***

마음이 약해져서 다시 널 잡기 전에
My heart has become weak, before I can be with you again

눈물 흘릴 날 보지 않게 돌아보지 말고가
So that you won't see me while my tears come out, please don't look back and just go

090403***DongHae***

Biting his nails, Lee DongHae restlessly waits at the busy bus station. His uneasy eyes nervously following random movement of the faceless and nameless person around him. Adjusting his checkered shawl around his neck a bit, he rubbed his hands together, trying to produce some heat against the cold autumn’s breezes.

A bus stopped in front of him. DongHae read the sign and hopped into that relatively empty bus. DongHae throw a glance towards his wristwatch. 11.30 p.m., this is the last trip for tonight, no wonder there’s not a lot of people in the bus right now.

DongHae scanned the bus for a while, than he spotted his target. A small genuine smile formed at his handsome face. His feet automatically make their way towards the said target.

At the far most sit in the bus, at his usual spot, a boy, merely in his eighteen, with hair so blonde it almost looks platinum, sat. Full pink lips pouted in concentrations, as agile fingers busy pressing PSP’s buttons. Head bobbed following the rhythm, mutely played in his earpieces.

Flopping heavily to the sit, DongHae’s smile grew wider as his target turned to his direction and flashed a wide gummy smile to him. A smile; that he unexplainable addicted too.

DongHae draped his long arm casually on the back of the sit, reaching for his target right earphone and placed it to his right ear instead.

No word passed between them. They shared the music in silence, two heads bobbed slowly according to the love song played in their ears. Feeling content just by being there, DongHae closed his weary eyes and rested his already exhausted head on the latter’s shoulder.

Not affected by the bold movement due to repeated experience, the blonde-haired person doesn’t even flinch a bit. He just continued playing his game with zipped lips.

***

마지막 인살 내게 건네기 전에
Before saying your last farewell to me

아주 잠깐만 멈춰서 날 보며 웃어줘
Please stop for just a moment and look at me while smiling

110402***DongHae***

As his bottom touched the bus-sit, a light punch landed on his right shoulder.

“Och! That’s hurt.” DongHae whined loudly, exaggerating, while rubbing the pain off his shoulder.

“Hey, where have you been? At what time you get back? Why weren’t you on the usual bus?”

The blonde puffed his cheeks, whined and stomped his feet like a spoiled five years old kid.

Smiling wide at his friend antics, looking more mature yet more beautiful from he already is, DongHae unable stop himself from wondering, how fast two years had passed. He hugs HyukJae, non-verbally apologizing to him. He threw his best puppy eyes to the man, that he knew the other’s won’t have a chance against it.

“Mianhe, I have some urgency to attend too, I forgot to tell you yesterday.”

Still not affected, the man spat back,

“Lee DongHae, there’s a device called hand phone nowadays, you can just send me a message or drop a call, instead of making me worried over you. I called, but your phone was off”

Still smiling, “So, somebody is missing me ne?.”

DongHae playfully poked his best friend’s arms. The blonde crossed his arms on his chest and looked away. Ignoring and resisting DongHae’s cute attack. He bits his lips, trying to look firm, but failed miserably as DongHae found his angry friend looked so adorable like this.

DongHae resisted the urge to kiss his friend and contented with just hugging him tightly instead. He whispered at his friend’s ear,

“If you still didn’t want to forgive me now, I’ll kiss you hard on your lips, on this bus, in front of these people. Do you want me to do that, hem?”

Eyes widen at the threat, the blonde turned to DongHae and shrugged himself out of DongHae’s cage. He pouted more and lightly slapped DongHae arms. He pushed DongHae away from him.

“Aish, I forgave you Lee DongHae and don’t you ever think of doing that. I have a boyfriend ok.”

A sharp knife pierced accurately to DongHae’s heart.

DongHae forced a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His heart that he thought already frozen panged hurtfully at the last words. He swallowed hard, trying to ease his suddenly dried throat. He dropped his arms to his side and looked away.

“Yeah, you have one, but you love me more than you love him.” DongHae muttered under his breath.

