Love Sweetest Revenge ;
Undecided Love ; [ONESHOT]
Youre sitting on a bench in school , waiting for your bestfriend , SeoAh , to finish her class . You feel lonely . And suddenly , big fat tears fell .
"_________ ?
...all too familiar .
"What do you want , ... Choi Minho ." you answered without turning back .
"hey, ...why are you crying ?"
His caring tone brought a downpour of memories .
You remembered when you were in a depression , and he was there . He was there to tell you that its alright , that everything is going to get better ; and you believed him . Sometimes , thats the only thing that you need ; somebody to tell you that its alright . You also remembered that day you went on an almost date that started off with you and your class , but ended up with you and Choi Minho taking the same bus home . It was heaven -the ride home . Since the bus was packed , he stood up while you sat . His chocolate abs was just beside your face and it took all your mental strength to not take a peak . Then he ruffled your short hair and when you looked up , he looked away , making it look like he wasnt the one who did it . You laughed -your first real one in a very long long time , and elbowed his washboard abs . He playfully clutched his stomach , making it look like it hurt so severely . For a second , ...you believed that it did . Until you saw the sides of his lips begging to form a smile and you elbowed him harder . This time it did hurt , you knew , but you ignored him . You rolled your eyes playfully when he laughed after recovering from the pain .
...everything was so goddamned sweet back then .
But then , you remembered what caused everything to end . Yes , its that note . That note that tells you that everything is over . everything -the sweet couple-like talks , the textes , the smiles you both exchange when you walk pass each other in the hallway .
What is it that you see in me that you even broke down , i'm no different from other guys , i'm just a normal . Do me a favour and stop crying for me , find someone better that doesn't always make you cry . -CMH
Everything .
You re-read that text over an over again that night you received it . And for the millionth time , your dam broke . You kept crying and crying . Your mind is filled with questions .
Unanswered questions . Answered questions that provoked more unanswered questions . You cant understand the world . Suddenly , the world becomes this alienated place that youre living in .
...you've even considered suicide .
But , ...you love yourself too much .
You wanted to hurt yourself , but you cant bear to pick up that razor or even slash yourself .
You wanted to cry , but your tears wont fall , because you convinced yourself that youre strong .
you realized that everything had become so goddamned ironic , so goddamned contradicting .
And you hated it .
"___________ ," Minho said again , ...but you chose not to speak .
A few seconds passed , you didnt realise the tears are still flowing until you tasted something saltish entering your mouth .
You roughly wiped the tears using the back of your hand , not wanting to appear weak to him . You heard him sigh and felt the heat emanating from his body as he sat down beside you on the bench . Both of you sat in silence , not knowing what to say , not knowing how to act . The situation is so awkward that the air around you felt like its been electrified . Your lungs felt like its going to burst and spill every ounce of blood in you .
You cant stand another second of it .
Grabbing all your stuffs , you stood up and wanted to make an exit out of the school . But before you could even take your second step , you felt him grab your left wrist lightly but firmly .
"________ , I'm sending you home ."
you remembered that he always send her home . The her that he loved , ..or loves , enough to pick her up from her school , which is miles from yours; and send her home . Even when hes down with high fever and headache .
Such a pabo -this Choi .
Feeling his hand still clasped around your wrist , your tears threatened to fall .
"Bull ." you spitted out before you roughly haul your wrist free and walked away quickly from him -the guy who broke your heart , ...and sent you into a depression you didnt want to have .
"_________ , wait for me . Please , __________ , ...please ."
the way he said the last word made you stop in your tracks .
He walked pass you and you felt him pulling your wrist , yet again .
"...lets go ."
You dont know how to stop him anymore ; the Choi Minho you know wont go back on his decision , ...ever .
~~~~~~~~~
The bus ride home was so awkward . He sat beside you while you stare at the passing vehicle through the window . He placed his hand on yours occasionally; you pull away for the first few times but left him to be when you realised that hes not gonna stop anyway . Sometimes , you can feel him staring at you , but you ignored him .
After what felt like eternity , the bus reached the stop you were supposed to stop at and Minho sent you till your front door .
Without saying anything , you unlock your gate and wanted to step into the house when Minho called your name . You just stood frozen there , waiting for whatever hes going to ask you .
"_________ , ...can you please dont be so cold towards me ? I'm getting Hypothermia right now ."
you let out a chuckle .
He dont know how many times you died when he left you .
"_________ , please . I ...love you now . Please ."
that shocked you for a second . Then , a sad smile spread across your face slowly . You never thought that this day would come .
"I've been wanting to ask you since , well , forever . If you didnt like me , why did you let me hope . If you didnt like me , why did you made me wait . If you didnt like me , why did you have to say those stupid sweet stuffs to me . If you dont like me , Choi Min Ho , why did you helped me up when i fell . It doesnt make any sense at all . Am i a toy to you ? Am i ? . It doesnt even matter . at the end of the day , shes still the one that you love and i'm that other girl who loved you . Its a stupid triangle , and i'm so sick of being in it . Maybe , i dont want to be that other girl anymore . You didnt want me before , then why now ? Why now when the scar is still bleeding , while the scar is stil hurting ? Do you know that i've thought about suicide ? Yes i did , Choi Minho . And it was all because of you . Do you know who saved me ? Nobody , except for someone called 'Me' . I've learnt that i can depend on no one but myself . No one , not even you Choi Minho ."
...that shocked the hell out of Minho . He didnt expect it at all .
...but , all these while , you've been holding everything in , you're so sick of it .
A/N : Aish , is this ish ? aigoo ~
Comments