7 PM, New Year's Eve

She gaped at herself in the mirror, purposefully stretching open so the liner could be applied. New Year’s Day, and here she was again, applying a touch of makeup.

She would wonder why she bothered, but then again she already knew, even if she wouldn’t admit it: Make-up painted on CL, and CL gives her strength.

Like every New Year, her hand reaches for the eye-liner last, and like every New Year, her hand would slip and a long, charcoal black line marred the side of her face.

She would wonder why she always ends up removing her makeup after that, but then again, she already knew. CL was beauty, CL was confidence, CL was invincible.  But Lee Chaerin isn’t. Lee Chaerin always has to care.

Lee Chaerin doesn’t want her façade and alter ego CL to crack. Lee Chaerin has to put others before herself. Lee Chaerin hates being her.

8 PM, New Year's Eve

The doorbell rings, once, twice. That rat was too impatient for his own good. She mutters a curse as she composes her face into a smile. Dara was in the bathroom, Bom was cooking and Minzy was preparing cards for the game later. It would have to be her.

Mechanically grab the cold metal handle, twist and pull it open. Hope it isn’t him first,  relief it wasn’t. “Oppa, come on in!” Hide a cringe at the raspy voice of hers, makes a mental note to drink more water as she holds her arms wide open to initiate a hug.  Daesung, YoungBae, T.O.P. Accept their New Year wishes, smile and banter with them playfully.

She wrinkles a brow at the rat in front of her and bats him on the head. “Seungri, you definitely need to be more patient, how many times do you need to ring the doorbell?” Kick him away mockingly but hug him in the end as a laugh escapes.

Be glad she hasn’t painted on CL.

“Oppa,” smile at the last guy on the list, grimacing at the fakeness. A smile stretched out too much- can you not feel the difference?  

“Hey Hunchae.” An adorable smile from his lips, will her heart not to beat.  He opens his arms wide, but before she could react, another slim figure bounced into his embrace. A familiar scene enfolds, seeing Dara in his arms. “Jiyongie!” She squeals, and then they lock lips.

A smile stretched out too much- can you not feel the difference? A heart fated to crack- can you make it not do that?

Don’t you wish you painted instead?

8.30 PM, New Year's Eve

Dinner and he sits in front of her. Watching him play lovey-dovey was torturous. The TV’s playing, the countdown begins, and still the fireworks do not cease. Bite by bite, laughter and smiling.  Bite by bite, feeding and cooing. Bite by bite, kissing and teasing.   

Bite by bite and she reaches her limit.

“Get a room, Daragon!” Bom teases as all eyes divert to the closed rooms.  Only hers was locked, and only he knows why.  His clothes, his cologne, his accessories. A stare passes between them two. All words said in one eye-conversation:

“I’m sorry… Dara is being extra clingy today.” He pouts, he whines, he asks for forgiveness.
He kisses her, familiar lips against hers.

And she kisses back.

They both divert their eyes at the same time, a promise of 'later' lingering. They know what’s at risk and a facade pasted back on, a smile stuck back in shape. And all eyes already stop dwelling on that topic. 

Back to the TV, random broadcasting. She wonders when they will actually stop hiding.

When Dara will actually realize she never had him, in heart, soul or even body? 

CL smiled smirked as she pushed ahead of Lee Chaerin who was opening to answer. No-one steals the baddest female's prize. 

9.45PM, New Year's Eve

Sitting round, playing poker cards. The cards are revealed, a four of a kind against a royal flush. She tips her drink towards Dara, happily yet mockingly.
Baby Darong has no idea what she's up against. The one-of-a-kind belongs to the queen. 

And Dara drinks to the toast merrily, unknown about that look between him and her. "Let's grill meat! I'm hungry again!" Bom, the forever moodmaker.  Or, should she say, mood breaker? 

Lee Chaerin kicks the baddest female away as she smiles sweetly at Dara and Bom and joins them in grilling food. Lee Chaerin cares enough to accept the truth.  That he isn't ever going to be hers out in public, maybe forever. 

But she had him, and that was enough. 

And CL scoffs. 

10.15 PM, New Year's Eve

She steps out of the living room to her room, excuses herself to hug her soft toy, something that was actually hers. The sticky cheesiness, how Dara sits on his lap like she owns the world, and how 2NE1Bang's only entertainment is to poke fun at the couple, and how the jokes and laughter would actually be so much more interesting if the whole world wouldn't be so focused on Daragon. 

