“Hey Xing,” Jongdae began from his seat right next to Yixing’s. It was 9 a.m. on a Thursday and they were waiting for their Musicology class to begin. “Wasn’t that homework a pain in the ?” He rhetorically asked while taking his hundreds of books out of his backpack, then sighed, “It took me forever to finish.”

Yixing’s heart must have started beating twice its normal pace when Jongdae said that, panic quickly taking over. “Homework?! What homework?”

“Er, the one that was due for today?” He sighed again, sounding exasperated, like half of the time these two were together. One could wonder why they were even best friends.

“Oh my god, no no no! Shut up! Please tell me you’re joking!” The Chinese boy almost shouted, then looked at his friend expectantly, eyes wide.

That was when Jongdae’s smirk appeared.

That troll bastard.

Yixing should’ve known better than to blow a fuse at something coming out of that idiot’s mouth.

“For Christ’s sake Jongdae! Why do you keep doing that? It’s not funny and it never was. It’s annoying as . Besides it’s not fair because you know how forgetful I am and still you go do this on purpose.”

Jongdae’s toothy smirk was still there, taking about half his face. “Woah, calm down, dude. It’s not my fault you fall into my trap every single time.” He chuckled in his sleeve, proud of himself. “You’re so gullible. I could tell you I got an F in Interpretation and you’d probably believe me even though that makes absolutely no—“

“Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? I don’t have my glasses and I can’t see anything from the back.”

Yixing turned around to the sound of that melodic voice and almost choked on his saliva when he saw who it came from.

The sweet and incredibly handsome Kim Joonmyun was asking him if he could sit next to him. What the hell was he thinking? Why would Yixing mind? It wasn't like he was in love with the guy or anything.

Okay so maybe the word ‘Love’ was a bit much considering that Yixing only knew his name, that he played violin and was majoring in Music, just like him, and more specifically in Classical Interpretation, that he was friends with some guys named Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, and that he always wore stripped shirts. Oh and not to forget his gorgeous smile, his adorable laugh, his smiling eyes, his delicate voice, and his flawless little .

Jongdae kept telling him that that wasn’t enough to be feeling love for someone. Perhaps he was right but then again what did Jongdae know about love? His passion for the Harry Potter series was about the closest thing to love he’d experienced. Anyway, love or not, it didn’t even matter right now. What mattered was that Joonmyun was there, looking down at Yixing expectantly, flashing him a smile and waiting for an answer. Yixing should’ve replied, or at least beckoned him to sit, should’ve done something, but he didn’t. Blushing and grinning stupidly seemed like a better option.

“Of course he doesn’t mind, go ahead.” Jongdae answered instead. Yixing turned his gaze to a book in front of him and tried to deep breathe while still being subtle about it. That wasn’t the easiest of things.

He eventually relatively calmed down, thanks to the boring teacher, but truthfully, it was hard to concentrate what with Joonmyun’s presence next to him. It wasn’t everyday that the Chinese student got this lucky. In the entire year they’d been in the same program, Joonmyun had never even spoken to him. In Yixing’s defense, there were almost a hundred students in each of the Music classes. On the other hand, Yixing would’ve noticed him in a gigantic crowd. The auburn-haired student was just this handsome.

When the class break came, Joonmyun talked to Yixing for a second time and the latter really thought he would die right there.

“Sorry, while I was heading here I sort of heard you and your friend talk about some homework? What was that about? Did we have anything due today?”

. He’d heard that. That meant he’d probably also heard Yixing pulling the drama queen act over Jongdae’s childish behaviour. Talking about the troll, he was gone to get something to eat so he couldn’t reply for Yixing this time. The latter turned his head toward Joonmyun, blanked out for a few seconds (for obvious reasons), then spluttered, “Oh, no. It’s just. Well, you see, he was joking. Not funny at all, I know right? That’s what I keep telling him.”

His giggles were the most beautiful melody Yixing had ever heard, and coming from a Music major, that really said something. “Oh ok, I see.” He paused, looking contemplative, yet still looking straight at Yixing and his red face. “Your name’s Yixing, right? I’m Joonmyun by the way.”

 

~

 

“And then I said ‘Yes I know’ instead of ‘Nice to meet you Joonmyun’ or whatever normal people say in those situations. I’m such an idiot for blurting that out. I could’ve confessed to him and it wouldn’t have been much different.”

“What the are you talking about? You’re allowed to know his name, that’s not even the slightest bit weird. He already knew yours anyway.” Jongdae noticed, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Yixing dropped his fork, “Oh my god. You’re so ing right. He knew my name. KIM JOONMYUN KNEW MY NAME!”

 

“Quiet Xing, we’re in the middle of the cafeteria. His friends could hear you. But yeah, I bet he knows it because of Baekhyun or Kyungsoo, so you should thank me for that later by buying me ice cream.”

“Fine, whatever,” Yixing scoffed, “Holy Jongdae I just had this crazy thought, what if Joonmyun stalks my facebook too!? He totally could. I mean come on, he knows my name!”

 

~

 

The next week didn’t come fast enough to Yixing’s liking, but at least he wasn’t disappointed when that Thursday class finally came around. Joonmyun sat next to him again.

That mere fact got Yixing overly confident for the time being and so he actually asked Joonmyun things throughout the class, such as ‘what’s the date?’ or ‘what’s that word written on the board?’. He couldn’t quite believe he was initiating talk with Joonmyun. What if he thinks I’m annoying?! However, it must not have been such a bad idea because during the break it was the other boy’s turn to initiate a conversation. Jongdae left them alone again for those precious fifteen minutes. He could be an at times but that time Yixing was genuinely grateful.

