[CHAPTER SIX]

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to blurt it out! I was just so mad a while ago that words just keep flowing out of my mouth. I don’t even know if I made right, coherent sentences. Forgive me!!”

What’s the use of having them all talking outside when I could clearly hear Bom from where I am? Seriously. I just simply hate being lied to. It just  makes me feel like I’m an untrustworthy person. I feel so out of place right now. It seems that all of them knew about it but they wouldn’t tell me. They’re keeping something from me and I don’t like it one bit. I heard the door open and they all came to sit around me. I looked at them waiting for someone to start speaking.

Even Ji Yong-ssi knows this amnesia thingy? How could they tell it to him first? He’s not even in our circle or perhaps he is but I’m just not aware of it. Bom even addressed him as an ‘important true friend’ earlier. Hmmm….Think Dara…Think!

We’re supposed to be group of friends but why is that I know nothing about Ji Yong-ssi? Are they having another group of friends behind my back? Ji Yong-ssi is their special close friend and I don’t even know? I just know he’s a friend and that’s it. But special? Close? I don’t even remember them  mentioning him before.

“Spit it out.” I said and I saw them jump in their seats. It seems that they weren’t expecting me to find out about their little secret anytime soon since they all looked like lost sheeps.

“Why is my name involved a while ago? And what’s with that amnesia thingy?”

“I’m sorry we weren’t able to tell it to you sooner.” CL mumbled.

“But we were really going to tell you, we’re just looking for the right time.” SeungHyun said.

“Dara, since you now know something, we might as well say it.”

“Good decision.” 

“Dara, you have selective amnesia.”

I already heard it a while ago. C’mon! I’m completely fine!

“Amnesia? Are you kidding me? I know my birthday. I know who my parents are. I remember you guys. You’re SeungHyun, CL, Bae, and Bom. And you Jiyong-sshi ―” She said turning to face him. “You’re a very special friend whom I know nothing about.”

He looked somewhat offended and I’m sorry for that. I’m just so shock at the moment.

“Dara, that’s why it’s called selective. You lost some of your memories.”

Okay, this is getting freaky. I know I remember everything important. I didn’t forget my friends, my family, my relatives, where I live… I remember it all. They all looked at me worriedly. They were surprised when I chuckled.

“I get it. You’re all expecting that I’ll take it too seriously. Come on guys. It’s just selective amnesia.”

“J-Just?” They all asked with disbelief in their eyes.

“I mean, at least I could still remember all of you guys. I even met a new friend, Ji Yong-ssi. I know that the memories I lost are not worth remembering at all. Perhaps I lost it for some reasons. You know, like somehow  those memories were really meant to be forgotten and be buried in the past.  It might noteven be that big of a loss.Plus, I still have you guys.” I smiled.

They were all-silent and were sharing painful expressions. Did I say something wrong?  Aren’t they happy that at least I’m still alive?

“Not… big of a loss?” Ji Yong-ssi echoed.

“Yeah.” I looked at him.

“I’m sorry. I just need to go outside.” We watched walk out of the room. SeungHyun and Bae followed him immediately.

“What’s wrong with him?” I mumbled when the boys were out.

“Dara, why did you say those words?” CL gave me a look like she’s making me take back what I said.

“What? At least I remember the things that should be remembered.”

“Not all Dara.”

I looked at them both. “Okay, since you’re giving me that horrified look, and it seems like you’re trying to tell me something, why don’t you just tell me the things, events, person or whatever I lost. Tell it to me now so we can all forget this stupid selective amnesia.”

“Dara, no matter what we tell you, do you think you’d still remember it? We can tell you but will that bring your memory back?”

“I don’t get it.”

“What if you forgot someone special? We can tell the name of that special someone but will your feelings for that someone return?”

“Oh okay. So…now what? Will you guys tell me about the things I’ve apparently forgotten?”

“No. We want you to remember it your own way.We want you to remember it by yourself.  But don’t force yourself to remember. The doctor said that it’ll make your head ache. And stressing yourself is the least thing we want to happen to you.”

Yeah right. Like I have plans to remember. I do believe that things happen for a reason.  There’s a reason that I had selective amnesia. What is meant to be forgotten should be forgotten. And I still feel much the same. I don’t even feel like I lost something.

Anyway, I want this day to be fun. All of my friends are here. I want to forget this selective whatever and the thing that happened earlier with Tiffany. I already asked them why they’re not in good terms with Tiffany since she seems pretty fine to me. They just said that looks can be deceiving and that they also warned me to stay away from her. No further explanations.

Well if that’s what they want I guess I’m okay with it. And so, we all went to the entertainment room to do fun stuff like watch movies, eat, goof around…you know, fun stuff.

However all throughout I can’t seem to take my eyes off of  Ji Yong-ssi. No matter where I look, my eyes always finds ways to look at him. He looks like he’s just forcing himself to be happy.It seems like he’s the most affected person with my selective thingy.  

It was already 8 PM when our friends left. Judging by the way how Ji Yong-ssi interacts with my friends it really seemed that they’ve known each other for a long time now.

~~~

“Uh, Ji Yong-ssi, sorry about a while ago.” She trailed behind him as they went up the stairs.

“For what?” He asked looking back at her.

“I think I offended you awhile ago. I just don’t know what part of what I said offended you. So…sorry.”

‘Should I tell her that everything she said earlier offended me? Should I tell her that what she said bore holes to my heart? I can’t. I have to take it in. Perhaps this is already the punishment for what happened. However when she said that she knows that the memories she lost are not really worth  remembering at all…it really hurt me. I wish she’s aware that there’s one person who prays every second for her to recover her memories. Dara, we’re worth remembering, HyeSun and I. We’re not supposed to be buried in the past.Please remember us! As much as I want to tell her this I can’t.  I don’t want to push myself if she can’t remember.  I’ll just have to make her remember.

“It’s okay. I just hope you consider remembering your past. Everything is worth remembering. Trust me. Some of it might hurt you but I still believe that it should not be left forgotten.”

I saw her nod. “I just don’t know why I have this. This might offend you but what if I had selective amnesia because my mind doesn’t really want to remember those memories?”

“Maybe for now you have no interest in getting your memories back, but I know sooner or later you’ll be curious of what kind of memories you lost.”

Ji Yong smiled at her and went inside his room. It hurts knowing that the only thing he could do to just give her a smile.  He wants to kiss her and hug her so bad. He knows she’ll be hurt once she remembers everything but right now, he’s also hurting.

~~~

Sorry for the very late and short update :( It’s boring also. Sigh. I’m so nervous for tomorrow!! It’s the first day of our MSA college review. There’ll be boys!! Can’t blame me kkk~~ I’ve been studying in all girls school ever since XDD

Sorry if I can’t make comment replies.forgive me!! Please do comment and subscribe! And also for those who have subscribed already, thank you very much *folder bow* and to those who dropped by to comment in the previous chaps XD.  Love you all super!! <3333 

this is for all of you *hugs* also to gtimemtg and iellee eonnie :DD (weh?) XDD