Chapter 3

The Ticking Clock That Does Not Stop

The Ticking Clock that Doesn't Stop: 
Unfinished Love Confessions

9:45 P.M. November 2, 2014
20 hours and 15 minutes remaining

"What are you staring at?" Changmin looked at Yunho out of curiousity. Ever since they got on this stupid plane the man sat across from him and took out a piece of paper from his wallet and stared at it for the longest time now. "You're wasting your time looking at that. Why can't you do something productive?"

"I did many productive things today," Yunho stated.

To be honest, he was really scared about his death at first when he first found out about it. But after spending time with Changmin once again, he just forgot about everything else, even his fears.

"Productive things my . A walk with me, a date with me, a ride on a roller coaster with me, making fun of me, lunch with me, eating ice cream with me..." Changmin kept on listing everything that they did today. It was weird how he remembered everything. "How is that productive?"

"Not to you, but to me apparently," Yunho smiled at him. "And I told you already, as long as beside me then I'm not wasting time."

"Stop with that ..." the taller man got irritated and started to roll his eyes. It was always that line. What's so good about spending time with a reaper who will take your life anyway? "Whatever. If you're so bored that you'd rather stare at a piece of paper then just go to sleep."

"I don't want to."

"Shouldn't you be tired already? You're looking more half dead than usual," Changmin told him.

"Well, I do find it hard to breathe right now," Yunho groggily said. "But the pain in my chest is endurable because of that medicine you gave me. I wonder what it is."

"Nothing human's can make," Changmin quickly answered. "Just please do go to sleep. It'll cause me less trouble. I can't let you die a second before your actual time comes or else I'll fail."

"I can't... I don't want to go to sleep," Yunho was still arguing back. He smiled again making a fine line with his lips.

It only pissed Changmin off because that guy was really unaffected about his death. What's even worse was that, this crazy man is smiling while looking at a piece of rectangular paper. Was that piece of paper really that amusing? He got curious.

"Show me what you're staring at," he finally asked.

Yunho stared dumbfoundedly at Changmin who held out his hands for that paper.

For many seconds, they both just stared at each other as if they were having a contest. Yunho didn't want to show it and it was written on his face.

"I get it," Changmin rolled his eyes once more. "Private piece of paper right?"

Yunho nodded and placed the paper back into his pocket which only made Changmin scoff retreating his hands.

"I'll just go to sleep," Yunho finally said. "But sit here beside me."

"Why?" Changmin asked. "I'm comfortable enough as it is."

"Can my reason also stay private?" Yunho asked.

"You know I'd love to say no to you one day," Changmin sighed as he stood up rashly sitting beside the empty chair beside Yunho.

Yunho silently mumbled, "Thanks Changmin-ah."

Once Changmin was comfortable again, the pale man just placed his own head on his shoulders and let the darkness completely take over his vision-- His sickness and pain gradually getting cast aside.

The reaper didn't know how to react. As hard as he tried to look away from the man's face who was really close to his own, he failed. Ever since he got here, he felt a sence of tranquility and familiarity with this man. But he didn't know why. He didn't even know and even care about this man from the start.

***************

10:17 P.M. November 2, 2014
19 hours and 43 minutes remaining

In this lifeless and pointless world, Changmin always watched over everything his eyes could see.

He didn't see why people cherish their own lives so much. Did he even like the life he lived before? He was a human after all.

What makes life so precious?

What do people want from their small pety lives?

These were questions his oblivious mind couldn't answer.

"You...You can't die..." Yunho started mumbling.

Changmin looked at the right on his shoulder where Yunho's head was lying. "Are you stupid? Us reapers can't die unless--" He stopped speaking realizing that the other man was just talking in his sleep. "How stupid."

"Changmin-ah... you can't die... We still need to..."

"What the hell...?" He's dreaming about me? Changmin raised his brow.

"No... You can still make it," he continually said over and over again. "Stay.. with me."

"What nice facial expressions," Changmin smiled. "At least in your dreams you can show these feelings. You should just sleep more then."

"No!" Yunho yelled out loud as he snapped his head forward his eyes wide open. Changmin stared at Yunho's agonized face.

"Nightmare?" Changmin he finally asked pretending not to have heard anything.