He was trying to appear busy, fumbling through the various papers scattered in his textbooks, when Joonmyun asked, “Are these guitar sheets yours?” Yixing turned his head to see the other’s gaze directed towards his draft music sheets, “I mean, did you compose them?” He smiled, interested.

“I-I did.”

He nodded a couple of times, still smiling warmly. “Was it for a class?”

“No. Actually my major is Jazz Interpretation and my instrument’s the piano. Guitar is just for fun.” He quickly wondered how he managed to say all these words without sputtering, but then he thought of something else. Why was Joonmyun asking him all these questions? Why did he even care?

Joonmyun’s face lit up in surprise, “Oh I didn’t know that. I thought guitar was your instrument since you seem to lug yours everywhere you go.”

Yixing’s first reaction was to be embarrassed by the other’s remark, but then he realized what it meant. Joonmyun has observed me before. He has noticed something about me. Life is beautiful. “Yeah, I do that… I just like to have it with me during breaks and stuff, just in case some ideas for riffs pop into my head and I want to try them out immediately, see how they sound, and then write them down.” The music topic always made him feel a bit more at ease.

“That’s awesome. I’m not the most creative musician. Have you ever written complete songs? Do you write lyrics as well?”

Joonmyun’s interest that day was so sudden and out of the blue. It was as if someone out there knew about Yixing’s crush and was playing a trick on him. It was weird, but then again some people were just curious of nature. Yixing tried to rationalize and tell himself that it wasn’t a big deal but at the end of the day that was against his nature. So of course he ended up talking about said event with Jongdae for hours after that class.

As if that hadn’t already made his week, something else concerning Joonmyun had to happen the following Saturday.

Yixing had gone with Jongdae and Wu Fan to the shopping centre because Wu Fan, otherwise known as their tall saxophonist friend, needed to buy a new concert suit and Jongdae and Yixing had not-so-surprisingly nothing better to do on that Saturday afternoon.

As they were leaving a shop and heading to the food court, Jongdae spoke up, “Hey, isn’t that Baekhyun and—”

That’s when Yixing saw them, but most importantly him. He was as gorgeous as ever, sporting casual weekend clothes and a genuine wide smile that seemed to originate from something his friend has just said. They were walking in the opposite direction, coming their way.

“Oh my god.” Yixing was about to enter the first shop on his right as a tentative to avoid them but just then he saw that it was Victoria’s Secret and figured he’d better not.

“The is wrong with him?” He heard Wu Fan ask as he desperately looked around for some kind of escape.

“Yixing, get your back here. Shopping with us isn’t the least bit embarrassing, but walking ahead of us looking like a distraught house elf is.” Jongdae always seemed to read Yixing’s mind. The latter did as he told because the boys were quickly approaching. It was a lost cause.

“Hey, Baekhyun! Fancy seeing you here.” Jongdae and Baekhyun were actually college friends since they were both vocalists and had all their classes together.

“Hey! Well not really,” He made an effeminate hand gesture towards Joonmyun and explained, “me and Joonmyun come here pretty much every weekend.”

“You do?” Jongdae asked in surprise.

“Yeah, we love it. We’re real teenage girls when it comes to shopping.” Baekhyun grinned, not embarrassed one bit by the comparison he’d just made. But Yixing didn’t miss the blush on Joonmyun’s cheeks. Adorable.

“Cool!” There was an uncomfortable pause. “Well I guess we’ll leave you to it then,” Jongdae smiled and took a step to leave.

“All right, see you guys around!” Baekhyun waved.

Yixing managed a small “bye” and then they were already heading in different directions.

Well, that was short but awkward nonetheless, he thought. Jondgae would probably deny it later but seriously the entire time Yixing was just standing there, smiling rather creepily at Joonmyun, then looking at his feet, then at Joonmyun again, and so on. If that wasn’t awkward, then he didn’t know what it was.

They were still walking toward the food court when Yixing heard quick steps somewhere behind them, and then a voice, “Yixing, guys, wait! There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Was that really Joonmyun’s soft voice calling Yixing’s name right then?

Yixing turned around and saw Joonmyun approaching quickly, followed by Baekhyun not far behind. Wu Fan and Jongdae turned around as well and the three waited for Joonmyun to speak up again.

The latter resumed, “So since we’re here there was something I wanted to tell you guys about but I forgot to do it just then when Baek called me a teenage girl,” Yixing let escape a small laugh and Baekhyun joined the little group from behind Joonmyun, still grinning. That guy never seemed to stop. It was understandable since he had such nice teeth.

Joonmyun turned his complete attention to Yixing, “I got this idea after you told me you played piano the other day,” he paused quickly, thoughts seemed to be spinning around in his head. “Actually, I should probably start from the beginning. Basically my cousin started working at an orphanage here in Seoul -it’s in the area- and she’s been telling me about those kids all summer; how their lifestyle is decent, but definitely no where near as good as what other kids from their school probably have. Anyway so I’ve been thinking about them a lot and then I saw this American movie and it inspired me but I’m rambling so I should just get to the point. Since I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by future professional musicians, I thought we should make the most of our talents and so I’m planning on organizing a Christmas benefit concert for that orphanage, to help them buy Christmas presents for the kids, sure, but also for their general spending.” Joonmyun smiled at the thought of his idea.

Was that guy even real? He couldn’t be nice, cute, y, talented AND be a big-hearted philanthropist. No one was this perfect, there had to be catch.

“That’s a really nice thing to do,” Wu Fan commented.

