A young man is sitting nervously on the velvet red sofa. He looks around the small but pleasurable room. Music of nature sounds echoing smoothly, giving traquil sensation, which contains of humming birs chirping cheerfully, sound of water flowing on small river, gentle breeze blowing makes the leafages rustling. All the nature sounds are combined together with adagio tempo of simple music instrument, piano, cello, and traditional bamboo flute. Golden morning sunlight comes trough the small windows, creating dramatic shadows on the wood flooring. It is normally relaxing, but that young man feels otherwise. This music forces him to imagine about the woods, the situation which he is trying to make it up now. He distracts his anxiety by wiggling his legs repeatedly or sometimes bitting his fingernails.

A teenager boy who is sitting right next to him ~ who's wearing a red baseball cap ~ reaches his left palm and squeezes it gently. Preventing him to bite his fingers, his bad habbit since childhood. The boy smiles like he has already known the other for thousand years. The older stops and sees their fingers interlocked, enjoys the warmth of the boy's hand. His feeling tells him that he loves it, but his thought does not. That man is trapped in between to pull away his hand or to keep stay inside the warmth of younger's hand.

The younger leans closer and gives a very light peck on his white pale right cheek. It is hazy and quick but succesfully makes the older's heartbeat racing uncontrolably. 

The man closes his eyes. Trying to memorize the heat which the younger sent from the tip of his soft lips. It's not the first time he receives the kisses from the younger, but he thinks that maybe this is the last.

His mind is prexpeled. He wanna reply back , I love you , and kisses him back. But he know that will make matters worse. The only thing he can do right now is just forbearing himself .

That man's name is Kim Junmyeon, a thoracic surgeon and an only candidate of next period hospital director. Today, he left the operating room at 2nd floor where he works at, because he has already made an appointment with specialist at the 7th floor in the same hospital building, secretly. He doesn't tell anyone. He just doesn't want anyone know where he is going to do now.

His hand was trembling when he was about to press the 7th floor button in the lift which written as psychiatric and psychological treatmen area. Junmyeon couldn't move his finger at all, till the other visitor who were standing behind him offered a help and asked him, "Are you fine, young man?" He didn't wear his white coat, so the visitor in the lift didn't know he's a medical staff in this hospital.

Junmyeon is accompanied by his precious friend  who came later. They're sitting quietly at the waiting room. Keep holding hands.

"dr. Kim Junmyeon. Please come in to the assesment room."

Finally they announce it after more than 45 minutes waiting. Junmyeon's startled. His nervousness is going exaggerate.

He stands up and walks away but the younger is still gripping his hands. Willing to go along with him.

"Just stay here! You can't go inside!" Junmyeon pulls his hand from the younger tight grapsing.

"Why?" He frowns his forehead

"I beg you." 

"You won't leave me, will you?" The younger's voice is trembling.

"No, I won't "

Junmyeon shakes his head and smiles faintly.

The younger is not sure with Junmyeon's facial expression. But he just nods weakly. "Okay. I'll wait you here then."

Junmyeon pats the boy's head. "Good boy... See you soon."

"Good luck." He let go off the older hand.

Feeling the warmth is suddenly gone away, Jumyeon feels a pain that can not be expressed in words from deep in his heart. Junmyeon doesn't have any strength to see the younger man's teary eyes. Junmyeon knows the younger is crying. His heart is frazzling, can't restrain the urge to wrap his hands aroud the younger skinny body. Junmyeon pulls the younger's slender shoulder and gently places his chin on the top of that boy's head. He caresses the back of the boy's neck. The boy is crying in the deep of his farewell embrace. 

"I don't want to lose you. Promise me you'll comeback safely." He whispers on Junmyeon's left ear. Before he plants a kiss, Junmyeon feels a warm teardrop is falling on to his left earlobe.

Junmyeon nods and replies back with kiss the other's forehead.

Without gives another time, Junmyeon suddenly breaks the contact and walks away toward the assesment room's door. He refuses his own desirability to look back. He knows he will abrogate his decission if he sees the younger's face once more. Junmyeon can't hold the tears. He mends the pace going inside the room and closes the door behind.

I don't have any choice.

I'm sorry.