Chapter 1: Mmh, the story's okay. I mean, I predicted that he was in love with this Seohyin girl but I didn't know that they kept in touch until the very end. /nods/
...If you want some constructive criticism, there's some here for you. If you don't want it... I guess you should just skip the rest of my soon-to-be lengthy comment. ^^;
When one writes the word (to) and places an action word after it (push, glare, pass), it is simply written like this. (to push, to glare, to pass). Even if you're writing in past tense - which I think you intended to do, but you kind of mixed present tense in this too... - the words remain like that. For example, (The moment she realized that she was underwater, she began to panic because she could not swim. So you see, it's /to panic/ and not /to panicked/. ^^)
I'm not here to say your story was bad or anything synonymous to that okay? ;A; I was just giving my honest opinion. (: Here, have a cookie. If you decided to read this whole thing and your feelings were hurt by the insensitive me. ;~;
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