His heart was pounding.

 

Was he late?

 

He couldn't be late. There was no way.

 

There was no way he could let you get on that train.

 

He was so stupid, so stupid he was almost letting you out of his life.

 

If that train left before his feet could carry him to the station, he'd run that damn thing down.

 

The day was way too hot to be running at breakneck speed like this, heat was eminent. His dark hair has heavy with sweat, his face coated with a heavy sheen, people giving him disgusted looks as he blew past them. He could see the train station a few feet away, and he picked up his speed. Grabbing the side of the entrance way he skidded to a halt at the stairs, swinging around into the stairs. Falling into the stone entrance, he almost knocked over an older lady. She stumbled back, shaking her fist at him; he bowed swiftly, slapping his hands together. All other politeness be damned. He continued on, his feet barely touching the stone, and hurried over to the ticket section.

 

It was a small booth for such a large station and the line was long, winding around the barricades. It shot almost all the way up to the entrance. The lighting was dim, with the backdrop of the bright sun light. Most of the electricity was being consumed by the giant fans blowing wildly around, causing some people to lose their papers.

 

His breath was coming out in pants and he was sure everyone was staring at the intrusion. He wiggled his way to the front, much to the agitation of those waiting in line.

 

"When is the train leaving for Seoul?" he half-screamed at the poor ticket lady, slamming his hands down on the counter. Her dark bun quivered as she jumped back. Her expression was one of shock, and she was taking too long to form words, "Umm...sir, there's a line-" 

 

He cut her off. "I only need to know what time it leaves! And where it is!" The strain in his voice was hard and he felt the sweat sliding down his back. He could see the giant clock behind the woman, listing the times and trying to see past her.

 

A gray-haired, blue-suited man right behind him spoke up in a tired, irritated tone, "The train leaves in five minutes. And it's in section B. Please get out of the way, the rest of us have work!" 

 

He nodded, quickly bowing to the man, and almost catching himself on the bar in front of him. It was a near miss and his face flushed, while the older rolled his eyes, snapping, "Get out of the way!" Sliding out away, his tired eyes looked up at the signs on the corners.

 

Crap. He'd entered at the east end, which meant he had to cross six sections...

 

...in five minutes. 

 

He could do it...all this training, all his cardio. He could do it...

 

He took off, much to the relief of those in line, and the train station became a multi-colored blur passing him by. His eyes were set on the numbered signs down to the station he needed; the rest didn't matter. He was sure he'd have many people to hate him as he felt bodies slam into him, and he shouted sincere apologies behind his shoulder. 

 

But he couldn't stop... not until he reached you.

 

The station was overcrowded and it became hard to move, but his slight body pushed as hard as he could through the pack. People gave him looks as if he was crazy, but he continued to try, hearing the clock tick down in his head.

 

"Last call for Train 204 leaving Youngson and heading to Seoul. Arrival time..."

 

The broadcast had his heart beating out of control. He lost the rest of it in the blood rushing in his ears. He shoved himself onto the platform, stopping only for a moment to look desperately for that profile he had learned after so long. The steam from the engine of the train was rising in the air. The white train was dingy from use and the light blue stripe was almost worn away. It was somewhere that he should never be right now; if anyone recognized him he would be mobbed.

 

He'd let his anger and frustration get the best of him, and there was no way he could let it get the best of his life. He would not let you get away from him...

He studied the windows, they where frosted over from the heat of all the people. His eyes straining for the sight of your face...

 

And when he saw it, everything stopped suddenly, his feet wouldn't move and doubt filled his soul. Like sticky fingers they clawed its way up his insides to grab a hold of him by his throat.

 

Would he really be able to convince you that he was worth it? That his life wasn't worth it without you? The weak lights in the station highlighted your features and you looked saddened, like you were about to cry. His heart twisted in his chest. He didn't ever want to see that look on your face. 

 

This cost him precious seconds and the ticket master tore the last ticket for the person to board the train. He looked way too warm in his black suit outfit, and the sweat was sticking to his black hat brim. He placed the scraps of paper and started to draw he red rope. He couldn't keep his mouth shut and blurted out, "No! Stop that damn train!" The voice came exploding out of him, surprising everyone around him, forgetting his previous worries. 

 

The train master looked up for only a mere moment before rolling his eyes and finishing drawing the rope across. The man had seen this before probably, from the younger people unable to keep track of themselves. He glared, and started running, the older man distracted by hooking the rope just right. He vaulted over the flimsy thing, much to the amazement of the master.

 

Trying to push past him gave him difficulties he didn't need while still out of breath so he fought him, almost knocking the man into the wall. He was sure he'd pay for this later, once again, but he couldn't just go away quietly now. 

 

You were in the second compartment... if he could just get there and explain, even just a little bit! You'd know he was sincere and not trying to fight the loneliness over the phone. He'd have a chance!

