Amber’s PoV

Here we are, sitting across each other in this café, a place that used to be our favorite dating spot, but a different seat, because usually, we will sit next to each other, reluctant to even separated by inch..

Usually we always had a lot, to talked about..

Now, not me, nor you, dare to say anything, except for a simply greeting exchange like

“Hi..” and it was a half and an hour ago..

Other than that, we are engulfed by this suffocating silence between us, even though our surroundings isn’t..

When did we become like this?

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s PoV

Flashback

1 New Message

From: Stupid Llama <3

I’m sorry to bother you, but can we meet today? There’s something I want to talk about, if its not a troublesome for you, I’ll be waiting at the usual café around lunch time

Sigh..

I guess, this is it..?

1 New Message

From: Stupid Llama <3

Be careful, the traffic is pretty crowded today.

Don’t let yourself too tired

1 New Message

From: Stupid Llama <3

I’ll be waiting..

Thanks Krys..

How I wish, we shouldn’t have to get through this Amber..

End of Flashback

End of Krystal’s PoV

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Amber’s PoV

Another day, with another fight, another argument, another shouting surely will make every couple grew tired of each other, and I guess that happens to us too..

Everything, just feel out of place the longer time we spent with each other, and I can’t pick up which one that starts this..

All I know is that we’ve changed..

At least I feel that she has changed, and in one of arguments, she said I did too, so I guess we both does changed..

Is it a good changes?

I guess yes?

We graduate from college, we start our own career and it runs pretty well.

We could rent a bigger apartment, we moved in together, hoping that it will make us more closer to each other, so we could spend more time together, so that ‘busy’ would never become the reasons why we couldn’t meet each other at least for one day.

We’ll sleep beside each other, we’ll woke up beside each other, and we did..

Its just with a different feel..

Work took most of our time..

Our personal dream, hides OUR dream perfectly..

Us, no longer become we..

Its back to you and me.

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s PoV

Flashback

“I told you he’s trying to flirt on you and I must be a ed up crazy if I let anyone flirt on MY girl, especially when it happens RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” it was the night of our first big fight..

“He was being friendly! He was introducing me to our potential clients! He is one of my boss!” we just came home from one of my office party, charity party, and Amber accompanying me..

It was supposed to be a good night for us, it’s the first time after long that we could finally go out somewhere together, because usually, she’ll come home late, or I do, and if we weren’t late, we’ll just spent the night eating dinner silently, randomly watching tv and sleep, or back to work on our own files that we brought home, and that’s it..

“Oh so touching you means it’s a friendly gesture for you?! What other FRIENDLY thing does this so called BOSS of you did behind your office wall?! Kiss you?! YOU?!” and I slapped her, for the very first time that night..

Its too much for me..

Just too much..

And things never be the same anymore after that night

End of Flashback

End of Krystal’s PoV

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Amber’s PoV

I admit, that I made mistakes, foolish mistake, I could say..

Stress from work, had gone into me, things I faced at work with my demanding boss, ignorant clients, incapable employees under my supervision and approaching deadlines really bothered my mind..

To make it worst, the one I hope can help me get through all of this, had the same problem with me..

We never had time for each other anymore, even for a random chat before sleep..

Sometime I went home late, and she’s already asleep, sometime she did, and I already asleep, and when we were at home on the same time, it feels, awkward..

I missed her..

I want to hug her so bad..

Feeling her near me, wanting her to need me..

But it seems like she’s comfortable with herself..

It feels like she doesn’t feel the same need for each other anymore, like I still do..

It feels like we are strangers now, or I am a stranger for her..

And that night came, when I land my punch on one of his boss in her office charity party, because I saw him trying to take an advantage touching her with a wrong way..

We went home, argued and she slapped me..

Things never be the same anymore between us..

We tried to fix things, of course..

But it only get worse, because everything has changed..

We grew far from each other..

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s PoV

Her accusation towards me and my boss, is not the thing that made me gave up on us..

Yes it hurt to know that someone you trusted much, didn’t do the same towards you..

But seeing someone you trusted much, betrayed your trust in front of you..

Hurts double..

That night was different..

No arguments..

No one shouting..

And no, I don’t want to slap her for the second time, because doing the first time, already shattered the half of me..

We just sat quietly, much more like today, but with different thoughts, maybe..

“I’m sorry..” she finally said something that night..

I didn’t know what to say or how to respond..

