“Saengil Chukahamnida, Saengil Chukahamnida, Saranghaneun uri Yang Yoseob, Saengil Chukahamnida!”

I look up from my spot in front of the room’s mirror to see the reflection of my fellow BEAST members, 4 minute members, our juniors, A Pink and BTOB together with G.Na noona and Jihoon. I saw Doojoon standing right in the middle holding up a cake with 24 candles on it.

Turning around, a smile make its way on my lips without me realizing it.

My Cube family is here, celebrating my birthday.

“Aw you guys! Thanks so much!” walking up to them, my eyes already b with tears.

“Yah, hyung! It’s your birthday! You are not allowed to cry.” Dongwoon came running up to me, wiping my tears quite roughly.

All of us just laugh at his antics.

“Here, make a wish and blow on the candles. IN ONE GO!” Doojoon came up to me with the cake in his hand.

I wish she is here.

And with that I blow all 24 candles in one go with the help of my beast members. Kikwang pulled the table tennis table at the side of the room and place it in the middle before taking the cake in Doojoon’s hands to place it on the table.

The once huge cake was cut up into pieces and divided among all of us that, needless to say we were very hungry thanks to the practices and schedules that we did the whole day.

Scattering around in the practice room, conversation started, laughter heard and smiles can be seen. I look around looking at my Cube family. They are the reason why I am standing here, laughing and smiling, succeeding in my career.

“Seob, here!” Junhyung called out for me to where most of the members, excluding Hyunseung who was sitting with Hyuna, sat.

I walked over to them with a paper cup full of water after disposing my paper plate in the rubbish bin. My cake was long gone.

Sitting amongst them, we started small talks, about practically nothing. Not long after that Hyunseung join us, sitting next to Dongwoon. It’s been a long time since the 6 of us gather like this since all of us has busy individual schedules. Me with my solo promotion, Caffeine. Doojoon with his drama and movie filming. Kikwang with his variety shows. Hyunseung with his project duo with Hyuna and collaboration with A Pink Eunji and Namjoo. Dongwoon with his 91-line friends and practices. All of us were busy, and getting drifted apart, unlike our early days.

“Omo Seob! I almost forgot. Your present!” Kikwang suddenly jumped up, alarming all of us.

“Yah, no need for that! This is more than enough.” I told him sincerely, smiling from ear-to-ear.

I guess the BEAST members heard nothing coming out from my mouth. They pull me up from my sitting position dragging me out of my room. The rest of my Cube family too pushes me out. Something smells fishy here.

They pull me towards a practice room at the end of the hallway. The room that is usually use by rookies and trainees to practice.  I turn around, seeing my entire Cube family smiling and waving at me.

“Hyung! Hwaiting!” Peniel shout out.

Hwaiting? Just what is going on.

Upon reaching the door of the room, all of us stop. I was expecting one of them to open the door for me but instead, Doojoon ask me to open the door myself. I eyed him but he just ignores it.

I turn the door knob and push the door open when the rest of my members ran like kids back to the previous practice room.

“YAH! EODIGA! DOOJ-“

“Oppa?”

I didn’t even get to complete my sentence when a soft voice from inside the dark room called out to me.

That voice. The voice I’ve been yearning to listen to for the past few months.

I walk in the room, and turn on the lights.

There standing in the middle of the room was the girl that I wanted to see. The girl I wanted to look at. The girl that meant the whole world to me.

Song Yerin.

The name might not be familiar with anyone and the girl might not be known to anybody, but for me, this girl is everything.

“Oppa, Saengil Chukahae..” she wished me, walking slowly step by step to where I was standing.

Can’t stand looking at the distance between us, I walked up to her quickly and pull her by the arm, bringing her into my embrace.

“Yerin-ah, bogohipda..I really miss you..”  I whispered those words into her ear.

“O..oppa..”

I let her go, still holding her by her arm, bringing her face to look up at me.

