To You It's Separation, For Me It's Waiting...

Kyuhyun couldn't believe what was happening. How did it come to this? How was it possible that this was even happening? He prayed this was a bad dream that he would soon wake up from. But it was unfortunate because...this was reality.

Kyuhyun's eyes threatened to let his tears fall as he stared at the shorter male in front of him. The love of his life was leaving him.

He attempted to swallow the lump in his throat but it didn't work. He felt like he was suffocating completely. Slowly and painfully his breath continued to get stifled. What hurt the most was the fact that the younger male didn't even know his feelings. He didn’t know Kyuhyun’s heart. Kyuhyun had been a coward from the very start. Convincing himself that these feeling he had for Henry were just a phase that he would move on from. But he never did...

“Why are you leaving?” Kyuhyun managed to choke out as the boy smiled as if it didn’t affect him at all.  “I’m leaving because I’m going to study for a while.  I want to better myself at music…plus I miss my parents.” Henry explained.  Henry had always been amazing at hiding his true feelings.  Because on the inside he was breaking down.  His heart wanted to cry out to the man in front of him, but he couldn’t.  These feelings…were wrong.

The male would never accept him if he ever told him how much he meant to him.  Which is why Henry made the decision to leave.  Just until he got his emotions back together.  Being around Kyuhyun just made him feel like…

It wasn’t something he could describe in words.  A new feeling would just wash over him whenever he was with Kyuhyun.  This feeling was starting to scare him.  These weren’t emotions you were supposed to have for a friend.  A friend who has been with you for years, who was like a brother to you.  These weren’t feelings that would just disappear in a day, a month or even a year. Like a cancerous cell, these feeling would multiply until they took control of his body and mind…before slowly and painfully die away taking fragments of him with them.

“When are you leaving?” Kyuhyun asked finally finding the strength to look at Henry without choking.  The lump in his throat just became more tightening and heavy but he focused on the male’s face.  “Tomorrow’s last flight.” Henry answered with a smile.

‘How can you be so happy…when I’m aching inside? I might never see you again yet you still continue to smile right in front of me…’ Kyuhyun wondered to himself staring down at his feet.  “Are you surprised by my sudden request to leave?” Henry asked.  “Of course I am! You didn’t tell anyone beforehand and a day before you leave you tell me! How could you- Did you not think about how I felt? How we would feel when you would leave? Do you not know how much I care-”

Kyuhyun had lost it.  His selfishness was getting the better of him.  He shouldn’t have shouted at Henry.  He shouldn’t have lost control like that.  He stormed away and headed straight for his shared room with Ryewook.  “I swear I didn’t do it-” Ryeowook said jumping up at the male’s appearance.  “Get out!” Kyuhyun shouted.  “I really didn’t do it! I didn’t know that shutting it down-“ Kyuhyun cut off Ryeowook again.  “Get out!” He shouted this time louder.  He proved his point and Ryeowook left pouting.

He sat down on his bed, his knees hugged to his chest.  His chin rested on his knee as he slowly let tears well up in his eyes from pain of his aching heart.  Salty tears trailed down his cheeks.  Why had he been such a coward from the start? If he had told Henry his feelings he wouldn’t be in such pain. 

But would that have changed anything? If Henry was truly leaving for the reason he told Kyuhyun, would his heart not leave if he knew how Kyuhyun felt about him? It wouldn’t have changed anything…he wouldn’t have cared.

Kyuhyun’s feelings might even have caused Henry to want to leave more.  His feelings might have been burdensome.  But regret was killing him as he thought about how strong his feelings really were.

The day seems to last forever
As if it read my heart
With passing time, will it fade?

Henry smiled at the members as they saw him off to the airport.  But he couldn’t see Kyuhyun in the mist of the crowd.  “He’s not here…” Ryeowook whispered in his ear.  Henry was a bit surprised that Ryeowook knew who he was looking for. Henry nodded looking at the time on his watch.  He had about 10 minutes.  “We’re going to leave first Henry. There is a schedule tomorrow early in the morning.” Leeteuk said giving the male a hug.

“We’ll miss you.  Take care of your health…” Leeteuk said and a group hug was in place.  Henry was suffocated but enjoyed it.  He waved at the others as they left.

Kyuhyun watched from a distance hiding his face behind a scarf.  The others were leaving.  No, he wasn’t as heartless as Ryeowook had told him he was.  He did see Henry off; it was Henry that didn’t see him.  

What was he doing? He was letting the man he loved slip away.  And for what reason? Because he was too much of a coward to let him know his feelings.  

He acted on impulse and walked forward towards Henry.  He pulled off the scarf and met Henry’s eyes.  The boy was clearly shocked to see him.  “Hyung!” He said a bit confused.  

Kyuhyun stood in front of him.  “You…listen carefully because I won’t be able to tell you this again for a long time.  I…like you.  I like you so much that I was a coward for years.  I couldn’t handle rejection and this is the result of it.  You’re leaving me and I am too much of a coward to even stop you.  So I want you to know my feelings before you go.  I…love you.”

Henry stared in shock.  His eyes felt hot tears welling up.  He smiled and wrapped his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist.  Kyuhyun was stunned but eventually wrapped his arms around Henry as well.  

“Idiot! Do you know how long I’ve been-” Henry was cut off.  “It’s time for those taking a flight to Canada to enter.” The woman said and Henry let go of Kyuhyun. “I have to go.” Henry said.  “Do you still have to leave? Can’t you stay?” Kyuhyun asked while Henry shook his head no.  “I already told my parents, they are waiting.  So is the college I decided to go back to.” Henry answered and grabbed his suitcase turning and heading out with the woman escorting him.

“Henry!” Kyuhyun shouted and Henry turned to look at him.  “You…I’ll wait for you.  I don’t care how long it takes.  I’ll wait until you come back…”

Except for your empty space
Everything is the same
My heart must be broken
Can't seem to accept that I sent you away
All my love is now in vain