Title: Finding You

Author: thursday

For: Anonymous

Prompt:"Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less." - Rabbi Julius Gordon   ----------"In the end, you'll know which people really love you. They're the ones who see you for who you are and, no matter what, always find a way to be at your side." - Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive

A/N: This story took on a life of its own, so I hope I stayed close enough to the prompts. Thanks for letting me jon in the fun! I really enjoyed writing Kyusung again.

♥규 성♥

Kyuhyun was a simple man. He lived quietly in a third floor apartment that his mother had decorated straight out of the Ikea catalogue. She had not been to visit since and he had slowly stamped the spare bedroom with his own personality. It seemed a luxury to have a two bedroom apartment to himself, but he could afford it and he liked to keep his work space separate from his sleeping and living spaces.

Had he ever invited anyone over, this room would have been left out on the obligatory house tour. Kyuhyun was a simple man, not from any innate sense of frugality or taste, but because there was only one thing in his life that interested him. His job was mundane but paid well, his clothes were either black or white, but always a perfect fit(and had there been anyone to check they would have seen that they were all designer labels), he friends were nonexistent. There were only two places in his life that showed the depth of his passion--the cabinet under his bathroom sink and his office. The cabinet was full of health and skin care products, his office covered in pictures, all showcasing the same flawless face.

He was now, at the age of twenty-six, trying to decide if he was ready to reveal himself.

He was eleven the first time he saw him-the child singing prodigy who debuted at the tender age of fifteen, his voice already changed into a low and husky growl. He can't remember anymore what so captivated him, if it was the voice or the face, both were worth his devotion. He was not so far gone to not realize that his devotion was a bit on the obsessive side, so he tried to channel it into useful activities, such as helping run several fansites. The girls who ran them were more interested in the pictures they posted than in maintaining their websites, so he put his genius to work and the sites he maintained were easily considered the best by fans far and wide.

He was everyone's favourite fanboy despite the fact he had never revealed who he was. He had made friends all across the world using the English he never thought he'd need to converse and translate for the international fans. But no amount of begging would get him to attend fan events. In fact, despite living in the centre of Seoul and having enough money to buy whatever he wanted, he had only attended one concert, posing as a chaperone for his young cousin. It had been the defining moment of his life for several years. Their tickets were front row and Yesung had looked him straight in the eyes twice. Twice! And the second time was accompanied by a smirk. It was more than his then seventeen year old heart could handle. It was a memory he held close to his heart.

It was because he had always held himself back, being a silent but strong supporter, that he did the most reckless thing of his life. He was twenty years old and in his second year of university, he had graduated from high school two years early and was on the fast track through college, when the company that handled Yesung landed itself in a massive scandal. While Yesung was not implicated in any way, in fact the investigators praised him for having such clean hands, it was his honesty and purity that led him to leave the spotlight to atone for his management's sin by joining the military. Kyuhyun joined the same day leaving his family completely mystified. He knew it was a reckless decision, but the thought of two years without daily updates of his favourite celebrity was too depressing. He thought at least he'd be busy enough to distract himself by being in the army.

Fate has a funny sense of humour. He had always expected to fail his physical due to a childhood car accident, but what no one had expected was for Yesung to also fail his physical. Then what happened next had Kyuhyun in a tailspin. He was assigned to the same public service unit as Yesung. His intelligence and background in computers and media landed him in a radio station. Yesung's celebrity status landed him the role of DJ at the same radio station.

He's not exactly sure how he survived the first day. Aside from the tedium of the meetings he was forced to sit it on while they planned the format of Yesung's news and music show, there was the fact that Yesung (YESUNG!) was sitting directly across from him. Except he now goes by his real name.

Years of being quiet and alone served Kyuhyun well. Terrified that he would start fanboying if he opened his mouth, he opted for silence unless directly asked a question, to which he replied in as few words as possible. He earned a reputation for being aloof, but no one minded because he worked so hard and excelled at everything he put his hands to. This is why just a week after Yesung's show aired, he found himself put in place as the producer. The original producer had finished his term of service and had specifically requested that Kyuhyun take his place.

Yesung was just as kind and nice as he had always been portrayed. He asked Kyuhyun to call him hyung almost immediately after introducing himself. Kyuhyun had been speechless and just nodded his head. Whenever he heard that low voice say Kyuhyun-ah, goose bumps erupted up and down his arms. Thankfully his uniform covered them.

