Chapter One: A Not-So-Normal Day in the Life of a Homeless Young Woman

SQUISH

I lifted my flip-flop, revealing the unrecognizable body of a cocoa roach, making me sigh and whisper an apology at the flattened insect, “Mianhae, little one, but you scared me…” I hated killing anything, it always made me feel so guilty, but I should come to terms that I don’t want to catch a disease…

How ironic to be worrying about that.

I chuckled bitterly at the thought, slipping on my beat up flip-flop back on my foot, then sitting up to wake up a bit. It was still early morning, but the subway was already busy, packed with busy business men and women, some with briefcases in their hands and cell phones glued to their ear.

My eye then looked down to the object laying in my hand- my phone. Of course, it no longer worked, but I knew that the pictures of happy memories and songs that once brought me joy were locked up in there somewhere, waiting to be freed. I could never bring myself to throw it out, it had too many precious things on the inside that I longed to reach again, and I, a fool, still had the hope that one day it may magically turn back on to reveal its secrets once again to me.

“Wah, she’s so young,” I could hear in the distance, making me crack a smile slightly, looking up to at least try and find the owner of the voice to offer them a smile and not have them worry about me. Sure, I had it bad, but there were still people who had it worse off than me. “Oh Goodness! She’s blind.. Don’t look at her, baby.”

I could feel tears want to show themselves, but I shook them away. I couldn’t help the truth. I was blind in one eye, my left eye to be clear. Ha.

Yes, I am still able to find humor in my condition, but it’s not like it’ll be the death of me- or it could be, I don’t know. I haven’t been to a doctor in so long and the last time I went, they had told me that the lights just decided to shut off on my left eye. Most people would fall into depression, but I couldn’t let that happen. I had to keep the silver-lining in view: At least I was still alive. So instead of sadness, humor took its place to at least see happiness in the one eye I had available. That’s all I wanted to see: happiness.

But of course, being a semi-handicap person, it was difficult holding up a job. I’d cause accidents and harm myself, once being the time I placed my hand on a burner in the kitchen of a restaurant I was working in, causing 2^nd degree burns from how much pressure I had put in my hand to the surface.

Now, there was just a thin layer of light purple that took the place where the burn was located. To me, it just looked like a glove- a glove I couldn’t take off. I smiled as I looked down at my hand, then standing up, ready for a breakfast of whatever God would bless me with for the day.

The torn up jeans I was wearing showed off my un-cleaned knees and unshaven legs, a layer of dirt caking over my skin, a tear running from the bottom of my knee to the mid-point of my calf. I wore a white blouse, dirt and stains splattered here and there, a tear also present on each side of the , making the flow of cool air even over my body, making me feel like I wasn’t wearing anything.

My long brown hair was pulled back loosely in a ponytail, dirt and oil and bits of small pieces of paper were stuck in it, making it look like a bird’s nest. I crossed the street safely and ran to the garbage bin available there, my ponytail swinging slightly, hitting my shoulders gently.

I dug through the garbage and found a half-eaten pizza and a bitten-into apple. I smiled at the treasures I had found and found my way to the subway again, curling into a side of the building, my eye taking in the look of the half-eaten pizza and fruit, my mouth salivating at the very thought of how it would taste.

Just as I was about to take a bite of the pizza, I could feel eyes on me, but not the usual ones. Not the sort of ones that would stare down at me and the filth I brought upon this society, it seemed like sympathy and pain was behind it. I turned in search of the eyes, and locked with a handsome, clean, and stoic man.

I swallowed my saliva, suddenly feeling disgusted with myself with what I was going to put into my body. I placed the pizza down, shoving it and the fruit aside and turning my back to the man, facing the wall and hoping he’d avert his gaze like every other civilian in this town.

Moments passed, clicking of heels and squeaky shoes continued to pass by me with no acknowledgment, until I heard a voice directed to me, “Excuse me?” I turned my blind eye to him, thinking he’d be scared away, but he kept his ground, “Excuse me?”

A moment of silence settled until he spoke again, “I won’t leave until you look at me, miss.” I could feel my body freeze at this, but shook it off before nodding and slowly turning to face the direction of the man, but not looking directly at him. I could see a small smile tug at his lips, the only thing I could really see of this man’s face.

“Well, thank you for finally looking at me, miss,” I nodded in response slightly, not sure if he had caught it. It had been a while since I had talked with another person, besides, I could only imagine how horrid my breath smelt now. You know, with the lack of hygiene, money and water to get a proper brush, none the less, a bath.