Worried at his friend sudden gloomy attitude, the blonde wrapped his arms around DongHae’s neck and kissed his cheek.

The blonde placed his hands at both side of DongHae’s face and forcefully turned his head facing him. Black eyes pierced deeply into DongHae’s brown ones.

“There, I kissed you, I forgave you, and I love you. Stop pouting like a small kid now. You supposed to comfort me, not the other way around. I am the one who had been left alone on the bus yesterday. I need to be spoiled, not you.”

DongHae chuckled at the blonde. The blonde dragged DongHae’s head and placed it on his shoulder, to where it belongs.

“Here, just shut up and sleep as you usually do.”

“Yes, Umma, I’ll do just that.” DongHae’s mocking voice answered back.

Closing his eyes, in the dark, DongHae searched for the boy’s hand and clasped it firmly with his. He intertwined the fingers together, palm against palm. His other hand slowly crept to his chest, right on, his heart and squeezed it hard.

When he thought he already free, and accepted the fact, his aching heart proved him otherwise. The wound is still bleeding, the cracks are still gaping, and the damage wouldn’t heal until his last breath.

‘I love you Lee HyukJae, even in my death, I’ll always love you.’

***

잠시나마 나에게 빛을 준 네게
Stay for just a bit, you who had given light to me

끝이라도 눈물 따윈 보이기 싫어서 나
Even if it's the end, I don't want to show you my tears, so you

(너에게 웃음 지으며) 고맙다고 행복한 추억 내게 만들어줘서
While putting on a smile for you, I say thank you, for making these happy memories

***

They separated at their usual junction.

“DongHae! Don’t forget, we have a date tomorrow, don’t be late ok? Or not, I wouldn’t forgive you ever again!”

“Arasso, don’t worry, I’ll meet you guys at the park tomorrow after my shift,” DongHae waved his hand dismissively.

“You better be!”

HyukJae waved him goodbye and disappeared into the corner at the end of the road.

DongHae froze at his spot, looking at his friend’s retreating.  He shoved his hands into his pocket and walked away. Head hug low, he counted the pavements as he stepped on them. Un-navigated feet make their way to a playground.

A date, yea right. It is not his-their- date, it going to be HyukJae’s and his boyfriend’s date and he just going to tag along. HyukJae used to say that he going to introduce DongHae to one of their friend. DongHae let out a bitter laugh. The man he loved tried to play cupid for him. How ironic is that?

He reached a swing and settled down on it. Head still low, looking at the grass beneath his feet, his head can’t help to wonder, why he keep on insisting like this.

He was-and still is- in love with the oblivious man.

Yes. No doubt about that.

The man who obviously loving him with all his heart, but not in love with him.

Yes, he knew-knows- it and understood-understands- it.

He was-and still- hurting by that facts.

Yes. Definitely.

Yet, he stays. He stubbornly clings to the man. He’ll climb the deepest pit, jumps from the highest cloud and even swims the widest sea just to be with the boy again. And he did just that, one of them, literally.

This is not healthy, his head once said. This is not good, for both HyukJae and him, his head said again. He needed to learn to let go, even the word learning is a little bit too late for him now, but he need to do that. He needed to let HyukJae free…and HyukJae should let go of him as well…

Not interested at the grass anymore, DongHae tilted his head and looked at the vast night sky. It spreads so wide, like a dark black sheet with millions of sparkling jewels on it. The moon hid behind the cloud tonight, not revealing herself to him.

Such a beautiful night, but still it unable to calm his wary heart.

DongHae breathed out. Just like that countless stars in the sky, that’s how much he loves the man. He bet he already loves him since small, since the first time he laid his eyes upon that cute thing.

He doesn’t even understand his feeling at first. On why his heart jumped and his stomach flutters, at the sight of the man. On why he unable to think when they doesn’t meet for only one day. On how his heart wrenched and bleed at the man’s hurting.

On why he felt like himself dying when he was the one who refused the blonde’s confession years ago and how his heart broke into million pieces on seeing the same blonde found his new love and happy with the new man that he doesn’t even bother to memorized his name.

