☆ Title: 4/5
The title was good, but I think you could've made it more creative.

☆ Characters: 4/5
The characters were pretty good.

☆ Description/ Foreword: 5/5
The description/foreword was great!

☆ Originality: 11/15
I can't give you the full 15 points because it was based on U-Kiss's song, but I understand that that was the promt, so I didn't take off too much.

☆ Grammar: 11/15
You're grammar was pretty good, but instead of putting quotes around sentences that the characters said ("), you put ('), which is only used for a quote within a quote.

EX. 'He's not here..' Taemin whispers, his eyes full of tears.
Correction: "He's not here," Taemin whispers, his eyes full of tears.

Also, at the end of a sentence that a charcter says, isn't suppose to have a period, unless there is nothing after the sentence.

EX. 'An iced coffee.' I reply.
Correction: "An iced coffe," I reply.

You do not need to put multiple perios (.) after a sentence. It's okay for you to put it occationally, but you put it almost all the time.

EX. ' He is gone..'he whispers.
Correction: "He's gone," he whispers.

☆ Writing style: 15/20
You're writing style was pretty ordinary. There were some parts that I didn't understand, but overall, it was good.

☆ Flow: 5/10
The flow wasn't too good. The story went a bitt too fast. I mean I know it was a one-shot, but it could've been a bit longer and slower.

☆ Overall enjoyment: 10/20
The story wasn't the best I've read, but it was pretty good.

☆Bonus: 2/5
I gave you the bonus because you mentioned that writing in present tense was new to you. To me, that was pretty good for a beginner in writing present tense.

☆ Overall grade: 67/100

☆ Extra comment:
I think if you improved your grammar, the story would be better. Good job! ^_^

Review: Angel-of-the-Seas

Congratulations Katakatica for being our FIRST flower!