It was one of those rare days where the sun would cooperate with the warm summer breeze. I wore a simple floral summer dress in the shade of teal.
I embraced the warm sunlight that touched my skin as I smiled in delight. These kinds of days are my favourite time of the year. Although today, even if the weather is perfect, I knew there was an end to my happiness by the end of the day.

My phone vibrated in my bag and I pulled it out as I read the message from him.
“Where are you now? I’m getting worried …” It said.
I pursed my lips in contentment as I replied, “I’m on my way, nun-saram,” (which means snowman in Korean).
I quickened my pace and soon arrived at the door. I fixed the ends of my dress and rang the doorbell.
It wasn’t long until the door opened, only to be greeted by Myungsoo who had ‘worry’ etched on his face. His frown turned into a loving smile as he grabbed my bag without any warning.
“I should’ve picked you up instead..” He said, accompanying it with an adorable pout.
“My house is not that far from here,” I replied.
There was silence, but it was covered up with the sound of the summer breeze blowing. He just stared at me, with an unreadable expression on his face.
“So? Are we just going to stay like this or what?” I chuckled slightly and he laughed along, “Sorry. I just got caught in the moment,”
I followed him as he led me in the living room. His friends were in the middle of a video game. Chips scattered everywhere on the floor, candy wrappers and juice boxed all over the room.
“Jiyoung’s here,” Myungsoo announced as he placed my bag on the couch. He sat beside it leaning over a bit so he could catch a glimpse of the game.
“Hello Jiyoung, I’m Woohyun and this is Sungyeol, nice to finally meet you!” A very handsome boy smiled cheekily as he stuck a lollipop in his mouth.
“Nice to meet you guys too,” I replied with a small smile.
I sat beside Myungsoo, but my bag was like a barrier between us. Not that I mind though.

Myungsoo and I met online.
He lived in Daejeon and I was born in Seoul, but moved here to Toronto.
We would talk every day until suddenly, we just stopped.
I didn’t have any thoughts about him for months, until he messaged me out of the blue.
“I’m going to Toronto! We can finally meet face to face!”
I was utterly shocked. But there was a mixture of happiness and fear.
We conversed for a bit and I found out that his cousins lived just near my area and he’ll be taking a vacation just before he starts university.
He’s two years older than me too.

Time passed quickly. Faster than what I had imagined.
I picked him up in the airport and eventually got to know his family while waiting for him too.
The car ride was awkward at first, but then we grew accustomed to each other’s presence in less than an hour.
Now today, it was last day. It has been exactly 1 month since we met face to face, but it has also been exactly 1 year since we met online in a famous blogging website.

1 hour had passed and he hadn’t acknowledged me. He has been too immersed in the game that he forgot I was even there.
I stood up and roamed around the room. It’s probably the last time for me to ever be here in this place. I examined the decorations placed around the house, but one particular thing caught my eye. I took the small stuffed polar bear with a coke scarf around it. It looked awfully familiar but I don’t know where I had seen it before.
“Do you remember that?” He spoke as his head popped behind me.
I shook my head as I turned around and looked up into his deep brown eyes.
“There was a time when we got into polar bears. I remembered you told me how you wanted to hibernate like polar bears when you were finished exams..” He said as he took the bear and played around with it.
I suddenly remembered as I widened my eyes, “I remember! But why do you have this?” I questioned.
He smiled shyly, “I bought it in a store in Daejeon. I bought it because it reminded me of you,” He said as he put it back on the shelf.
We didn’t have any relationship. We were just good friends and I intended to remain that way since I know even if I did have feelings for him, it won’t be mutual. Not that I like him or anything.