Yunho clutched his chest and waited until his breathing became regular.

"If you could call watching your lover die a nightmare then yes," Yunho answered as he massaged his temples to calm himself down. "It's good I can hear your voice first. It calms me."

"Was this your past?" Changmin questioned again out of curiosity. "Did he happen to have the same name as me?"

"How did you--?" Yunho's vision snapped towards the taller man.

"I was just guessing," Changmin used that answer against him which only made the man smile in amusement.

"Now you're learning," Yunho replied. He paused for a while. "Yeah, that guy has the same name as you."

"I don't happen to remind you of him do I?" This conversation was getting interesting for Changmin. He was just playing around with Yunho since he really wanted to see what will make this man really angry. It was for his own amusement.

"You do actually, quite a lot," Yunho finally answered which made Changmin's eyes snap to the still half dazed man.

He was confused. From the start he was just playing around but it was really a coincidence that he actually looked like his lover.

"But don't worry, you only remind me of him," Yunho explained,

"So I don't look like him right?" Changmin continued to ask.

"Listen, let's get off this subject," Yunho loked away. He couldn't lie so might as well not answer. Of course, this reaper looked exactly like his lover. He had the same face, the same personality, the same likes and dislikes, the same aura ... everything. He knew this was the Changmin he loved.

"That's no fun," Changmin grinned. Just when he was about to have fun.

"Attention, all passengers, please fasten your seatbelts. We are landing in 10 minutes. Turn off all cellphones and mp3 players until the plane has landed and come to a stop. Hope you have enjoyed your travel with us. We hope to travel with you again.

"Alright, we're almost here," Changmin answered instead. "I still can't believe I'm on a plane with you..." He shook his head in disbelief.

***************

10:49 P.M. November 2, 2014
19 hours and 11 minutes remaining

As they walked down the hallway that connected the plane exit and the airport entrance, Yunho couldn't breathe. His heart started to go out of control once again. It was really bad now. The slightest movement could easily make him tired.

He stopped walking for a while and leaned on the wall for balance.

"Changmin-ah..." Yunho tried to call out to the man walking in front of him with his face the same color as the white tiling of the small hallway. His knees became jelly and so without warning, he fell to the ground without a sound. He couldn't breathe. His chest tightened. Within seconds, his vision fell apart until he lost sight of Changmin once again.

"Yunho, you really do need to spend your time wisely," Chagmin told him still oblivious of what happened. "Trust me. Tomorrow won't be fun for you. But for my own amusement please have normal reactions about your death. Refrain from smiling." He kept on walking expecting Yunho to answer but to his surprise, there was no reply.

Realizing that Yunho wasn't walking with him anymore, the reaper turned around. "Yunho?" He was just in time to see a motionless man lying on the ground. "Yunho? What the hell? Why are you sleeping on the ground?! This isn't the time to go to sleep!"

He took the man and rolled him over to see his face. Yunho was completely unconscious. His face was pale but he was still alive. This guy was seriously freezing cold! He panicked. It wasn't his time yet.

"You need to stop causing trouble for me," Changmin sighed.

Without a choice, he slinged Yunho's baggage around him and carried Yunho on his back to make it look like he's carrying a sleeping man.

He could've just left him there. He could have just waited till someone found him. He could have done so many other things but he chose to get Yunho to his destination. When did he become such a nice guy?

Getting out of the airport, the rain started to pour with great big tears. It was just great timing. "You could have remained conscious till they got to where you wanted to go..." Changmin complained. Now, there was the trouble of finding his home.

How very troublesome.

With the rain pouring hard he had to hurry and find this home and so without hesitation, he took Yunho's thumb and bit a small part of it until it bled. Making sure there was no rain mixed with the blood, he smelled it.

It was always like this. Relatives of the same blood always have the same smell. And as reapers they could tell the great differences within each human's smell of blood. He was like a police dog but a billion times greater.

Getting the scent of what he wanted to find, Changmin made both their bodies and everything he was touching invisible to the eye. And so, for the second time in two days, he transformed again as a reaper. His wide length wings opened graciously. Their form and including his wings were outlined by the raindrops outside of the airport. If anyone would've seen it, they would have thought that they were hallucinating.

