“Forget about him. For the little time you have remaining in this world, you are mine.”

I watch as he kisses her, unable to tear my eyes away. I always knew there was someone else but I never really acknowledged it. I hate to think that I don’t satisfy her. For 5 years now I’ve been labelled as her ‘boyfriend’ but to her, that never meant anything did it? Even from the moment the doctors told her that she has Cardiomyopathy I never once considered leaving her side. I stood by her through it all. I’ve sat by her side all these months, waiting for a heart donor. I never once did anything to upset or anger her, I gave her everything I could and this is how I am repaid.

I continue to watch as he lifts her off her feet and walk towards the door. I quickly sprint away before they can spot me. I hide stealthily in the shadows as he carries her down the halls and follow them slowly from a distance.

Why am I following them? What do I expect to see?

I hail a taxi and order the driver to follow them. He gives me a quizzical look but obeys nonetheless. After a short drive they pull up at a small park, the very same park that I had taken Mi Sun so many times before she fell ill. As I get out of the taxi, after paying the driver generously, I glance over at the set of swings, I think back to that cold winter night when we shared our first kiss. Little did I know that when she told me that she loved me, she never truly meant it.

I continue to follow them as they make their way up the stone path. With one hand he holds onto hers and slips the other one around her waist. I can only make out a few words of their conversation so I step closer, keeping myself hidden under a large oak tree.

“Even when I had him by my side I still felt so lonely. I know he loves me, unconditionally but I…I love him too, but not in that way.”

I should have known. How could I be so ignorant? All those times that she said she loved me have all come to this. I could almost hear my heart breaking but, surprisingly, I didn’t cry, I didn’t scream or yell. Somehow, to me, this was all somewhat amusing. After spending all my time caring for her, protecting her, loving her, I got completely screwed over. I was used, that is the only possible conclusion.

I look up just in time to see them both leap of the edge of the cliff together, hand in hand. I approach the cliff and peer over the edge. I immediately lock eyes with Mi Sun as she struggles to keep herself above the waterline. I flash her a soft smile and give her a small wave as I carefully take a seat on the cliff ledge. I can see shock consume her facial features before she gets dragged down underwater by the current, eventually drowning. I look over to where his body was now floating, lifelessly. I can’t help but feel somewhat disappointed. If only he had suffered just a little more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way a malicious person. At least I wasn’t, up until now. After giving her everything I had, I simply got pushed aside for another. Some may think that suicide is a viable option for me but I can’t help but feel that it wouldn’t be right for me to, I’d feel almost as if I didn’t belong in the afterlife with them. She left me here on my own. This is where I must stay. What did he have that I didn’t? What did her give her that I didn’t? Not that it matters anymore, both of them are dead now anyway. I continue to watch the waters below, they’re both long gone, already lost in the vast ocean.

I patiently wait out the sermon, surrounded by people who claimed to love her. No one did, at least not anywhere near as much as I did. I stare blankly at a nearby flowers bed, only focusing on trying to block out the whispers around me.

‘I heard she left him for another man…’

‘He mustn’t have been treating her very well for her to commit suicide…’

‘She deserved much better than him, I’m glad she left him for that other boy…”

‘I don’t think he even cares about her, he’s at her funeral and he hasn’t shed a single tear…’

‘How heartless…’

Heartless…? Is that really how I’m depicted now? She leaves me for another man, killing herself with him and I don’t even get an apology or a farewell. Am I really the bad guy? Why am I the one to blame?

The priest’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, “Would Mi Sun’s partner Choi Jonghyun care to say a few words?” He motions for me to step forward.

Reluctantly I rise from my seat, I can feel the crowds eyes burn holes through the back of my head as I approach the spot where the priest once stood.

I take a moment to look around the crowd, taking in the various expressions of pity, anger, sorrow and most importantly disdain.

“I can assume you all heard of what happened correct? Don’t think I haven’t heard every word you’ve said, noticed every look you’ve given me. You have no right to look down upon me, I did nothing wrong. I did everything for her, she was my whole life. In the end she simply pushed me aside without a second thought. Do you have any idea how that felt?” I could feel the tears starting to fill my eyes as I spoke. I ran my fingers through my hair, biting back my tears and continued, “You could never even imagine the pain. It hurts, it hurts more than you could imagi-“

I look over to a teenage boy who had interrupted me with a snicker. I take a deep breath, struggling to restrain my burning fury. I slowly walk towards him, his eyes locked with mine. I grab a hold of his collar, pulling him closer, “Do you know what you are? Pathetic, just like she was.”

I shove him back and he falls to the ground, colliding with a few chairs. I leave them all there staring after me in shock as I walk away, without looking back.

Over the next three months my health declined dramatically. I no longer cared about myself or my appearance. What do I have to live for anyway? I won’t kill myself but if I happen to die, so be it. After so long I finally managed to build up the courage to go visit her. So now I stand before her grave, clutching a bouquet of lilies. I lightly brush the tip of my finger over the engraving on the marble surface.

Kim Mi Sun

1991-2013

A Beloved Daughter And Friend

You Will Be Sorely Missed

“It’s been a while hasn’t it? I should have come to see you earlier but I didn’t think I could face you again, even if all that’s here is simply a grave. I would have thought that after all this time I’d get over it, could I possibly be more wrong? What was stopping you from at least saying goodbye to me one last time, would that have been so hard? I thought that at least I’d do the honour. Goodbye Mi Sun, I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you. Thanks for everything,” I mutter as I carelessly toss the lilies onto her grave. A few of the petals had crumpled and lay scattered across the marble. I sighed sadly and turned my back to her grave, digging my hands into my pockets, lowering my head as I began to walk away. Those flowers had been tossed away, just like me. Just like me they’d soon wither and be forgotten.

Changjo died 2 years later of pneumonia, his organs were donated to people in dire need of them. He thought it was appropriate to give someone else the healthy life that Mi Sun never had the chance to experience. 

A/N: Done~ Also, Thankyou Nemurenai for helping me out with that part I was stuck on. Please leave comments below!