Busan, December 1998

The winter of 1998 was hell.  There was the broken heart that he could not talk about and then the guilt of resenting his brother’s blossoming relationship with Shiwon.  Fall was supposed to be the season of loneliness but he was sure this would last through all of winter and stretch even further beyond that.  It left him grouchy and moody, more so than usual and the winter chill that was beginning to settle in did not help to lift his spirits in the slightest.

“Why are we even here?” Yoonjae gave Sungjae a look.  It was his stupid idea that had brought the three of them here.  Yoonjae wasn’t sure why he’d agreed; maybe the heartbreak had affected his brain cells as well.  Then again things with Sungjae rarely had anything to do with actually agreeing; it was more the other teen nagging and dragging them along.

It used to be fun but nothing was really much fun lately.

“He’s right, we’re seriously too old for this,” Hakchan agreed, probably partly because he was busy fearing for his neck if Yoojung found out about this particular outing.  Who went to a Colatech with no intention of picking up girls?

He could hear the music even from outside, not enough to make out the actual song but stray notes and a subtle beat.  It gave him a headache just standing there, “This place is too loud.”

Sungjae was shivering ridiculously because he’d deemed his season inappropriate clothes stylish, barely able to keep his teeth from clattering long enough to respond.  “Girls like guys that can dance!  You’re single too; I’m doing this for your sake as well!”  Yoonjae gave Sungjae a dirty look but given that they were already standing here it wasn’t as if he or Hakchan really intended to bother to fight him on this.

“Whatever, let’s just go in before you freeze to death.”

He wasn’t sure where Sungjae got the crazy idea he’d be able to pick anyone up, he looked like a moron when he danced.

The fact was proven the moment they stepped in and Sungjae started to do some weird swishy dance that made him look even stupider than he actually was.  It was a level of stupid that most girls would not touch, let alone date.  Yoonjae exchanged a look with Hakchan who looked part disgusted and part amused.

Maybe it’d improve his mood to watch Sungjae go on one of his hopeless missions to pick up girls, it was always good for a laugh if nothing else.  That was probably why they were here, music blaring and the bass vibrating heavily under the feet.

The music changed suddenly, the lights that had been spinning in senseless patterns stopped, dimming the entire dance club before it lit up again to focus on the stage.  Everyone naturally all turned to look, Yoonjae included though he only half recognised the song that began to beat against the walls of the club.

“Hey, I think I’ve seen that guy before.”

“How can you tell?”  In the lighting it was hard to see anyone’s face honestly, besides once the song started and the boy on stage started dancing it was even harder.  His motions were quick and precise, drawing loud cheers from seemingly everyone in the club.

“…okay, it’s hopeless.  He’ll get all the girls tonight,” Sungjae declared dejectedly the moment the teen let his outer shirt drop, baring his shoulders.  He had a pretty good face too, nothing that Sungjae could compete with for sure.

“Even if he wasn’t here it’d be hopeless,” Yoonjae quipped with a smirk.

The song ended with an overwhelming scream from everyone watching, or just about.  The lights that should have been harsh and ugly just seemed to accentuate the teen’s masculine features; Yoonjae wondered if Shiwon would have been into this guy as well.

Even after he left the stage Yoonjae was pretty sure the girls were still screaming and chatting about him.  He looked at Sungjae, “So are we still going to stay?”

What came from Sungjae could only be described as a battle cry.  “Of course!  Even if it’s hopeless if we don’t try what did I freeze my off in this outfit for!”

Nothing came of the next half hour they spent there.  Sungjae made a spectacular fool of himself but it wasn’t even worth the laughs.  Yoonjae thought his ears were ringing when they finally left the club.

Unfortunately leaving the club did not bring peace and quiet, it brought Yoojung and all her righteous screaming fury.  

“What are you doing here?”  She had this look, crazy eyed and utterly terrifying.  It wasn’t directed at Yoonjae but he still felt some degree of the burn, paralyzed by her radiating anger, he pitied Hakchan a lot of the time.  They liked each other but every month it was either one of these fights or one of their ‘breakups’.  Maybe it was good that he wasn’t dating Shiwon, if this was what it was like to date, after all Shiwon was crazier than Yoojung in many ways.

Even as he thought that he didn’t feel comforted at all.

Sungjae was trying to break it up, assuring Yoojung that Hakchan hadn’t done anything, as if he was even capable of doing anything.  She wouldn’t hear any of it, bringing on the flailing limbs and flared nostrils.  Yoonjae backed away a bit, leading him to bump into someone that was just walking out of the club they’d been in.

“Sorry, excuse me.”

“It’s okay.”  Yoonjae had turned to apologise to the person he stumbled into and ended up eye to eye with the dancer that stole the show in the club.  Clinging to his arm was a pretty girl probably around their age, big eyes and shiny hair.  He wondered if that was why this guy danced, to pick up girls.  It seemed sad, like a waste of real talent and skill even if it was in the end just dancing.  Why did they all have to have a girl by their side anyways?  Didn’t they have a sense of pride?

The guy looked past Yoonjae at the commotion that was still going on with Yoojung and Hakchan.

“...is everything all right?” he asked after a moment’s hesitation, seemingly genuinely concerned.  Not that it wasn’t understandable, Yoojung seemed like she was out for blood.

“Oh...uh...yeah, they’ll be fine.  This happens all the time.  You can just ignore them.”