 

The patrons were staring at him in shock as he bulldozed past them, opening the hatch to the outside world and barreling through the connector. They were standing up behind him, all chattering excitedly. A person tried to stop him again the conductor but he was determined, and didn't even take notice of him. He began to hear his stage name a few times, but that was something that he wasn't worried about right now, either.

 

He could see your face, staring at him in shock. You had paused pushing your bag into the luggage rack above you. He ran to you, halting before you, with his mind going blank.

 

Now was the time. 

 

And he couldn't think of a thing to say.

 

The speech he had rehearsed in his head had faded away, and it was all he could do not to cry. He blinked back the wetness and fell to his knees in front of

you, his eyes looking up to your face. 

 

"Please don't go." He whispered it like a prayer, his heart showing in his eyes. He knew it wasn't his usual wild posture, or even his greasy personality...

But Kim Him Chan could not let you slip away from him. 

 

You crossed your arms on your chest, trying to bar him from you, shaking your head. "No. It's for the best. We need some time to think-" Your posture was no-nonsense, like you were determined not to hear him.

 

He viciously shook his head, "No! I don't need to think! That's what got me in trouble in the first place!" He hung his head, his left arm on his knee, "I was dumb! I thought too much about it, and I told you the wrong thing! I love you! I don't want it to end before I can think with a clear head!" He in his a breath as he felt arms lift him up from behind, and a deep voice.

 

"Sir! You must get off this train or we will have you arrested!" The security guards were beefy men in dark black clothing, looking irritated beyond belief. They wrenched him back and he shook his head, trying to keep in eye contact with you. 

 

"Please! Please let me talk to you!" His voice echoed throughout the almost silent train, and he reached out his hand. But you turned your back quickly, and he lost you in the crowd of people staring at him like he was crazy.

 

They pulled him through the first compartment as he dragged his feet, his body like a lead weight. Had he gotten through to you? Had he made any difference!? Would you give him a chance?!

 

Throwing him on the concrete had him wincing in pain, but as cliché as it sounded, it hurt less than the pain in his heart. He lay there on his back, looking up at the dirty ceiling, people literally stepping over him. The lights were flickering, burning into his eyes, but he didn't even bother to close them. It wasn't like he could think now. It didn't really matter with his schedule; he couldn't see you again for a couple of months. This had been his only chance. 

 

And he'd blown it. 

 

If he could have, he would have just closed his eyes right there and never opened them again on this cold hard floor. He wasn't used to this feeling, he loved frequently...

 

But this was the first time he'd ever been in love.

 

It was heart-shattering. 

 

There was a large commotion to his left but he ignored it, sure it was the police to come pick him off the wasteland. He was almost ashamed of himself for the way this would be splashed across newspapers, but the boys would understand.

 

"Just please get off the train..."

 

"I didn't even do anything!" 

 

Your voice.

 

Chan sat up like someone had electrified him, staring at the sight of you exiting the train in a huff. Your face was in an even angrier expression than when he last saw you, and he thought even that was beautiful. 

 

He couldn't believe his luck -- he'd have his chance and they'd have to throw him in jail not to take it. 

 

You snatched your bag from the disgruntled conductor, his hat still slightly off from when Himchan shoved him. Glaring at the black suited man you slung it over your shoulder, the contents giving a slight thump onto your back. "Fine! I didn't want to take the stupid train anyway!" Marching off towards the exit of the station, you kept your spine straight, trying to ignore the stares of the other people. 

 

He was about to make more stares as he pushed himself off the ground, taking off once again after you, calling your name. You steeled your shoulders, wincing at the loudness of his voice. He kept calling, running to your side and grabbing your arm with a firm but soft grip. You tried to look levelly at him, but that tick in your forehead always tipped him off. He knew you were mad, and you had a right to be.

 

"Please let me talk to you," he begged, the people around you both now moving and giving a wide berth. Some were still standing and staring, starting to form a circle around you. This caused you to turn and glare at them all, before returning to him. 

 

"You are talking now aren't you?" you gritted out to him, trying to keep your voice down and not wanting to start more intrigue. He, on the other hand, had no qualms in shaking his head and loudly proclaiming negativity.

 

"No! I mean really talk. If I tried to talk to you alone, you wouldn't listen. You'd just walk away again!" You paused for a second, seeming to think and agree with him, realizing there wasn't any way out unless you listened.

 

"What do you want then?" You once again crossed your arms over your chest, something he hated. He reached out to touch the skin of your forearm, gently prying the stiff limbs away. Himchan couldn't believe it, that you actually let him, and he took it as a good sign. Instead of relaxing, you placed your hands at your sides and sighed. He swallowed hard, hopeful that his words wouldn't stop in his throat this time. 

 

"I don't want you to go. I was stupid for letting my mouth run." He thought back for a moment at what caused all of this and an idea crossed his mind. He bent down, placing his knee on the ground and opened his mouth.