“You’re quite beautiful,” This is what caught my attention, making my eyes look up at him, but only being able to process one side of his face. He was very handsome, a coaxing smile and his scent was something I could no longer decipher if it was cologne or his natural scent. His eyes then locked onto my blind eye, the only way I knew was by the way he cupped my cheek and brushed the cheekbone below my left eye, sympathy playing in his eyes.

I pulled myself away from him slightly, looking down at the cement floor, my knees already pulled up to my chest in an attempt to hide from this man, “I don’t need your sympathy, mister,” I found myself whispering out to him.

In his response, I could tell a smile had pulled back onto his face, “You’re a strong woman. How long have you been out here?” I let my eyes wander to the shop down the way, mumbling,

“More than 2 years.”

He then sat in front of me, in a suit and legs crisscrossed, eyes looking me over, “My name is Myungsoo,” He bowed his head slightly to me, grabbing my attention.

I stayed quiet a moment before whispering, “Minny.”

“Wah, that’s a pretty name, Minny,” My eyes looked up to him as I murmured a thank you, then looking back to the ground in front of me.

“So, tell me about yourself, Minny,” He said, now pulling his own knees against his chest, resting his chin on his knee to keep himself up right. I really couldn’t tell what game he was playing. Usually, no one would stop to talk to a filthy person loitering around the walls of the subway. Every now and then a child might wander over to us, curious about our appearance, but their parents would come shortly behind them and snatch away the one little happiness we got.

“What are your dreams?”

This question caught my attention. No one ever asked about our dreams, to them, we were the type of people who no longer had dreams. Who weren’t capable to produce such fantasies when we were in the low rut we were in. To them, we weren’t even humans.

My eyes shot up to the man who sat calmly in front of me, “Why is that any of your concern?” I murmured sharply, yet softly, at him. I was usually kind, but I didn’t know what vibe I was getting from this guy.

He was still fairly young, maybe a little older than me, maybe this was all a game to him.

But from the clothes he was wearing, I could see he might be a respectable man.

I looked away as he answered, “I just want to know. I was once in a position like you’re in now. I got kicked out of my parent’s house because of my behavior- I guess they couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I ended up on the streets. Nowhere near as long as you have, but it seemed like a long time. I was out by myself in the world for about two weeks until a nice man took me in.”

My eyes looked up at him in wonder.

This guy really went through something like that?

From the looks, he would seem like a normal spoiled kid who got everything he wanted when he asked for it with not a single hardship. He was blessed with looks and the body, but maybe he wasn’t what the outside was offering to share about him.

“I lost my eyesight in my left eye a couple years ago…” I could hear my voice, making me blink. I hadn’t even realized I started talking, but I continued, “As you could imagine, things got hard because of that.”

I looked up at him, just to find him listening intently at my story, making me look back down at the cold cement below me as I continued, “I couldn’t keep down a job because I had become a hazard to those around me. I filed for disability, but they think because I can still see through my right eye, I could manage a job.. No one would hire a caution sign like me.”

“I eventually ran out of money, food and yes, clothes. And that left me here, showing me the real people by my side to help me: No one,” I could feel a tear slide down my cheek, but I didn’t want to show this side of me to a stranger. I turned my head to the side, not wanting to earn myself any pity, my cheek on my knee.

“And what are you wanting to do for your future?”

I shrugged slightly, answering the question with ease, “I’ve always dreamt of being a singer or actress. But because of the whole eye problem and ‘homeless-with-no-money’ situation, no one will hire me, none the less scout me. So I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the life that is ahead of me,” I waved a hand slightly to the people walking past us.

“Well, how do you know that?”

I shrugged, “I’ve seen the girls industries and acting coaches look for, and I’m nowhere near what those other girls are.” I was speaking the truth. I mean, I have a visible scar, a blind eye and a lack of a home- who in the right mind would scout me when there are other healthy, pretty girls?

“You don’t have enough faith in you. You just need a little boost, is all,” He smiled to me softly, “And I’ll be the one to offer you that boost.”

I blinked, following his figure as he stood up in front of me, offering his hand to me. My eyes locked on his hand, clueless, then back up at him, not knowing what he expected me to do with his out-stretched hand.

He leant in and grabbed my hand gently, making me think about how long it’s been since I’ve used lotion, “Come with me, I have a place with an extra room. I can help get you back on your feet,” I blinked at him, looking from our hands up to his face, then slightly pulling my hand away.