“Thank you!” He beamed at Wu Fan, and turned to Yixing again. “So it would be a Christmas concert in the beginning of December. A couple of people have already agreed to participate, and Mr. Choi even promised to help arranging the songs. I’m really grateful to them all, but about a week ago I was looking through the songs we could perform and the possible arrangements and I realized we really could use a good piano player. We’ve got Jongin and even though he’s decent, he’s obviously better with the sax,” Yixing immediately got out of his spaced-out -slash amazed- state when he mistook the last word for , but after that it didn’t take him long to catch on Joonmyun’s words and oh my god, was this really happening?! “There’s also Luna but she told me she didn’t want to have too many parts because her schedule is pretty full, so I thought maybe you—“

“Of course, I’ll do it!” Yixing announced, not wanting Joonmyun to carry on his unnecessary explanation.

Joonmyun’s eyes widened, “Wait, I’m not in a hurry, you don’t have to give me an answer now. You can think about it.” Joonmyun sounded nervous about his request. What did he imagine? That Yixing would deny him this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? He may have been naïve, awkward, slow, and outright stupid at times, he wasn’t that stupid.

What if that was the catch to Joonmyun’s flawlessness, though? What if this project of his was a trap and consisted in enlisting them all into a weird sect? What if it was a sect and Joonmyun was the Guru? Bad example. Yixing actually wouldn’t mind that.

“No need. I want to help those kids too.” And he did, but he also couldn’t miss the opportunity of pleasing Joonmyun by helping him. Plus they would definitely have to see each other more often, which meant there were much higher chances of Joonmyun falling in love with him. Simple logic.

By that point, Joonmyun was beaming at him, his smile completely reaching his eyes to form small crescents. “Thank you so much! I’m sure you’ll make a huge difference.”

If Yixing was blushing earlier, that was nothing compared to how flushed his cheeks were now. He was sweating, too. Joonmyun could’ve at least announced himself before landing not-so-smoothly in Yixing’s Saturday afternoon and possibly changing the course of the latter’s life forever.

Coming from the Chinese Drama Queen, that may or may not have been an exaggeration.

 

~

 

“And then he was like ‘Oh you should give me your phone number so I can keep you updated with the practices and everything’. He asked for my number, can you believe that?”

Jongdae sighed, “I know, Yixing, I was there.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Yixing said, putting emphasis on every word, “He asked for my ing number!” He shook Jongdae’s shoulders from his place next to him on the couch.

“Stop that. I know, it’s great.”

“Great?! It’s probably the best thing that’s happened to me since I discovered music.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes so high it was scary. “Look, it’s a big achievement and I’m happy for you but I don’t think you should get your hopes up. His reason to ask for your number was entirely logical and legitimate.”

Damn Jongdae and his unpleasant realistic comments. Could he perhaps NOT?

But of course he was mostly right...

Whatever.  Yixing was so ecstatic that not even an annoyingly down to earth Virgo could bring him down.

 

~

 

The following Thursday class came around and Joonmyun thanked Yixing at least five more times. The latter thought that Joonmyun was a little too nice with him. It was almost odd, but he didn’t comment on it to Jongdae because that boy never replied what Yixing wanted to hear. In that case, he definitely wouldn’t admit to Joonmyun being interested in Yixing. Pffff.

The first meeting concerning the concert happened the following Tuesday. It gathered all the students who had accepted to take part in the project. They were fifteen in total: Yixing (the pianist), Jongdae, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Taeyeon (the vocalists), Wu Fan and Jongin (the saxophonists), Minseok and Chanyeol (the trumpeters), Luhan (a flutist), Sehun (a clarinettist/guitar player), and Joonmyun and Seohyun (violonists). Zitao would take care of the percussions and Luna would sing as well because they needed a soprano for the harmonies. Everything seemed to be going well and Joonmyun looked highly satisfied with their group.

Yixing ended up getting parts in thirteen songs out of seventeen. It was a lot but he could take it. Some of the songs were very simple. Their tracklist went from a jazzy version of White Christmas to the classical O Holy Night. Mr. Choi said the mixed genres were important for the type of public they wanted to reach. They wanted to keep the audience focused, not bored. Yixing could easily manage both genres.

“Are you sure it’s not too much?” Joonmyun asked him that evening after the meeting, as everyone was gathering their stuff to leave.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, I love Christmas.” , what a disgustingly ridiculous answer. But how could he think properly when Joonmyun was being so effortlessly precious in front of him. It made Yixing want to cry.

Joonmyun chuckled and looked at Yixing funnily before replying, “So do I, but I mean, it’s a lot of songs to learn, it’ll probably take a lot of practice”.

“It’s fine, I’m very much available,” there he went again, “Well no, but yes... Basically what I mean is I have a lot of free time so it’s not a problem.”

Joonmyun still looked amused, but there was nothing mean in his expression, “All right, cool! Well if you need help with anything you can ask me. Otherwise I guess I’ll see you at our weekly practices?” He got up to leave the classroom they were in.

It took Yixing a few seconds to process Joonmyun’s sweetness, “Yep, definitely”.

 

~

 

The next two weeks didn’t turn out to be very rich in interactions between Yixing and the object of his affection. Not that there wasn’t any, but Yixing simply didn’t consider them quality interactions. It was mainly small talk about classes or practices. No big improvement in terms of friendship, but Yixing did become a lot less awkward and stupid in front Joonmyun. However, he figured it was due to the fact that there were always other people with them, he was (sadly) never alone with Joonmyun. That explained a lot.

Anyhow, Yixing couldn’t stop exaggerating and over-analyzing Joonmyun’s pretty smiles and kindness. The violinist’s behaviour wasn’t helping Yixing’s crush to fade in any way. Not that he really wanted it to.

