I developed my first crush at the beginning of high school.

It was basically a first crushed that developed into a first love.

One day I had decided to confess.

I couldn't tell you if it was because I was young and stupid, or if I was just fearless back then, but the fact that I was about to confess to an upper classmate, of the same gender didn't deter me at all.

My hands were clammy as I asked them to meet me on the secluded rooftop of our school.

I might have thought I was fearless, but my body knew the truth, it was nervous as .

This was my crush we were talking about, a first love.

The clammy hands, butterfly in the stomach kind of feeling.

He came up looking suave with his hair ruffling slightly in the breeze.

And before my brain could even process what I was doing, I had already done it.

Blurted out my love for him and how I wish we could be together....forever like some mushy romance novel.

And like no romance novel you'll ever read, he shot me down quicker then I could get my brain to function.

The next thing I know I'm on the ground with a painful ache on my face.

He left me a reminder of that day that lasted a good two weeks.

A bruise I told everyone that I got from running into a door.

After many awkward moments of 'oh he saw me looking at him' and his looks of 'do I know you' the school year ended.

With it came a proposition from my parents, an offer to study abroad.

Without a second thought, I accepted the offer and left.

I left without one word to my school and friends and allowed myself to disappear from Korea...till now.

“Excuse me sir. You forgot this.” A cute flight attendant came over with my scarf in hand.

I smiled sweetly at her before giving her my thanks.

She blushes before bowing and making her way back into the plane.

But not before I catch her taking one last glance in my direction.

I'm not shallow in the least bit, but time has done me some good.

No longer was I that chubby nerd who spend his whole day with a their nose stuck to a book.

I had grown a little taller during that time, and slim down a bit.

Also lost were the nerdy glasses and in its place, contacts, to go along with the vastly improved sense of style.

But the thing that changed the most about me was that I was smarter.

Because now, I no longer allowed the word love to be included in my dictionary.