The doors and windows of the ward was closed, but I could catch every word of the conversation that was going on at the other side between my parents and the doctor. The nurse had left my lunch on a plastic platter, still sitting untouched on the little side-table by my bed. There were three beds in the ward, one which I occupied and the other two empty.

The voices at the other side of the door were carefully hushed, but heated.

"You assured us of his recovery, doctor." my father's voice floated through the keyhole which I had pressed my earlobe against. It sounded as gruff as I had always remembered, however...

Broken, it was strangely broken tonight.

"Sir, I am merely a human being, there is nothing available in the scientific or medical world to foresee that the cancer would spread all the way down to his lungs."

"You said it was nose cancer. Mild-staged nose cancer, and definitely curable after operated on!" my mother murmured. I could tell that she was tearing up.

"The conclusions obtained from the scan did confirm that. However, we have recently discovered new but early signs of..." the doctor's voice trailed off.

"Of what, doctor? Of what?" my father hissed, but there was panic in his tone.

"...early signs of leukemia. But definitely operable, as the odds are..." he never managed to finish his sentence, for at the last sentence, I had burst out of the ward into the hallway. My outburst startled the trio, but I was hardly troubled by that at the moment.

"Leukemia? Leaukemia?" I shouted, making sure to emphasize the syllable.

"Tao..." my mother started, with her hands outstretched, but I brushed it away in one harsh movement.

"There's nothing wrong with me," I addressed the doctor coldly, who was standing beside my father in what I thought to be in arrogant silence, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!"

The atmosphere intensified.

Everyone had started to stare. The hallway was cast into suffocating silence and the nurses hurried along with their tasks, as though to avoid being caught up in the scene.

"Tao, we have never thought of it that way..." my mother said with tears in her eyes, but my sympathies had run dry. I had never felt so furious in my life.

Anger.

Hatred.

Disgust

Betrayal.

They reared up in me like a newly-awakened cobra, filling my heart with black venom until it became strangely numb. My fingers trembled as though with cold, and the desire to hurt swelled stubbornly.

I wanted to rip at the doctor's face...

Rip at it till those slit-like lips parted...

Until they screamed for mercy...

To rip at it until consideration flowed out, instead of the cold blood which had frozen over the years of hell-like experience.

"You lie!" I yelled suddenly, cutting my mother off, "you all lie!"

"Huang Zi Tao!" my father ed, his voice hard but weak.

"There is nothing wrong with me. Nothing!" I yelled and subconsciously, I kicked the door of my ward violently. They crashed against the wall within the ward and several people around the scene screamed as the clinking of broken glass sounded after the impact.

My chest heaved.

My heart pounded.

My head twirled.

Then, something wet touched my lips.

I hadn't realized that I had been crying.

Then, the familiar pang of uncertain fear that had haunted me every night before now overwhelmed me. This time, they weren't paranoia.

I will never sing again.

I will never dance again.

I will never rise onto stage along with my sworn brothers again.

I will die, and that, I will have to do alone.

The warmth of the tears turned into stings and my mouth parted into a desperate, and prolonged yell. The tears did not stop flowing.

This nightmare would not end.

Then...

A pair of hands grabbed my arms from behind and my yells turned into an anguished scream. I twisted and struggled as two male nurses attempted pulling me back into the ward. I screamed as though demented as they dragged me like a human sacrifice into the slaughtering chamber, to prepare me for instant death. The doctor's mouth fell open in shock as my mother wept.

"No!" I screamed as I felt a needle jab into my arm, "No! Stop it, help me! Don't let them kill me! Mum, don't let them kill..."

The last thing I saw before falling into darkness was the dumbstruck faces of the doctor and my father...

And my mother, was kneeling on the floor in front of me, tears streaming down her tired eyes like a poor river...

*

"What is his name?"

"Michael. His name is Michael."

"He shall begin radiotheraphy in the morning."

"Yes, doctor. For now... let them sleep..."

"Let them all sleep..."

The voices were strangely clear, but the images that appeared before my eyes were blurred. My eyes closed once more, back into the frightening silence and darkness.

