Anything At All
Savin' Me -Drabble-
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
I'm doing it again. Drowning in the memories and lost in the sorrows of years past. So badly I want to escape these thoughts, but something holds me back. I strain to grasp you, but the anamneses drag me in the opposite direction. How long will I be trapped?
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
I won't go down without a fight. Writhing and squirming, refusing to be held back and held down. Trying to make the good outweigh the bad, but the negatives are piling.
Come please I'm callin'
Where are you?
And oh I scream for you
I need you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Catch me
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
You've been through so much more, so much worse than I. My problems are honestly nothing compared to yours, yet you're so much stronger. How do you do it?
Teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
I'd do whatever you told me if it meant escaping this. You see something in me. Help me reach my full potential.
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Anything at all. Just give me the word.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
Saying my prayers every night, wanting things to be okay. After I've prayed and wake up the next morning, I'm disappointed that nothing has changed. However, I don't lose faith and pray again later that night. Holding fast to what my grandmother taught me, I won't stop.
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
While I'm waiting, I need a way to cope. I need a way to get by each day. I've been taking the cowardly out, but now I want to take the really cowardly way out. How am I supposed to do this? I'm not used to having something so small as a razor. Forget it. Scissors.
"This really hurts," I whisper to myself as the blade cuts across my stomach and around my side to my back.
I'm careful to avoid my tattoo. A cross. I laugh with each text I get asking if I'm okay. After each one, I cut more and a little deeper. This is hilarious! I can just feel your frustration.
"You're so cruel," I tell myself.
"I know," I replied back nonchalantly.
I don't mean to be like this, though. It's a cry for help. Everytime I do something like this, it's a cry for help. I tire of this. I was never a big fan of cutting. I glance at my already bruised knee.
"Why the hell not?"
I slam down on my knees and wince at the pain. I wasn't expecting it to hurt so much, but after the pain subsided, I did it again. Several times actually. This was so much fun!
Come please I'm callin'
Where are you?
And all I need from you
All I want
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
Catch me
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Anything at all. Just give me the word.
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