-I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. -Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. -Half the people you know are below average. -99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. -A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. -A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. -If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. -All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. -The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. -I almost had a psychic girlfriend... but she left me before we met. -OK, so what's the speed of dark? -How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? -If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. -Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. -When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. -Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. -I intend to live forever... So far, so good. -Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get into jet engines. -If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Stand by...