daehyun. I know I promised, but I couldn't live with it anymore."

"What exactly was so bad that you had to leave me?"

"I think it's because we grew up. Reality hurts too much. Selfish, I know, but I..."

"You?"

"I'm going back to the Land of Make Believe. The one we created as kids since we got jealous of  the people who created Neverland, Narnia and Terabithia. I'm putting on my rose-colored glasses, Dae. So please just...Let me go. Just don't come after me yet. Don't take my hand."

"But what if..."

"Let me go."

"Youngjae."

"I love you."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and ignored the way his breathing hitched every now and then, pursing his lips instead to stop the sobs threatening to escape. Daehyun stared at the empty wooden seat from across the glass table, eyes watering slightly from the memory of a blonde who was trapped in a painful reality he knowingly caused. And he hated himself for it. For knowing. Being late. Growing up.

Everything.

Where was he when Youngjae needed him most? Right. He was out partying, drinking, wasting away his life with people he didn't care about.

One 'experiment' with heroin after school, two bottles of bitter beer at a party his parents never knew about, and three different types of done with four other males or females he would never remember the names of. One false move and everything came crashing down on him before he could even begin to process the consequences of his actions. He didn't know he was hurting the person he cared for the most at the same time. He didn't know that he was pushing Youngjae out of his life. Well, he knew. But Daehyun was too drunk and too much of a coward at the time to accept what he did to his best friend.

Because apparently, back then, he thought those things were the only solutions to his 'grown up' problems. Whether or not these supposed 'solutions' harmed him didn't really matter all that much because it helped him forget, even for a little while, the pains of living reality. And while he was busy forgetting, he unknowingly dragged Youngjae into the inescapable darkness with him. Onyx lungs, amber veins, and a sapphire heart. Everyone was dying starry-eyed. Feelings of insecurity, disappointment, depression, and despair dissipated as the liquid traveled through their bodies and lulled them both to a painless sleep only Daehyun woke up from.

And he wondered why he did. Why couldn't he have died instead? Why did Youngjae have to pay for his mistakes?

Daehyun now knew, that growing up wasn't as great as it seemed. He was still too childish, too immature, and too selfish for the real world. He grew up too quickly, learning at a young age to believe the empty gestures of those who accepted the contradictions of reality. However, he knew that it was a little too late for him to take things back.
 
A light knock on the door is what brought him back to the reality of reality. Slowly he stood up, taking the camera into his calloused hand and walking to the door with large strides. With his slightly shaking hands, he managed to unlock the various door chains and make way for the blonde hair he recognized immediately was Junhong's.

"You okay?"

"I miss him."

Carefully Junhong held his hyung at arms length, nodding his head as if to signal that everything would be okay. Eventually. Once time passed and they weren't afraid to let him go. And once they stopped wishing that things were like the days before, when Youngjae was still here with them.

"Are you ready?"

"No."

"I doubt any of us will ever be."

They both stepped out of the house, side by side as if they were stuck together. Daehyun turned around with Junhong following in suit, allowing his right hand to rest on the doorknob And just like that, he locked it. Sealing away all the memories of the past he wished he could relive, Daehyun stepped back and let his tears fall to the dull pavement beneath the soles of his feet.

Junhong offered a sad smile, wrapping his long arms around Daehyun, attempting to comfort him. He remembered it to be like the time he came crying to Youngjae too about some nonsense he now laughed about.

He missed Youngjae. His words. Voice. Warmth. Smile. Little did he know that they both were standing in the same memory.

"I'm sorry."

And for that moment, Daehyun was an innocent little kid again, going back to the childhood he originally wanted to escape from.

Yep. Just a small one-shot since I was feeling a bit....IDK. Nell's song just kept playing in my head over and over and THEN THIS HAPPENED. Plus, I can't eat anything since my orthodontist did something to my teeth...LOL anyway. Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed it! Grammar/Spelling mistakes? Go right ahead and point them out if you want. LET ME LUVS U ALL. ^-^

Word Count: 1042
Date: Feb. 9
 

Me Outtie~