One Friday after school, Yixing went to one of the department’s practice rooms like he did every now and then to practice for assignments or for his sole entertainment. Living in the university’s dorms, he unfortunately didn’t have an actual piano in his room.

That day, he was there to improve his interpretation of Christmas songs he already knew and learn new ones. He realised that there was still a lot of work to be done after he finished I’ll Be Home for Christmas.

“Sounds promising!” A voice exclaimed from a few feet behind.

Yixing’s hands pressed on random piano keys, making cacophonic noises, “Jesus-” He turned around to see Joonmyun smiling brightly at him from beside the door, “I mean, er, hi. You scared me.”

Joonmyun took a few steps ahead, getting closer to where Yixing was sitting, “Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you. It sounded great by the way! And I didn’t know you could sing so well!”

Oh, right.

Singing while playing was one of Yixing’s bad habits, according to one of his old piano teachers. He never meant to make a performance out of it, it was just an automatism. But now the most handsome student of the music department had heard him and dammit, he wasn’t supposed to.

But he did comment that Yixing sang well and all of a sudden the awkwardness was back. A sheepish smile was the best Yixing could offer as a reply.

“Piano, guitar, singing… Next thing you’re gonna tell me you’re a dancer and a painter as well?” Joonmyun said comically, smiling and sitting on a small couch next to the piano.

“Well, er, no… Not a painter.”

Joonmyun took the information in slowly and his lips formed an ‘O’ in understanding (and no, Yixing didn’t stare at his lips, absolutely not), “Okay, wow, that’s cool.” He paused and looked around for something to say, “Anyway, so, er, maybe we could practise this song together some time soon? Since we’re the only two playing on it…”

“Sure!”

Yixing’s answer was so sudden and confident that it took Joonmyun by surprise. “Really? I mean great. Actually maybe I could go grab my violin now? Unless you were planning on leaving or practising something else? If so then it’s okay we can do it some other ti—“

“No no, I wasn’t.”

The first thing Yixing did when Joonmyun left was to take out his phone and text Jongdae because oh my god, he was alone with Joonmyun just then for the first time in two weeks and he was freaking out. And now he was going to stay in a room with him for quite some time again. That is if he didn’t choose to leave now while he still could, before possibly making a fool out of himself once more.

“omg you-know-who was with me just now but now hes gone to get his violin what do i do!!!”

“since when does Voldermort play the violin”

“shut up im serious what do i do i cant breath im dying” Of course he wasn’t literally dying, this was just a well-chosen metaphor to explain the fact that he was mentally freaking out.

Yixing heard footsteps in the hallway then and put his phone in his backpack before he could read Jongdae’s reply.

Joonmyun entered the room, violin in one hand, laptop bag in the other, and set his things on the couch he’d been sitting on. He took his laptop out and placed it on the top of Yixing’s piano.

“Have you ever heard Michael Bublé’s version of this song?”

 

~

 

Joonmyun was so pretty when he was focused on playing, Yixing thought as he lifted up his gaze to watch the other. His face was sad when he played and it made Yixing want to hug him and then sob onto his shoulder unrestrainedly.

A wrong note resounded and Joonmyun abruptly stopped playing, putting down his bow, “Ah . Everything was going perfectly fine but of course I had to screw up right at the end.”

“You swear.”

“What?”

“You just said . It’s the first time I hear you swear.”

“Oh. Well it does happen occasionally,” he smirked. “How about you? Do you swear?”

“Only when the situation really calls for it.”

“Ah I see. Anyway, should we play it one more time and then call it a day?” Joonmyun offered.

Yixing sighed deeply, “Yeah. I’m ing hungry.”

“When the situation calls for it eh?” He chuckled lightly. “Hm so am I, actually. Do you, er... want to go eat something after? There’s this great pizzeria not far from my dorm, I don’t know if you’ve tried it.”

Yixing's heart dropped at these words. “Yes! I’d love to!” He shouted a bit too abruptly. “I mean, yeah, okay, pizza sounds good.”

 

~

 

“Mmm~ This tastes really nice. Pepperoni pizza is my favourite.” Joonmyun commented happily after taking his first bite. The pizzeria they were in was cozy, although a bit crowded. Sitting across Joonmyun at a restaurant table felt incredibly surreal.

“Really?”

Joonmyun looked relatively shy as he wiped his mouth with a napkin, “Yeah, my tastes are a bit dull I know.”

Oh, then I might have a chance with him, Yixing thought, delighted.

“But that’s because I’m really picky.”

Never mind.

Yixing couldn't restrain himself from asking, “In general or only with food?” Just to make sure.

“Um, I don’t know… Kyungsoo says I’m picky with people. Potential erm, lovers, that is. Not friends. I like to think I'm pretty open in that field. But anyway, Kyungsoo's probably right, but that’s because I know exactly what I want and what I don’t want.” Joonmyun wasn’t looking at Yixing when he said that, but there was something weird about the confidence in his voice.

Yixing felt strangely short-breathed all of a sudden. What was he supposed to reply to that? Should he try to deepen the subject? The idea was tempting but it could also go wrong very quickly. Oh and what the hell. “And what is it that you want?” That wasn’t very subtle but it was Joonmyun who had started on the topic, so whatever.

Joonmyun looked caught off guard by that question, even though he should’ve expected it, “I- I guess I'm looking for someone who shares my interests. And of course someone who’s funny, who cares about others, who doesn’t try to be something they’re not… Things like that.”

“Fair enough”, Yixing simply nodded but in his head his thoughts were running wild, trying to figure out if he possessed any of those qualities. Also, a question of upmost importance was bugging him, could the situation they were in be considered a date?!

