I need an airbag before I hit the great sadness that approaches my way.

Why is the taxi driver going slow today, of all days…this is just great. For some odd reason, on nights I don’t feel like going home, the taxi driver is somehow purposely avoiding all the shortcuts. Is he on to me? He’s a slow driver too. Can this day get any worse?  On the radio, the DJ keeps on talking. It’s not even interesting so why try, especially with those meaningless words of yours. The DJ isn’t even capable in bringing in guests who will make me laugh or even play music that’ll make me smile, can’t they do anything right today?!

The conversations are just never-ending.

Usually I wouldn’t even listen and I would request the taxi driver to change the channel, but whatever, I’m not really in the mood. There’s probably nothing on the radio I would want to listen to either. I guess I’ll use this chance to have my thoughts drowned out by the sounds coming from the radio.  All I hear is laughter coming from the radio, laughing at words I can’t seem to comprehend since I wasn’t paying attention to it in the first place; even the expressionless taxi driver laughs at one of the radio DJ’s jokes. Was it that funny?

Am I really that isolated from the world, in my own little island?

Maybe I’m the only lonely island. Ah, a song request. It’s a sad song that I liked before. I wonder if the singer’s also alone in this world, maybe they’re in a place where long days can rest for a while. I have so many things I need to take care of, there are too many thoughts running through my mind, to the point I would like to drink to get drunk, and it’s hard. It’s hard for me to get drunk. But it’s not like I’m trying to avoid these so-called drinking sessions. Is it because I don’t want to be alone? Or, is it because I want to catch someone’s attention by being alone? I don’t know. I don’t know whether I hate being alone, or I want it to be obvious that I’m alone. Am I actually drunk right now and I don’t know it? Am I that oblivious? No, that can’t be possible I’m still being rational. I need an airbag. It’s too late to avoid it.

Loneliness is common for me. It’s so definite.

If someone were to be by my side and talk to me, would I be able to share these haunting thoughts of mine? Even to me, it remains as a question mark. Fortunately, my thoughts were interrupted by the driver’s phone call. Apparently his drinking plans with his buddies were canceled; I guess there’s probably something on his mind too. He hangs up and grumbles at his cell phone. At this moment, my gaze lingered on a family portrait hanging crookedly on top of the taxi’s meter. I guess it’s his family. Is that the main reason for others to wander around? The main reason for me to wander around? Because I don’t have a home to go to? A path to follow? Or is it because even though I have many places to go, there is not one person waiting for me there? I need an airbag before I hit the great sadness that approaches my way. I guess I’m all alone once again.

Oh, it’s raining.

I need an airbag. It’s too late to avoid it. I guess I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t even realize when the rain began to fall. As I looked out the window I could see puddles forming due to the heavy rain. Over the overflowing puddles, I see the reflection of a billboard showing a traffic accident. Why, why is it at this current moment you entered my mind. You’re invading my thoughts. Tears form as I’m imagining you in your new happy life. Next to the term “Death” I see the number one. That number looks so lonely under the pouring rain. I’m dangerous right now. I guess I’m all alone again.

Once again. I’m all alone.

I need an airbag before I hit the great sadness that approaches my way. How nice it would be to have someone there to shield me during from my difficult times. It would be nice. I’m in need of a person like that. Oh, the car stopped. I’m home.

“Thanks,” I said to the taxi driver as I stepped out of the taxi and paid the fee.

“No, thank you, I’m just doing my job” the driver replied to me as he collected the money.

I guess it’s time for me to enter the apartment. God, it’s so empty, and dreary. How did I ever survive in this condition? Today, my apartment looks extra dreary. It’s depressing.

This all happened because of you. You made me feel as if I was worthy of such sympathy. Whenever my dreams were shattered because of the people whom I believed would stay left me, you still came to me. You were there to comfort me. It’s okay, were the words I would always hear from you when I’m absolutely lifeless, hurt and alone. But, you left me as well.

Can’t you hold me, can’t you hold my hand.

Won’t you be kind enough and come back into my life telling me those words that I’m dying to hear? I need you. Without you, my life is incomplete. Without you, my life is dead.

I need you now.

Please come back and help me, so that I can say goodbye to everyone, say goodbye to the people who cared about me. I need to bid farewell to the people who knew me, because I’m not that person they knew anymore. I changed ever since you left. The pieces of my memory with you are the only things left that can fill my life with color. My life is colorless without these memories of us; these memories are now my strength to carry on in my everyday life.

I need you now, so my lonely island can be complete.

Can’t you come back to me and hold on to me? I need an airbag. It’s too late to avoid it. There are often times when I would watch the TV like nothing happened, and I would pretend that everything was normal. I would pretend to sleep well, but truthfully, I haven’t slept well since that day.

I’m not who I once was anymore.

I would go on trips like today until I get tired, and come home. Come home to this dark apartment, and just let you enter my thoughts. I need you to stop haunting my thoughts. I guess the rain finally decided to stop.

I need you, yes, I need you, my airbag. I need you now. I need you Kim Sunggyu.

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Should I make an Epilogue or Prologue to this one shot? Since it's kind of a short one shot...

I hope you guuys enjoyed reading this. Again, I'm still an amateur. Sorry, for making this story kind of depressing it was raining today. 

Hopefully I did the songs justice!~

- imtarynh