CHAPTER ONE; Memini

“Hana! What are you doing? Come in!” Mirae’s voice rang through the cold December air.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I replied absent-mindedly with my gaze still fixated to the old make shift swing.

“Everyone is waiting for you,” she roughly pulled the ribbon on the side of my dress and dragged me to the dining room, “Sit here, and stay put!”

The seat was plush. Satin, I thought, because the slippery material made it hard for me to stay in one place without sliding to the sides.

“Hi,” someone beside me greeted. A boy, I figured.

It was like… What? Mirae, I just didn't understand what went through your mind when you arranged the seating for this god forsaken New Year's dinner. You knew, you knew that I was not the most sociable person out there, so why didn’t you sit me right next to you? Why did you put me right in the middle of this buzzing crowd?

“What’s your name?” I guessed this conversation was unavoidable. Crazy things that went through your mind Mirae, crazy things.

“Hana, Kim Hana,” I said without bothering to look him in the eyes. Hey, I knew that was rude but the expensive china plates in front of me needed a lot of appreciation, okay.

“I see that you’re interested with the swing at the backyard?”

With the mention of the swing, he earned my full attention, “Yeah! It’s just exactly like the one I used to have when I was a child!”

How easy of me to change, wasn't it?

As my rush of excitement receded, I could fully examine this boy’s feature. Tan skin, probably earned by a trip to the tanning salon. Short and spiky hair styled with an excessive amount of hair wax. Nice expensive suit, again, in satin. I wonder how he managed to sit on the chair altogether. This boy… Mirae! As my best friend for 5 years, how could you… How could you set me up with this kind of boy?! 

But as he chuckled over my over excited response, his eye-smile reminded me of…

“Sungmin?”

At the mention of the name, his smile went away and he looked at me wide eyed. Oh God. Don’t tell me that…

“Who’s this Sungmin you’re saying?”

“… No one… It’s just that…”

“My name is Jonghyun, okay? I don’t like to be addressed any other way than that.”

I laughed. I laughed for making myself believe for a moment that Sungmin could turn into this kind of person. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Sungmin, for doubting your sanity.

“Is everything okay back there?” Mirae was standing at the far end of the table, taking her respectful place as the master of the house. I looked around and glasses filled with wine were already raised.
“If you were listening, we now want to have a toast for a bright and prosperous new year,” She said, her tone a bit annoyed.

I quickly grabbed the glass in front of me and raised it high, “Here, here!”

Everyone in the table laughed and followed my chant, “Here, here!”

Mirae gave me a wink and sat down, clinking her glass to the other guests sitting beside her.

I clanked my glass to that boy beside me, the one that had Sungmin’s eye-smile.

Sungmin, Sungmin, by now you must be wondering who the hell is Sungmin already.

Well, to know him we must wander back quite a long time ago, when I was just five. No, no, when I was three. Two? Let’s just say I’ve known him for quite a long time now, since the beginning of my time in this world, maybe.

We were friends. Childhood friends. Best friends.

He lived at the big house next door and we used to spend the whole day after we went back from elementary school to play at either of our houses. If that day we decided to play at my home, we would play pretend all day long. Pretend that we were vets, police officers, Power Rangers, Sailor Moons, even princesses (yes, princess. And no, I didn’t force him to wear one of my tutus).
If we were playing at his home, we would spend the afternoon riding bikes around our neighborhood, or playing badminton at his garage, or taking turns riding the old, worn out, make shift swing at his backyard.

Yes, the sight of the swing in Mirae’s backyard brought back buttload of memories about my childhood with Sungmin. But that was not all.

As today was New Year’s eve, it reminded me of a promise I made. A silly one, you see, silly promises children make. I was not even sure if he would still remember that he made such promise. But remembering it myself left me with this annoying sense of guilt. For forgetting everything that we went through, for literally wiping him out of my mind in this past years.

Oh God, maybe drinking this glass of wine will help me through this night.

“Are you really going to move away?”

His foot scrapped across the gravel in an effort to abruptly stop the swing. But before it completely stopped, he jumped and briskly walked into his house.

I had to stop my activity of watering the plants to follow him inside.

