“여보세요 (Yeoboseyo)?” 여보세요(Yeoboseyo)?”  Yun spoke into the phone, annoyed at the unknown number calling her.  She has been receiving these phone calls for the past couple of days.  She will answer but be greeted by heavy breathing.  Yun reached over to turn down the music that she blasting on high.  Heavy trance was pouring out of her speakers as she was getting lost in the beats before her phone started to ring.  After a few more seconds of no one responding on the other line, Yun was about to disconnect the call until a voice quietly came through.

“Yun?  Please don’t hang up and talk to me.  I made a huge mistake.  I’m sorry!  I need you….”

Yun stiffened at the sound of his voice.  Biting down on her bottom lip, biting it hard enough to bleed, she continued to remain silent.  The voice on the other line was a voice that she wasn’t strong enough to hear yet.  He was the love of her life and yet he just left her, like her father did to her mother.  Yun came from a broken home, forced to grow up at a very young age.  Working endless hours at multiple jobs, she struggled to help her mom make ends meet.  Her father had abandoned her and her mother when she was about 10 years old.  After a few years, when Yun was about 20 years old, her mother committed suicide.  She never healed from her broken heart, leaving Yun to be left alone in this cold world.  She swore that love was a curse and promised to never fall in love.  If love was this painful, she never wanted to give it a try.

Yun was working at a coffee shop, near her apartment when Jiyong stepped foot into her life, leaving a big imprint.  He was well dressed with leather pants, studded jacket and a white beater underneath.  His fingers, wrist and neck were dressed with chrome heart accessories.  He walked up to where she was at the cash register and ordered a double shot espresso and smiled shyly at her.  Right away, there was a sudden connection between them.  He started small talk wit her, asking her how her day was or how the weather was beautiful today.  Day after day, he came into the coffee shop around the same time to order the same drink.  Their small talks turned into full blown conversations and they started to get more comfortable around each other’s presence.  Yun looked forward to seeing him everyday; he was like her little sweet escape from the world.  When she stares at his facial features, she would get lost at the sharpness of his jaw line.  His eyes were like a portal, bringing her into pure bliss at the slightest contact.  He finally asked her out on a date and that one single date turned into a year long relationship.  Everything in her life was complete until about three weeks ago.

“Jiyong…I thought you don’t love me anymore.  Why are you calling me? Talk? Talk about what huh Jiyong?  There isn’t anything to talk about.”

“I’m sorry Jagiya.  Open the door Jagiya, I’m out side.”

The sudden knocks on her door, caused her heart to beat faster.  She hasn’t seen him in three weeks; she hasn’t heard his voice in three weeks and how he is showing up at her door.  She disconnected the call, slowly reaching for the door handle.  Before she can fully open the door, he pushed the door open, wrapping his arms around her waist.  He buries his face into her neck and takes in her scent.  His missed her so much; he missed her warmth, her touch and everything about her.

Yun pushes Jiyong off of her and takes a few steps backwards.  She refuses to fall under his spell.  How can he say that he loves her and miss her so much when it was he who left her?  Jiyong stood there, hurt because of her movement but knew that she has every right to move away.  He looks around the apartment, smiled because nothing has changed.  The only thing different was the music that she was playing.  He went over to the sofa and took a seat, never taking eyes off of her.  Yun stood by the wall, debating if she should sit down or continue to stand, not sure if she was comfortable enough to be near him again.  Just having him in the same room is causing her to have butterflies and the smell of his cologne is driving her crazy.

“Please sit by me.  I made a mistake.” said Jiyong as he slowly tugged at his hair.  She noticed that he had changed his hair color from the last time that she saw him.  It was no longer half black and pink, but black and white.  Before she knew it, her legs were moving towards the sofa and she nervously sat down.

“Not listening to those love songs anymore Jagiya?”  Jiyong said with a half smile.  Love songs were never heard playing through Yun speakers until Jiyong.  He exposed to her another world, a world filled with emotions, passion and pure happiness.

“Ne, I hate them love songs.  They are memento of your lies.  What do you want Jiyong?  If you are here to break my heart again, don’t even bother.  You already succeed at that on your first try.”

Jiyong’s eyes filled up with tears at her harsh words.  She was right, he did break her heart.  He made a mistake but he didn’t realize how big of a mistake it was until she was really gone.  Jiyong was getting stressed out at work and begin taking his anger out on her.  Feeling the pressure of his solo album and world tour, Jiyong felt like he needed a break.  A break from everything and a break from everyone!  He turns to face her, grabbing her hand to intertwine with his.  He noticed that she lost weight and there were dark circles around her eyes.  He knew he ed up and he knew he had to make it right.

