Life is beautiful.

~~~

A sleek looking Kwon Jiyong was seating crossed legs on the red velvet carpet in front of the cozy fireplace. His back had been hurting the whole day having to sit at the office the whole day was taking its toll on the 35 year old man. With his hand gently massaging those once active muscles, Jiyong laid back a little, his weight resting on his other arm. A bright light blue sweater was hugging his body loosely as white fitted jeans covered in tired legs. Even though he it had been years since he was last up on the stage, he still looked dashing as ever.

Man, how time flies he thought.

He remembered so well how he had started, rapping and working hard in his teens then gradually succeeding in every attempt that life gave him to quit, to stop. But he didn’t. He pushed through every fire, every storm, every hardship he had encountered. And he won. He won big time. But not without any help of course.

Jiyong completely laid down on the velvet carpet on his back. His arms shielded his eyes from that soft glow on yellow light from the eminent ceiling above. He remembered that one time he never had problems looking at those bright lights, especially up on the stage. With his charisma and enthusiasm, those lights never bothered him as they followed his every move across the wide stage. But now look at him, he can’t even stare at them for too long without his tired eyes watering.

Once again, how time flies, Jiyong thought.

His head fell to the side and his eyes stared back at the opposite wall. A huge picture frame was hanging at the peach colored walls containing an enlarged picture of 5 young boys on their last day as Bigbang. Something in Jiyong’s chest tightened at that memory. All those years of training and sacrifices each member had went through, the group had finally agreed on disbanding. No one was really shocked when they came to that realization maybe it’s because it was just bond to happen. They can’t stay as Bigbang forever.

The picture on the wall was the last picture they had official took performing on stage. They haven’t announced it to the fans and media yet because they wanted everyone to have fun and be happy at their last concert. Jiyong remembered so well being the leader he was so keen on every little detail. He remember how Daesung panicked because the shirt he was wearing was a little too small and since it was their last concert, he wanted to be able to move freely in the crowd as he gives the fans his all. He remembered how Seungri was trying to be his normal self when Jiyong knows that he was about to burst into tears. He remembered how well Youngbae spoke to the crowd about them, about their brotherhood, about their family, talking about all their ups and downs with the crowd. And of course he remembered Seunghyun, Mr. T.O.P., he remembered how Seunghyun would just stare at the crowd at some times with a sad smile on his face as if he was trying to embroider that moment on his mind forever.

He remembered as he, himself, stared back at the sea of people beyond the stage, girls and boys huddled up close to each other with their yellow crown lightsticks up in the air, waving them proudly as they performed their hearts out. Seeing those billion dollar smiles on each and every one of their VIPs was the reason why all of the hardships that they had encountered were worth it to the end. But still, it wasn’t enough to prevent the group from disbanding.

Then the last encore song came in, Heaven by Bigbang. Jiyong smiled at this part, were every member was scattered across the stage, Youngbae in the middle with his shirt already of, Seungri was the left side corner wearing one of those panda hats that was thrown on stage, Daesung on the other side brightly smiling at the fans above, Seunghyun was sitting at the front edge of the stage eyes staring straight at the camera knowing very well that it was his face showing on the screen, Jiyong however was at the back, tears were already flowing down his face as he watched every bits and detail that he would embed on his brain for all eternity.

No one was singing by this time but it didn’t matter, the fans sang the song for them. They all had tears in their eyes as they stood rooted on their spots, their ears were enchanted with the voice of the crowd singing their song, Jiyong’s song. He remembered how he ran towards the front of the stage, he didn’t care anymore that everyone could see him cry like a baby, he didn’t care. With the microphone in hand, Jiyong called every one of the members to come forward and they did. They huddled up in the middle, everyone wearing sad and happy smiles, all of them realized that this, this moment was there last Bigbang moment, the last moment that all them five would be in front of the fans. And that’s when the camera clicked.

Without even knowing it, tears had already pooled down at the side of Jiyong’s face, but he never stopped staring at the picture on the wall. In the picture, they were huddled up at the front of the stage, each other’s arms on top of the other’s shoulder as they made a circle. And Jiyong remembered that words he had managed to otter at the time.

“No matter what happens, we are Bigbang.. until whenever.”

And then that was it.

A few days after their last concert YG entertainment released an official announcement of their disbandment, also apologizing to the fans for not telling it sooner. The expected uproar of reactions and comments happened, their VIPs were sad, devastated and were pleading for the news to be not true. But it was.