*

"Psst!" someone called.

The throbbing pain at the back of my head intensified and I buried my face into the sheets.

"Pssst, get up will you?" the voice called again. With difficulty, I strained to open my eyes. A boy around my age smiled at me on the bed on my left. He was bald from the therapy, and had the liveliest eyes I had ever seen ever since I was wheeled into the hospital a week ago.

"What?" I muttered with a scowl, rubbing my temples with weak knuckles.

"You do sleep like a log. Wake up! You've been out for two days!" he whispered in Chinese as he threw the blanket off me.

"You can't exactly blame me, I was sedated."

"What for?"

"Screaming in the hallway," I said, as though I was in school, "Look, it's midnight. Call me again when it's daylight!" I slumped back into the pillows, but the boy did not .

"But then, you'd miss it." he whispered and pointed to the window. He pulled the pillows from under my head and tossed them away.

"Here, I'll help you up." he said, and without awaiting my response, had already pulled me to a seating position and thrown my arm over his shoulder. I had never leaned against another boy in my life, and so I was anything but comfortable. He dismissed the embarrassment and pulled me to my feet.

"Come on, you'll feel loads better after walking a bit."

"I feel awful. My head hurts." I complained truthfully.

"Yes, but look." he said and pointed to the window again. He took me to the side of the window and helped me onto the window seat. I sat there, leaning against the windowpane and staring into the night.

I had never seen so many stars in my life.

Like children, they winked and blinked in the black carpet; like jewels, they shone and sparkled; each portraying hints of life.

For all I knew, they might represent each breathing creature on Earth.

Gradually, the pain abandoned me and I was left with awe in the cool night. The boy sat beside me with his eyes closed, and his hands around his knees which touched his chin.

He was praying.

We may have sat there for ages, but it seemed like just a few minutes. Then, he reopened his eyes and looked up at the stars.

“What's your name?” he suddenly asked, his soft voice blending with the silence. I looked at him in surprise.

“I'm Tao,” and before I could resist, added, “I'm a rookie artiste from the boy group EXO. You?”

“I'm Michael. I've seen you perform,” he smiled and I dismissed the idea of asking the point of the question.

"Look at them, they are truly God's finest." he murmured; his face was silver in the moonlight and he reminded me of one of the angels on my mother's Christmas Cards.

"They look so close, yet so far." I commented, but not to intentionally break the silence.

"They aren't far at all, they play essential roles in each of our lives. They are always there, it's just that they have always shone quietly, and so," he blinked and smiled, "people have forgotten how to look for them. How to understand them, and how to communicate with them."

He turned to see if I was listening and saw that I was, so he added, "I always thought that each star was a beating heart, and if you just listened, you can hear it thump," he placed his palm over his heart, where a rosary dangled, "only then do you realize, they're so close to us."

Then, his eyes lightened up.

"Make a wish," he said with a grin. I laughed.

"To the stars?" and he shook his head.

"To yourself, to your heart which connects to your mind and finally your body."

I stared at him for a moment, taking in his lively eyes, the scar on his crown and...

My heart throbbed.

And so, I closed my eyes and knotted my fingers together.

Silence passed through us once again as he went back to staring at the stars.

"What did you wish for?" he asked after I had opened my eyes.

"Secret," I told him, making a face. He laughed.

"Come on, you won't jinx it just by telling me." He said, and leaned against the window pane. I hesitated.

Then, "I don't want to die."

The boy glanced at me. All of the sudden, he had the saddest eyes I had ever seen on a patient like me. I felt tears welling in my eyes and as I rubbed them away, they poured out in fat drops. Finally, I sat up straight and let them flow. He patted me on the back. The tears streamed out faster when he did so. Then to my amazement, I found myself laughing. Even when I laughed, the pain pressed against my heart and my throat felt sore. The soft laughter that escaped my lips lacked of mirth, and the tears that streamed out were unbearably bitter.

Finally, the boy dabbed a cold finger on my forehead.

"Make another wish, a happy one at that." He whispered. I stared at him, and he nodded. So, I closed my eyes and put my hands together again.