“Every night it felt like rain was falling down on me. I bring you back from my memories and I promised myself I would be fine without you, but I can’t help it. I’ve been lost without you and I take in liquor which I don’t even know how to handle, trying to fill my empty heart. A day without you is too long and with every second that passed, I felt like I was living in hell.   I pray that I may please forget you but that is all a lie.  I’m sorry, I was foolish.  I felt the pressure and instead of dealing it with you, I took it out on you.  I said some hurtful things and I’m sorry.  I love you.  Without you happiness cannot be found in me. I can’t even shed tears anymore. I don’t want to live anymore.”

Yun stared into Jiyong’s eyes in hoping to find that he was lying but his eyes were telling the truth.  His beautiful brown eyes were sincere and she hated that she was slowly falling again.  He takes his hands and wiped away tears that were unknowingly falling down from her eyes.  She was still hurting from the scars that he gave her.  She was angry that he couldn’t trust her enough to talk with her about his stress instead he took it out on her.  She pushed his hands away from her face and held back in the tears that were building.  Jiyong searched her face for some type of an answer, scared that she won’t forgive him.  Jiyong kissed her hands before gently cupping her face.  He looked deeply into her eyes and like it was almost a whisper, he continued to apologize.

“I'm so sorry but I love you. Everything I said was all lies. I didn't know, but now I realized that I need you.  I’m so sorry that I gave you scars; I should have never let you go away because my life doesn’t feel right without you. Can you please forgive me?”

Yun can feel her heart dying all over again and to protect herself, she lets her anger rise to the top.  She wouldn’t survive another heart break from Jiyong, not when he is her world. “Yeah, this is bull, it’s pissing me off. I was going crazy in thoughts of you. I wanted to see you, but I told myself that I shouldn’t.  You told me that it was over and I had to accept it even if I didn’t want to.  I want to believe you Jiyong, I really do but I don’t know if I can.  How would I know that if this happens again in the future that you will share your pain with me and not just take it out on me?”  

“I ed up and I know that I did Jagiya.  I have a habit of calling for you and wondering where you are when you aren’t with me.  I’m gonna change, I’ll laugh everything off from now on. I’ll share my pain with you and we can handle it together.  I can’t forget you. No I don’t think I ever will, even ’til the day I die. I’m sorry because I never got to do anything for you.  Did the scars I gave you heal?”  

"The scars you left me were cut deeper than a knife.  You left me by myself, without even seeing my pain.  I was like a loner left in the midst of it all.  In my pocket, I carry the breakup letter that you wrote me.  It is wrinkled and folded, but it reminds me of this bull.  I feel so stupid because after I met you, I started to believe in love.  I actually believed that you were perfect for me but only to finding out that I was wrong.  You proved to me that there is no such thing as a perfect.  Like my father, you walked out of my life only to leave me a letter.  I love you is nothing but an 8 letter word like bull.  You walked out on me, so don’t run back to me!”  Yun stopped speaking as she just realized what she said.  She can see the hurt on Jiyong’s face as her words pierced through his soul, killing him right on the spot.  She can feel her scars reopening like a fresh wound and the blood gushing out from her chest.  No longer able to hold back the tears that were almost pouring out, she let her tears fall helplessly to the ground.  She stood up from the sofa, walking towards the window, leaving a shatter Jiyong to sit alone.
 

Jiyong’s world just crashed right before his eyes.  The pieces were falling and he couldn’t catch a single one.  The tears rolling down Yun face was like knives stabbing his heart.  Her words were cold, a cold tone that he has never heard her used before.  Jiyong removed his hands from covering his face and made his way towards the door.  He has lost.  The love of his life no longer loved him. He had hurt her too much!  How stupid could he be?  He had the most perfect girl in the world and he let her get away because he didn’t know how to deal with the pressure and stress of his career.  Not wanting her to see the tears falls down his face, he numbly opened the door, only to turn back to stare at her one last time.  He can see his jagiya quietly sobbing as she clenches onto her heart.  As he took one step out of the door, he hears her voice calling out to him.

“I hate you Jiyong.  You knew my story and you knew how much I despised love and yet you made me fall in love with you.  I hate you for making me love you so much. I hate you for making me feel like there is no one else out there better for me than you.  I hate you for having so much control over me that when I am not around you, I can’t breathe.  I hate you, but I’m still deeply in love with you.”

Without saying a word, Jiyong runs towards Yun, pulling her into a tight embrace.  He places kisses all over her cheeks, forehead and neck while picking her up and spinning her around.  He gently places her back on her feet and crushed his soft lips onto hers.  Without ever breaking a movement, she wraps her arms around his neck while he pulls her in closer to fill in the gap between their bodies.  Their body is signaling them, letting them know that they need air but neither one of them breaks from the passionate kiss.  Jiyong finally moves his lips, letting his love take in oxygen she needs before he continued to show her how much he loves her.  He picks Yun up bridal style, causing her to giggle as he carries her to the bedroom.  He places kisses along her jaw line down to her neck and back up to her ears while carefully opening the door.

“I love you Jagiya.  It will always be forever with you….” He whispers to her as he slowly kicks the bedroom door close.