Here it is! I actually finished it...forever ago but I'd sort of lost the motivation to write so I forgot to upload it. Anyway, the long anticipated sequel to "Secret Love" (if you haven't read it, I reccomend doing so before you read this one). Disclaimer: I do not mean to encourage toxic relationships. This is complete fiction for entertainment and although it works out for this couple, emotionally and/or physically abusive people in real life (more often than not) are less likely to change. 
 

My name is Kim Ryeowook. I am one of the main vocalists in Super Junior.
I get along with all the members and we have fun together...except one.
Cho Kyuhyun is my enemy and I can’t trust him. It wasn’t always this way. We used to have fun together and I’d be happy when he was around but then I discovered his true self. It's as if he's trying to get everyone under his control and he treats people like he’s better.
Today, we're going out for the day to an amusement park. I can't wait but I just hope Kyuhyun doesn't ruin it for me.
"Ryeowook-sshi, are you ready yet?" Sungmin appeared in front of me as I sat at the table waiting to leave.
I nodded. "I've been waiting here for half an hour," I said getting up and we both laughed.
We left the dorm and got into the van that was waiting to pick us up.
We were halfway to the amusement park when Leeteuk made a loud noise and waved his arms around.
"Okay, everyone," he said when he had all of our attention. "We're splitting into pairs for the day."
I immediately grabbed hold of Sungmin's arm but Leeteuk shook his head.
"We're doing a draw." Leeteuk pulled a box from the seat behind him and held it out. "You pick out a piece of paper with a number. There are two of each number and the two people who have the same are paired together."
I looked around the van. "So we each could end up paired with anyone in here?"
Leeteuk shook his head. "There's another box in the other van so you could end up paired with someone there as well."
My shoulders slumped and Sungmin patted me on the back.
"Ryeowook, you can go first," Leeteuk said holding out the box.
I put my hand in and pulled out a piece of paper. "Number four," I said as I unfolded it.
Next Sungmin reached in, his hand shuffling around for a moment before pulling out a number. "Two," he said.
"No," I cried clinging to Sungmin's arm. "Redraw! Redraw!"
The others laughed.
"Sorry, it doesn't work like that," Siwon said reaching into the box.
As the box went around the van I started to get a bad feeling. No one had my number which meant someone in the other van had it...Kyuhyun was in that van.

Half an hour later, we arrived at the amusement park to find the others already there waiting for us.
"So which of you has numbers one and four?" Eunhyuk asked when everyone was out of the van.
"Ryeowook and I have one and four," Yesung announced and I felt myself taking a step back to half hide myself behind Sungmin.
I glanced over at Kyuhyun who was looking from me to Yesung to the piece of paper in his hand.
"I have one," Kangin said holding up his piece of paper.
My heart sank as Kyuhyun held his up to reveal the number four.
I tugged on Yesung's sleeve. "Please, trade with me," I whispered desperately.
Yesung shook his head. "I'm not going with Kyuhyun."
"Great, Kyuhyun is with Ryeowook and Kangin with Yesung," Leeteuk said clapping his hands together. "Split up and have fun guys."
Sungmin left my side to go with Donghae but I caught hold of his arm. "Don't leave me on my own with him," I pleaded.
"Sorry, Wookie," Sungmin said apologetically.
I watched as my best friend walked with Donghae into the park.
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."
A shiver went up my spine at the sound of Kyuhyun's voice. Without answering, I followed the others into the park with the Evil Maknae following close behind.
"Ghost House first." Kyuhyun grabbed my arm and began dragging me towards what looked like an old house.
I shook my head. "No, I don't want to."
Kyuhyun smirked. "Don’t be such a girl," he said showing no sign of hesitation. "It'll be fun."
I looked around the park and saw Leeteuk with Siwon, who was shooting clown heads. And then they were gone and we were standing in the entrance to the Ghost House.
"I really don't want to do this," I said.
We were already walking through the entrance.
"Oh, come on, man up a bit, Wookie. You'll have fun," Kyuhyun insisted.
I scowled but gave up.
It was dark once we got past the entrance. There were small lights near the pathway so that we could at least see where we were going.
I could hear strange noises that made my skin crawl but I tried to ignore it knowing that it was not real. I didn't want Kyuhyun to know about my fear of ghost houses.
"Watch out!" Kyuhyun exclaimed suddenly, startling me and making me jump. He started laughing. "Just playing."
I frowned. This was definitely not going to be fun.
I continued walking, ignoring Kyuhyun, a frown set on my face.
Out of all the people I could have been paired with, why did it have to be him? It's like there was some evil force bidding against me.
I heard a rustling noise and something moved nearby. "Did you see that?"
"See what?" Kyuhyun asked looking around and appearing next to me again.
I stopped and looked to the place where I'd seen the movement. There was definitely something there. I could see it moving...as if it was breathing and I could hear it.
I felt my heart beating faster.
Small lights just as it lunged at me, a glint of metal flashing through the air.
I let out a cry but it stopped inches from my face; a day of the dead doll holding a plastic knife.
"It's just a dummy."
I looked at Kyuhyun only to discover I had grabbed hold of his arm. I wanted to let go but I was trembling so badly and the memories of the last time I had ventured into a ghost house were flashing through my mind.
Well, this was just perfect. I'm sure he'd use this to tease me for the rest of my life. As if he hadn’t taunted me enough already. My mind wandered to when we were filming Super Junior Productions.