After a short yet quite uncomfortable moment of silence, Yixing added, “And what are your interests apart from violin and music?” Frankly, the Chinese boy was quite proud of the normality of some of the things coming out of his mouth, considering he'd never had this kind of discussion with Joonmyun before.

“Well when I said someone who shares my interests I mostly meant music but other than that I also like reading, watching movies, TV series, anime. I’m not a big sportsman… Hm yeah I don’t know what else to say. I’m pretty boring.” Joonmyun giggled, a bit awkwardly, dare Yixing say. His eyes kept going in all directions, from his plate, to Yixing’s face, to the other tables around.

For the first time Yixing didn’t know which one of them looked more timid and uncomfortable. But then again he supposed talking about personal stuff was bound to make him shyer than talking about Christmas songs. Joonmyun could be shy all he wanted because shyness was damn cute on him.

“Anyway, enough about me,” Joonmyun sighed and smiled, probably waiting for Yixing to say something.

What did he want to know? Was now the right time to tell Joonmyun about his slight obsession with boygroups or his almost-popular Youtube music channel? Perhaps not. “Well... I like all-dressed pizza better, but pepperoni’s good too.”

 

~

 

“Wow, I can’t believe it. You actually went on a date with him.” Wu Fan was impressed. He should be. The previous evening had been nothing but incredible. It was now Saturday afternoon and Yixing, Wu Fan and Jongdae were gathered in Jongdae’s room to ‘do their respective homework’.

“Oh my god that’s what I thought but are you sure it was a date? I mean I just said I was hungry and then we went there but like we talked a lot and he did walk me to my dorm afterwards seriously that was so sweet plus it was kind of romantic because of the dark and all but I don’t know maybe that was just me?” Yixing explained in one breath.

“What did you two talk about?” Jongdae asked.

“Lots of things. He talked about him and then asked about my interests and what I do in my free time and stuff and I tried not to mention embarrassing things but I ended up blurting out that I like learning boygroup and girlgroup dances, amongst other things. Anyway it was all right, he didn’t even seem to judge me unlike you guys.” He glared at his friends and resumed, “He’s so open minded and nice and oh god guys he’s even more perfect than I thought. I so hope he likes me even if it’s just a tenth of how much I like him… I never thought I’d have my hopes this high but then again I never even thought we would become acquainted. Seriously I’ve fallen and I can’t get—“

“Okay Yixing, we get it, you like him. But do we even know if he’s gay?” There he went again. Stupid killjoy. If Jongdae didn’t already have a thing for that Minseok trompeter, one could think that he was jealous, that he didn’t wish for Yixing to be in a relationship.

Yixing tried to remember his previous conversation with Joonmyun, “Hm I don’t think he ever mentioned a gender when we were talking about who he was looking for…”

“Oh come on, of course he’s gay. He may not be as effeminate as Baekhyun but he plays the violin for Christ’s sake, plus more than half the guys in the music department are fags.” Wu Fan remarked.

“Oh my god please don’t call us that.”

“Jongdae, I’m one too.”

“So what? Just because you don’t get offended by the term doesn’t mean we don’t. You wouldn’t call Hermione a Mudblood, now would you? It’s the same thing.”

“What the heck? How are those two situations even remotely similar?”

“Both terms are derogatory.” Jongdae replied matter-of-factly. “That’s a good-enough reason not to use them.”

Yixing sent both his friends a judgmental glare before sighing heavily, “Whatever guys! Can we go back to talking about my situation?”

“Okay. Well, honestly, I think you should take some initiative. He’s done everything so far, from asking you to take part in his concert to asking you to dinner. You should at least text him; tell him you could practice together or something. Just find something,” Wu Fan suggested.

“I would but I don’t know... I have no idea if he’s even interested. I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Well I haven’t seen you two together much but from my perspective he did seem to only have eyes for you at that first meeting. He was like: Yixing could play this, Yixing should accompany Kyungsoo on that one, would that be okay Yixing? Yixing, Yixing, Yixing.”

Now that Wu Fan mentioned it… Holy mother of God. He was right.

By that moment Yixing had excused himself so he could go to his room in order to properly freak out without being met by his friends’ judging stares.

 

~

 

The texting idea wasn’t bad but Yixing found something better. It was a perfect idea, subtle, yet it would allow him to actually hear the voice he so adored, the one he wouldn’t mind hearing first thing in the morning, pulling him out of his sleep...

After multiple attempts, Yixing sat on his bed, took a deep breath, and finally pressed the ‘call’ button. Joonmyun picked up after only two ringings.

“Hello?”

It was insane how one single word pronounced by Yixing's crush could make his heart rate accelerate so much. “Hey Joonmyun, it’s Yixing.”

“Oh, hey!” He sounded surprised. “How are you?”

“I'm great! You? Are you too busy to talk right now?”

“No, not at all.”

“Good, look I know you said the tickets for the concert were selling out pretty quickly so I was wondering if you could set three aside for my parents and my sister. They weren’t sure they could make it but turns out they can.” Smooth. I’m getting good at this talking-with-Joonmyun-and-sounding-normal thing.

“Oh sure! That’s great news. Wait, let me set them aside and write down a note,” shuffling of papers could be heard. “Three tickets for Yixing. All right, cool.”

“Thanks! I’m really forgetful so I wanted to ask now in case I forgot later. Oh and I’ll pay for them as soon as I see you.” Yixing was impressed with himself, what with how easily he could speak with Joonmyun now. There was still the slight blush on his cheeks, but thankfully that couldn’t be seen over the phone.

“Okay! There’s no hurry though,” Joonmyun assured, but quickly added a precision, “Not that I don’t want to see you of course, but you know, for the money.”

