☆ Title: 4/5

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about your title, it's cliche yet clever at the same time. I've seen hundreds of stories with the words 'My Life with…' in it's title, but this one was unique, because intstead of having words like 'Cold-hearted Kingka' or 'Rich Playboy' in the title, you made a reference to Myungsoo's stage name, which I found to be amusing and clever.

However, I'm taking off a point because it is still rather cliche.

☆ Characters: 0/5

Your main female character (Jung Eun Seul) is boring and predictable; she can be considered a Mary Sue.

The fact that she's Yunho's secret sister is an overused idea and although it may be pretty exciting for the readers to know that Eun Seul is related to Yunho (because c'mon, Yunho is freaking hot), it can come off as boring to other readers as well. In your description of Eun Seul, you mentioned that she rarely ever showed aegyo, which was completely random and unnecessary for you to do. Besides, you didn't mention aegyo in any other of the characters description, so I don't see why you mentioned aegyo in Eun Seul's.

Jung Yun Ho is not as Gary Stu as Eun Seul is, but the way you portrayed him is overused and boring. Yun Ho is often portrayed as someone who cares a lot but doesn't show it, so I suggest that you avoid portraying him that way next time.

Myungsoo/L's character was just flat-out cliche and overused. L is pretty much always portrayed as a genius rude player, so your description of him was just boring and predictable.  Try giving Myungsoo more depth the next time you decide to use him as a character.

Im Ji Ae is a Mary Sue as well. I've seen millions of best friends who are 4D and talented.

Bae Su Ji/Suzy as your enemy is unusual, since I've never really seen her portrayed as an enemy or whatever, but the main character having an enemy whose in love with her love interest is cliche. Also, Suzy's character needs more depth.

Overall, I didn't like the way you portrayed your characters.

☆ Description/ Foreword: 2/5

The description was, unfortunately, cliche and overused. The plot you used for your story has been used millions of times, and I've seen stories with plots like these many times. The whole 'Nerdy girl transforming herself to impress oppars' idea is overused and boring.

Also, there were already spelling and grammar mistakes in your description, and as a reader, that's a huge turn-off for me. The description of a story tells a reader how the rest of the story will be like, and if there's this much mistakes in the description only, the rest of the story will be almost impossible to read.

Here are a few mistakes you made in your description:

[How it was written] Jung Eun Seul, who was a nerdy girl. Transferred to another school and changed herself in 2 years in order to make L, the school Kingkas and A Kpop Idol fall in love with her.

[How it should've been written] Jung Eun Seul, who was a nerdy girl, transferred to another school and changed herself in two years in order to make L, who was a Kpop idol and the school's Kingka, fall in love with her. 

I also noticed how you would capitalize the 'H' in the word 'He'. This is incorrect.

You only capitalize the 'H' in 'He' when you're referring to God, not regular people.

The foreword was fine, nothing was wrong with it at all. I like how you didn't make the font for your 'DO NOT PLAGIARIZE PLEASE :D' size 100 or something, since some authors tend to do that. Next time though, don't write it in capital letters. Just bold it.

☆ Originality: 5/15

Your plot, as I said before, is completely unoriginal and cliche. However, I have to give you points for that little y dance in chapter four, since I've honestly never seen that type of thing before.

Other than that, your plot was just unoriginal. I've seen countless of stories about a girl suddenly living in a dorm with a famous boy group.

No matter what the reason is, it's just impossible and unrealistic.

I mean, won't the sasaengs find out?

☆ Grammar, Punctuation & Spelling: 5/15

To be perfectly honest, I had to change this criteria because I wanted to give you points anyways. Your grammar wasn't good. You had a lot of grammar and punctuation mistakes, but your spelling was almost perfectly fine. There were a few here and there, so I suggest that you turn on the spell-check as you type.

If it wasn't for your spelling, your score for this criteria would be zero.

Next time, don't forget to put in fullstops at the end of every sentence!

☆ Writing style: 17/20

Your writing style, I must say, is actually pretty good.

Personally, I like really detailed, descriptive, and humorous writing styles, but your writing style was simple and easy to read, which would be great for most readers. Sometimes, you would be a bit too simple though, so try to be more descriptive.

I didn't like how you changed the POV so much in a single chapter. Try to avoid POV changes next time.

Also, I must admit that you are kind of humorous; some parts of your story actually had me chuckling for a bit!

☆ Flow: 4/10

Everything was going too quickly; one morning, she's at home and eating food, then she's at school, then she's at TVXQ's concert, then she's auditioning, then she's a trainee, and everything is just too quick.

Perhaps it's because you're not descriptive enough?

☆ Overall enjoyment: 11/20

To be perfectly honest, I did not enjoy your story.

I didn't like the plot, your characters, and your grammar, spelling, and punctuation wasn't good. I gave you 11 points, because your story was actually pretty funny!

I was definitely amused by your story and your sense of humor!

☆Bonus: 3/5

I read that this is only your second story, so I gave you bonus points because it takes time for an author to really develop their true writing style and to become a really good author. I've learned that from experience and I personally think that this was a not-so-bad story for your second one.

☆ Overall grade: 46/100

☆ Extra comment (optional) : I am so sorry if I somehow made you lose all motivation to write, but I really just wanted to say that you did pretty well for someone who just started writing!

It takes time for someone to become a good author, so you should try to improve your writing from this review and hopefully, you'll become a great author in the future!

Don't lose your motivation just because of your low score; I'm just extremely picky when it comes to reading stories!

Never give up when it comes to writing. Think of this review as a way to better your writing, and please don't lose motivation!

Have a great day and good luck in writing~

Reviewer: GorjessSeomate