Not even seconds have passed, he jumped off the ground and flew in the air with Yunho at his back, following the smell he had found.

Doing all this, Changmin never even dreamed about it. He was going through to too much of great lengths just because of this man. He was way off of his game for this mission by a long shot and he did not like it at all.

***************

1:25 P.M. November 2, 2014
16 hours and 35 minutes remaining

With each passing second, the scent grew stronger and stronger. He was getting close. He could smell it. Right now, because of the pouring rain he might fail his mission. The man's shivering became worse and more noticeable. If they stayed out here any longer, this man might die earlier than he expected and that wouldn't be good. The warmth this guy had today totally had a 360 degree change. It was like a warm coffee turning into ice after a whole day of just under the sun.

Fifteen minutes of searching, Changmin finally got the scent of that blood. It was strong. They were very close now.

"I found it," he finally said as he decended down from the sky. "Yunho, you can't die yet. Remember that." This was really too troublesome. Landing in front of the house door, Changmin immediately dropped Yunho on the ground with his luggage, rang the doorbell and flew off.

It would be best if he wasn't there. It would save him the trouble of explaining everything. So before anyone answered the door, he flew up on the other side of the house street's rooftop. There, he watched the couple move Yunho frantically and with great panic on their faces inside. It must have been his parents.

He liked this sight. He liked seeing people flustered, angered, disappointed and sad. It was his only amusement in his boring reaper's life. Everything was just the same-- waiting for people to die. He liked that idea when people got so desperate to cling on to their petty little lives.

*************

4:37 P.M. November 3, 2014
1 hour and 23 minutes remaining

For the past 13 hours, Changmin stayed in the corner of Yunho's room still invisible where his parents placed him to rest. The whole night, his mother and father didn't even sleep a wink. After finding him unconscious on their door step late at night yesterday, the mother quickly called their local doctor and within moments, he came saying that his condition is at its worst stage and is incurable at this time.

Of course, Changmin knew all of these things way before hand so he just sat there watching as Yunho's mother cried for her son and the father too full of grief to comfort his own wife. This made Changmin's spirits lift up. People's griefs were his own happiness. He craved it like how a baby loved to drink its mother's milk.

At this time though, the parents, without getting any sleep last night finally fell asleep at the other room with worried hearts. For the whole night, they refused to rest until Yunho's condition was at least stable.

There was only a little over an hour left and this happy guy is still unconscious.

"What a waste..." Changmin mumbled out loud as he closed his eyes and yawned. He didn't get any sleep because of those great facial expressions last night. He was about to get up to go out and get some sleep for a bit but he was stopped.

A hand suddenly reached out for his pinky, grabbing his own attention.

"I told you..." Yunho said, his face still pale and his lips still light pink, "it's not a waste of time as long as you're here beside me."

"You're almost dead," Changmin scoffed. "Just lie on your bed now so you don't cause me any more trouble."

"Where am I?" Yunho asked. He hoped he didn't sleep too long. "What's the time?"

"You're resting at your parent's house. You only need to stop moving and just go to sleep. If you do, you won't be able to feel the pain when you die."

"How much time do I have left?" Yunho asked as his smile suddenly disappeared. It was getting harder to breathe and everything just felt cold. He was freezing even though the sun outside seemed to have shined its brightest.

"The sun is about to set," Changmin replied. "You only have a little over an hour left."

"That's impossible," Yunho suddenly got up only finding himself falling on the pillow again because of the sudden rush of blood.

"I told you, you wasted it," Changmin replied to him making him feel worse as it is. "So all you need to do is waste it some more by sleeping. I've gotten into too much trouble just because of you."

"Then if something happens to me," Yunho took a breath. "Don't even bother bringing me back here."

"..." No reply. Instead, Changmin just looked the other way.

"Can you at least do me a favor?" Yunho pleaded. "My last selfish request out of you?"

Changmin being easily stirred by Yunho, he looked at him. "What do you want?" He asked.

"Can you take me somewhere without me getting seen by my parents?"

"And here I thought you were going to ask for an extra lifespan," Changmin rolled his eyes. "You're really no fun."

Yunho looked down. He had no more energy to smile or even lift his head up.