Yixing chuckled lightly at his crush’s consideration. “Cool, well I guess that’s all.”

“Wait, by the way, I was surfing the internet and watching videos and stuff right before you called and thought back to what you said yesterday about having a- Youtube account? Is that what it’s called?”

Dammit. Why did I have to tell him this of all things?

“Er yeah… What about it?”

“Would you consider sending me a link or something? I’d love to hear your covers and mostly your original songs. I’ve been curious about them ever since you told me you write your own songs,” even over the phone he sounded very enthusiastic.

Someone help me!! “Hm well I don’t know if I can… I haven’t shown them to that many people…”

“Why not?”

“I don't know, probably because I’m not that good of a singer and also the lyrics are kind of embarrassing.” The lyrics, right, some of them are about Joonmyun. They don’t say his name or describe him physically but still, what if he found out?!

“I’m sure they’re not but okay… It's fine. But know that one day I’ll make you sing one of your songs in front of me. Not in a video, but for real. We’ll see which way makes you feel more embarrassed.” There was something that sounded like flirting in Joonmyun’s voice.

It was destabilizing, but Yixing didn’t give in, at least not over the phone. They ended the call not long after this and Yixing got back to lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about every single interaction he’d had with Joonmyun. The guy didn’t hate him, that much was obvious. In fact, he most definitely liked him. Yixing would also go as far as saying he appeared interested in him in a non-friendly way. Yixing his stomach and let out a few screams into his pillow.

But what to do with that hypothetical piece of information? Nothing, except to hope that things between them evolved in a positive way.

Later that evening, Yixing thought back to the Youtube problem and actually went on his channel to watch back his videos. Eight covers, three originals songs. They were probably better than his live singing voice.

In the end he figured that he didn’t want to risk Joonmyun thinking that his compositions were worse then they were in reality, so he texted him.

“changshaboy91 (my youtube username)”

~

 

The Tuesday practice session was long and demanding. The group of students went through the entire tracklist for the concert, spending a bit more time on the songs that required a choir, such as Silent Night and Ave Maria.

Yixing found it incredibly hot when Joonmyun ordered people around, but he wasn’t mad that the practice was over.

The violinist always left the auditorium last and normally Yixing would refrain from staying with him, but this time he decided otherwise and ended up walking with Joonmyun on the way to their dorm.

Joonmyun seemed glad. The auburn-haired boy was all smiles. “It’s finally starting to sound like I’d hoped it would!”

“Yeah the result so far is great! Everyone’s really good individually, now we just need to work on the harmonies.”

“Exactly!” Joonmyun grinned at Yixing and zipped up his winter coat as they were getting out of the university building. “Oh hey by the way! Forgot to tell you but I watched your videos!”

Oh, . Brace yourself, Yixing. The moment you’ve feared has arrived. He’s going to tell you he thinks you’re lame.

“You- you did? All of them?”

“Yes! I was impressed, really. I knew your voice was high but I didn’t know you could sing that high! And that song you wrote -Tears Airport was it?- is amazing. So are the others! You’re very talented.” An even wider smile spread across Joonmyun’s face.

Yixing blushed, hard, and turned his gaze to his surroundings so that Joonmyun hopefully wouldn’t notice the color on his cheeks. “R-really? You don’t think they’re lame? Wow, I don’t know what to say…” he finally looked at Joonmyun, sporting a modest smile, “Thanks.”

“Lame? Of course not! What’s with the lack of confidence?” He gave Yixing a reprimanding look.

“Yeah, I don’t know… It’s nothing, I’m not always like that.”

“Should I take it personally?”

Yixing’s immediate reply was “No”, but it wasn’t exactly true. Then he thought, on the spur of the moment, to hell with subtlety and added, “well yes, but not in a negative way.”

Joonmyun bit his lower lip, seemingly to refrain from smiling too much, and then looked ahead of him in slight embarrassment. Yixing could see the Christmas lights from each side of the street reflecting in Joonmyun’s O’ so beautiful eyes.

 

~

“Oh, Xing, look who just came in,” Wu Fan pointed towards the bar’s entrance. Joonmyun was there with Sehun and Baekhyun, and they immediately headed to the table Jongin and Kyungsoo were sat at, not even looking around to see if other friends were there. They took off their coats and oh, count on Joonmyun to be wearing stripes again. A very hot black and gray striped t-shirt with a modest v-neck, to be more precise.

It was Chanyeol’s birthday party, and since the giant was well-liked among the department, a lot of Music students had come. It wasn’t a surprise to Yixing that Joonmyun was there, but he hadn’t planned anything. They had talked in the previous days; a small “hey, you didn’t bring your guitar today?” here and a “You changed your hair color? I like it!” there, but other than that, no major improvement. 

The evening progressed and Joonmyun’s gaze kept meeting Yixing’s, making his heart flutter, but the latter didn’t particularly want to go ahead and talk to him because he was with all his friends and Sehun’s poker face was actually sort of intimidating.

Truthfully, though, he just generally didn’t know what to do in these big social events and he also didn’t want to mess things up. So he stayed with Jongdae, Wu Fan and Luhan and drank, a lot. There wasn’t much more to do. After a while, when his three friends ditched him to go find Minseok and Zitao, he figured he didn’t have much of a choice left.

Feeling a sudden rush of confidence, Yixing stood up from his seat and quickly acknowledged that he was tipsy (or a bit passed the tipsy-stage) . Oh well, that couldn’t be such a bad thing. At the best it would give him the kick in the he so desperately needed. He headed towards Joonmyun and his friends, and stopped when he’d reached their table.

“Hey,” he greeted.