It was probably impossible to actually ignore all the yelling but no one else seemed to have any trouble just throwing them looks and walking by.  The girl clinging to him seemed to be inclined to the same.

“Joonhee-yah, let’s go.”  He looked at her and back at the Yoonjae’s group and then back again, relenting in the end.  He gave Yoonjae a nod before letting the girl pull him away.

He even turned to glance back at them again, Yoonjae didn’t blame him for that, they were making quite the scene but Yoonjae swore the guy looked right at him not anyone else.

Seoul, February 1999

Heartbreak didn’t describe what 1999 brought.  It was closer to partial death, confessing his love in spite of everything and gaining nothing for it.  That was the end, right?  

It was pathetic.

The days following his confession at Shiwon’s sad excuse of a birthday gathering he’d avoided her like a plague.  If he could just through the days until he left Busan he could maybe go the rest of his life never seeing her again.  Seoul was a big city and Korea was a big country, it would be possible provided that she didn’t end up marrying his brother.

He felt sick, like he’d eaten something bad that left everything inside him churning and tumbling like clothes in the dryer.  He was so glad when he got off the bus because he’d sincerely thought he was going to throw up all over himself.

His brother had offered to drive him and help him get settled in his dorm but Yoonjae had turned him down.  Horrible as it was even seeing his brother made him think of Shiwon and how much the gaping hole in his heart burned.  

Yoonjae made his way to the dorm room he’d been assigned, hoping that his roommate wasn’t there yet because he wanted nothing more than to be completely alone for a few hours.

Clearly nothing could go his way though.  Even before he walked in he could hear the chatter, noisy and excited.  He was so out of it he didn’t bother to wonder why there so many women’s voices in his room.

There were four women in the too small dorm, two with box cutters (were they twins?), one pulling books out of a box to arrange on the bookshelf, and another with her chin propped on his roommate’s shoulder.

Yoonjae recognised her, her and his roommate.  

“...hello?” he greeted belatedly, when he realised everyone had turned to look at him.

His roommate smiled sheepishly, moving towards Yoonjae.  Really his face should have only been vaguely familiar but somehow that inconsequential memory cut through everything else like a knife.  “Sorry about the fuss... they’ll be out of here soon and we’ll get out of your way.”

Yoonjae waved off the apology distractedly, “It’s okay, I don’t have a lot.  You’re not in my way.”

“No really, they’ll go soon,” his roommate turned to look at his posse.  The one with the books nodded while the two with the boxcutters rolled their eyes.  “Sorry about that...  I guess we’re going to be roommates, I’m Kang Joonhee.”

He bowed, perfect manners and perfect smile.  Somehow it wasn’t anything like the impression that Yoonjae got from the way he danced on the stage that he’d looked onto some months ago.  A cool, tough guy that had a girl hanging off each arm, that was what he’d kind of imagined.  Though there were more girls than he could fit on his arms in the room.

“It’s really fine.  Ah...I’m Yoon Yoonjae,” he returned the bow though his smile was probably strained and awkward.

“Oh, you’re from Busan as well?” Joonhee commented brightly, Yoonjae was surprised and it was probably all over his face.

“You recognise me?”

Obviously not, Joonhee looked confused though it only lasted a moment.  “No?  It’s just...your accent?”

“Right, that.”

Joonhee looked almost like he thought he should apologise, it made Yoonjae feel even stupider.  Stupid because somehow this guy’s face was something he remembered so well, stupid because he’d thought that maybe it was the same case for Joonhee, and just overall stupid because it seemed like everything he did lately was made of it.   

Joonhee looked past him, peering at the door.  “You came by yourself?  Do you have any boxes with you?  I can give you a hand.”

It was quickly becoming obvious he was the thoughtful and helpful sort.  That moment of checking that no one would be murdered outside the dance club had been sincere and natural, not just someone curious about a freakshow.  

“I had most of my things shipped, they’ll arrive tomorrow.”

“...maybe that would have been a better idea,” he muttered quietly, but loud enough to be heard by the girl that Yoonjae had seen him at the club with.  She shoved at his shoulders, pouting.  “When did you become such a thankless brat, Kang Joonhee?”

Maybe she wasn’t his girlfriend.  He’d thought maybe Joonhee had a harem thing going on but it was becoming obvious that was really not the case.

The twins pitched in, their voices blending and blurring together as they chastised Joonhee.  All he could do was murmur apologies and make placating gestures with his hands.  “You guys are making a scene,” the one with the books finally abandoned them, opting to break up the argument instead while Joonhee continued to apologise.

“All right, you’ll have to unpack the rest yourself.  We’re going to get going, Joonhee,” she must have been the leader or the oldest or something, the other three automatically following.  She gave Joonhee a hug while the twins each gave him something between a shove and a pat, the last one gave Joonhee a hug and a kiss.  All that done they shuffled out of the dorm room, bowing slightly at Yoonjae and waving.

Joonhee smiled until they were out of the room, only wincing when it was just him and Yoonjae there.  “Sorry about my sisters,” he said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck as if embarrassed.

“Ah, they were your sisters!”  It came out without Yoonjae meaning to say anything and too loudly.

Joonhee frowned, “If they hear that you think they look old enough to be my mom or aunties they might kill you.”

It was the first laugh Yoonjae’d had since the karaoke room confession, it felt good.

...warning, this is one of those stories I only have a very vague idea of where it's going.  All I can promise is Yoonjae/Joonhee the rest of the details...idek