"I wish that I will live, till my true time comes." I murmured. He smiled and removed his finger.

I opened my eyes and smiled at him. "What did you wish for?" I asked, and he grinned crookedly. "Secret," he told me, his eyes twinkling in the night once again.

I gave him a friendly shove and we both laughed, under the synchronizing of God's stars, and the silver Moon watching over us, like a Mother over her newborn children...

“Tao,” he said softly, after a while and I turned to look at him.

“Hmm?”

“I want you to remember,” he hesitated and I smiled softly at him, “I want you to remember, that Death is a new beginning.”

My smile faded, and something in me twitched.

“I want you to remember, that you're not alone.” he smiled, and his eyes were suddenly filled with tears.

Simultaneously, so were mine.

“Where you go, I and everyone else will go too,” he murmured and we held our hands together as though in a ritual, “you will never be alone.”

The tears finally poured down my cheeks and I smiled.

“Neither will you...”

“Michael.”

Saint Michael the ArchAngel, defend us in battle...

Saint Michael the ArchAngel, defend us from the wickedness and snares of the Devil...

Saint Michael the ArchAngel, to light and guard, to rule and guide...

"Michael..." I murmured and my eyes flew open. The nurse changing the sheets next to my bed looked up, startled. A sudden wave hit me and I fell back against the sheets, the dizziness overpowering.

"Take it easy now, love." the nurse said softly, "don't want you in bad shape for the operation."

My eyes flew open completely and I stared at her in shock.

"Operation? What operation?" I asked, my heartbeat increasing. The nurse glanced at me with gentle eyes.

"You're going to be operated today as to remove the cancer cells," she said, as she settled on a chair next to me, "your mother couldn't tell you because you were out cold for three days."

Three days...?

I frowned as I recalled the hassle.

"I was admitted to the hospital because my nose wouldn't stop bleeding even after an hour," I said slowly, "the scans proved that I had mild-staged nose cancer, but it was operable. The operation was delayed for a week and the doctors ran through some extra check-ups and found that..." I stopped breathing for a second, "I had early signs of leaukemia." I turned to the nurse with red eyes and the nurse held me in her arms.

"Oh dearie," she whispered, "no matter what it is, you have to be strong, now" she patted me on the head. I smiled slightly in her smile.

“I know, Death's the new beginning.” I said and she hugged me even tighter.

“You'll be just fine,” was all she replied.

Then, I remembered Michael.

"Nurse, there was a boy with me - a boy admitted for chemotherapy. Where is he, please?" I asked, feeling lighter than I had ever felt in ages.

"Chemotheraphy? Sweetheart, no one has been admitted into this ward after you," she said with a smile, then she paused, as though remembering something, "however, there was someone who came to see you with those lovely flowers. But he left after a few minutes," she pointed at the bouquet of pink roses lying on the side-table by my bed. I picked them up.

A sweet, but not overwhelming smell filled my nostrils as soon as they touched my fingers. I the bulb-like petals in wonder and my nail scraped against an edge. I reached in between the flowers and pulled out a card.

A beautiful face started up at me, with the the gentlest eyes I had ever seen. I let trembling fingers slide from the glowing face of Saint Michael the ArchAngel to the end of the the card and turned it over.

I forgot to breathe, for in slanting gold words, was a message from my aquaintance from the night before.

Life is the start of a borrowed gift,

Experience is the lesson of love and living,

Aging is the pain of leaving and coming,

And Death is the start of a new adventure.

But you will never walk it alone.

Where ever you go, you will never be alone.

Michael

I pressed the card to my heart and felt the snake shrivel into ashes. Instead, a rose bloomed within and refilled me with fresh life.

They aren't far at all, they play essential roles in each of our lives.

They are always there, it's just that they have always shone quietly, and so people have forgotten how to look for them...

How to understand them and how to communicate with them.

Each star is a beating heart, and if you just listened, you can hear it thump...

Only then do you realize, they're so close to us.

I will not be afraid...

Even if I die...

“I will never be alone.”