“You’re crazy, mister,” I mumbled, making him open his arms out slightly.

“I mean it, Minny-ssi. I have an extra room and I can help find you an agent,” He started, an alluring tone to his voice,

“Yah, why would you help me? You don’t even know me,” I simple stated, thinking that would stop the conversation of nonsense he was blabbering about. He shook his head,

“Your name is Minny and you need help getting back on your feet,” He said, crossing his arms, “Do you or do you not want to make your dream come true?”

I chuckled bitterly, “That’s all they are, Myungsoo, dreams. They’ll never happen. The reason a dream is called a dream is to summon hope on a person, in my case, false hope. Fairytales may have happy endings, but there are dreams that you know are just dreams. And mine are one those- a dream with no ending.”

He sighed softly and looked around, “Okay, how about if it doesn’t work out, I’ll at least help you get a stable job somewhere so you aren’t left here, eh? At least let me do that if things don’t go as planned.”

I looked him up and down, not sure if I was ready to put my trust in a guy I had barely met. The offer was tempting, and he seemed sincere with his words. I looked around me, eyeing some fellow under-the-radar-citizens then down at my clothes slightly. I could vaguely recall the last shower I had, and that was months ago when the country started putting guards around the Han river to make sure people like us wouldn’t wander in to clean off our filth.

I sighed and found myself standing up, eyes closed and nodding, “Ne.”

A smile spread across his face slightly, “Ok, let’s go.”

This Myungsoo character was strange. He had offered a total stranger a place to live at at his home with only a few minutes of talking. While he guided me to his home, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him- not just because he’s handsome and breath taking and blahblahblah, but because he was so peculiar.

He was quiet most of the way to his home until we got closer to our destination. He started talking about his childhood and favorite ice cream and- this guy couldn’t shut up. It was like whatever popped in his mind, he would sputter out into our one-sided conversation.

I didn’t have much to say except a grunt or ‘oh yeah’ or hum to show him I was paying attention. Seeing him at the subway, I could honestly say that he didn’t seem like the one to enjoy talking, none the less socializing.

He started taking me down smaller roads, and then to a small white-looking house with stairs guiding to the front door that had a screen door covering it slightly. I raised an eyebrow at the home in front of me. From the way Myungsoo was dressed, I would have thought he would have lived in a nicer home, but I shrugged it off.

A home is better than no home.

He scratched the back of him head, trying to think of a way to apologize until I held a hand in front of him, “No need, Myungsoo. This is fine.”

He smiled and nodded, then guiding me to his home, removing our shoes at the doorway. I looked around, finding there were a lot more shoes of various men’s sizes scattered around the area, making me look up at him curiously. I pointed at the shoes, “What? Do your feet shrink and grow whenever they’d like?”

Myungsoo blinked and looked at the shoes, laughing softly behind his hand- something he hadn’t done our entire way here. I brushed it off though as I awaited an answer, “Erm, I guess I forgot an important factor with you living here…”

Just then, another man came out from his room, running straight for Myungsoo and pouncing on top of him, laughing. I blinked as the man on top of Myunsoo looked up at me, just as confused as I was.

“Yah, Myungsoo-ah, did you get followed home by some homeless flasher?” I looked the other up and down from his words, he was tall and thin, short black hair with a bowl-like haircut.

“Erm, Hyung, this is a friend of mine… Her name is Minny. She’ll be staying with us for a while,” He said, waving a hand slightly at me as he went to (what I was guessing was the kitchen), calling back, “Ah, and Minny, that’s Sungyeol-hyung. Beware, though, he’s a choding.”

The said Sungyeol, then came up to me, looking me up and down, eyes scanning over me before mumbling to himself, “Why would Myungsoo bring you here?”

I blinked at his response and shrugged, “I don’t know, but he offered me a place to stay and an offer I couldn’t resist.”

“Where are you from?”

“The subway,” I answered straightly, making him blink.

“Your parents?”

“Dunno, Don’t care,” I shrugged, playing out a yawn to show how uninterested I was with his attempt to profile me.

“Siblings?”

“A sister that doesn’t know I exist,” I grumbled, trying to pass him and wave him off, but he made that impossible, following each step I made.

“Occupation?”

“Homeless.”

This made him stop, giving me the opportunity to ditch him and find Myungsoo, just in time as he pulled a pot of boiling ramyun off the stove. He turned, the pot in hand, looking up at me and smiling slightly, “Sorry it’s nothing fancy…”

I could feel my mouth salivating and the growling of my stomach raise an octave, making a hand go to my stomach and making me blink, “My stomach hasn’t made that noise in a while.. I guess it got used to being empty.”

