"You're leaving, aren't you?"

 

The words are out of Baekhyun's mouth before he can stop himself. Chanyeol turns on his side to look down into Baekhyun's face and Baekhyun plays his game again.

 

Chanyeol's face is made of wishes and sweet dreams, Baekhyun thinks, reaching out to touch it. He lets his fingertips rest against his jaw.

 

Chanyeol's voice is made of whispers and heartfelt promises, Baekhyun thinks, leaning forward and letting his lips ghost against Chanyeol's own for a moment.

 

Chanyeol's eyes can only see the good in the world, Baekhyun thinks, laying back down, his eyes locked on the sweet eyes of the boy he loves. Chanyeol smiles, and Baekhyun's heart feels like it may burst into a thousand shards of sunlight.

 

I can't imagine a world that could function without Chanyeol's smile in it, Baekhyun thinks, pulling back the covers and slipping out of bed, biting at his bottom lip. He needs to have the conversation with Chanyeol but he'd rather avoid it, if he can.

 

It's only been three months since Chanyeol came home and Baekhyun can tell he's already getting restless. He's heard all the tales of Chanyeol's adventures since he left, of golden beaches and sunsets that cast pink and gold and lilac across the sky and valleys growing flowers as big as people, with rivers filled with silver minnows and flying fish.

 

It's a lifetime away from Baekhyun's village, where the most exciting thing that happens is the April lightning storms. There's nothing but sand dunes stretching for miles, and Baekhyun knows that it's not enough.

 

"What would make you say something like that?" Chanyeol asks, now sitting cross legged on Baekhyun's bed, and Baekhyun walks over to the window so that he doesn't have to face the gangly boy.

 

"It's nothing you've done," Bekhyun assures him, "and nothing you've said either. It's just you. I know you. And to you, taking away your stories is like taking away air."

 

Chanyeol gives a deep laugh that makes Baekhyun's heart twinge.

 

"I don't need my stories like I need air, Baekhyun. I just-"

 

Baekhyun turns to look at Chanyeol, because this is it, the dreaded 'but' that he's been waiting for, the excuse, the admitance.

 

"You need to see it all, right? You need to see everything that the world has to offer."

 

Chanyeol looks uncomfortable for a moment, playing with a loose thread on his pants, before nodding slowly.

 

"Don't you just think it's... a shame? I mean, we've been blessed with eyes and- and feet - and we've been handed the most amazing opportunity and..."

 

Baekhyun nods and smiles, forced though it may be.

 

"I understand. You don't have to explain it to me."

 

Chanyeol looks up and his eyes look darkened by the reality of the situation.

 

"You could come with me."

 

"You know why I can't."

 

Chanyeol gives another laugh, this one bitter, and hums in agreement.

 

"I'm sorry. I was being selfish. But I need you, Baekhyun. That much is true."

 

Baekhyun walks forward, kneeling down on the edge of the bed so that he's facing Chanyeol. He places his hands on Chanyeol's shoulders and holds on tight.

 

"Park Chanyeol, if you were not you, you would not be the guy I fell in love with," Baekhyun says slowly but firmly, and Chanyeol's eyes brighten again, until they're almost fixed. Baekhyun smiles, this time genuinely, and leans down to place a soft kiss on Chanyeol's mouth.

 

The goodbye was not playing out like it had in Baekhyun's daydreams; there was no crying or desperate begging to stay, but rather a mutual understanding followed by bittersweet promises to see each other soon, and that until then, they would visit each other in their dreams.

 

"Just wait until night time if you get lonely," Baekhyun says, as Chanyeol places the last bag on board the small boat. Chanyeol turns away from the boat and takes both of Baekhyun's hands in his own, looking like he wants to say something, but is having difficulty finding the words.

 

"I'll miss you."

 

It's not what he had wanted to say, but it's enough. Baekhyun falls into the hug, holding onto the feeling of Chanyeol's strong, warm arms wrapped around him. He wants to remember this moment, this everything, just Chanyeol here, in front of him, loving him. He wonders when his next chance will be.

 

"This is for you."

 

Chanyeol breaks the hug to rummage in his coat pocket, before pulling out a tiny silk bag. He hands it to Baekhyun, who unties the string and peers inside.

 

"Stardust," he tips a tiny amount out onto his palm. It's dark in colour, indigo against Baekhyun's pale palm, and he blows the dust gently, letting it out onto the breeze.

 

It doesn't make much sense to Baekhyun. His mother would sometimes stir a pinch of stardust into her tea, because apparently it helped strengthen bones. Somehow Baekhyun can't believe that Chanyeol is trying to promote healthy living right now, but there doesn't seem to be any better explanation.

 

"You got me stardust. You do know I could buy this from the market for 1000 won, right? Are you trying to tell me something?"

 

Chanyeol chuckles deeply and ruffles Baekhyun's hair, something he knows he hates, and Baekhyun feels the urge to shove him away but restrains himself, because it's the last time.

 

"You're thinking too rationally, Baekhyun. Just think about where that stardust has been! Stolen from the heavens, shipped from America to China to Hong Kong to Seoul and then passed from trader to trader until it's reached us. This stardust has been on it's own little journey, and that's what I'll do too. I may be cheap and ordinary and worth 1000 won, but I'll make something of myself Baekhyun. And when I get back I'll bring you back a star, a real star, not just a tiny bag of stardust. I'll show you. I promise."

 

"You'll come back?" Beakhyun asks uncertainly, clutching the bag tightly in his palm.

 

"I swear." Chanyeol  leans down and kisses Baekhyun's forehead softly, and Baekhyun wants to break down now, to beg on his knees, but he stops himself. Because this is Chanyeol's life too, he reasons, and he has no right to be a part of it, let alone stop him now.

 

Chanyeol climbs aboard his boat, and soon it's a dot in the distance, sailing out over the horizon. Baekhyun sits with his back resting against a sand dune, allowing the dust to settle between his fingers, and lets the tears fall, knowing that one day, once the dust has long gone, dancing away on the wind, that he will find his way back to him. Because he promised. And Park Chanyeol never breaks his promises, especially when Baekhyun is involved.

 

He'll come back, Baekhyun tells himself, letting the stardust fall between his fingers and mix with the sand. All I have to do is wait for the stars to fall.