There is something about being close to your idol, Kyuhyun discovered. They become all too human. After nine years of holding someone in your mind as the embodiment of perfection it's a little awkward when they do something mundane, like pass gas. Which Yesung apparently did quite a bit. He also frequently forgot to wash his hands after using the restroom, used his finger to stir his coffee when it had been sitting for a while, and he tapped on things incessantly. These are only a few of the quirks he found Yesung to possess. The longer they worked together the more they annoyed him.

One day he had enough and exploded at Yesung for sitting next to him in the conference room and tapping Kyuhyun's thigh with a pencil. Yesung just pouted cutely at him and suggested some bonding time since Kyuhyun seemed so tense around him.

This is how he ended up in a night of drunken karaoke with his idol. He only got drunk enough to relax a little, Yesung just got drunk. Kyuhyun discovered another Yesung quirk, he was a talkative drunk. He talked about his company and how upset he had been with the scandal. He talked about how it was actually a relief to be in the army and have a simple schedule instead of spending most of his days in a van. And then he began to talk about his fans. He only had nice things to say until he began to talk about one fan in particular.

"Did you know I have a fanboy, Kyu-ah?" Yesung had collapsed against Kyuhyun's shoulder at this point. "Actually, I have a lot of fanboys, but this one, he has been there since day one. But he won't come to any of my events and I haven't heard anything from him since I joined the army. Nothing. He used to tweet me every day. They were stupid tweets, but it was sweet. I am annoyed and concerned." 

This is where Kyuhyun realized that Yesung was talking about him. All he could think was "senpai noticed me." 

Not only had Yesung noticed him, he noticed that he had disappeared.

"I miss him Kyu-ah. He's been the only consistent thing in my life since I debuted. Fansites have come and gone, but he always remains, just moving on to the next one. Once I even created a fake identity to try to convince him to come to a fan signing, but he wouldn't."

Kyuhyun remembered when that happened. A new user had suddenly and forcefully tried to get him to attend a big event. He had assumed it was one of his own fangirls(he had quite a few, much to his surprise and chagrin). The user had disappeared after failing to convince him.

"Maybe he just wants to respect the fact that you are doing your service. Or maybe he decided to serve, too, and he is in active service so he can't tweet. Or maybe something happened in his personal life and he will be back as soon as he can," said Kyuhyun.

Yesung let out a big sigh.

"I hope he gets in touch soon. I am having trouble sleeping at night I am so worried." And apparently he wasn't kidding as he suddenly passed out against Kyuhyun's shoulder.

They still had some time left on their karaoke room, so Kyuhyun sat still thinking about all that Yesung had revealed. It really warmed his heart to know that Yesung knew who he was and that he was concerned. He was happy being on the sidelines of the fandom, contributing what he could either monetarily or skill wise, and to be acknowledged was so much more than a dream come true. He found that all the annoyance he had been feeling towards Yesung was slowly dissipating. He had always known how lucky he was to be able to get to know his idol on a personal level, but now he felt accepted as a friend.

The next day he tweeted a good morning message to Yesung and an apology for missing so many days, that he had changed jobs and had only recently finished training and been able to catch up with the fandom. He also arranged for a delivery of Yesung's favourite foods for later that week. When the food arrived on time and still warm, Yesung's eyes lit up with joy.

 "Look Kyu-ah! He's back!"

 Kyuhyun just smiled and took the food he was offered. "Do you feel better now?"

"I do," said Yesung. "I know it's strange to be so attached to someone I've never spoken to or even seen, but he has just always been there."

"Maybe you should talk to him."

"I don't know. Just from the fact that he doesn't attend any of my concerts I get the feeling he is content with watching from afar. Some fans don't want to know the real me, they are happy to just believe what they see on screen."

"Then make up an identity and approach him that way," Kyuhyun suggested. you've done that before, right?"

"Ah! That's brilliant! Thank you!"

When Kyuhyun got home that night he had several new messages from "themockturtle." He laughed at the ridiculous name and answered all the questions Yesung had sent him.

The shift in their real relationship after their karaoke night was subtle, but was definitely not a figment of Kyuhyun's imagination. He was still uncovering Yesung's quirks and now that there was some sort of relationship established between them, he didn't hesitate to tease his hyung about them. However, Yesung had apparently also noticed some of Kyuhyun's strange habits and had no problem using them to tease and torment.