*Flashback*

“But, hyung, I’m not drunk so I won’t have a hangover,” Kyuhyun protested wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder.

“Of course you aren’t,” I said not wanting to argue with my dongsaeng as I tried to support his weight. “But you still need to sleep.”

“I love you, hyung,” Kyuhyun said smiling goofily at me.

I paused. Don’t do this to me again, Kyuhyun. “You’re not yourself.” I continued dragging Kyuhyun to his room

“I love you, hyung,” the maknae repeated.

I opened Kyuhyun’s bedroom door. “No, you don’t,” I insisted wanting it to be true but knowing that it wouldn’t last long.

“I love you, hyung,” Kyuhyun said more loudly this time.

“Shut up, stop saying that,” I said trying to escape from Kyuhyun’s embrace and glancing at the sleeping form of Sungmin. I was afraid that if he kept it up, I might start believing him.

Kyuhyun pouted. “Why not?”

I finally managed to wriggle out of my dongsaeng’s arms and walked back to the door. “Because you won’t remember in the morning,” I said feeling the pit in my stomach as I left closing the door behind me.

“Yes, I will!”

***

“You can be so cruel and thoughtless to the people around you…you don’t even care. You are selfish and arrogant,” I said, feeling the tears start to form in my eyes. I took a deep breath. “I dislike such traits in a person.”

I left Kyuhyun standing and could feel his eyes on me as I walked away.                                         “And you really think I care what you like or not? Honestly, no one could like someone so picky and feminine.”

The tone in Kyuhyun’s voice stopped me in my tracks. He really doesn’t care. I could feel the world crashing down around me. Surely, death is less painful than this?

“You think your ridiculous lectures will change the person I am? I won’t change for you. You are nothing to me.”

*End of Flashback*

I’ll never forgive you, Cho Kyuhyun.

"Hey, you okay?" Kyuhyun looked at me with a look of, if I wasn't mistaken, concern. "Did it really frighten you that much? You're shaking and you look like you saw a ghost."
I shook my head trying to forget the words that were echoing through my mind. "No," I said stepping away. "I just...haven't drunk enough water today."
Kyuhyun smirked. "Well, I believe they have a pool like a lake that we have to cross," he said. "There's plenty of water there."
A chill went down my spine. There was water as well? If this turned out anything like my last experience, I think I'd have a breakdown.
We continued down the path, followed by strange noises and scary props jumping out at us every now and then. The whole time I got more and more nervous but Kyuhyun seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. He commented a few times of how fake and ridiculous some of the props were and how we could do a far better job.
"So why is it you hate ghost houses so much?" Kyuhyun asked poking a fake skeleton that had fallen across the path.
I frowned, thinking about my friends who had taken me the last time. "They're stupid," I said. It was true but it was only a fraction of the truth.
"Have you had bad experiences with ghost houses before?" Kyuhyun asked standing up.
We were standing in front of the so called "lake" now. It was dark and glassy with a few lights spotted over it.
I took a deep breath. I did want to tell someone about it but I didn't really think Kyuhyun was the right person. He would probably laugh and make fun of me and-
"Some friends and I went to a ghost house a few years ago." No, Ryeowook, what are you doing? Don't tell him! "I didn't know but my three friends planned what they justified as a practical joke on me." I couldn't stop myself; the words just kept coming.
"We got about a third of the way through when there was a loud noise and Hyesoo, one of my friends, screamed. I turned around to see her covered in blood and lying on the ground.
I was really scared and worried and I didn't know what to do. But we kept going because my other friends said we had to get to the other side. We carried Hyesoo to an in house lake-like this one-and began to cross.
I didn't know what was going on. I thought Hyesoo was dying and then there was another noise. The boat rocked a lot and there was a splash and when I looked up, one of my other friends was gone and the other one was screaming after him, staring into the water. I was going to save him but Doojung, who was my other friend, said that it was no use and we were better off getting to the end and getting help so that there was light." I paused and looked at Kyuhyun. He showed no sign of amusement.
"I was panicking so much and...I didn't know what to do...we got to the other side and we carrying Hyesoo and then Doojung fell down and disappeared from my sight. All I heard was him yelling, telling me to run, telling to get help...I did and when I finally got out I was such a wreck. Scared, confused, I felt sick and panicking. I had Hyesoo who I was basically collapsing under trying to support her weight and I was exhausted but my other friends were still in there and we needed to save them. Or so I thought.