Myungsoo chuckled and nodded, “This whole pot is yours, I want you to finish it and take a bath afterwards, ok?”

I could care less what came out of his mouth at that moment- all I could think about was that pot in his hands and the contents, he could’ve made me agree to killing 60 people at that moment, and all I would do was nod.

And thus, I nodded at his request, the magical signal that made him place the pot in front of me with a pair of chopsticks. I lifted the lid and used it as a plate to catch the juice of the noodles I shoveled into my mouth. At that moment, I couldn’t process anything around me. All I could focus on was the noodles and taste that filled my mouth, each swallow I made of the steaming pasta and pieces of vegetables and seasonings that came with the dish.

I couldn’t even process that the food was hot until after when Myungsoo offered me a cup of milk to cool off my mouth, making me realize I was panting from the heat of the food. Not even 5 minutes passed, and the pot was clean. I couldn’t help but sigh at the warm feeling that settled at the pit of my stomach- it was so warm and full- something I hadn’t experienced for more than two years.

“Feel better?” I sighed and nodded at Myungsoo’s question, closing my eyes slowly to settle the food, making him chuckle, “Well, go ahead and hop in the shower. I have some extra clothes you can borrow for the night.” I looked up at him, still only half of him being seen, and nodded.

He guided me to one of the doors off the side of the kitchen and started a warm shower for me, placed a folded, pink, fluffy clean towel in one hand and a shaver in the other. I blinked at the shaver and looked up at him, receiving a smile, “I’m sure you’d feel better if you shaved too. Take your time and relax, ok? I’ll get you all settled in in no time.”

I nodded my head at him, “Myungsoo?”

He stopped from opening the door and turned to me, making me look at the towel and shaver in my hands, I whispered softly, “Thank.. you..”

A gentle smile broke his features as he nodded, “Ne, I’ll be back with some clothes, so don’t hop in yet.”

I nodded and held the towel to my nose, sniffing it, making the scent of detergent and flowers fill my nose, making me sigh. It had been so long since I had smelt something so clean, so close to my face. Seconds passed, and Myungsoo returned as he said he would, with a pair of red plaid boxers and a large black t-shirt. After handing me the clothes, he left quietly, giving me time to myself in the shower.

I stripped down and tested the water, gasping slightly at the warmness before completely stepping in under the shower head. I looked below my toes to the drain, and the water had turned completely black from the dirt on my body.

That when I could feel tears swell in my eyes.

I never really realized how dirty I was. I had become accustomed to it and it felt natural to have that dirt feeling. I squeezed some soap in my hands and scrubbed my skin, my own fingers of soap leaving a line of clean skin behind when cutting through the layer of dirt on my body.

A continued river of dirt went down the drain as I completely cleaned my body and hair. Small bits of paper and earth came out of my hair as I washed it out, also going down the drain. I was pretty sure half way through cleansing myself, I had succeeded in building an underground town with all the dirt that went down that drain.

Then, I grabbed the shaver, and looked at the forest that had grown on my legs, making me sigh, “This is gonna be a while..”

It took a good five minutes to get one leg completely shaved, leaving me to compare the noticeable difference between the gorilla left leg and shiny right leg. I hesitated shaving my left leg, afraid of my blind-spot and cutting myself. Eventually I got over the fear and succeeded in making my left leg a field of smooth skin.

From there, I shaved off my underarm hairs and facial hair, wanting to get rid of all the patches of un-sightful furs growing all over my body.  

I sighed as I then watched the water finally went down the drain clearly, relaxing under the steam the hot shower offered me, getting lost in La La Land and thought.

My relaxing didn’t last long as I heard an argument arising on the other side of the wall, probably to another person’s room. I pressed my ear against it, curious.

“Myungsoo! You can’t just take her in, there are other people who live here!”

That was the voice of the bowl-headed kid from the living room,

“Hyung, don’t you remember when I was like that! Her case is not so different, I just want to help her…” That soft voice was Myungsoo’s, and I could tell they were talking about me. I mean, it’s not every day a guy brings a girl and tells everyone in the house that she’s coming to live with the family.

I could hear a moment of silence, about to go back to my shower until Sungyeol’s voice cracked through the wall and said,

 “Fine. But you’re the one who has to talk to Gyu –hyung about this.”

A/N: Please tell me your thoughts in the comments ^^

Much love, 

Monique xoxo