Chapter Nine

It has been three weeks exactly since she had the miscarriage. It has been three weeks since she was in the YG building. It has been three weeks as well since she last uttered a word to anyone in the YG family. And it was also the same time since she last spoke with him.

He was getting worried as he did not have any information on where she was now. All he knew was that she asked the president for a vacation. He was in Singapore at that time, performing his heart out for the fans, but never knew that she would go away at that time. No one from their company knew where she was, not even the girls and not even her own family. He tried to ask her younger siblings but Durami would not yield to him. The gentle Sanghyun that he knew glared at him as the younger guy controlled himself from punching him, he could not blame him. He promised that he will never hurt but he did, unknowingly.

He opened up another canned beer and sipped it in as his eyes wandered around his room. Remnants of her are all over the place. The couch that she had always tended to fall asleep when she was waiting for him was there. The closet that she always rummaged for her own use and made Seungri jealous because he allowed it. In fact, he even pushed her to do so.

She even had made a corner in his room for her beloved Dadoong, her younger brother’s cat, though he is clearly not a cat person. But heck, he doesn’t care because he knew how much she likes the cat. After all, it’s something he can do in return of her effort to get over her fear of pets so she can be closer to his baby, Gaho.

Why does he need to be reminded of her at times like this? He was about to take another sipped when the opened canned beer was snatch from his hands, casually spilling some contents to his shirt and floor. He quickly tried to wipe it off even if he knew that he would not be able to remove it.

“Jiyong, stop this.” He heard the familiar voice of his best buddy, Youngbae, and his jaws tightened.

“What to stop Youngbae?” He hissed as he tried to snatch back the beverage.

“This.” Youngbae answered as he spilled the remaining content of the can to the sink.

He let out a deep sigh as he gave up arguing with him. It had been a ritual for the two of them to argue here and there ever since she had gone away. Youngbae was the only one who has the courage to scold him and challenge him in this state.

“Everything has stopped for me…” He admitted as he threw his body to the couch, leaning his back to the velvety touch of the backrest. He looked up and closed his eyes as he continued, “Nothing seems to mean anything anymore… The fame, the fans, not even the money… nothing seems to matter, Youngbae…”

“You should pull yourself together.” Youngbae simply stated. He was lost on how to comfort his friend. He doesn’t know what it feels like to lose a child and even more so, to see the person you love the most to distance herself away from you. And if life isn’t cruel enough, it happened at the same time.

“How?” He asked as his mind flashed an image of her at the hospital, cold and empty eyes. It was what he remembered the night he last saw her. Her expression is something that continues to haunt him. The very same thing he can see whenever he closes his eyes. The warm eyes that he loves about her were empty and dead. No trace of any emotions can be found in her face. Everything seems to go downhill from there.

The memory of that night where they had their talk kept on playing in his mind, haunting him even in his dreams. That night, he was so enraged at the fact that she lied to him about her condition and losing the baby has added to it. He hurled hurtful words at her without even thinking about how she feels that night. He wasn’t the one who carried the baby and it wasn’t him that has experienced how to have another life inside you. He did not think of that at that time. He just blurted out things at her and said things that he can never took back.

And he remembered on how she uttered a few words that night.

“I understand… And I’m sorry.”

Those were the only words she had said that night and the last that he can remember. After that, he stormed away from the room and never visited her back. He went back to the studio and let himself be buried with work. Sanghyun and Durami were pleading for him to visit her but he was too stubborn, too proud, as he ignored their case.

Then he and the group have to go to Singapore for a one night concert and when he returned, she was already gone. No one can tell where she was and all of them did not have the slightest idea that she would leave.

“Jiyong.” Youngbae said as he brought him back to the present time. “I’m sure she was somewhere and she must have been waiting for you come and get her.”

“But where?” He asked and hoped that his friend knew.

“I’m sorry, Ji. I don’t know.” Youngbae apologized.

He sighed as he opened his eyes and looked at the framed portrait of them hanging on the wall.

“I miss you…” He whispered as he stared at her portrait’s smiling face. “I miss you…”

She was shocked when she found out that night that her best friend had a miscarriage. She did not even know that she was pregnant and she never noticed it. There are symptoms that show she was in a certain condition but she never put in an effort to find it out. Almost all of the staffs were taken aback at what happened and were distressed about it. The person that was most affected, excluding Jiyong, was their youngest, Minzy.

She doesn’t know how to comfort the younger girl as she herself was in turmoil. Their group activities were halted as Dara secluded herself and their so called leader stayed at her father’s. The sadness is slowly taking its toll on her as she decided to see her boyfriend. Perhaps, Seunghyun will be able to take her mind off things.

She carefully walked towards the recording studio where in he was currently recording. The door was slightly opened as she saw Youngbae and Seunghyun facing one another. She was about to announce her presence when she heard bits and pieces of their conversation.

“I think… I’m one of the reasons why she was stressed…” Seunghyun said.

“Hmm…?” Youngbae mumbled as he stared at the older guy. “What made you say that?”

“She discovered that I was seeing Min Ah behind her friend’s back… She confronted me and I was so enraged and blinded by it… Then told her that it was not only me who was lying… and making her believed that Jiyong…. Was being unfaithful…” Seunghyun confessed.

She bit her lower lip at the what she heard and at the same time she heard her heart breaking into a million pieces. Not only does it hurt to overhear your boyfriend telling someone else that he was cheating but it also hurts that even with her friend’s condition, Dara was still protecting her. Her heart was crying inside as the pain numb everything inside. She held back her tears as she opened the door widely and barged inside the recording room, striding in big steps towards Seunghyun.

With all her strength, her palm landed on the face of the man she loved. The sound of a slap reverberated throughout the room as her eyes squinted and glared at him.

“I may forgive you for going behind my back. I can accept that but being the cause of her pain… Adding more stress to her and leading her to lose her baby… That I cannot forgive you.” She said, her whole body was trembling. “For such a beautiful face, you’re a despicable man, Seunghyun.”

“Are you—“ Seunghyun was about to ask when she cut him and said, “Yes, we’re finished. You can now be with your beloved Shi Min Ah. Goodbye.”

She said as she turned her back and bravely walked out of the door, walking out of his life forever and leaving with a broken heart to heal.

It hurts but at least, she saved a little of herself. Dara would be proud of her and she found herself wishing that she was here with her so they can put their strength together to deal with everything.

“Dara…” She whispered.