"Get on my back," Changmin finally offered, deciding to help him.

"Thanks..."

Before getting on, Yunho took something out from the pocket of his jacket. Changmin saw that and got irritated. It was that piece of paper again that he was happily staring inside the plane.

What was so great about that paper anyways? He always kept it with him ever since that plane ride.

***************

5:05 P.M. November 3, 2014
55 minutes remaining

"An oak tree?" Changmin questioned as Yunho told him to land at that place. "What's so special about this place?"

"This place..." Yunho answered, reminscing about the past, "this is where that Changmin died from a chest wound five years ago."

This place brought back painful and yet so memorable memories in his life that he didn't want to forget. From the last time he has been here, it has become even more beautiful than before. The road beside this tree was now paved nicely and there were more people enjoying themselves playing frisbee and socceer.

"A great place to die I guess..." Changmin said in a monotone voice. He really didn't care at all by this point. He just wanted to get this troublesome mission over and done with. Last night's drama filled his cravings up to 100%. It was good enough.

They landed under the tree not visible to anyone at all so Changmin never bothered to retract his wings. No one was even 10 meters of their reach. Both sat on the ground with Changmin using the tree for his back support. He let Yunho rest under his wing.

"You're actually very boring..." Changmin started the conversation.

"Tell me something I never heard before," Yunho replied. His eyes were too tired to open so he kept them closed. He was cold. Very cold. Everything felt so heavy. Everything felt so blurred. He didn't like it.

"This is the time where I want the clock to fast forward so I can get this over and done with," Changmin added on.

"Did you at least have fun spending time with me?" Yunho asked gently and softly.

"Of course not," Changmin didn't even think about his answer. "They were all favors that you've asked me to do for you. I don't have a heart remember? I'm a reaper."

Yunho finally spoke up. "Do your hands eventually warm up on cold days?"

"Yes." Changmin answered not knowing where this conversation will lead to

"Did you get tired carrying me yesterday?" Another question came up.

Changmin nodded.

"Do you bleed when you get cut?"

"Yes. And why are you asking these questions?" Changmin irritatedly answered.

"As a cardiac surgeon," Yunho took a deep breath in. He even found it tiring just to be talking in full sentences. "I can tell you that these are signs of a beating heart. A heart circulates blood in our body and also distributes oxygen to our muscles. Bleeding and getting tired would be signs of a heart working."

"Don't use science on me," Changmin argued back.

"Hehehe..." Yunho laughed without energy. "Have you ever felt your heart beat Changmin?" Yunho asked him. "If it feels anything like this..." he grabbed Changmin's hand that was right beside him and placed it on his chest, "...then you do have a heart. That I'm very sure."

For sure, Changmin felt it. It thumped so loudly like it was about to burst out of his chest.

Did he have that too?

"So tell me about your lover Changmin," the reaper asked not being able to stand this shapeless feeling inside his chest. He felt Yunho adjust his position under his wing.

"Well.. he was..." Yunho thought, "He was tall, handsome, intelligent... He had brown hair, loved to sleep and could sleep wherever he wanted to..."

Changmin laughed. It sounded like Yunho was describing him instead.

"He was easily amused, doesn't show his feelings a lot and ... he was the only person who can't deny each and everyone of my requests."

"You douche," Changmin stopped him. "I didn't tell you to describe me."

This time, it was Yunho's turn to laugh.

**********

5:57 P.M. November 3, 2014
3 minutes remaining

Both were quiet for a while. Nobody spoke. To Yunho, feeling this man's company was enough to make him feel safe and sound. He wanted to stay like this longer. For today, at this time, he wanted to stop the clock from ticking. He wanted everything to pause so that he can savor this moment in time much longer than what he has left. Changmin's warmth, his smell -- it was nice to feel it once more. Tears started to flow down his eyes. Too bad he would be the one leaving this time.

"Changmin..." Yunho said lifelessly. "My time's... almost... up right?" He shivered as the wind blew past them.

Time wouldn't stop. He knew it wouldn't. Even though he's gone, time will always keep on moving. It will never stop.

"Yeah," the emotionless man answered as he stared out into the sunset. It was slowly going down as the clock ticked and ticked meaning the passing of time.