About one year into their service Kyuhyun realized he no longer saw Yesung as an idol, but as a man. At work he spoke and played and worked with Kim Jong Woon and respected him and admired him for his strong work ethic and beautiful personality. When he got home at night and logged onto his computer he got to meet the real Yesung, the one who was silly and fun and desperately in need of a real friend. There were times it was confusing, where he wanted to joke around with Yesung, but realized the behaviour was more like that of his cloudgamer persona than his work self. He did pause to wonder sometimes if Yesung would be hurt if he knew the truth. He never let slip the details of Yesung's life that so many fangirls would love to know. He tried to keep his online activity to simply keeping websites running and commenting on the pictures posted.

When at last their time in the service drew near to the end, he realized how much he was going to miss Kim Jong Woon. They went for one last night of karoake.

Yesung was still a talkative drunk.

"Kyu-ah. I will miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

"I wish I could promise you that we could still hang out and have nights like these, but my managers have already filled my schedule for the next year. You'll watch me on t.v., right?"

 "Of course, hyung. Maybe I will even join your official fanclub. I'll be your number one fanboy."

Yesung laughed. "No, you'll be my number two fanboy."

"Ah, yes. I forgot about your favorite. You stopped talking about him a long time ago."

Kyuhyun was pleased to see Yesung flush several shades of red.

"Whatever happened to him?"

"I took your advice. We talk all the time, but he doesn't know it's me. I like to think we are friends now."

"Do you think you'll ever get to meet him?"

"I don't know, but I hope so."

Yesung's prediction was right. They did not get to see one another often after their duty was fulfilled, but they emailed and texted and when Jong Woon sent Kyuhyun tickets to his first post-army concert he was more than happy to go. He could come as Kyuhyun and not as cloudgamer. Yesung gave him a giant hug afterwards when he went backstage.

"Kyu-ah, I've missed you so much."

Kyuhyun hugged him back, relishing the feel of his hyung in his arms. It was the first time they had hugged.

"I've missed you, too."

When Yesung looked him in the eye, he could not decipher exactly what the man was thinking.

"Guess who else came tonight!"

"Who?"

"My number one fanboy! He said he'd be here, but that he had bad tickets way in the back."

"You still talk to him?"

"Yes, we are closer than ever! Next to you, he's the best friend I have."

*

Life went on, as it is wont to do, and Kyuhyun found himself at the age of twenty-six a successful man with a strange hobby. It had been four years since he left the army and he and Yesung still talked and were able to meet once or twice a year. Cloudgamer and themockturtle still talked every night.

Then themockturtle had finally asked if he could meet his cloudgamer. Kyuhyun wasn't sure. He was comfortable with the way things were, but the memory of the way his hyung had felt in his arms had never left him. The desire to feel that once again finally overcame any of his objections and he agreed to meet.

He laughed when themockturtle suggested that they meet at Mouse Rabbit, Yesung's family coffee shop. They devised a code--cloudgamer would go in and order a peppermint-mocha-decaf-no whip hot latte, and whoever replied "that sounds good, I think I'll have one, too," would be themockturtle.

Kyuhyun dressed slowly on the appointed day, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest in nervousness. He hoped that his deception would not anger Jong Woon. He didn't think it would, but he wanted to be prepared just in case.

Mouse Rabbit was packed when he got there. Yesung was manning the counter and had drawn in numerous fans. Kyuhyun waited patiently in line, recognizing some of the girls from the internet. Yesung spotted him as he drew near and gave him a big smile and waved. Kyuhyun just smiled and waved back and continued to wait.

When he finally reached the counter he was a nervous wreck and hoped he could remember the complicated order.

"Kyu-ah! I'm so glad to see you! What can I get you!" Kyuhyun couldn't help but laugh at how cute his hyung was acting.

It was now or never.

"I'd like a peppermint-mocha-decaf-no whip hot latte."

He watched the smile slide from Yesung's lips.

"C..could you say that again?" He wasn't sure what the look in Yesung's eyes meant, but it didn't look like rejection, so he answered again.

"I'd like a peppermint-mocha-decaf-no whip hot latte."

A bright and beautiful smile slowly dawned on Yesung's face.

"That sounds good, I think I'll have one, too."

*

Later after all the shop's patrons were gone, they sat together at a small table, smiling stupidly at one another.

"Yah! Hyung! Keep your fingers out of your coffee. That's disgusting."

"Get used to it. You'll be seeing it a lot from here on out."

Kyusungcentral: This was wonderful, a sweet cute progression of love :)