Daesung and Seungri left for Japan a few months later, both chasing their careers there. Daesung continued on his solo Japanese album which out sold most of the Japan talent. Seungri was depressed for a few months being the maknae of the group, he wasn’t mature enough yet to handle his feelings. But eventually he got back up and soon became one of Japan’s most talented host and actor like everyone expected him to be. Youngbae stayed under YG entertainment together with Jiyong. Youngbae moved on into a solo artist, standing in front of everyone alone this time, receiving an award that he had worked hard on. Jiyong stayed behind the scenes, focusing his career on producing songs like he was meant to and he exceeded at that. Seunghyun however, left. He left the music industry for awhile focusing solely on his acting career. Everyone had their own paths to take now. They didn’t need each other anymore, they finally knew how to stand on their own.

Jiyong once again turned his head to the other side this time, as he swiped those tears away with the sleeves of his sweater. On the other side though he could see in through the glass window of their villa, the sky was painted dark black and a few stars tried to compensate the dark atmosphere with their low glow.

“It’s already late, I wonder where he is.” He muttered to himself.

And just then he heard the front door open, heavy steps were heard. Jiyong didn’t have to move and see who it was because there was only one person in the entire world who had keys to their villa.

“Thinking about the past again?” Seunghyun chuckled, as he settled his bag at the sofa.

“How did you know?” Jiyong asked, still staring out the window.

“Well, maybe it’s because…” Seunghyun loosened his tie and dropped down together with Jiyong on the floor, blocking Jiyong’s gaze with the window. Now they’re both lying on the carpet floor, facing each other. “you always lay on the floor whenever you do.” Seunghyun smiled.

Jiyong only chuckled.

“You know me too well.” He replied, a smile started forming.

“How could I not? I’m married to you, remember?” Seunghyun leaned forward, capturing Jiyong’s lips with his for a kiss.

“You cried again, didn’t you?” Seunghyun said his lips still hovering over Jiyong’s. His hands moved up to cradle Jiyong’s face, his thumb wiping away those escaped tears.

“I can’t help it.” Jiyong sighed back. “I always cry when I think about Bigbang.”

Jiyong shifted and turned over to the other side, knowing perfectly well that Seunghyun would wrap his arms around him from behind, and he did, like always.

“You always only think about the sad stuff.” Seunghyun said in a soothing voice. “Why don’t you think about the happy ones as well? Like how Youngbae won artist of the year at the MAMA awards three years in a row? Or when we watched Daesung got married at the altar that winter day to his long time girlfriend? Or when Seungri excitedly announced that he was casted at a high ranking American show?”

Jiyong chuckled at every memory Seunghyun directed in his mind. He had to admit, there were thousands more good memories happened after.

“And how could you forget about that time I confessed my love for you?” Seunghyun continued, hugging Jiyong tighter to him. “Remember when you were working late at night alone at the studio and I just got back from my military service?”

“Yeah..” Jiyong whispered.

“Those two years serving the army brought me back to my senses that life can be taken away any given time, at any given moment. And that’s what pushed me to show you how much I loved you before it was too late.”

“I remember… but I didn’t say yes at that time.”

“You didn’t say no either. You made it hard for me, Ji.” Seunghyun buried his face in Jiyong’s hair, filling his sense of smell with the unique scent that only belonged to his Jiyong. “I had to woo you first. It was fun yet terrifying at the same time because I didn’t know if you’d say yes if I asked that question again.”

“..But I did.”

“Yes, you did. And then here we are. A few years later, we moved out of Korea, left our jobs to get married and be with each other.”

“..We did..”

“We adopted the most adorable son in the world, who’s probably already asleep in his room, right?”

“Yeah, I tucked him in already.” Jiyong chuckled.

“Life has been good to us, Jiyong. So stop only thinking about the sad stuff that happened in the past. Because there are a hell lot more happy ones that happened after.”

Jiyong thought back for a moment. Seunghyun was right, life had indeed been good to all of them. There’s no use sulking over the past because that past was what brought them to their present and eventually to their future. Jiyong stared once again at that picture on the wall. He would never forget those wonderful moments, performing on stage with the others. Never. They’re forever a part of his heart and he would always carry them wherever he goes, especially now that he’s bonded to one of them, until death do they part.

With a smile on his face, Jiyong turned back around, face Seunghyun’s caring expression.

“Okay..” Jiyong smiled.

“Good.” Seunghyun said as he pecked those lips once again.

Staring back at those powerful eyes, made every regret and uncertainty Jiyong had disappear as fast as it came. Seunghyun was right, he always was. He should stop drowning himself in self misery because it’s not worth it. Yes, the disbandment of the band was painful but the events that counted the years afterwards made up for it and more.  Life has been good to them. And Jiyong knew first hand just how much seeing that he has the one thing that kept him smiling all these years tightly wrapped around him, loving him back just as much or maybe even more.