I can’t believe I am doing it. I couldn’t believe it when I said my goodbyes at the airport and now I still can’t believe I am in Canada, in my Cousin Kris's apartment. I can’t believe I just left my whole life behind like that!

"Here is your tea" he said as he gently placed it in my hand.

"Thanks". He nods and sits across from me watching me from head to toe. “What?" I asked him. Feeling insecure under his gaze.

" Nothing... just wondering what could have made you lose your beautiful smile" he replied.

" My smile was never beautiful, hyung. I am feeling a bit tired. Where do I sleep?" I asked him. He pointed  at one door to my right, I stood up and walked into the room that I was going to spend the rest of my life in.

Month two.

"Get up you lazy bum!!" Kris yells at me. I ignore him and pull the covers over my head.

"Kyungie, I know I promised I will give you your space but that was two months ago and I feel like I am losing you by the second. You have been in the hospital for more than five times this month. You are losing weight and you hardly speak to anyone... You don’t go out and I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone" his voice strong and filled with concern.

"I am fine" i whispere, my voice so faint and raspy that it surprises me.

 "Okay than I think you should go back home then"

"NO! I can’t go back there!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, how dare he say that? I won’t survive if I go back there. The pain is too much. "I can’t go" I whisper yelled as tears started to flow.

“I won’t send you back home, but you have to open up to me kyungsoo. I can’t help you if I don’t know what is wrong. I can’t protect you when I don’t know what is haunting you, so please talk to me" Kris begged.

His plea only trigged my endless pool of tears. Crying seems to be the only thing I do now a days. I wake up crying and I go to sleep crying. Crying has now become a daily routine in my life; to not cry seemed unnatural and surreal.

 Kris pulled me in his embrace as his pats my back gently whilst I cry in his chest. After what seems like hours of crying, I was finally able to stop.

"Are you feeling a bit better?" he asked. "Yes,do you want me to tell you why I came here now or later?" I asked keeping my emotions in check.

 "Now please. I am all ears"

"Where to start....."

Fourth month.

Two more months has passed since I told Kris my reason for coming. He was angry at me for hanging with ‘such people’ his words not mine! But he meant people richer than me. It’s true though, when I first met them I myself was doubtful of their actions but as we spent more time together I realize they weren’t that spoiled or greedy... but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t greedy and cruel once in a while.

The true reason I didn't want to tell him, was beacuse I was afraid of jugement. I was afraid of his jugement.I was scared he might find me repulsive cowardly and weak. I thought he would never speak to me again and blame me for breaking my friends up.

And mostly, I didn't want him to reject me. He is the only person I could confide in and if he was to leave me in my time of need then I would have most definitely have lost it.

Kris has been helping me with the whole depression thing, since he is studying to becoming a doctor he knows a few things about my condition.

Yep! My own cousin is using me as a test subject, but I don't mind. It is actually fun working with him. At times I felt like we were little kids again and where playing doctor. As for my health statues, I am gaining back half of the weight I lost and I am going out more.

Sixth Month.

Kris thought it would be a great idea for me to get my emotions out.... through writing..

I KNOW RIGHT!!! I seriously don’t know one thing about writing.

"Come on Kyungsoo~Just try it once! You never know what could happen"

 "Fine, but I don’t know where to start" I say, completely defeated. 

 "How about poetry?" 

 "I do like poems"

 "Then here is the guide books. Go start writing" he ordered, shufling me into my room as he  placed a stack of books in my hand.

 Why do i feel like this is not going to end well....

Ninth Month.

Kris being a jerk, signed me up for a freaking poetry competition!!!!.. And I am going on stage next to read my freaking poem to a bunch of people!! Wish me luck!!!

I can’t believe it! I won! OH MY GOSH!! I freaking won the competition!!

"I told you, you would win!" Kris said to me with a bright smile. "I am still mad at you though" i inform him in a frim tone but of cousre my voice had to betray me.

"But you love me" 

 "From what I see I am not the only one" I said to him. It’s true though. Where ever we went he suddenly had 'fans'.

"But the one I have my eyes one tonight is the one with black hair standing by the window" he said with a smirk. “Go get 'em tiger!" I said, pushing him towards the mysterious guy by the window.

The moment he left I was surrounded by a bunch of people congratulating me. I don’t mean to be rude but these people need to leave me alone!! They are ing killing me with questions! Don’t they understand personal space?

"Babe! Congratulations!" I heard a small voice say.  I looked around until my eyes landed on a young man at least my age. He dressed in tight black skinny jeans with a red and blue plaid shirt. His eyes sonly on me as he spoke. "Sorry I was late~ the car broke down but I made it in time to hear you reading the last part, it’s beautiful" he said as he made his way to me.

"Sorry guys but can I speak to my partner alone?" he asked with an angelic voice that no one could ever say no to. "Oh, sure!" they said as the started to leave. He immediately pulled me outside.

"Gosh! Those people are freaking annoying!" he says in Korean. “Wait. Are you Korean?"

"Yes, full  Korean and proud" he says with a prideful smile. "Oh..I’m sorry but I think you got the wrong person.... you know the whole babe thing" I told him.

 "Oh that! I know that. I was just trying to save you" he said smiling "Oh! Thank you"

 “You’re welcome. My name is Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun. Nice to meet you"

 "Oh. My name is DO Kyungsoo, nice meeting you too" .

 Turns out that Baekhyun knew Tao, the dude Kris is hitting on. Together we went out to dinner. It’s is a nice to be around people that understand us. Baekhyun and I went on and spoke in our language whilst Tao and Kris exchanged a few words in both Korean and mandarin. It’s is kinda funny watching Kris trying to get the ever so shy Tao to speak up.