Joonmyun had had his back turned to him so he didn’t see Yixing coming, but he turned around when he heard the Chinese boy’s voice. “Hey,” he smiled, “How are you? Take a seat!”

Yixing did as he was told, meanwhile not taking his eyes off Joonmyun. From up close, it became undeniable that the latter looked extraordinarly y tonight. Sober Yixing wouldn’t have commented on it but intoxicated Yixing seemed to have different intentions. “Oh my god! Are you wearing eyeliner?! It looks hot!”

Joonmyun flushed bright red and Yixing chuckled at his crush’s reaction, not feeling the least bit embarrassed by the comment he’d just made. Joonmyun’s friends’ eyes were on them but Yixing didn’t mind. He noticed the music playing in the bar and quickly wondered why they weren’t playing Christmas music (He didn’t go out often). The beat was quickly growing on him, though, and he got a sudden urge to dance.

With Joonmyun.

“Want to dance?” He bluntly asked Joonmyun.

Joonmyun was obviously taken aback by the suggestion. “What? You want to dance? But no one’s dancing?” The bar was more of a pub, therefore there was no dance floor, it wasn’t exactly the appropriate place to dance.

“All the more reason.” He took Joonmyun’s hand and actually dragged him to the place in the bar that resembled a dance floor the most. He could sense Joonmyun’s reluctance but it wasn’t enough to stop him. He firmly believed that he could make Joonmyun enjoy himself.

They ended up dancing to Super Junior’s latest single, or rather Yixing was dancing (impressing everyone with his skills, even tipsy) and Joonmyun was laughing and enjoying the show right in front of him, doing absolutely nothing with his body except put a hand in front of his mouth like he always did when he laughed. Yixing tried to make him dance but Joonmyun was having none of it. He hadn’t drunk enough to go through with Yixing’s idea (but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t having fun).

The song wasn’t finished when Chanyeol joined Yixing in his dancing and soon other people started to gather up as well. The following song had the bunch of them dancing and Joonmyun finally loosened up, thanks to Yixing’s encouragements. Most of the Music majors weren’t into Dance or Hip-hop music, but they still knew how to appreciate a good party song.

There was nothing intimate in the dancing, the students always keeping a certain distance between their standing forms, until a slower song came up.

As soon as it started, Yixing smirked and brought his arms up around Joonmyun’s neck. The latter was all flushed again (not only from the dancing), but placed his hands on Yixing’s hips nonetheless, surprising the latter with his initiative.

The feeling was ecstatic. Yixing felt like he was flying. 

His new proximity with Joonmyun from then on also made him feel invincible, which is why he dared do what he did when the end of the party neared. The night had gone too well so far and Yixing didn’t want it to stop improving.

Joonmyun had excused himself to go the restrooms, so Yixing decided to join him. Not right away, though. He left Joonmyun time to do his business and then entered the restroom unceremoniously. He spotted Joonmyun as the Korean was washing his hands, and approached him confidently. Second thoughts are for losers.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all evening,” Yixing admitted honestly and placed a hand under Joonmyun’s chin before pressing his lips to the older’s. About two seconds later, he felt the other kissing back tentatively, so he allowed himself a bit more ardour. Soon Yixing’s tongue found its way into Joonmyun’s mouth, and his right hand intertwined with the boy’s newly coloured brown locks. The exchange, which lasted quite a long moment, was highly sensual and passionate.

Not necessarily what you would expect a first kiss to be.

But the place wasn’t your typical romantic place either.

At least it was one of those nice restrooms with automatic sinks and automatic everything.

 

~

 

“Xing! There you are! You left before I could say congrats yesterday!” Jongdae smirked as Yixing sat at their table at the café.

“For what?” Yixing asked.

“Er, I don’t know! For scoring with Joonmyun maybe!” Jongdae laughed.

“Excuse me? I didn’t ‘score’ with him. We just made out. Plus it’s not a freaking game to me!” Yixing almost shouted the last part, outraged. His face then turned into one of confusion, “Wait, how do you know?”

Wu Fan scoffed, “Oh come on, you should’ve seen both of your faces when you came out of that washroom. You were both flushed and tousled.” If Yixing remembered correctly, he’d gotten out of the restroom before Joonmyun, and had made a run for it as soon as he saw his friends looking funnily at him. The enormity of what he’d just done had slapped him in the face in that moment, and he was incredibly embarrassed for some reason.

“Ah guys, I messed up, didn’t I? I didn’t mean for things to happen that way,” he sighed dramatically and put his face in his hands.

“The are you on about? You’re supposed to be throwing up rainbows right now, not whining about how it didn’t go the right way?”

Yixing closed his eyes. He almost looked in pain. “Jongdae, you really don’t get it. It was so ungracious. How can he see me as a serious potential boyfriend now? I’ve probably embarrassed him in front of his friends. It was me who initiated the whole thing.”

“And he went along with it! He’s so into you, it's so obvious. You should meet up and talk this through as soon as possible.”

“Meet up with him? Just the two of us? Nope. Never.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes in exasperation, “Stop blowing things out of proportions, Xing.”

Yixing sighed deeply, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Okay, I don’t know. Maybe, but not now. I’m too ashamed.”

 

~

 

Two weeks went by and Yixing stayed true to his words; he did his best to avoid talking to Joonmyun, and succeeded. It wasn’t that hard to do when Joonmyun seemed to be doing the exact same thing. They still saw each other during practices but once again not talking wasn’t the most difficult thing since everyone was minding their own business and took their respective tasks very seriously. Sometimes Yixing would glance subtly at Joonmyun but if their gazes met for even a second, he would look away immediately. It was like he was back to square one, back when his crush on the Korean was still secret, except he wasn’t. He was more ‘in jail’, Monopoly-wise.