Tears streamed down her white cheeks non-stop. I bring up my hand, wiping those tears away from her eyes. My heart hurts seeing her cry.

“Rin, jebal, ulljimalayo. Please, stop crying. Jebal, my heart hurts seeing you cry.”

“I miss you so much did you know that? The day you left and never came back without informing me, do you know how much it hurts me? Rin, jebal, talk to me.”

I look at her eyes straight, pleading for her to talk. For me to listen to her voice once again.

“Oppa, mian, jincha mianhe. I really didn’t mean to leave but I had to. And knowing you if I ever tell you about me wanting to leave, you won’t let me go. Doojoon oppa has tried to stop me before and he failed. But if you stop me oppa, I won’t go and I had to.”

Listening to her explanation, I only realize her situation now. I felt guilty for blaming her for leaving. Blaming myself for her dismissal.

“Rin, listen to what I have to say arasseo?”

She looked up at me, nodding her head but her eyes show that she has tons of questions for me,

It’s now or never.

“Song Yerin, I’ve known you for almost 2 years. I’ve seen you growing up in this company. I’ve seen your talent developing. The times we spent together were precious to me. All the secret outings we had, running away from B2UTIES to avoid rumors to spread. The stories we shared. Everything meant the world to me. You mean the world to me. You are my world. I didn’t know how it started, how it develop, but there is one thing I know. Song Yerin, I love you. I really love you. You open up my heart to love and to trust others. “

I face her after my long and heartfelt confession only to find tears streaming down her cheeks again.

“O..oppa..Na..Nado. Oppa, I like you, no, love you. From the first time I laid eyes on you, my heart doesn’t stop beating for you. The reason I left without saying a word was because I don’t want any goodbyes from you. Mian Seob..”

The words that came out from was unexpected. My eyes started to get teary and before I know it, tears ran down my cheeks.

I cupped her cheeks, our forehead touch, our nose bump into each other and our lips met each other.

The short, sweet first kiss.

I pulled away from the kiss just to see Yerin’s reaction.

Red. Her face was red. Cheeks flushed, eyes looking down.

I chuckled at her reaction.

I forgot that she is someone who gets shy easily.

“Uchuchu.. Is our little yerinnie shy?” I a bit.

“Yah oppa!” she look up at me, face scrunch up, furious from being teased by me.

Cute.

I can just laugh looking at her. She started to chase me around the room and the both of us ran around like little kids, laughing and smiling.

“Ahem ahem!”

The both of us froze in our position and look at the door.

Standing there were the entire Cube family. They were smiling at some of them were chuckling at us. Yerin being Yerin who was shy, hid behind me, not wanting to face them.

“I see someone is happy now! No more of those sulky face in Cube!” Gayoon teased me.

“Yah! I was always happy ok? And Dooj, I know this was all your idea. Just wait leader-nim!”

“Uh-Uh.. At least I create a happy couple right?”

I just smile listening to Doojoon calling us a couple.

My birthday is now complete. I have my Cube family with me and most importantly I have the girl I love the most beside me on this special day, for the rest of my life.

Song Yerin. Born on 3 March 1993. 21 years old. A trainee that used to be in Cube entertainment until she left to pursue her studies without saying inforing me, without saying goodbye to me. The day we won our first win for Beautiful night at Music Bank, that same day, Song Yerin went away from my life without my permission.  But today on this day, on this special day for me, the day I was born into this world 24 years ago, she came back into my life, securing a place in my heart, promise to never leave me ever again.

I bring the girl who had her head on my shoulder, sleeping, closer to me. My hands hugging her petite body, my head leaning against hers.

I look at the girl who was sleeping soundly, tired from the day’s activities. I promise to never hurt her. To not break her heart.

Song Yerin, you’re like a caffeine. You’re bad for me but you keep me awake, keep me going, high on adrenaline rush.

Things might be hard for us now but no matter what happen, I promise to never leave you. I promise to stay by your side, protecting you.

I love you. I love you Song Yerin.