This is going to be one a start of one beautiful friendship.

 First Year. 

12 months has passed since I came here. Tao and Baekhyun are coming to spend Christmas and New years with us.

 I am happy to see them again, over the past months we all had gotten very close, especially Tao and Kris, since those two are dating and stuff. I know! shocker right?

One second Tao hates Kris with all his guts and the next  second Baekhyun and I walk in on them  half on the kitchen table and both of them... well Tao a mess, telling Kris to stop teasing and get on to making him scream until he loses his voice.

The memory of it all is both shocking and traumatizing. Baekhyun on the other hand filmed the whole thing on his phone and uses it to blackmail them. So far Beak has gotton them to buy him a Laptop, a new cell phone and a ticket for a cruise that Tao and Kris have been dying to go on.

 I,on the other hand let them be, since Tao has to go back home to do his modeling job while Kris was here trying to finish med school.

 Thinking about it, this is going to be the first Christmas and New year’s I spent without Suho or Kai.

Second Year.

Two years has passed and still no word from Suho or Kai. Mother said Kai and Suho went away but she had no idea where they went.

As for me, I have become a writer and Baekhyun as my crazy Manger. It all started with writing short stories for Tao and Kris to read, they are huge Fanfic lovers.

Somehow Baekhyun got a hold on one and submitted it to a publishing company, the next thing I knew was that, I signed a contract to write about 6 books and Baekhyun as my manager.  About three of my books were already published and were and still are the best sellers.

For some crazy reason Baekhyun also got me into screen writing. So on top of being a secret  book writer, I am also writing screen plays for movies and shows which were also hits.

Apart from my family, Kris, Baekhyun, and Tao. No one knew I am the world renowned faceless writer, K.S.K.

And apart from me, no one knew what K.S.K meant and I loved it that way. I wonder if they knew what it meant.

Third Year.

Another year has passed by and I am writing my last book before I go on a break. After begging Kris and Baekhyun for the millionth time, they finally agreed to me opening a small cafe to keep my mind off things. They hoped the café wouldn’t be a hit but it was actually very popular than I thought it would be. Being in the cafe was fun and exciting.

Nothing  ever  the same in the cafe, there is always something different. But what I love the most is watching people’s reaction when they were reading my books or when they watched my movies or shows. I loved hearing their opinions, it always gave me good ideas and I always learn something new that I didn’t notice when I wrote the book.

Baekhyun is now my eyes and ears in the outside world. Living freely has become a problem.We even had to move from where Kris and i lived because they had come really close to finding out that I am K.S.K. Some were getting suspicious of Tao and Kris's relationship also. Over the years, he had gone from underground model to top most wanted actor/model. I don’t blame them, Tao is just really good at what he did. I really want to write a movie or play  for him one day, but I know that time isn’t here yet.

As for him and Kris, they are living together now; Kris sometimes goes to Korea to visit him when he gets his vacation days. Kris has become one of the most respected Doctors around the world. But he really didn’t care for that, he only has one person on his mind and that person is Tao.

And then we have Baekhyun who was busier than Santa clause. But the funny thing is that, no one knew what he was doing. But somehow he found time to be just Baekhyun, my best friend. Many people actually thought we were a couple due to the fact that we are really close.

Fourth year.

“What do you mean by you're getting married? Since when were you dating anyone?" I asked her in shock. "We have been dating for the past few years and I might be getting married in the next few months" mother said to me. Years?  And where was I?

"Am I not your child anymore or something? How come I never knew you had a man in your life for the past few years and just how many few years are you talking about."

"Four years and yes you are still my son"

"Really? Because I don’t think I am any more. Four freaking years!!! I called you every day and you never thought ‘oh why don’t tell my son that I am dating some one?" I yelled at her.

"Sorry, it’s just that we weren’t sure, I wanted to be sure his was the one before I brought this to you and plus things were going good for you and I didn’t want to distract you" she plea to me.

"Does his family know?" i asked rubbing my temples in frustration.

"He has a son and yes he told him today, we were planning on having a family meeting before the wedding. So when I heard you say you wanted to move the cafe here I thought it would be a good way of telling you"

"I am not going to stay there, I am just coming to see how things in the cafe are going and then I was coming back here. I can’t leave Kris here alone."

"Yes you can, because I just got a job transferee in Korea. I would be leaving next week, same day as you will be going" Kris said as he stepped into the room.

"Since when did you want a transferee?" I asked

"Since forever!"

"How come I didn’t know? Is this year don’t tell Kyungsoo year?" I yelled at him.

"It was suppose to be a surprise for you and Tao" he explained

"So are you coming?" mother said. "I don’t know, can we talk later"

"Okay" she tells me before I hung up the phone and went back to Kris.

"So what are we going to do now?"

"I all ready got you a place in Korea and Baekhyun is handling the other things, so all you have to do is pack your stuff  and you're good. The Cafe is ready to be opened. As for your mom, I have no idea why she did that, I suggest sitting and having a heart to heart with her." he said to me.

"I know... Do you think I am ready?"

"No one is ever really fully ready. But that’s why you have us. We are here to catch you once you fall" he said as he pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you, for everything" I whispered. "You are welcome; now let’s go pack for our move"

"I guess so, off to Korea then"

"Now that’s the sprit!"

D-DAY

I felt just the same as when I left home but coming back was even scaryer than leaving it. I hope everything goes the way I want it to go this time........

Finally done with the past, now the drama starts!!

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