I would like those that follows this project to read the following and try it for yourself. I, Patchouli like many people, hold a lot of grudges, I have two whole decades and then some to hold these grudges.

 

Follow these quick and easy steps to get your very own peace of mind:

 

 

Think of a person that has wronged you.

 

Write them a letter, in which you detail exactly what you wish you could say to them and sign it, leaving absolutely nothing filtered or censored. Remember, this is your fantasy.

 

Write back a letter to yourself, in their name, in which they tell you precisely what you want to hear. Be it an apology, an explanation, appreciation -- everything you feel you'd need in reality to stop feeling resentment towards them. After you've finished this letter, sign it as well, again in their name.

 

Read back this second letter every night before you go to bed over the course of a week. By the end of the week, you'll notice that, even upon meeting them in person, your level of resentment is reduced to next to nothing. You will be able to treat them as if they've righted their wrong, because even though perhaps you don't cognitively believe it, you do feel that emotional satisfaction and relief.

 

 

Additionally:  

 

 

First, you have to be honest. To the one you're addressing, and to yourself. If you don't (if you hesitate or censor yourself), you will never find out what's really bothering you, and you won't find resolution. One person told me that he couldn't resist holding his grudge because what the other had done was so abhorrent, but really his problem was that he held a grudge towards himself for not being able to stop it. To avoid that, be honest about what's bothering you. 

 

Second, people remarked that this was self-indoctrination or a way of lying to yourself, and lying to yourself is bad. It's not indoctrination, because you're not convincing yourself something is okay. You're convincing yourself that it's okay to let go of the emotions that only hurt yourself. Releasing bad emotions is healthy. 

 

Third, and most importantly, this isn't about making things right. It's about accepting and feeling the right way. Mindfulness and acceptance are key to any healthy state of mind. 

 

 

To Lee

 

Lee,

 

     How many times have I written to you before this? Both when we were together and after the fact. I spent my girlhood feeling respect for you, pity (about your health), then love. I've never believed in love at first sight, that includes you too. I fell in love with you slowly over time, but for half a decade there, I was really in love with you. Painfully, shamelessly, and hopefully.

 

     It has been years since our relationship ended, you'd think I'd get over the whole ordeal by now but I haven't. Some nights old wound still hurt, the scars you left behind on our parting never really healed. Did you know that I haven't trusted anyone quite like I once trusted you? You may not be the love of my life, not that I believe in in such a ridiculous thing anymore. I may have once upon a time, but you took that away from me. 

 

     Look at me, going off track again. Do you remember? You used to scold me about that, but then again you scold me about everything, and "scolding" is describing it lightly. It was really berating, wasn't it? I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty enough. I need to change. No, that's not enough, I need to change some more. You erased me! What was left was the shell of the person I used to be. 

 

     When we used to "fight" back then, which was really just you pointing out every flaws that I seemed to possessed— Thinking back, were they really flaws or were you just molding me into your masterpiece. Your still doll.  

 

     Wasn't I pretty then? Wasn't I a good girl? I really tried to make the relationship work. So why wasn't it good enough for you? Every time there was a problem, I really thought it was my fault, I kept trying to change myself to fit into your little box, until I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore.

 

     I really wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. I did loved you, how can you hate some one you once loved? All I really want right now is trust as I once did. Rely on people who really worked hard to stay in my life, regardless of how I'm pushing them away. 

 

     You don't deserve to be in my mind anymore, not then, not now. They shouldn't have to suffer my indifference because of your choices. You're a horrible person, I'm afraid that the people surround me will hurt me as you once did, and I hate that. 

 

     I don't want to think about you anymore. I want to banish you from my mind, maybe then I can sleep easy once again.  

 

 

To Patchouli