 

"Don’t frown with that pretty face

If you’re not mad, don’t kill me."

 

Your jaw dropped open and you stared at him with a shocked look-

 

"Don’t just say you’ll understand and that it’s fine

Don’t be mad, I want you to smile."

 

He held his hand to his chest, grasping at the fabric in an attempt to reach his heart. He remembered vividly what had started it all. A group of girls had entered the dressing room...

 

"You can do whatever you want in front of me

You don’t have to be coy with me

So please don’t get mad at me."

 

...he had been telling them he loved them, they were pretty in his usual way, not even thinking of it.

He had been showing off his playboy side too much and he didn't even realize he was angering you. Until it was too late, and you were yelling at him, packing your bags.

 

"Tell me, this isn't right, this is too much baby

You get mad, then love me again

Why do you go back and forth, why?"

 

He could see your resolve faltering, your eyes filling, but you were trying to keep strong. You were so strong, able to put up with so much, that he was constantly amazed by you.

 

"You might get upset at me and resent me at times but

I want to tell you, who gets mad so easily."

 

He knew you were angered easy, he knew you were excitable, but it was all part of what he loved about it you. You matched him perfectly, kept him grounded when his world was full of schedules and rules. 

 

"Don’t get mad at me, stop it, please don’t do this

I’m getting annoyed, I’m getting mad – I love you

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?

Do you know how I feel? Do you know how I feel?

Please don’t suddenly snap at me, there are people here

Talk quietly, everyone can hear us

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?"

 

He took a deep breath from singing this all by himself, but he was determined to push through it all. His voice was coming out sweet and low; he couldn't help, the emotion in his voice he was hoping to push through. He almost never sung by himself, preferring to be the face and rely on his looks. But you had always told him that he was a beautiful singer. So he'd hoped it'd ring true this time, and convince you to stay.

 

"I listened to everything you wanted baby

I know it seems like I’m nagging but don’t you know this is all for you?"

 

He closed his eyes, letting his voice reach one of the higher notes that he could go, and he bowed down in front of you. It was the ultimate sign of needing forgiveness.

 

"Every single day changes because of you

I feel like I’m on a quick train every day

Please don’t get mad

Whatever you say, I’m your Superman

I can do anything for you

I won’t ever let you go

Please don’t get mad

Please don’t suddenly snap at me."

 

His heart burned at the image of you walking away from him again, and he drew his eyebrows together to stop the sting of tears behind his lids. He was trying to hold it in, to not lose himself and show you how he really felt.

 

"Don’t get mad at me, stop it, please don’t do this

I’m getting annoyed, I’m getting mad – I love you

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?

Do you know how I feel? Do you know how I feel?

Please don’t suddenly snap at me, there are people here

Talk quietly, everyone can hear us

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?"

 

He'd let you walk away from him, and he only turned his back afterwards, ignoring the sharp pang in his chest. He had had many girlfriends before, some flings, some deeper liking, but he was now ashamed of the amount. Once he had thought that be able to go back to that lifestyle. Things were different now.  

 

"I know that you’re the apple of my eye but

I only want one thing from you, please listen to me just once."

 

He looked up again, uncaring about the tears in his eyes. It had come as a hard realization that he'd been screwed. He was making a fool of himself, but it was for the love of his life.

 

"Don’t get mad at me, stop it, please don’t do this

I’m getting annoyed, I’m getting mad – I love you

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?

Do you know how I feel? Do you know how I feel?

Please don’t suddenly snap at me, there are people here

Talk quietly, everyone can hear us

How many times do I have to tell you for you to know?"

 

The last note hung heavily in the air and he kept looking at the floor, while the crowd began to clap. He could help but for the hope to build up in his heart, he was really hoping you'd forgive him. A gentle smack to his head was his only warning, and he looked up alarmed to see your tear-stained face. You looked like you were about to kick him. He opened his mouth, but closed it when you began to speak.

 

"You're an idiot Himchan...but I do love you..." You smiled softly, biting your lip slowly, and reaching up to take his face in your hands. 

 

His smile could have split his face in two and he surged up, wrapping his arms around you. Your hands where now trapped at his ears and you boxed them playfully. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!" He muttered over and over, squeezing you tightly. It was a greart amusment to the crowd, and they opened a path for you to two to pass. He held onto your shoulder all the way out of the exit. You wouldn't need to take that train anywhere.

 

He refused to let you go again.

 

You looked up, annoyed at his face. "You know you only won because your voice is amazing right?" 

 

He smiled, nuzzling your cheek. "And you love me." 

 

You tried to hold back the smile, and failing, you nodded. "If you ever try what you did again, it's over, mister."

 

Himchan nodded, kissing your cheek...

 

"I know." 

 

The blazing Youngson sun was now soothing against his skin, the warmth of being next to his love all-consuming.