When I got out, Doojung and Taekyung were both there. Taekyung was wet but they were both laughing and then Hyesoo started laughing and got up as well. It turned out that everything was an act. There was me thinking that one of my friends was dying and that the other two had been taken by something and could possibly be dead or tortured." I sighed. "I got a phone call after that saying my grandfather was in hospital and very sick and a few days later he..." I paused. “It’s not a day I like to think about and ghost houses remind me of it.”
"...I’m sorry."
I looked at Kyuhyun who was frowning at the water. “I suppose you think I’m a stupid coward now as well,” I said looking away.
"No, I don’t think that at all. To have that much happen to you in one day is…" Kyuhyun said walking over to the boat. "I'm sorry I forced you to come with me."

My eyes widened as I watched my dongsaeng standing in front of the boat. Did I just hear him right? Did he really just…apologise??

“Do you remember…?” Kyuhyun paused and took a deep breath before starting again. “Do you remember that day…I had been out drinking with Eunhyuk and Shindong the previous night…I didn’t remember what had happened and I…You left the dorm to get some air and I followed you…”

Oh, please not this. Don’t talk about that. “I remember,” I said to stop Kyuhyun from continuing. “You don’t need to remind me.”

There was a long silence before anything was said again. Neither of us had moved.

“I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun’s voice shook as he spoke. “I don’t know why I said the things I said.”

I felt frustration boiling up inside me. This is how it started the last time. I thought he was going to apologise and then he broke me. “I do,” I said, my throat sore from the lump forming in it. “Because you don’t care. You make people think you do so that you can have the satisfaction of crushing them afterwards.”

Kyuhyun shook his head. “No…no, it’s not true,” he said taking a step towards me. “I remember now, Ryeowook. I never meant what I said that morning…but the things I said to you the night before…the things I told you I didn’t mean…they were true.”

Don’t fall for this, Ryeowook, I tried to instruct myself. But he seemed so honest and I could hear the regret in his voice. “I don’t believe you,” I whispered as the tears in my eyes fell onto my cheeks. “You told me I was nothing to you.”

“It was a lie!” Kyuhyun’s voice cracked as he said it.

Surely…surely those are not tears…Kyuhyun is cold…not capable of such things.

I recalled Kyuhyun’s words from that morning. ““I won’t change for you. You are nothing to me”…I am nothing to you. You won’t change.”

I felt Kyuhyun’s arms wrap around me as the tears continued to flow down my face.

“You are everything to me,” Kyuhyun said, his voice sounding choked. “I was so cruel to you. I was so caught up with my pride that I couldn’t mend any injury I inflicted upon you and so, made it worse.”

I felt water drip through my hair and looked up to see the tears in Kyuhyun’s eyes. “You think that…that this makes it all better?” I wanted to believe Kyuhyun’s words, to accept them and to forget about everything that had happened. But I couldn’t. I stepped away from him. “Everyone wants the ending where I say “okay, I forgive you” and we leave the past behind and everyone is happy.” I shook my head. “But I can’t forget what you said and did… I can’t forget how you made me feel.”

How could someone be so cruel to the person they loved? It didn’t make sense.

“I felt worthless when I heard you say those words. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I could never amount to anything.” I wish we could forget everything. “The wound is still there and I’m trying…but I…”I’m sorry. “…I can’t forgive that.”

*

“Ryeowook, Kyuhyun!”

Sungmin and Donghae emerged from the crowd, Sungmin hugging a stuffed rabbit with a head bigger than his own.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Sungmin said spinning around with his arms outstretched. “Look what Donghae won for me!” He held out the rabbit.

I smiled and touched the soft toy. “It’s adorable.”

Donghae rolled his eyes. “I barely did anything. I took one shot and Sungmin did the rest,” he said. “He saw that bunny and said he had to win it.”