He doesn’t even understand it a bit until it is too late. He was too used of loving HyukJae and having the blonde loving him back until he can’t even recognize the precious love that screaming in front of his face. He took their mutual feeling for granted, not appreciating it enough.

He was an ambitious teen once. He wanted a lot and worked hard for it. He was too engulfs with his own aims and ambitions. He wanted to have a great job, to have a big family with a beautiful wife, to compensate his ‘lonely’ life as a fatherless orphan, as he always tells HyukJae.

It wasn’t that he didn’t saw HyukJae’s smile flattens at his ‘big family with a beautiful wife’ statement. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the constrained in HyukJae’s voice saying he can’t gives all of that to him. It wasn’t that he didn’t heard HyukJae’s muffled sobs when he pretended to sleep on the boy’s shoulder one day, but he ignored them. He ignored them all as he..as an idiot he was.

Or maybe he still is an idiot, until now.

He let go the precious most things that ever happened to him, pursuing his dreams.

A gush of cold wind blew his face. One white feather fell on his lap.

“Love won’t come to you if you throw your time away on this old swing you know. Don’t waste those 3 days I fought for you, idiot fish.”

DongHae heard a voice as the swing besides him swung with the creek sound of the rusted hinges.

Not even affected by the wicked statement and the sudden appearance of the man, DongHae just smiled and nodded his head. Hands gripped hard at the swing chains. He turned to a beautiful being beside him. A fair tall longhaired man; looking back at him with disinterest.

“Yea, I should not waste my time like this.”

***

(너에게 웃음 지으며) 고맙다고 행복한 추억 내게 만들어줘서
While putting on a smile for you, I say thank you, for making these happy memories

(어색한 미소를 비추며) 널 이렇게 보내지만
Shining with an awkward smile, I'm sending you away like this but

이 문이 닫히면 네 모습이 사라지면
When this door closes, when the image of you disappears

하루를 눈물로 살겠지만 너와의 추억 때문에 혼자 남아
I'll probably spend the day in tears, because of the memories with you, I'm left alone
 

110403***HyukJae***

HyukJae happily sipped his strawberry milk on the bench, while waiting for his boyfriend completing his round on that huge wheel of Paris in front of him. KyuHyun asked him to take the ride together, but HyukJae refused to join his boyfriend, as he already felt dizzy after their crazy rides on the killer rollercoaster.

After giving his lover a peck on the lips and a carton of HyukJae’s favorite drinks, KyuHyun dashed towards the wheel while squealing like a hyperactive toddler. He always loves to ride on that thing. HyukJae chuckled at his lovers antics.

It going to take him sometimes, giving HyukJae more time to rest. Suddenly restless, HyukJae leered at his wristwatch. Almost 11.15 p.m. already, but he still didn’t see the glance of his best friend, DongHae. HyukJae took out his hand phone; contemplating on should he or should he not make a call to that lost boy.

Unconsciously he pouted his lips. DongHae does looked a little bit strange yesterday. Was it about his appearance? No, nothing changed. DongHae was still with his messy brown locks, childish behavior, and beautiful smile on his handsome face. Nothing changed, nothing at all after all these two years.. was it?

Suddenly HyukJae’s view filed were blocked a two huge hands. HyukJae smiled at the playful voice heard behind him,

“Monkey, monkey. Guess who?”

“Erm, let me guess..” HyukJae tapped a finger on his chin, playing along, “it must be that smelly fish from the fish market!”

A light smack landed on his head.

“Yah, how could you say that? I’ve been through a lot just to meet you here you know.”

DongHae’s whining voice made HyukJae smile widens.

“Yeah, whatever. You are 1 hour late. Where had you been?” HyukJae scolded his best friend.

“I have life you know. My world doesn’t only resolve around you, Hyukkie.”

HyukJae pouted more at his friend answer. He looked at DongHae. The boy smiled as he usually does, played as he usually does. ‘Nothing’s change right, DongHae?’ his heart silently asked.

