“Why did you choose this job? I’m sure being a doctor isn’t what you wanted.” Jaejoong asked one day, just like that, out of the blue. Their conversations always started like that—an out of the blue question. “You look…confined.” It was unexpected—really unexpected.

“You’re right; being a doctor wasn’t what I wanted to do. Maybe a pianist—I was a great pianist, or maybe a landscape photographer.” You replied with a slight smile. It was a warm June day, the sun was bright and yellow, and the children were out of school, wasting their time away on laptops and other digital devices. Jaejoong seemed so weak, so pale. So fragile and—he looks like death with unhealthy pink cheeks and a coughing symptom.

“Your parents didn’t like it?” Jaejoong was coughing again, his knuckles turning white, gripping the blankets so tightly. He was in pain, you could tell, and this wasn’t supposed to be happening so soon. Maybe it’ll be less than three months.

“No—this sounds silly, but it was for my first love. Chasing down dream butterflies during daylight, you know?” Jaejoong was now laughing and coughing at the same time. It didn’t work very well, as he ended up doubling over in pain, but soon his coughing cleared.

“It’s not silly. I’m exactly the same, after all.” His eyes were distant again, and you couldn’t tell whether or not he was even listening anymore. His voice didn’t sound bitter—not at all, he sounded like he was reminiscing good times and wasn’t bothered by the thought at all. “But people have reasons; they all have their own paths. We’re just lucky to have their roads intersect ours.” You had to leave afterwards, but his words echoed in your head all day long.

“People have reasons.” You had one too.

Title: Figureless Butterflies

Author: sporkerism

Rating: PG 13

Genre: Death, first love, heavy angst, romance, life.

Pairing: YunJae and slight OCxKai

Warning: , bordering suicidal, is suicidal, I don't even know anymore. This story is based on death, basically.

Length: 6/6 chapters, 16,793 words total.

Credits:  decrypting » ( poster café | open )

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For Misty, who withered away with winter and will remain an event in my past. I hope you have a good life and I'm here to bind our loose experiences together with words that mean nothing yet everything. Only you will get the jokes (or not, you're quite clueless). These were some things I never got to say to you because I'm a coward who couldn't say yes.

Thank you for being a great friend.

-Star