If only. She pouts as she hugs the bear. It seems like it was only her though, being bothered. She could hear the joy and laughter filtering through the shut door, now unlocked. 

I could enjoy myself a whole lot more if I was CL, I could just off with all that and party hard. 

But no, she was Chaerin and she cares for 2NE1 and Bigbang's feelings too much, more than her own. 

10.20 PM, New Year's Eve

The door opens, then and he sneaks in. "Aww, our queen is pouting," he coos, sitting on her bed as he leans over to squish her cheeks. "Why are you here?" Won't she get angry? 

"She asked me to get her that bag on her dressing table," he shrugged, before gathering her in his arms, rocking her gently. These are the only times they could be blatantly obvious about their own affection: In secrecy.

Their love was built on secrecy, evolved from secrecy, started from secrecy and remained in secrecy. She twisted her body and leant her head against his chest, silently savoring the moment before she had to return him.

She was, after all, the third wheel. 

It was a mutual attraction, definitely. But let's just say, he got attached before that attraction was 'realized'. They got drunk in one of those afterparties, they let loose, they went wild, and then... They couldn't let go. 

It wasn't as if they could tell anyone that he broke up with Dara to be with her. 

10.24 PM, New Year's Eve

Dara catches hold of Jiyong's hand that held the bag as she watches from the side. watching how Dara hooks her hand into his, who was still holding the gift bag. 

"Presents?" Dara holds the bag up, as the rest of the people cheer. She watches as TOP's hands sneak around Bom's waist as Seungri makes a snarky remark on how it wasn't Christmas, before being conked on the head by Taeyang. She watches as Dara smiles, the little fairy angel, hands gifts out and pushes hers into her hands.  "Wifey~ for you!" and she thanks her from the bottom of her heart. Dara was adorable, and she is reminded again of how much she loves Dara.

The present was the Verbal accessory she had wanted and probably cost a bomb.  And she feels it, that- that- prick of guilt.

Having been in his arms less than 5 minutes ago didn't help.

And CL comes out again, fighting that drain, the gaping hole.

"All's fair in love and war, and being a best friend, loving Dara as a B.F.F., does not mean you give up what you call true love. They are two different things." 

10.25 PM, New Year's Eve 

Dara pulls the last gift- his gift- out from the bag, and she cringes. The guilt becomes more overwhelming as she recognizes it at once. 

A ring box. 

"Our forever rings~" Dara squeals, pulling out the designed steel ring and fitting it onto his ring finger.

CL shoved her way to the front as she registers what Dara says next, "Our first forever rings, right, Jiyongie?"

Wrong. He has a forever ring, with me. 

CL smirks, remembering how he gave her couple bracelets- one black and one red a few days later.

And she watches with no guilt as she catches him twisting the ring so that the word 'forever' is hidden.

11.45 PM, New Year's Eve  

Everyone's pretty wasted, she guesses. Seungri suggests that they play 'Truth Or Dare' as a flick through most of the channels prove that there was nothing worth watching. 
They randomly pick up one of the empty bottles and spins it. It lands on Dara and she picks truth, and yells out the truth before anyone asks. 

"Jiyongie I love youuu~"
 

She stiffens uncomfortably as he manages a small smile as he smoothes a hand through Dara's smooth locks. Guilt, sadness, all mix in her gut as she stands up abruptly. She knows that Dara had a cup too much earlier, perhaps even some of the other guys, and she makes up an excuse to get a cold drink for them. 
 

And she knows he followed her. 

11.55 PM, New Year's Eve

10 minutes in the kitchen, and it was still the comfortable silence broken only by the ice clattering into the cup and the fizz the pop and apple juice makes when opened. She gets herself a cup of cold strawberry yogurt, acutely aware of his every move- and he was still staring at her. 

She smiled playfully as she silently gestured to the ice melting behind him and bit back a laugh when he yelped at the water soaking his clothes. 

11.59 PM, New Year Eve

Dara leans on him, waiting for the fireworks to start. She watches the two of them from the corner of her eye as she argues with Seungri. As the fireworks go off, and Dara pulls him into a kiss, she feels his hand seek hers, a promise renewed under the multitude of lights. 

12 AM New Year's Day

A promise and a secret kept for another year. 

And CL smirks. 

A/N: The End. This was supposed to be the storyline for Clandestinite, but, well... ^^ I've got a new plot for that one. 

Do you think there should be a sequel? I hope you guys enjoyed it, subscribe and comment! ^^