Donghae shivered, he was sitting on the couch in the lower dorm next to his best friend Eunhyuk, watching one of his favorite movies. Donghae hadn't thought to bring up a blanket from the floor below as Eunhyuk always told him to. The dorm was empty, but not because people weren't around, they we're having a party downstairs; the two boys had retreated up here when it was clear that Heechul hyung, had had a little to much to drink. Donghae wasn't really paying attention to the movie, and not because he had seen it so many time, times just like this, curled next to Eunhyuk, but something was different:

 

“hyung” Donghae said, turning to look at Eunhyuk, who's big brown eye's were still staring blankly at the screen.

 

“you know I'm going away-”

 

“to Thailand to film your drama” said Enhyuk finally looking away to smile at the younger boy.

 

“it's all you've talked about for ages, remember?” said eunhyuk, with a little laugh.

 

“well...” said Donghae, moving a little further away from his friend so they could face each other.

 

Donghae had been trying to talk to Eunhyuk all week, but Eunhyuk was choreographing for the new album and Donghae was always tied up in meetings to discuss the drama. The two boys had hardly seen each other, know that they were finally in the same room together Donghae was at a loss for words.

 

“I'm gonna be gone for a really long time” said Donghae after a long pause. He looked down at his shoes to avoid the concerned look he knew Eunhyuk was giving him.

 

“I know, but I'll skype you everyday, and I'll get the others and everything” said the older boy has he grabbed hold of Donghae's hand, clearly trying to comfort him.

 

Donghae pulled away is hand and looked into the eyes of his friend:

 

“Maybe, maybe you shouldn't”

 

Donghae could here is voice crack on the last word and tears start to well up in his eyes at the thought of not seeing his friend. He looked back down at his shoes, hoping Eunhyuk hadn't noticed.

 

“No, no... what are you talking about?” said Eunhyuk, who sounded scared upon hearing his friend talk like this.

 

“I don't know hyung, something doesn't feel right” said Donghae, he could feel his throat closing as he turned to look away from eunhyuk.

 

“stop, don't say these things donghae, we love you here you can't..”

 

“but there was something I wanted to do, be-before I go” cutting across Eunhyuk. Donghae could now feel hot tears sliding down his cheeks.

 

“Donghae! Listen, you can't go! Not like Han geng... you can't!” said the older boy, with more force then he had intended.

 

Donghae was really crying know, Eunhyuk's tone suddenly seemed so harsh that the older boy pulled Donghae quickly into a hug, holding him tightly to is chest as only those monkey arms could.

 

“dongsaeng? what is it?” Eunhyuk said, trying to make up for his harshness.

 

I-I can't... I shouldn't..”

 

“it's ok, it's just me, whatever it is, it's just me”

 

“No, no”

 

Eunhyuk pulled away from the hug so to look into his dongsaeng's eyes, and as he did so Donghae placed the lightest kiss on his lips.

 

“donghae...?” whispered Eunhyuk after a long moment, but he was already gone.

 

 

Donghae was just outside the door, curled up in a ball, sobbing, not being able to bear going back to the party.

 

Eunhyuk came out and crouched down beside Donghae not saying anything.

 

“I'm so sorry” Donghae chocked out, “I shouldn't have done that...” he was so scared he had hurt his friend.

 

A flood of memories hit donghae with a renewed wave of sobs. He thought of times with Eunhyuk, times where he had pulled pranks on him, when there schedules had gone late into the night, the two of them working side by side, the two of them racing up escalators, watching movies, times where seeing eunhyuk was the only reason he got up in the morning, or when he had be such a comfort when his father had...

 

“I've ruined everything” said Donghae, after a rather powerful sob.

 

“stop, hyung..”

 

You must hate me! I hate me!” said Donghae, who then buried his face in his knees and continued sobbing.

 

“Lee Donghae” Eunhyuk said slowly and carefully, so that Donghae was sure to hear him.

 

The younger boy, surprised at the sound of his full name, peaked out over his knees to look into to Eunhyuk's eyes.

 

Slowly Eunhyuk stretched out his hand and lifted his dongseang's chin.

 

“I could never hate you”