“Where’s the game boy? Haven’t seen him around?” DongHae looked around him, searching for his boyfriend.

HyukJae scoffed a little, “He had a name Hae. He is on that big round thing,” pointing up towards the wheel.

DongHe smiled mischievously and rubbed his hand together. “Yay, meaning more time for you and me!” HyukJae rolled his eyes on this. Yes, nothing change, DongHae still don’t like KyuHyun and always want to have him alone. Possessive Hae is still possessive. HyukJae smiled inwardly.

The boy suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

“Let’s go to the hill, back there!”

“Yah, what about Kyu?” HyukJae asked, worrying about his lover.

“What about him?” DongHae suddenly stern voice exploded.

Unhappy, HyukJae stopped on his track and tried to pry his hand out of the tight grip. DongHae halted as well and turned facing him, “I’m just kidding, ok? The wheel going to take a while before finishing, so, at the mean time, why don’t we lay down on the hill for a while?” DongHae pleading eyes caught him.

Finding himself nodding at the boy’s suggestion, they both continued their journey towards the hill.

***DongHae***

They settled down on the hill. The small hill located just several minutes from the funfair ground.

DongHae lay on his back on the soft grass, facing the sky. He secretly threw a glance towards the oblivious man besides him. ‘Beautiful’

By his side, HyukJae followed suit mirroring his action. The man lay on his back and placed both of his hands behind his head, acting as a pillow. Contented and comfortable, his almond shaped eyes started to shut close.

DongHae than fixed his gaze upon the stars above. His already ill stomach started to flip upside down. His throat constricted and his heart pounded madly in his ribcage. He’s nervous. He needed to say the words before it’s too late.

A shooting star passed, DongHae closed his eyes, ‘I love you HyukJae.’

However, the words never came aloud; they just stuck in his windpipe, and came out as a heavy sigh. DongHae clenched his fist in frustration. He was disappointed to his own restriction, his own feebleness. What is going too happened to them after he said those words? His heart argued. He is going to leave the man eventually, what are the significant of the words upon them now?

If Hyukkie say he loved him back, would that make him a happy man? Would that make HyukJae’s life better in future? He didn’t think so.

‘But, you need to say them DongHae, so that you can let him go.’ His conscience debated. DongHae knows, that’s the best for them, he should end this clean, so that both of them can move on. Burying his feeling deep in his heart, DongHae let out another heavy sigh. Yes, it’s decided then, he should do that.

***

“Hyukkie, you know, you should stop doing this.”

HyukJae popped his head up and rested it upon one shoulder, “Doing what Hae-a?”

“This, playing at the funfair every year, celebrating your birthday. You are going to be 20 this year. You should stop, it’s not cool you know.”

“Owh? Like that? I thought you’re the one who insisting to celebrate my birthday in a funfair, years ago. We tried to celebrate it at other place DongHae, but your pout was so huge, it hid your fishy face for the whole day. Remember that?”

“Ah, that’s 10 years ago. I changed. I become cooler and more handsome then I used to be. I don’t want to play in the park anymore.”

DongHae make a face as he felt soft finger poking his lips.

“Aw.. handsome boy is pouting right now..how cute.”

“Ck, Hyukkie, I am being serious.”

“Aye, aye. Arasso. Next year we will celebrate my birthday in a pub or in a stripper club. How’s about that? Is that cool enough for you?”

Satisfied, DongHae flashed a triumph smile. He started to close his eyes when he saw HyukJae shivered besides him. Reaching out, he pulled the slimmer man closer to him.

“Haish, you should eats more, gain some fat would you?”

“Yea, arraso, grumpy daddy”

HyukJae rested his head on DongHae’s chest, while DongHae wrapped his arm around the man’s shoulder. He rubbed it gently trying to heat it up.

 “We should stop doing this either”

“Aw, stop doing what now?”

“This, you should let me go”

***HyukJae***

HyukJae’s heart stopped beating at this. There’s something definitely wrong with DongHae tonight. The boy seemed to tip toeing around something, and keeps on swerved around that subject. HyukJae somewhat able to guess what this is all about, but he’s also too afraid of the truth.

