"Cold as ice, and more bitter than a December winter night-
That's how I treated you"

Sungyeol kissed Myungsoo on the cheek and handed him a plate of pancakes. He placed a mug of coffee next to his plate and watched as his boyfriend ate without saying a 'thank you,'. Sungyeol watched with a bitter smile as Myungsoo never once looked his way while eating.

Pushing his plate aside, Sungyeol got up from his chair and excused himself to the restroom. He closed the door behind him and slid down onto the cold tiled floor. It had always been this way. For three years. Three painful years for Sungyeol.

Myungsoo never showed any affection towards him. Sure, a couple of kisses here and there, but Myungsoo have never said 'I love you' before. That's what hurts Sungyeol the most. Sungyeol was contstantly saying 'I love You,' to the younger boy, but no matter how much he said it, Myungsoo never said it back. He would only give Sungyeol a half smile.

Sungyeol cried and placed his hands against his mouth to prevent Myungsoo from hearing it.

Though Myungsoo may not even care.

"And I know I sometimes tend to lose my temper, and I cross the line.
Yeah, that's the truth"

Sungyeol flinched as Myungsoo slammed the bedroom door.  The smaller boy didn't even what he did wrong. One minute he was waiting for Myungsoo to come home, and the next minute, Myungsoo and him were agruing about something stupid and that resulted in Myungsoo saying;

"I hate you. You can't do anything right."

Sungyeol sat down on the couch and laid his head on the armrest. Again, Sungyeol cried himself to sleep.

--

Myungsoo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He never wanted to act this way towards Sungyeol. It's true, he's not good with showing his emotions and instead of showing care, he shows anger instead.

He hates it when he hears Sungyeol's sniffles from beside him when they sleep, but there's nothing he can do. He knows he's the reason behind those sad eyes.

And it's killing him.

"I know it get's hard sometimes, but I can never leave your side
No matter what I say."

 Myungsoo started to panic as he looked all around the house for Sungyeol. He checked the kitchen and no one was in there. He checked the bathroom and no one was in there.

The last place was the bedroom.

With shaking hands, Myungsoo turned the doorknob to the bedroom and his whole world felt like it was crashing down when he saw Sungyeol's things were gone. The drawers that Sungyeol placed his things in were all gone. There was an empty gap in the closet and his toothbrush was left standing all alone. The bed was made and attached to Sungyeol's pillow was a note;

     Myungsoo, I have to leave. I can't do this anymore. Three years of pain and I'm done. I stayed with you for three years because I loved you. I thought that maybe I would be able to change you. Change you into a loving person, but I was wrong. The constant agruing. The silence when we're together really kills me. I always thought It was because of me. Am I not good enough for your love? I really can't do anything right. Well, I'm finally giving up. I will give you your space now, because I don't think my heart can take this much anymore. Find someone who you'll truly love. Okay? Goodbye, Myungsoo.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            -Sungyeol.

Myungsoo's life had literally fallen apart.

"I try to pretend it didn't matter if I was alone. But deep down I know if you were gone-
for even a day, I wouldn't know which way to turn."

Myungsoo walked aimlessy towards the bathroom. It had been a week since Sungyeol left him and although he kept telling himself that he didn't need Sungyeol, the truth was always in front of him.

He loved Sungyeol with all his heart.

Sungyeol was his air.

Sungyeol was his whole world.

And he just lost him.

He lost the one person that had put up with him for three years.

"Cuase If I wanted to go, I would have gone by now.
But, I really need you near me to, keep my mind off the edge.
If I wanted to leave, I would have left by now, but you're the only one that knows me.
Better than I know myself."

Sungyeol wiped the tears that kept streaming down his face. He told himself that he could do this. If he went running back to Myungsoo, it would show the younger boy how much power he had over him. Sungyeol didn't want that.

The day that Sungyeol left the house, he had moved in with his best friend, Sunggyu.

Sunggyu has always been there for Sungyeol. He was the only one that encouraged Sungyeol to keep going on with Myungsoo while his other friends kept telling him to dump the 'jerk bag'.

"Hey, don't cry." Sunggyu said and pulled Sungyeol in a hug. He wiped the younger male's face and kissed his forehead. "You'll get over him."

Sugyeol shook his head and gripped onto Sunggyu's sleeves.

"I don't think I can. I spent too much time on him and now I don't think I can spend another second without Myungsoo in my life."