It was the night of the concert and the outcome was amazing, thanks to Luhan’s posters and Chanyeol’s idea to create a Facebook event. Joonmyun had reached his goal in terms of money for the orphanage, but now they had to deliver.

The fifteen students were gathered backstage, putting on their bow-ties and whatnot, when Joonmyun came over to Yixing, who was looking through his music sheets in a corner of the room, looking nervous.

“Hey,” Joonmyun greeted, fidgeting a bit next to Yixing’s standing form.

Yixing looked up from his sheets, suprised, “Oh, hi”. Aren't we supposed not to talk? But just because he was trying to avoid Joonmyun didn’t mean he was able to be rude to him. That, he never could. Not when Joonmyun was the sweetest thing to happen to the world since maple syrup. “Don’t you have to be on stage in like two minutes?” He asked, not daring looking directly at Joonmyun. The latter had to be on stage first since he was hosting the show as well as playing.

“Yeah. I just, er, wanted to say good luck… Even though you don’t need it,” Joonmyun commented cheesily, smiled, and took a step to leave, but before doing so he leaned forward towards an unexpecting Yixing and placed a small kiss on his cheek, a gesture that left the pianist completely stunned.

What a contrast with their previous kiss. Funnily this one seemed a lot more right.

 

~

 

The concert went almost perfectly. Joonmyun announced the wrong song once but Kyungsoo whispered to him in time for the host to adjust, so it was all right. Taeyeon also sang the wrong lyrics once but Yixing’s parents assured that they didn’t notice.

Overall the concert was a huge success. The Christmas spirit palpable and the audience was loud and visibly engrossed in the music. Yixing didn't mess up once, which he was relieved about. He wouldn't have wanted to disappoint Joonmyun. Anything but that.

When most of the parents and friends had left the auditorium hall, Yixing looked around, trying to spot Joonmyun. The concert was over, and he was done trying to avoid him, done letting his pride get in the way. Let’s just say that Joonmyun’s previous display of affection had something to do with it.

Yixing was embarrassed, sure, but if Joonmyun was able to get over his pride, then so was he.

He spotted the Korean boy with Sehun and Zitao, so he went to join them. The atmosphere in the room was light and cheerful, the stress of the concert finally over.

“Hey, can we talk?” He asked, adressing Joonmyun, unsure.

“Sure,” Joonmyun immediately agreed, like he'd been waiting for this. They walked to a quieter corner, leaving Zitao and Sehun alone.

“Here,” Yixing handed Joonmyun the flowers that his parents had just offered him. He could already hear Jongdae’s comment ‘Palming off a freshly received present to your crush, Yixing, are you freaking serious??’. It was just that, in Yixing’s eyes, Joonmyun deserved those roses a lot more than he did. “Congratulations.” He smiled.

Joonmyun looked at the flowers, mouth agape. He looked shy suddenly. “Wow, you didn’t have to. It’s you we should congratulate. This would've never been possible without all your work.”

“Well thank you, but accept them as a Christmas present, then,” Yixing smiled sweetly, and resigned, “Look, I know I messed up at Chanyeol’s party, and I’m sorry. Believe me, I didn’t want things to happen the way they did, it was impulsive and stupid and it made things even more awkward than they already were, but the truth is I really do like you, so hopefully we can still—“

Joonmyun shut Yixing up with the press of his lips to the other’s. He wasn’t as confident as Yixing had been two weeks prior, but the gesture was still somehow determined. Yixing’s surprise didn’t keep him from responding to the kiss. He could feel his cheeks heating up and his heart rate accelerate as Joonmyun’s hand lowered on his back. This was a proper kiss, and this time Yixing was sober enough to appreciate its every single detail, from the soft texture of Joonmyun’s lips to the boy’s intoxicating body odor.

 

~

 

“There you are!” Yixing exclaimed as Joonmyun entered the dorm’s living room. The latter took Yixing’s hand in his as soon as he sat next to him on the couch, and then gave him a quick peck on the lips. About a week after the concert, the gang was gathered in the Christmas decorated room to spend the last evening together before everyone left to spend Christmas with their families.

“I'm so relieved to see you two finally together,” Jongdae commented honestly and then smirked at Joonmyun, “You know I’ve had to put up with him not shutting up about you for an entire year, right? I’m sure he told you that. But did he tell you he used to stalk your facebook profile everyday for months?”

Yixing gasped. “Oh my god, Dae, not every day! Why do you always have to exaggerate?”

“Look who’s talking!” Jongdae scoffed. “Holy , stalking, get it? Look who’S TALKING?”

Everyone erupted in laughter except for Yixing who simply looked uncomfortable.

“It’s okay, Love, I used to do the same.” Joonmyun admitted, patting Yixing’s thigh reassuringly.

“You did??” Yixing’s eyes widened and he quickly turned to Jongdae, “I freaking told you!”

Joonmyun giggled and spoke up again, “Yeah. And you know in class when I told you I couldn’t see because I didn’t have my glasses? Well, that wasn’t true, you know I don’t wear glasses. I just thought you were hot.”

Oh the sneaky bastard.

What a cutie.

“How about the benefit concert? Was that a tactic to get closer to him as well?” Wu Fan asked disapprovingly.

“Of course not! That was so much work. I’m not that desperate.” Joonmyun’s joke earned him a small slap on the back of his head, courtesy of Yixing. Joonmyun smiled at his boyfriend apologetically. “I’m kidding, I love you.”

Once again Yixing felt like screaming or at the very least smashing his computer’s keyboard, but he didn’t. He contained himself, for the sake of his relationship. He was going to have to get used to this.