They both laughed and I faked a laugh.

Sungmin looked from me to Kyuhyun who immediately looked away and then back to me. “Well…someone seems to have killed the cat and I doubt it would have been Wookie,” he laughed.

Despite Sungmin’s attempt to lighten the atmosphere, it only made it worse and silence fell over the four of us.

Sungmin perked up as he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. “We’re joining the others and then we’re going home,” he informed us. “And then…” he frowned and looked at Donghae.

“…nothing,” Donghae offered. “There wasn’t anything after that. Leeteuk mentioned the photo shoot but that’s tomorrow.”

“Come on then,” I said, needing to get away from Kyuhyun for a while before my heart exploded.

We walked back to the entrance where the others were waiting for us.

“Have fun, guys?” Leeteuk asked, smiling brightly when he spotted us.

I saw Eunhyuk and Shindong make eye contact with Kyuhyun who shook his head and looked at his feet.

“Apart from the Ghost House,” I said and forced a smile.

We left the park, everyone chatting cheerily amongst themselves about how much fun they had and returned to the vans.

I snuck a quick look at Kyuhyun before getting into the van and the sight of him made me feel more awful than I already did. He wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone but I could see that his eyes were red and moist from the tears. His shoulders were slumped and even though he was trying to act normal, he couldn’t and so he avoided the others, keeping to the back so no one would notice that there was something wrong.

“Ryeowook-ah, we’re going to leave without you,” Yesung warned me, poking his head out of the van.

I glanced over at Kyuhyun before quickly taking my place next to Sungmin.

“I’m so tired.” Sungmin yawned as we arrived back at the dorm. He held up the bunny toy in front of him so I couldn’t see his face and moved its head around. “I’m tired, Wookie. Are you tired?”

I took the bunny and hugged it, resting my head on Sungmin’s shoulder. “Yes, I’m tired.”

The van pulled up and the others began getting out, relieved to be able to stretch their legs.

“Don’t worry, Wookie,” Sungmin said giving me a tight squeeze. “It will work out eventually and I’m with you the whole way.”

“Thank you.”

We both got out of the van and I jumped as I turned to see Kyuhyun there. “Kyuhyun-ssi, I didn’t see you there.”

“Can I talk to you?” Kyuhyun’s eyes weren’t so red anymore and he seemed better than he was at the park.

I thought for a moment and then nodded.

Kyuhyun glanced behind me at Sungmin. “Alone?”

I looked over my shoulder at Sungmin and then back. “No,” I said. “If what you have to say is so important, it won’t matter if Sungmin hears. It shouldn’t matter if everyone hears.”

Kyuhyun frowned and opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself and took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said, but then shook his head. “I’ll tell you when we’re inside.”

“Ryeowook-ssi?”

Hearing the knock on my door, I looked up. “Yeah?”

The door opened to reveal Kyuhyun. He entered and collapsed on my bed watching as I did my makeup for Kiss the Radio.

After five minutes, I turned around in my seat to look at him. “Did you just come to stare at me?”

Kyuhyun held up a finger. “Shhh,” he said. “I’m thinking.”

I scoffed. “You’ve been thinking for 5 minutes and you haven’t said anything.”

“Ryeowook, I love you.”

I frowned tilting my head, remembering a very similar event. “Are you drunk?”

“No!” Kyuhyun exclaimed sitting up. “You have no idea what I went through-”

“I have no idea what you went through?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “No one made you say the things you did! Don’t act like you didn’t have a choice.”

Kyuhyun bowed his head. “I know, I’m sorry.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand before continuing. “I am cruel and stupid and I put my pride before the people I…before everyone! And that’s why…I couldn’t just admit that I was wrong and apologise and tell you how I felt. Aish! I’m such an idiot!

If my pride is going to make me into a cruel person…I don’t want it anymore. I love you, Ryeowook. I love you so much; I don’t know what to do! I think about you every day with everything that I do and sometimes…before, it felt good! I always felt happy even though I denied my feeling. But then I…now it hurts. It feels like when you’re ill and weak and you just want to get better but it never goes away.

I just want you to-”

“Ryeowook-ssi, are you ready?” A beaming Sungmin burst through the door and froze as he saw Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun glanced at Sungmin and paused but then shook his head and continued. “I just want you to know that even though I was cruel to you and I did everything wrong, I did…I do love you…more than anything in the world. I can’t live like this…forgive me, Ryeowook.” He slid from my bed onto his knees in front of me. “Please, Ryeowook-hyung, forgive me.”