“I was drunk.. And I know I’m not supposed to, but I did and I’m not proud of what I did after that..”

The image of her kissing another girl with so much passion like the way she used to kiss me, touching her the way she touched me, hearing them calling each other name, run through my mind..

Yes, I am hurt..

Yes, I am disappointed..

Yes, it broke my heart..

And yes..

I lost my trust on her, and on our relationship..

Flashback

“Did you enjoy it?” it caught her off guard

“She’s that girl from your office right?” she didn’t respond

I’m angry, but I tried to stay calm, as possible, though her silence hurt me more..

“How long have this happened?”

“A week..” she answered faintly “But its not like the way you think Krys..”

“What exactly am I thinking right now Amber?” I lost my cool “What am I supposed to think when I found My girlfriend ING someone else, on a bed I shared with my ING girlfriend, in my ING bedroom?! YOU!”

“Krys, its not like the way you think!”

“Then what should I think?! You are giving her a ING massage?! Or maybe, you two were having an intimate discussion about ING work?!”

“KRYSTAL! I’M NOT ING HER!”

“YOU WERE ON TOP OF HER! HER ING T**S! AND YOU ARE ING HER AMBER! WHAT THE WE SHOULD CALL THAT?! A ING DEACENT CHATTING BETWEEN TWO ING FRIENDS?!”

“IT WAS A MISTAKE! Okay?! I thought she’s you..”

It hurt me double with the way she put a reasons for what she did,

“SHE’S ING BLONDE Amber, and I never had a blonde ing hair!”

“Fine! Okay I admit it! I ed her! But I did it while I’m thinking about you! Its because I missed you! It was our 4^th year anniversary and I want to make it special, I bought a ticket for us to Jeju to have a vacation and where were you?! You choose to go with your ing boss!”

“Its my job for God forsaken Amber! And I’m trying to finish things faster there so I could go home earlier than everyone else, so we could celebrate our anniversary, it meant to be a surprise for you!”

“With him taking you home back to Seoul and to our apartment?!”

“He’s going to celebrate his friend’s bachelor party, and he offered to drop me home! He even wished the surprise would work and what do we know, I AM surprised, thanks to you!”

End of Flashback

It hurt me to realize that things between us would never ever be the same anymore..

We lost our trust with each other..

I lost her..

She lost me..

We lost our love..

Flashback

“Fine..” she sighed, sat down, fixed her eyes on the ground “Now what do you want from me Krys? Yes, I’m wrong, and I don’t know what else to say but sorry..”

We look at each other eyes..

I’m looking for everything I used to feel whenever I look through her eyes..

I’m looking for the comfort feeling she could always gave me only by being near her..

I’m looking for the safety feeling she could always give me through the look of her eyes..

I’m looking for the confidence and strength I could always gain whenever I feel insecure, scared and weak only by imagining her smile..

I’m looking for that feeling of being complete, whenever I’m thinking about us..

I’m looking for the love that used to be there, in her eyes, for me..

I couldn’t find it..

Whether its gone..

Or I refused to see and feel it anymore..

Or maybe, I’m just simply tired, of all of this..

I looked at her, the one I fought over so much, even though it had to cost my relationship with my parents..

I took my bag, and never look back..

End of Flashback

End of Krystal’s PoV

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Amber’s PoV

This is the first time we meet each other after that night..

That night..

I will never could forget the way she looked at me..

From that moment I know, that I’m a fool, I made mistakes, I did something I vowed myself not to ever do..

I hurt her, disappoint her, cheated on her..

I didn’t intent to, but eventually, I did..

And when she walked out the door, I knew that I just blew any chance I might got to fix anything broken in our relationship..

I’ve been contemplating..

I’ve been thinking..

And I’ve been wondering much about us ever since that night..

What we’ve been through..

Our good times..

Our bad times..

Those days when we were struggling to be accepted by her family..

Which ironically never came true..

To the days she’s willing to leave her family house just to come and live with me..

I realized..

She has done a lot for me, and I have done nothing for her..

Looking at her after a month, I couldn’t not to notice how much she becomes more beautiful each and every day..

I miss her..

Miss her so much..

But, I realized, I have no more rights to keep her with me..

She deserves someone else, someone better, someone who is not me..

“I’m sorry.. For everything..”

Someone who can love her better..

“I’m sorry.. That I’m not strong enough..”

Someone who can take care of her better..

“I’m sorry.. That I’m not patient enough..”