Sunggyu just continued to comfort the crying boy until he fell asleep.

--

Sunggyu placed Sungyeol down on the bed and sighed. He walked out of the door and grabbed the phone off the counter. He then dialed a number, because he knew what was best for Sungyeol.

--

Myungsoo sat on the couch and only got up when he heard his phone ringing. He picked it up;

"Hello?"

"Myungsoo?"

Myungsoo instantly had an open mind when he heard who was in the other line.

"S-sunggyu?" He asked.

He heard the person on the other side mumble something before answering.

"If you want to see Sungyeol and make things right, he's at my house. I'll leave to go to Woohyun's and you'll have time to talk to him. Bye."

And before Myungsoo even got to say something, Sunggyu hung up. Myungsoo just stood still and thought about what Sunggyu had said.

Should he?

Should he go get Sungyeol back?

He was afraid that he would hurt the older boy again.

--

Myungsoo was currently standing in front of Sunggyu's home. He didn't know if this was the right choice, but when he kept telling himself 'no,' he just suddenly found himself walking towards the direction where his ex-lover was.

He rang the door bell and looked under the house matt when he remembered that Sunggyu had said something about a spare key. He picked it up and quietly unlocked the door.

He silently opened the front door all the way and placed the spare key on a side table he saw when he walked in.  Myungsoo took a look around and walked upstairs when Sunggyu had also said something about Sungyeol being alseep.

With each step that Myungsoo made, his heart started beating faster.  Everything seemed like it was in slow motion when he had opened the door to Sunggyu's room and saw how broken Sungyeol looked- even when he was sleeping.

Myungsoo placed a hand on Sungyeol's cold cheek and almost ran out when Sungyeol's eyes fluttered open.

"M-Myungsoo...?" After seeing who it was, Sungyeol quickly got up and scooted away from the younger boy.

Myungsoo's heart broke at that gesture.

"Sungyeol...,"

"What are you doing here?" Sungyeol asked coldly. Myungsoo was shocked at the tone of voice. Sungyeol never used that kind of voice towards him. Never.

And without thinking, Myungsoo lunged himself forward and embraced the tiny body. A string of 'sorry's' were coming out of Myungsoo's mouth and before Sungyeol got to realize what was happening, he found Myungsoo's lips on his.

When they parted, Sungyeol stared at Myungsoo and started crying.

"W-why? Why do you have to do that!? I'm trying so hard to get over you and- and...!" Sungyeol couldn't finish his sentence due to his sobs and Myungsoo felt like the biggest jerk in the entire world.

"Yeollie," He grabbed Sungyeol's hands and lifted up his chin, so that he got to stare in those big doe eyes. "You know I don't show my feelings really well. I tend to screw up here and there, but...I really need you. Don't you think that if I wanted to leave, If I didn't love you, I would have left you a long time ago? I don't want to leave you, and I don't want you to leave me."

Sungyeol's eyes were slowly widening when he heard Myungsoo's confession. This was the first time Myungsoo had ever spoken about their love.

"You're the only thing that keeps me going. So, please don't leave me. You're the only one that knows me. Better than I know myself."

Myungsoo placed a kiss on Sungyeol nose and smiled when he felt soft hands wipe away his tears that he shed.

"Sungyeol, I love you."

The words that Sungyeol were dying to hear, was being said.

Sungyeol flung his arms around Myungsoo and cried in the crook of his neck.

"I love you too,Myungie."

Myungsoo smiled and wrapped his arms around Sungyeol's waist.

"Don't ever leave me again."

--

Sungyeol always knew that Myungsoo was never the type to say such things. He knew his boyfriend wasn't good with expressing his feelings, but after tonight, something tells him that it's going to be all tight. Everything was going to become all right. Because Myungsoo loves him and he loves Myungsoo.

--

Ever since that day, Myungsoo had vowed to never make Sungyeol leave him again. 'Cause he would really lose it if Sungyeol left him. He needed Sungyeol in his life. He had promised himself that he would never make the taller boy cry. He promised to show his love more clearly now. He won't let his lover slip through his fingers again.

--

Authors note;

What was that? I don't know. I'm sorry.
I really don't know.
I was just listening to Adam's 'Better Than I know Myself,' song and I thought
Myungyeol fitted the song alot.
So, I..yeah.
It's not as sad as you thought it would be, huh? (;

F.y.i; Myungsoo had always loved Sungyeol from the start, but he never really knew how to show it.