I looked over at Sungmin who made no sign of leaving; just stood, staring at Kyuhyun with his arms crossed and a look that I couldn’t quite figure out…approval?

I turned my attention back to the younger man kneeling in front of me. “Kyuhyun…” I put my hands on his shoulders and he looked up at me with his beautiful doe eyes. They pleaded with me, melting the barrier around my heart that wouldn’t allow me to forgive him.

I got off my chair and embraced Kyuhyun, feeling his body shaking against my own and my shirt dampening from his tears. “I forgive you.” The words were barely a whisper as they passed my lips. “I love you.”

I saw Sungmin nod out of the corner of my eye. He then left the room and closed the door behind him, seemingly satisfied.

I didn’t want to move at all. I had wished for this embrace for so long, not like the drunken embraces I used to get when Kyuhyun came home after a night out. I ran my fingers through his hair, my head resting against his as I felt his arms around my back and waist.

“Thank you,” Kyuhyun said, his breath tickling my ear as he spoke.

I pulled away slightly to look at Kyuhyun who’s eyes were red again and let out a short giggle. “Your eyes are all red.”

Kyuhyun lifted a hand to his face and tried to wipe off the tears which kept coming. “They won’t stop,” he said letting out a choked laugh.

I raised my hand to help, catching the tears as they fell from his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.”

I paused, staring into the maknae’s eyes and then giggled. “You’ve seen better days,” I said jokingly. 

My skin tingled as I felt Kyuhyun touch the side of my face and my body seemed to relax. “Kyuhyun-ah…”

“Shhh.” Kyuhyun put a finger on my lips and leant closer. He paused before closing the gap between us and our lips met for the first time.

“Don’t mean to rush you but we have to leave soon,” Sungmin’s voice called from the other side of the door.

I don’t care…I don’t care anymore.

My lips parted as I allowed Kyuhyun to deepen the kiss. It was perfect, the sensation of his lips against mine, the touch of his hands on my face and neck.

Love is a conqueror. No matter how much I tell myself I can’t forgive Kyuhyun for how he hurt me, because I love him he will always be able to seek my forgiveness and be rewarded with it.

I think I understand why he could not stop himself from saying what he did, why he could not just apologise, no matter how much he wanted to. People want to say things to the person they love to make them understand, to make them happy but sometimes, because they are afraid of being rejected, they end up saying something that will make the person they love think they hate them or just don’t care and so that person hides behind their barrier so that they don’t get hurt. In the end they end up hurting the person they love and will live feeling empty until they can find some kind of resolve.

I understand that what Kyuhyun said to me was because he was afraid of what I’d do if I knew the truth. We both know that it was wrong and he made a mistake but even though what he did has lead us both to living years of pain and suffering, I know I am ready to forgive him.

“I hope you guys aren’t having or something because I’m coming in and I’m kidnapping Ryeowook-ssi,” Sungmin called…quite loudly…from outside.

I giggled at my hyung as I pulled myself away from Kyuhyun the door opening to reveal the aegyo boy.  

“I’m not doing Kiss the Radio on my own, Ryeowook-ssi,” whined Sungmin, his arms folded across his chest.

I kissed Kyuhyun once more on the lips before getting up. “I do have to get ready.”

“Aish,” Sungmin said covering his eyes. “Get a room.”

Kyuhyun frowned. “But we…have a room,” he said gesturing around as I quickly fixed my makeup and did my hair.

“A room that I’m not in,” Sungmin added in a childish tone.

That night as Sungmin and I did Kiss the Radio, my mind kept wondering back to earlier with Kyuhyun and a smile seemed to be tattooed on my face. I thought back to our debut days when we used to share a room, when I was just discovering that I liked Kyuhyun, before he started coming home drunk all the time with Shindong and Eunhyuk and telling me he loved me…and then forgetting in the morning.

I used to watch him as he played his games or when he would just lie around, relaxing. Sometimes he would catch me and I would shyly look away, holding my breath for ages while his eyes were resting on me. I would then have to sigh several times to hide the fact that I had held my breath while he was watching me.

I picked up the stuffed giraffe that I loved so much and hugged it while we played our song “No Other”.

Sungmin eyed the giraffe and shook his head. “If someone got you a bigger, better giraffe, would you love it more?” he asked curiously.

I smiled closing my eyes. “No, there is no other that could be better to me,” I answered and an image of Kyuhyun smiling brightly came to mind and I felt like I was as light as a feather. “Kyuhyun-ah…saranghae.”

The End

Thanks for your patience and let me know what you think! :) There are few concepts that I would probably change but ah well :P