There is something in that boy’s eyes just now. It is like..the boy is telling him, his final farewell. Shrugging off the heavy feeling wrapped upon his heart, he decided, some things better left unsaid,

“Such a meannie, you’re the one who pulled me and wrapped your arms around me, now you’re asking me to let you go, you’re weird Hae.”

‘Don’t you ever let me go, Hae’ HyukJae silently added. He bit his lips and snuggled closer to the boy, not letting the boy go.

Heavy silence stretched between them.

HyukJae just about to doze off when he felt a nudge on his head.

“Hey,” DongHae’s voice awakens him again.

“Hmph” HyukJae answered sleepily.

“Hey, are you going to be alright when I gone?”

A blew to his already fragile heart. HyukJae’s just settling down emotions started to race again at the remarks. Swallowing hard, HyukJae tried to hide his quivered voice,

“Off course I will, I have Kyu to take care of me” the answer came out a little bit too loud from his initial intention.

“Isn’t that you are the one who always taking care of him? That boy only know how to play Starcraft..”

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend we are talking about. Besides of playing his computer game, he is also good at loving me Hae, unlike that one person” He’s been doing fine, HyukJae mused. He can play this as long as DongHae wanted them to play.

“I’m good at loving you too Hyukkie, better than him”

Another stabbed on his bleeding heart. ‘But you’ll never love me that way Hae.’

“Like I was talking about you. Such a dope.” HyukJae effectively covered up his boiling feeling. ‘Why are you doing this to me, DongHae?’

“The dope that you loved the most, I would say.”

‘I love you, DongHae, I always do.’ “Ah, in your wildest dream, DongHae”

“But really, will you be fine? I mean, without me?”

Unable to restrain himself anymore, HyukJae snapped.

“Why are you talking like this? I don’t like it. If you’re planning to leave me, just say so, don’t keep me in the dark like this.”

HyukJae prayed himself out of DongHae’s warm embrace and started to get on his feet. A strong jerk at his wrist pulling him back down and HyukJae found himself pinned to the ground by a strong body upon him, a second later.

***DongHae***

Panicked at the thought of the man is leaving him, DongHae’s plan changed drastically. He needed to say the words now, no matter what. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be at peace forever.

He straddled the man on his waist and seized both of the man’s wrists in his hand. He leaned forward, and rested his forehead against HyukJae’s.

He breathed in, trying to tame his wildly beating heart. HyukJae’s hitched breathes brushed against his nose, unevenly. Pulling out a little, DongHae’s brown eyes searched for the other’s black ones. Their eyes met, HyukJae’s tearful eyes wide, questioning him in silent.

Tears started to pool in his eyes.

“You must be happy, no matter what, Hyukkie”

HyukJae bit his lower lip and nodded frantically at DongHae’s command. DongHae’s tears fell upon the latter face, showered the man like falling rain.

 “I love you HyukJae, but you have to let me go. I am letting you go now. Promise me you going to be happy with your boyfriend.”

Still speechless, DongHae saw the man beneath him nodded again at his words. With all said and done, DongHae closed his eyes and kissed the man’s forehead sweetly.

“I love you, I always be, Hyukkie. Goodbye.”

***

행복을 더 바랄게
I wish that you'll be happier

나 지금 이 손을 놓치면
When I let go of this hand now

이제 또 웃을 일 없겠지만 다른 사람의 품에서
I'll no longer have any reason to smile but when I see you smiling

웃고 있을 널 보며 나 웃어 볼게
in another's embrace, I'll try to smile

110404***HyukJae***

HyukJae snapped out of his daze when he felt two strong arms wrapped him protectively from behind.

“Happy birthday, baby. Saranghae”

KyuHyun spun him around and kissed HyukJae sweetly on his lips, wishing him birthday. He doesn’t understand why, but his heart wasn’t happy or excited at this moment. He loves his boyfriend with all his heart. The beating organ always flutters with love each time his beau kisses him, but not this time.