"Say..." Yunho breathed in another gasp of air. "If you happen... to meet Changmin around in the afterlife or something...please tell him that Jung Yunho says I love you and that I know what he meant even though he never finished what he tried to tell me before he died And tell him that I give him this...." He waved his arms trying to tell Changmin to come closer.

Understanding what Yunho was trying to tell him, the reaper drew his face nearer to Yunho's own until he could feel the other man's breath on his skin. It was the first time their faces were this close. How long did this last? Changmin's thoughts were broken the other man started to speak.

"Tell him, Changmin-ah that I gave..." Yunho's eyes squinted in pain. It was too much to bear for his body to handle. "that I gave him this..."

With his remaining strength, Yunho lifted his head and gave Changmin a kiss on the lips.

Of course, the reaper was surprised. What was this man thinking? He only had approximately ten seconds left and yet he was able to land a kiss on his lips...It felt weird. His body wasn't acting normal. He was confused. This kiss made butterflies flutter inside his body.

He counted the seconds remaining. There wasn't much time left anyways.

"You're losing it," Changmin told Yunho as the man broke their kiss. Their faces were still a breath away to each other.

Yunho looked away now. He couldn't bear the pain anymore. Whatever he felt increase by a hundred fold. What's even worse was that he warmth he felt beside him vanished as Changmin stood up blocking his blurred out view of the setting sun.

"Time's up Yunho," he spoke as he aimed for the very center of Yunho's soul. "I actually did have fun with you. It's been nice seeing your agonizing face for the last time."

Even from the pain he felt, Yunho smiled like he accomplished something. The last thing he saw was the figure of the man whom he once and still loved. At least he was able to find the whole point of him living here once again.

"How troublesome..." Changmin said as he watched the man fall lifelessly to the ground with a small thud. "I told you not to smile while you're dying. Now you're going to cause me trouble again by bringing your body home. I really don't know what to do with you." He sighed.

************

6:45 P.M. November 3, 2014

Changmin rang the doorbell of Yunho's home as a human being who carried Yunho bridal style. It was opened by his mother who just stared not at Yunho but he himself wide eyed.

He was confused.

"Changmin?!" Yunho's mother yelled out. "You--"

What the hell? She knew his name?

"Sorry ma'am, how do you know my name?" the reaper asked. This was total deja vu with Yunho when they first met. How did they know my name? "I found your son's body under the oak tree. His heart isn't beating anymore though..."

Yunho's father came surprised to see Yunho lifeless on the man's arms. "Yunho-ah!" He quickly grabbed a hold of his son and shook him on Changmin's arms.

The mother just stood by the door. "It can't be... You..."

Changmin noticed that the mother was talking to him and not to her son. He looked at her.

"You died five years ago!" she cried out loud and fainted. She wasn't able to take in everything and just out on the spot.

'How did she know I died five years ago?'

"Leave us be..." Mr. Jung told him not looking at his face. "Put him down..."

"As you wish," Changmin obeyed. As he did so, he noticed that piece of paper sticking out of Yunho's jacket pocket. It was the same one he was staring at on the plane with a smiling face. Out of curiosity, he took it secretly not looking at it quite yet.

With this, he turned around and walked away closing the door behind him. "Bye bye Jung Yunho." He said as he walked out. Everything he experienced with this man was actually quite fun. But things do come to an end and that guy's end already came.

Changmin walked down the steps of the house. Reaching the last step, he flipped the piece of paper he took wondering what it was that made Jung Yunho so happy.

It took him only five seconds to process everything. His calm expression turned into shock. His feet were suddenly glued to the ground making him immobile.

"No way..." Changmin's chest went wild like an animal again. He felt a huge lump on his throat that he couldn't get out.

This piece of paper... it wasn't just a piece of paper. It was a picture-- a picture of Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho. Everything just fell on him like an atomic bomb.

He realized a fact.

He... was Shim Changmin. Huge blobs of tears came uncontrollably out of his system.

Why was he crying?

Flashback:

"Min!" Yunho crouched on the ground.

They were under the same oak tree from before.

"Min! Hold on. Let me get you to a hospital," Yunho held his gun shot wound. "You should have just let that go! You shouldn't be all nice all the time and rescue people who you think are in trouble!"

