A/N: I was rereading an old favourite fic with the most hilarious IM conversations ever and it inspired me to write one of my own.

ihatecucumbers: so there was this new girl in math today

prettyinpink: and???

ihatecucumbers: and she invented pi what do u think i was going to say

prettyinpink: i’m pretty sure pi has already been invented

prettyinpink: or rather discovered

ihatecucumbers: ur so lame how do u even

prettyinpink: okay so there was a new girl

prettyinpink: is she pretty??

ihatecucumbers: ofc since when do i talk about non pretty girls

prettyinpink: idk maybe you grew out of your shallow worldview

prettyinpink: and started to appreciate inner beauty

ihatecucumbers: i appreciate inner beauty. some girls look really pretty inside. esp when im inside them

prettyinpink: oh my gawd jessi

ihatecucumbers: anyway her name is taeyeon and she looks all innocent and cute and i heard shes a rly good singer

ihatecucumbers: u know what they say abt singers ;)))

prettyinpink: i can’t even talk to you

ihatecucumbers: and the innocent looking ones always surprise you

prettyinpink: so you met a girl and you want to screw her

prettyinpink: and here i thought today was going to be different

ihatecucumbers: today WAS different. there was a new lunch lady and she put pickles in my burger and i almost threw up

ihatecucumbers: i was this close to going home

prettyinpink: oh you poor thing

ihatecucumbers: but good thing i didnt cuz i wouldd have missed math

ihatecucumbers: and taeyeon

prettyinpink: don’t you have a test coming up?

ihatecucumbers: geez tiff ur such a killjoy

prettyinpink: somebody has to remind you there are more things to life than girls

ihatecucumbers: there are also more colours in the world than pink

prettyinpink: …

prettyinpink: that was a pretty lame comeback

ihatecucumbers: i know

ihatecucumbers: give me a break im lustsick

prettyinpink: what on earth is lustsick?!??

ihatecucumbers: you know, like lovesick but with lust

prettyinpink: LMAOOOOO

prettyinpink: oh noooo that sounds serious

prettyinpink: do you need to see the doctor

ihatecucumbers: i dont like doctors

ihatecucumbers: or needles

ihatecucumbers: or swallowing pills

prettyinpink: the list of things you don’t like could be made into a book

ihatecucumbers: be careful or ull end up on it

prettyinpink: oh i’m not worried

prettyinpink: you can’t live without me

ihatecucumbers: yeah cuz i need ur hwk to copy

prettyinpink: don’t tempt me to cut you off

prettyinpink: i don’t get how you never do your hwk and sleep your way through class and always end up with straight As

ihatecucumbers: sry i cant reveal my ways

ihatecucumbers: but i appreciate the hwk copying, ty

ihatecucumbers: omg that reminds me of taeyeon

prettyinpink: and here she goes…

ihatecucumbers: no srsly i tried to talk to her but my tongue cramped up

prettyinpink: can tongues even cramp?

ihatecucumbers: yeah didnt u always complain abt urs cramping when u went down on me for too long

prettyinpink: OKAY TMI

ihatecucumbers: wdym too much info

ihatecucumbers: u were there for it

ihatecucumbers: u werent shy when u were doing it

prettyinpink: JESSICA JUNG

prettyinpink: SHUT UP

ihatecucumbers: what just bc we dont do that anymore means i cant even mention it??

prettyinpink: SERIOUSLY CAN YOU JUST STOP TALKING

prettyinpink: TYPING*

prettyinpink: JUST STOP IT

ihatecucumbers: okay okay geez

ihatecucumbers: isnt it enough u yell when ur talking, do u have to YELL THROUGH CAPS TOO

prettyinpink: i hate you

prettyinpink: why are we even friends

ihatecucumbers: because i was the only one who understood ur horrible korean when you moved here

prettyinpink: my korean was not horrible

prettyinpink: i just had a bit of an accent okay

ihatecucumbers: uh huh

ihatecucumbers: mushroom

prettyinpink: seriously i hate you

ihatecucumbers: u love me

prettyinpink: with the passion of a thousand suns

ihatecucumbers: <3

prettyinpink: ooh vampire diaries is on, gotta go, ttyl!

ihatecucumbers: kay have fun drooling over damon

ihatecucumbers: or is it stefan now??

prettyinpink: geez jessi how many times have i told you

prettyinpink: it’s klaus all the way

ihatecucumbers: how do u expect me to rmb

ihatecucumbers: u switch celeb crushes every other day

ihatecucumbers: anyway lbr caroline is so much hotter

prettyinpink has logged off

A/N: You can read the completed fic here.