Not when his heart currently somewhere else; or on someone else. Faintly he remembered, DongHae was late.. then what happened? Deep inside HyukJae knew something important had taken place, but his head unable to recall the events. It felt like he was trapped in a time loop, and one fragment of it loss, untraceable.

Disconcerted, he glanced at the spot he last saw DongHae. At the feet of the wheel, just after KyuHyun jumped onto it, at where he drank his strawberry milk.

However, the boy wasn’t there.

His heart stops beating. His breathes heaved and his chest tightened. His eyes stung, trying to stop the tears which treating to fall. He really don’t understand it why, but all his being screamed to search for DongHae now.

Panicking, he detangled himself from KyuHyun and ran towards the wheel. Disturbed eyes wild searching for the boy.

In his panic attack, he felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it a bit. HyukJae turned around towards the person direction, praying hard that it was DongHae’s hand on his. He was devastated as he saw KyuHyun’s concerned face looking back at him.

“He is not here Kyu.”

Tears rolled freely from his eyes.

“Who is not here Hyukkie? Minnie hyung wasn’t here at the first place, he told us earlier, he unable to join us tonight.”

“No, it’s not Minnie hyung!”

HyukJae turned around and started to shout out to those random crowds,

“DongHae! Hae-a, where are you?!”

Frustrated, HyukJae called DongHae’s name aloud, hoping the boy will heard him and reply him back.

***

마지막 인살 내게 건네기 전에
Before saying your last farewell to me

아주 잠깐만 멈춰서 날 보며 웃어줘
Please stop for just a moment and look at me while smiling

***KyuHyun***

KyuHyun froze on his feet. Jaws clenched, detaining his emotions inside. His heart shattered into million small pieces looking at his boyfriend’s sorry state. Even after these years, he still couldn’t let DongHae go from his heart.

“Where is DongHae? He was here just now. He was with us..”

HyukJae feverishly said. He tried to free himself from KyuHyun. The grip on his shoulder tightened. KyuHyun closed his eyes and pulled HyukJae in a crushing hug. Despite of his own turmoil heart, he kept his expression on check and he tried to sooth the anxious boy in his arms.

“Baby, baby, please listen to me,”

KyuHyun loosen his hug and gently pats HyukJae’s head, calming him. After a while, HyukJae’s struggling and cries slowly subsided and eased. KyuHyun cupped HyukJae’s face lovingly in his hands and looked deeply into the blonde eyes.

It took him a very long time to mend his lover’s heart due the loss, but no matter how hard he tried, he just unable to fully heals him. HyukJae loved-and still loving- DongHae. His love to him is too deep until he unable to forget him.

KyuHyun remembered it vividly the day he picked up small bits of HyukJae’s shattered self upon DongHae’s death. The man was so shattered, devastated, and depressed.

They are already lovers at that time, but deep inside, he always knows where HyukJae’s heart truly is. It belongs to his long childhood friend, named Lee DongHae. He personally only met the man once or two in his lives, but from the brief meeting he can clearly detect, their feelings were mutual.

It wasn’t a one sided love, back then. It was a simple, pure two-sided adoration, if not a full-blown love. It’s just they were too oblivious or too in denial of their own feeling. Being in love with HyukJae himself, he found himself greedy and never let the man go. Lucky for him, slowly, but surely HyukJae starts to opens his heart to him and loves him back.

KyuHyun tenderly wiped HyukJae’s tears and started to plant small kisses on his eyes.

“Hyukkie, please listen to me. Hae is not here,” KyuHyun slowly placed his hand upon HyukJae’s chest and pressed it firmly on his erratic beating heart, “but he is in here right now, and forever this is his place.”

***HyukJae***

HyukJae stared deeply into his lover’s eyes, searching for the truth. Revelations fell upon him slowly and painfully as his memories flashed in front of his eyes. DongHae’s already gone. He realized that. The boy died two years ago, when he fell from the bus on their last trip together, on his 18^th birthday. The Lord took the boy away while he was in HyukJae’s lap and arms.

Since then, HyukJae never take the bus ride home. It had been two years, KyuHyun always be the one who picks him up from his work place, however last night he took the bus ride again.  