Changmin coughed out blood.

"Damn it Changmin," Yunho cried. "Stay with me, okay? You'll be fine once we get you into a hospital. I'll perform your operation myself!"

"Yunho..." the half dying man smiled. "I don't think I can... I'm sorry for causing you trouble like this."

"Shut up!" Yunho said angrily. "You can't die yet! We have so much things to do together."

"Listen, Yunho-ah," Changmin gripped those hands that were clutching his chest wound. "I'll come look for you even if I die."

"You can't do this to me! And that's not possible!" Yunho let go of his wound and grabbed his face so that they could keep their eye contact.

"Yunho," Changmin said in a weak voice. His eyes fluttering, fighting to stay open. "I'll be fine... don't worry. This stupid me will find a way."

The crying man was going crazy. Covered with blood he tried to stop the wound from bleeding. "Keep your eyes open! You will be--" He stopped.

"I know... it's too late to say this now," he paused and coughed out blood some more, "but I lo... love," Changmin lost his breath leaving Yunho all by himself crying. He never finished his confession.

"Changmin-ah!" Yunho let go of everything and hugged the man. "You crazy stupid fool!" He screamed out in agony.

End of Flasback

Tears wouldn't stop flowing for some reason. Shim Changmin was truly him. These were his memories. So all this time...

There was no way this was happening.

In frantic, he teleported himself to the world of the reapers. Everything there was still. Everything was dull. Maybe he would find his source of serenity here. And so reaching there, he quickly got onto his knees and fell. Tears started to fall out of his eyes. He was crying and he couldn't believe it.

Memories that he had long forgotten came back in pieces making him understand everything else-- even his feelings.

Flashback:

"Here you go Changmin!" Yunho skipped to him. "I brought you cookies and cream ice cream."

"Thanks!" his old self seemed to have said. "I love this ice cream."

"Then I'll buy this for you even when we die."

"Stupid," Changmin laughed. "You can't eat ice cream when you're a ghost."

"Well as long as you can eat the ice cream I'll keep buying cookies and cream for you."

Both laughed.

End of Flashback

Was that why...? That man knew his likes... his dislikes. He knew. That's why before that stupid man died today he said those things and kissed him! Was that Yunho's answer to his unfinished confession?

Flashback:

Changmin drew his face closer to Yunho following what he's trying to say. But he only ended up being kissed by the other man.

He heard him say before he died.

"I wish to have been able to spend more time with you..." Jung Yunho lifted his head meeting Changmin's eyes. I love you from the very bottom of my heart, Shim Changmin."

End of Flashback

That man... he was fooled by this Jung Yunho right until the end. There was no way...

He punched the dirt with his own fists.

"Changmin-ah..." a voice came from out of nowhere. "You weren't careful enough."

"Shut up Jaejoong," he angrily replied back.

"Look at yourself... you're a mess," Jaejoong looked at him with disappointment as Changmin's body started to turn into mixed ashes and dust.

"What's happening?" Changmin got up from the ground and looked at his disappearing fingers. He started to shake.

"You fell in love didn't you?" Jaejoong asked yet he knew the answer. "This is the fate of the reapers when they fall in love."

Changmin's frantic expression turned into a smile. "I actually did huh?" He finally said. "That man really did cause me a whole load of trouble until the end."

"That's what I think too," Jaejoong moved closer to Changmin.

"Do you want to know something Jaejoong?" the taller man asked as the rest of his body started to fly away like dust.

Changmin looked at the picture he held for the one last time. If only they could repeat what they have had. If only time stopped or even went backwards...If it did, they would have been able to repeat their whole life again with no regrets.

"Entertain me for the rest of your time here," Jaejoong replied as he sat down.

"Did you know that that even us reapers..." His body was rapidly disappearing and by the time he was in the middle of his sentence, only his face was now left. "...have beating hearts?"

The piece of paper that he once held now flew away from his grasp along with his own body in the form of dust. Until the end, these ashes surrounded the picture like it was some sort of a precious item.

Jaejoong turned around from the scene and smiled. "In another lifetime, I wish for your love life to succeed. Bye bye, Changmin." He said as he walked off in what seemed like a never ending pathway.

Fin.