Someone who can gives her more comfort..

“I’m sorry.. That I hurt you with my own insecurities..”

Someone who can give her more confident..

“I’m sorry.. That I am.. Perfectly beat by my own selfishness..”

Someone who is not pathetic, like me..

“I’m sorry.. For every sadness, pain and tears, I’ve cost you, from the day we know each other, up until..”

Do I still have my worth in your eyes?

“I’m sorry..”

End of Amber’s PoV

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Krystal’s Pov

So she made her decisions..

She wants this..

She wants no more us..

Isn’t this the best for both of us?

Isn’t this what I wanted?

To make things between us clear?

To know what is our current status clearly?

To break free?

Not to prolonged the whole pain and suffers I felt ever since this whole situation between us started?

She looks skinnier than the last time I saw her..

She looks tired..

She looks..

End of Krystal’s PoV

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“Lets end this misery..” Amber faintly said with one breathe, not dare enough to meet Krystal’s stares..

Silence took their time momentarily

“If that’s what you want, then I guess, it would be the best for both of us..” Krystal said firmly..

“It will” Amber said, still not looking at Krystal’s “It will..”

Both of them have the same question at this point, ‘Will it?’

But decisions, have been made, the sin has been conducted..

Now its time for them, to face the consequences to walk on the on the path they have chosen..

Separated ways..

--

Today, two hearts has been broken deep.

Who’s there to blame?

Love?

Love never promised us smooth journey and good endings.

Love never cursed us with so much pain and endless sufferings.

Love never taught us to be so much insecure..

We did..

When we have what we want, it doesn’t mean the struggles will end there.

Usually, when we want something, there are so many obstacles ready to toss and turn us around.

It’s a test for us, to know how much we worth and how much it worth.

Once when we get what we want, the obstacles do not stopped there.

Its doubling..

It becomes our decision, to double up the struggles, being constant and lost it in the end, or giving up and give it away..

This two, decide to give up.

Amber thought she lost her chance.

Only if she dare to look at Krystal’s eyes, she would know that Krystal wants to be convinced once again..

But she didn’t, because she chose to gave up..

Krystal wants to see an effort.

She hoped Amber wants to fight as much as she was and still willing to fight for them.

But she didn’t see it.

She thought Amber is already giving up, then so does she..

They both agree, to take separates way

To be separated..

They bid each other goodbye.

They shake hands..

Starting it good, ending it good people said..

Is it, for them?

Amber left the café first, using ‘a meeting’ as an excuse.

Krystal chose to stay, using ‘waiting for her friend to pick her up’ as an excuse.

They part ways..

Its really is the end for them..

--

Amber got into a silver sedan that waits for her in front of the café, not looking back to where she left her heart, to the one she gave her heart.

As soon as she entered, the car starts running, leaving the café until its nowhere on her sight.

No one said a word, not Amber, or her friend who sits behind the steering wheel.

“We are far enough from the café M” the guy who drove the car said “Its safe for you to let it go now”

Amber gave no responds, just blankly looking outside of the car window.

He stretched his arm reaching something on the car back seat.

It’s a tissue box.

He puts it on her lap, say nothing and keep driving.

“Thanks Key” Her voice cracked.

Slowly she took one.

Slowly a single tear fell.

Slowly she cried.

--

Krystal saw Amber entering a silver car she knows belongs to Key then drove away fast, leaving the streets.

Everything seems vague for her right now.

Slowly she tried to put everything on right pieces.

Amber just called their relationship off.

She agreed.

They broke up.

“Excuse me miss, are you ready to order?” A waiter suddenly show up, she just look at him blankly.

“Later, thank you” A voice came from someone behind him.

A voice that came from someone she needs so bad right now.

That personal smiled at her, rather an apologetic smile actually.

She looked at that person, and everything starts to look a lot clearer than before.

“Hey baby sis..” Jessica said softly..

And Krystal broke down..

Jessica hugged her tight “There there little Jungie, everything is going to be fine now..”

--

At that moment, when they both realized that now they have took a separated ways, all they have in mind, is one last chance, to utter that three word they been longed to say.

“I love you”

But in reality, the words they did say was “Goodbye..”

And ‘Separated by Usher’ in the café music playlist, accompany their farewell..

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You'll do well and I'll be fine

'Cuz we're better off, so much better off

So much better off

Separated

I'm sorry we didn't make it

 

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