“Sorry Sulli, . I’m so sorry.” I can identify pain in my voice. My face flushed as i cursed under my breath. I curse myself even more in my mind. I don’t know if she will accept my apology but that’s the least that i can do. The damage has been done.

I glance at her and she was just standing there looking at me. Her eyes showed confusion and it makes me think, what the did i just do to my dongsaeng? My hand automatically massaged my temple and i whispered incoherent words to myself. Moments of silence passed but we’re still standing there looking at each other, then finally she hold my hands and smiled weakly at me, i can tell she’s nervous, her hands are ice cold and shaking.

“It’s okay oppa, let’s just pretend nothing happened, okay?” she tried to sound nonchalant but failed. I heard her heave a sigh once more. I don’t want to forget it, since i know she’s never had any boyfriend and i can tell it was her first kiss. I don’t know if i should be happy or not.

“No, let’s just say, i taught you how to kiss. Alright? You’re a bad kisser.” I joked, hoping that it will take away all the awkwardness enveloping the air. She laughed nervously.

“Yah! That’s my first kiss!” just as i thought. Should i feel sorry for her? Or happy.  And I’m frustrated cause i don’t know what exactly is she thinking at the moment.

“At least, your first kiss was a good kisser! And not some other guy with no experience.” I scoffed, i don’t know what makes me say that but i hope it will somehow make her feel relieved. She smiled at me but didn’t speak afterwards, and that makes it even more awkward.

“I guess i have to go. It’s late.” I said pretending to look at my wrist watch but my mind is somewhere else.

“Okay oppa! Thanks again for the gift and for coming!” She exclaimed, her voice not strained this time, i can tell that she’s eager to send me off, that’s better i guess.

“No problem my favourite dongsaeng.”

“Let me accompany my last old visitor outside. I still wonder why i didn’t call you ajhussi in the first place.” And i heard her laugh at her own joke.

“Cause i don’t look like one.” I bragged and turned to her when we finally reached the gate. I ruffled her hair and pat her cheeks like i normally do.

“It’s goodnight then birthday girl.”

“Ne! Goodnight oppa. Drive safely. See you soon.” And with that she turned around to go inside. And something inside me wants to see her face again, just one last time today.

“Sulli!” she turned to face me and raised her eyebrows.

“Nothing..” i trailed of and smiled softly, she smiled again showing her eye smile and that’s all i need to see.

*Sulli POV*

I opened my laptop and decided to update my private blog.

March 30, 1:32 am

Tonight on my birthday, Heechul  came late. I thought he’d ditch my special day and good thing he didn’t. He said he wants to be with me alone, that’s why he came last. And he gave me an iPad, it’s the best gift, because i didn’t think he would spend that much for me.I remember telling him that Luna already have hers but i didn’t know he would buy one for me. He even sang Chobyeol for me, i really feel so special and danced to Just Like Now with him singing. And the most beautiful gift of all? My first kiss. He kissed me and i don’t even know why, but regardless of the reason why he did it, i’m still happy. There’s something wrong with him i know, is it because..?? no i don’t want to put it here, you’ll say i’m delusional, and i don’t want to have false hopes. It may hurt. Now now. I still have a lot of gifts to open and i’m sleepy. TT Goodnight.

♥Sulli

*3^rd person POV*

After Sulli’s Birthday party, SME’s manger Kim Youngmin called for a meeting, about their guesting to an annual show. The participants are form the same company. Super Junior, Girls Generation, Shinee and f(x). They’re happy to see each other, after all they didn’t meet that often because of conflict on their schedules. Heechul arrived late, he didn’t like waiting as always.

“Oppa, how are you?” Sulli mouthed from across the table, he gave her a thumbs up and smiled, the younger smiledtoo and nod, then engage herself into a converstation with her seatmate Krystal.

Clearing his voice Mr. Youngmin caught all the attention of the artists.

“I called a meeting for you, because I’ve had agreed on a contract with SbS. You’ll be participating this summer’s KING OF IDOL.”

“whoa!”

“cool”

“yes!”

“really?”

“Great!!”

A hand was raised and all the people quieted not wanting to test the manager’s temper.

“But as for you, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Minho, Onew and Krystal, you won’t be joining them since you have already participated last January.”

“Oww.” Eunhyuk whined in protest, the 4 others just frowned. Youngmin again raised his hand.

“But since it’s already summer and almost all the rest of the company are going, you’re free to go.” He continued.

----okay. that's all i can update. i'm so sorry! TT im so lazy. right. anyways. it's the start of vacation!!! i have so many pending stories to write. lol. see you next update. hehe.