He don’t know why, but his feet automatically made their way to the bus station and his heart was in joy, being able to meet his best friend. Last night’s memories seemed to be surreal for him now. He knew now, that his heart missing the boy so much until his mind played trick on him.

He was positive he saw DongHae and shared a chat with him, like they always does. He convinced that he dragged the boy’s head and rested it upon his shoulder, they casually departed at the same junction as they always…

He also ascertains that DongHae was here just now, talking to him like he always do.

“I love you HyukJae…I am letting you go now…”

HyukJae’s froze when he suddenly heard the boy’s voice in his ears.

Reality hit him hard. He knows and understands that DongHae already let him free, now it’s time for him to do the same.

“I love you DongHae, I always be. I am too, letting you go now.”

His heart squeezed hard, but somehow lighter now. HyukJae knows he done the right thing. He should be doing this, years ago. He should let himself free of their memories. Looking at his lover’s face, HyukJae couldn’t help but to feel thankful and fortunate to have the man by his side.

 He will stop clinging to his past and will start living his new life to the fullest, with KyuHyun by his side. He sobbed and buried his face on KyuHyun’s chest.

***

그 사람과의 길던 인연의 끝에
At the end of your long relationship with him

서서 기다리고 있던 나란 걸 알아줘
Please know that it'll be me standing there, waiting

잠시라도 그 사람 생각이 날 때
Even if you ever get flashes of memories with him

그때보다 웃게 할 널 약속해보지만 너
I'll try to promise that I'll make you smile even more than those times but you

(나에게 눈물 보이며) 힘들다고 그 사람 곁에 이별만 남겨줘서
If you show me your tears, And say that it's difficult, because there is only farewell by that person's side

(멍하니 네 손 잡으며) 널 이렇게 붙잡지만
While I hold onto your hand with a blank expression, I'm holding onto you like this

***KyuHyun***

KyuHyun’s lips trembled, trying hard to restrain his emotions from showing. He loves this man to the bit and already accepted that he had to share this man precious heart with his late friend. He doesn’t mind it, he doesn’t feels jealous towards DongHae, as he knows, whatever happened between HyukJae, DongHae already passed, and now, he is the man’s present and together, they going to make their future.

“I love you Kyu.” HyukJae’s muffled voice sings like the beautiful most song in his ears.

“And I love you more, Hyukkie” KyuHyun smiled and kissed his precious bundle of joys blonde hair. ‘I love you more.’

KyuHyun tightens his hug and rested his chin upon the latter’s head. From a far, he saw two figures looking at them. His heart seized a beat as he thought recognized one of the figures.

The shorter one; with brown hair, smiling warmly and lovingly at them. The man, he met the man somewhere before, but he can’t put a finger where and when.

The taller one; a fair man with wavy long hair, smirked at him and flipped his hair before turning his heels towards the opposite direction. The man tapped the others shoulder before disappearing in the thin air.

The brunette, nodded a little, acknowledging the man, looked directly into KyuHyun eyes and mouthed something to KyuHyun before he bowed to him and disappeared as well.  Strange, but true, KyuHyun doesn’t freaked out at their mysterious appearance and disappearance, instead, he felt content, almost like meeting his long lost friend.

KyuHyun eyes followed, as he saw two white bird feathers falls on the ground, the only evidence of their existence.

KyuHyun smiled secretly. He recognized the brunette now. He was DongHae, HyukJae’s friend.

‘I will take care of him DongHae, don’t you worry about that. You can count on me.’

KyuHyun looked at the now calm man in his arms, ‘You really can rely on me now.’

End***

1stly, credits to the song writer(s) and singer(s) and those hard working people who translated this and put it on the web.

2ndly, please pay attention to the dates. u might find this little bit confusing if u're didn't.

3rdly, about this song, this beautiful song by two beautiful talented boys of B2ST (have no idea how many times I cried listening to this).

Lastly, for my Fallen followers, mianhe, still unable to update for a while. be patient ne^^. sarangheyo <3