Our conversation was cut off when my family entered the house.
I remembered that there was a goodbye party for their family here. Somehow, my family and his got a long very well.
“Myungsoo, can I speak to you for a moment?” My aunt asked as he pulled Myungsoo with him into the room.
I sat on the couch and leaned over as I unintentionally eavesdropped on their conversation.
“Do you know what Jiyoung would like on her birthday?” My aunt asked him.
There was silence until he suddenly spoke, “She likes those asian food stuffed toys, umm.. Oh, she also loves this k-pop group, Infinite. Man, she goes crazy over their visual guy,” He chuckled.
I giggled silently as I leaned back and quit on listening over their conversation when my aunt suddenly bursted into laughter.
“Auntie? What’s happening?” I asked in confusion.
My aunt and Myungsoo suddenly emerged from the room.
Myungsoo looked flustered. His ears were red and his cheeks were in a deep shade of red.
“I didn’t know Myungsoo was your boyfriend!” My aunt giggled.
My eyes widened and I raised my hands and shook them frantically, “W-What?! N-No! We’re n-not together!” I denied, which was true. We’re not.
I was surprised that Myungsoo didn’t say a word as he refused to look at me, just looking on the ground as if it was something interesting.

We gathered in the dining room.
He was on the other side of the room, while I was on the other corner.
I carefully looked up at him, just stealing a glance when he also looked up at me at the same time.
Our eyes met, and I felt my cheeks feeling warm. Before I looked down, I saw that he was red as a tomato. It was adorable actually.
My family was huge and I had plenty of cousins.
They forced Myungsoo out of his spot, resulting with him standing beside me, our arms touching.
I grew nervous. But the weight was lifted off my shoulders when my older sister and my cousin went up to him and started poking his arms.
“Wow you’re not gay at all..” they giggled as they poked his muscular arms.
“What?” He chuckled.
“Now that we look at you up close, you’re really manly,” They giggled as they left.
Myungsoo and I looked at each other, bursting into chuckles.
Just then, out of the blue, he took both my hands.
I was now standing in front of him, his eyes not leaving mine.
My heart raced as I couldn’t take my eyes of his.
He slowly took my hands and placed it on his cheeks. His hands were over top of mine, which was on his cheeks.
He took my hands and playfully patted his cheeks.
I looked at him and laughed. He could be such a kid sometimes.
He smiled gently at me as he continued playing around with my hands, which was still patting on his cheeks. Damn, his face is so smooth and- Wait. What?

Time passed again.
We finished eating and we now found ourselves alone in a room.
There was silence. Sadness filled the air.
“Jiyoung..” He spoke gently.
Without a word, I immediately hugged him as my hands clasped on the back of his shirt.
I felt tears suddenly stream down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop them from overflowing. Silent crying turned into loud sobs as I drenched his shirt with my tears.
His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him.
“We’ll see each other again,” He choked out the words, and I knew he found it hard to say those words. It was an empty promise. We both know we won’t see each other again.
He pulled away and smiled gently, “..So don’t cry..” He whispered gently.
He pulled me back into another hug, this time, his grip around my waist tightened, although not to strong that I would feel suffocated.
“I’ll miss you..” I whispered.
He pulled away and smiled one last time, “Goodbye, Jiyoung,”
I watched his figure disappear as he walked down the stairs, dragging his feet with him.
Although it was his cousin’s house, he’ll be the first to leave since he had already packed up and his flight was a few hours earlier than his parents. His parents and his came in different times, therefore their departures are also different.

I fell on the ground as I cried.
I didn’t know it would hurt this much.
We weren’t together. We were only friends.
But why does it hurt too much?

My cousin arrived and stood beside me as she leaned down and dropped something in front of me.
“The way he looks at you, it's..different,” She smiled gently and left the room, leaving me alone.
I didn't understand what she meant, being a dense person like me.

I took the Polaroid picture that she left in front of me as I examined the contents of it.
It was Myungsoo and I, just before dinner.
His hands were on mine, which was on his cheek.
I smiled up at him and he was smiling back down at me.
I looked at the way he looked at me in the picture. It looked warm and gentle but there was something else in his eyes too. I didn’t know what, but it made me feel happy.
I smiled as tears continued to flow.
There I was, crying silently in a room as Iheld the picture in my hand, not knowing what would happen to him or me after that.