A/N: Inspired by this clip. I can't get over how embarrassing Tiffany is lmao. This has been in my Google Docs for ages and I thought I'd write more of it but I doubt it. (Same with Hollywood AU in the previous chapter haha.) Anyway, I thought I'd post what I have so far.

The title is from Juliet's famous lines "What's in a name? that which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet" in Act 2, Scene 2. Idk I think it works well with Tiffany vs. Stephanie. Speaking of titles, this was saved as "JeTi Romeo and Juliet AU" in my Google docs, with the subtitle being "I miss JeTi so here goes nothing."

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”

“He’s not here,” comes a short reply and Tiffany’s so startled she almost drops her script.

It’s not Romeo, of course. Or Benvolio for that matter. It’s—

“Jessi,” Tiffany whines. “You’re getting in the way of my rehearsing.”

Her best friend and roommate doesn’t look the slightest bit guilty. “And you’re getting in the way of my sleep.”

“You’re always sleeping!”

“And you’re always rehearsing.”

“I really want to get this part,” Tiffany says, fingers tightening on the thick sheaf of papers in her hand. She has highlighter and ink stains all over her fingers and palm, as well as paper cuts and nails gnawed down to the quick. She hopes that Juliet doesn’t have to have beautiful hands. Then again, Romeo wants to be a glove on her hand so. She’d probably put that Twilight cover hand model to shame.

Jessica’s face softens. “I know you do, but you’ve just been saying that line over and over again. Is your whole audition that line? I know it’s probably the most famous one from the play but—”

“Of course my audition isn’t just that line!”

“Well then, why don’t you continue?” Jessica clears . “O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer—” She breaks off at the look on Tiffany’s face. “What? Did I get something wrong?”

“No,” Tiffany says slowly. “You didn’t.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you didn’t get anything wrong. How do you know that much?”

 “I studied Romeo and Juliet in high school like every other teenager.”

“Yeah, but. You remember it verbatim.”

“I have a good memory. Unlike Romeo. One look at Juliet and he forgot all about Rosaline.”

“He couldn’t help it, it was love at first sight,” Tiffany says earnestly.

“More like infatuation at first sight,” Jessica snorts. “Romeo and Juliet weren’t an example of true love but the foolishness infatuation drives youth to.”

Tiffany frowns. “They’re one of the most famous stories of romance in Western literature.”

“To which youth are driven, I should say,” Jessica corrects herself like Tiffany hadn’t spoken. “You’re not supposed to end sentences with prepositions and all that.”

“How can you say that about Romeo and Juliet?” Tiffany asks, aghast.

Jessica shrugs. “I’m far from the only one who’s saying it.”

“But—”

“Look Tiff, I’m not saying it’s not a great work. It is, it’s not famous for nothing. But it’s not as…romantic a story as I think it’s made out to be.”

“I know many people think that Shakespeare was being satirical when he wrote it.” Tiffany has done her research. “That he was mocking love. But I don’t think it means that kind of love doesn’t exist.”

“Of course you don’t,” Jessica says, but somehow it isn’t mocking. “You’re a romantic.”

Tiffany frowns. “Is that so bad?”

“It’s not bad,” Jessica says. “It’s just… What if you don’t find your Romeo?”

“Didn’t you hear me calling for him?”

Jessica snorts. “I think the whole world heard you.”

“Well, there,” Tiffany says. “I’m sure he’s part of the world so he heard me too.”

Jessica gives a small smile. “Well, I hope you story will be happier than Roliet’s.”

Tiffany blinks. “Roliet’s?”

“Well, I don’t want to say ‘Romeo and Juliet’ all the time. What a mouthful. I’m going to call them by their ship name.”

“They have a…ship name?”

“I’m giving them one,” Jessica says, like that’s all there is to it. “You don’t like Roliet? How about…Jumeo?”

Tiffany wrinkles her nose. “That sounds like a granola brand or something.”

Jessica laughs. “Roliet it is.”

“I think Shakespeare is probably turning in his grave right now.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t oppose some creativity,” Jessica says with an airy wave of her hand. “He’d probably be flattered.”

Tiffany smiles. “I’m sure.”

Bonus:

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

“Bounty always reminds me of the paper towel brand,” Jessica says idly.

Tiffany groans. “Is this your purpose in life? To pick apart every line of this play so I can’t rehearse?”

Jessica just smiles. “You know what they say – if you can’t do, teach.”

“Is this what you’re doing? Teaching me?”

“I didn’t get to finish my sentence. And if you can’t teach, criticize.”

Tiffany can’t help a laugh at that. “You should be a critic, then. I think you have a gift for it.”

“Hmm, no thanks. Then I have to go study works in detail. I’m really not interested enough to do that.”

“You’re interested enough to pick apart Romeo and Juliet in detail.”

“That’s because it’s your favourite play,” Jessica says.

And for once, Tiffany doesn’t know what to say.