“Sungmin, Sungmin, wait!” but my pleas didn’t slow him down. He took a sharp turn and entered his room.

His usually shipwrecked room was now even more untidy, with his belongings and cardboard boxes laying all around the place. His comic book shelf was empty, his drawers were stripped from their respective spaces in the cupboard and were stacked beside a gigantic plastic container. It only reminded me that his moving was close and inevitable.

“Sungmin, I’m sorry,” he disappeared inside his still trashed closet and I could hear soft thuds as he threw his clothes around the tiny room.

"I'm so so... so sorry. Will you please... Speak to me? Please?" but he didn't answer and just bit his lips shut. Seeing that he couldn’t find what he wanted to in the closet, he dashed past me and started to rummage through the boxes strewn around us.

“What are you looking for? I… I can help you find it,” I sat beside him and tried to have a peek on his face, through the curtain that was his long and untidy hair. Trying to guess what was his feeling right then.

But I didn’t have to wonder for long. When I heard him starting to snort and breathe through his mouth, and droplets of water started to fall on his test papers that filled the box to the brim, I immediately threw my arms around him and yanked him close to me.

His crying got louder and it only made me start crying too. We just sat there for a moment of silenced sobs and mutual understanding.

"I'm sorry I worried you," his fingers brushed along my temple and tugged the loose strands of hair behind my ear, "I'm sorry, please forgive me?"

We just looked at each other as we tried to even out our breathing, and eventually, we started to laugh.

“Don’t tell my mom,” he said as he wiped his overflowing snot with the sleeve of his shirt, “hell, don’t tell anybody.”

“It doesn’t really matter for me,” I cupped my hands on his cheeks and wiped his tears off with my thumb, “what’s wrong with crying?”

He inched closer and used his shirt to wipe the wet streaks on my face, didn’t forget to give my cheek a soft pinch.

It had never occurred to me that it was a romantic move. It was more of like, a maternal instinct for the person I cared for. But at that moment, it seemed like a weird force made us unable to look at each other’s eyes for a fraction of a second.

“Look!” to let myself out from the impending awkward silence, I jumped from his side and walked toward the plastic container. After a few moment of mixing its content around, I found what he was looking for.

“Great! You find it!” He ran to my side and snatched the item from my hand, “now we only need to wait for midnight.”

“Hand me the fire pocky!” I tried to take the package from him, but he was already running to the backyard.

“I want to spend all of today in the backyard,” he told me earlier that day, “because I want to... With you…”

Want to what, Sungmin? You never finished that sentence. Never.

“Na… Hana!” A hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. Oh, it was Mirae.

“W… What?” I answered with a silly grin on my face. From her expression, I could tell that she was not happy with my state of consciousness.

“How many glasses of wine have you drunk?”

“Two? Three? I don’t know anymore.”

“Five, to be exact,” the satin boy answered for me.

“Jonghyun! What did you do to her?” She gnarled to him, lightly pushing him away from me.

“Hey, hey! It’s not me who ask her to drink, it’s her that’s always asking for a refill!” He put his hands up in a defending position.

“Stop drinking! How are you supposed to go home like this?” Stop worrying me Mirae, everything is taken care of.

“My mom… She's... Going to pick me up,” I fumbled around my pouch, trying to find my phone, “Here, I’m going to text her your home address now, what’s it again?”

“Dahlia street number five.”

With the mention of that address, I almost dropped my phone.

“Are you okay Hana?” Mirae’s voice softened; maybe she was worried how a human jaw could drop that far.

I shook my head and tried to gain my composure back, “no, no problem.”

You were haunting me, Sungmin. You were everywhere today. On the makeshift swing, in the eyes of the person sitting beside me at dinner, beside that desk, eyeing the sparkler amongst the other types of firecrackers. And now you’re just two blocks away from me.

Should I see you today? Or shouldn’t I? I should, should I.

Notes: It's long, isn't it? *sigh* Hope you like it? Second chapter will be out in a day or so ^.^

Credit for the 'title style' and the 'partition' to loverush layout shop (hover your cursor over the name for an instant web telportation).

Ah yes, I should offer my apologies to Jonghyun for writing him as a... How should I call it... The Jerk. Sorry Jonghyun... Love you <3