After the big war that destroyed half of the world leaving America totally deserted, the world came to the conclusion that love was the only force that could save humanity and that is how the new regulations began.

Everyone had one chance to do the application, one chance to provide evidence about love and about being loved. Otherwise, they would be exterminated, like a plague because it was a belief that unloved people started the big war almost sixty years ago and the war before that and the war before that one.

Oh Sehun knows his chances to find someone aren't the highest, he is an orphan, whose parents left him in a church when he was still a baby. The first people who were supposed to love him, hate him. His adoptive parents passed away a few years ago. Now that he is finally eighteen, an adult, he is ready to go to A&L Control Department.

 

"It is strictly important for the applicants to bring at least one person outside his family circle to testify in front of the jury" A big old man in front of the group is giving the instructions, although everyone knows how this goes.

 

You arrive, fill out a paper, record a video explaining who you are and your purpose in life. You wait, another big fat man comes out and asks each applicant for his witnesses. The witnesses follow him, fill a paper, record a video explaining who this person is in their life. Then, everybody waits. You sleep in the Control Department’s building for a day or two. Another big fat man comes out, separates the group in two and deems half to leave and half to wait again.

 

Sehun is in the latter group, in the group with some sort of irregularity. A young woman is sitting next to him, perhaps mid-20s. He heard her talking about her fiance and how they decided to apply earlier; they were going to get married and who could love you more than your future spouse. Apparently something went wrong with Mr. Fiance.

 

They are now in a big white room, white columns supporting the entire structure. There is a map reminding them how the world used to be: big, noisy, and full of hate. Sehun can hear a man crying but he doesn't look back - it’s pointless. Maybe he bought a witness and got caught. Thirty years old is the limit, everybody has to come to the Control Department, present his or her case, and approve the application before that age. Thirty-one year old applicants are killed on sight if they were discovered without the mark. So much for a world in love with love.

 

He decided a long time ago that he was going to present his applications the moment he became an adult; his life is good but Sehun knows the authorities are correct that an existence without love is wrong, something is missing, something doesn't feel right.

 

His first memory was being alone in a dark room, he didn't have a roommate in the old house he was placed when he was a child. An old couple gave him a home when he was six, he was happy, he is not going to deny how much love The Oh’s gave him. They were old and only had and loved each other in the world and wanted to share this love with him. He loves them for that. He will love them forever.

 

He has been feeling so alone without them. They died three years ago.

 

His mom, Ms Oh was petting the flowers with him when it happened. She was talking to him about life and love when he saw her fall, caressing her head. She said everything was okay, she kept saying it until her body stop moving and her eyes lost their brightness. He remembered himself calling his dad, he wanted to scream but he didn’t because suddenly his mom looked so fragile.

 

Nobody screams nowadays, nobody feels the need to do it. The same way nobody feels the need to kill or hit or hurt or damage another human being. It’s one of the pros of the new regimen, his dad used to say. Sometimes Sehun thinks the world lost its passion but to be honest he knows nothing about nothing.

 

“You are reunited here because irregularities have been found in your application process” The sobs are louder and probably he should be crying as well because the end is close.

 

The fat guy asks them to sit in front of the jury, they are going to have a chance to explain themselves and if they are lucky they will be given a second chance but lets be real everybody knows you have only have one chance to apply.

 

Apparently Mr Fiance was cheating on the girl sitting next to him. She is crying, denying everything. The jury demands another witness but in a world where love is power, people don’t give his heart to someone easily. Another pro of the new world, nobody is going to say “I love you” if they are not ready to face the consequences. Sehun knows that really well, the silence in his house when his dad passed away just a few months after his mother were all the evidence he needs.

 

The girl is already 27, finding someone in the next three years is almost impossible. Most of the people find his special person when they are young, then they will cultivate his relationship, their love and they will end in this Department telling strangers about how he fell in love.

 

The girl is being processed. If you think about it, his fiance’ strategy is the perfect plan to get rid of someone, the perfect murder, cheater fiances aren’t included in the new regulations and the only thing they jury saw was a dangerous treat to the world, a person who lived without being loved.

 

Sehun stops listening to her pleas when the police officer take her out of the room. He stops hearing everybody’s cries when the big and old door closes.

 

There are only three people and he is being called. The face of the jury is full of curiosity, it is rare to see a young man there, most of the people avoided this Department until is completely necessary to come. He is feeling uneasy but remembering how Mr. Oh’s hands turned cold in between his own reminds him everything is okay. He is going to forget everything soon.

 

The jury asks him if he is having homicidal thoughts, they are reviewing his criminal record. They ask him if he have ever hurt an animal. He suddenly remembers himself leaving his cat to the neighbor, he said goodbye and he felt Lulu purr under his hands.

 

“You are the owner of an ice cream shop,” one of the juries said, it isn’t a question but he answer yes anyway. “Your family died within a short period of time almost four years ago, natural causes of course and now you are here at the age of eighteen without a witness,” he is saying yes and he just wants everything to be over because he didn’t prepare a defense.

 

“Why are you here, Mr Oh?” A woman with gray hair and a sweet smile asks him. He feel weird under her gaze, he don’t know how to answer to that question.

 

“Mr Oh was my father, I’m Sehun, Oh Sehun, Sehun his son, his adopted child, his kid.” He is feeling tears on his cheeks for the first time in years, the room was quiet and he don’t want to look at anyone’s face.

 

“Why are you here Sehun?” The woman asks again. Sehun is getting tired of this because it’s pointless and he is tired, so tired.

 

“I don’t have a witness, I think that is the only thing important here,” he tell his audience. He feel his facial muscles contract. He knew his parents hated when he used that face. “You are not even that serious” and “You look like a potato” they used to said.

 

“You have almost twelve year left to find someone to testify for you, why do you come so early?"

 

“I didn’t find someone to be my witness, the only people who ever loved me are dead. There is no difference to do it now or in a hundred years."

 

“Are you familiar with the word suicide?” a man wearing a green coat asks. Sehun have never heard that word, many words and sentences and costumes were lost after the big war. His father showed his a photo of a thing called penguin when he was ten, he said they used to live in some sort of ice continent, they don’t have those nowadays.

 

“I don’t know what that means Sir,” he replies. He is not here for a class, he’s here to apply and then be at the other side of the big door. Sehun finally looks at his public and see something different in their faces, he can’t identify the emotion, maybe pity or sadness, he isn’t sure. He knows it’s different from the despise and serious expressions they were wearing for the rest of the applicants.

 

“Please,” another man says, his glasses are almost falling from his nose and he is reading his expedient carefully, “describe your daily routine for us."

 

Sehun has no idea why is the point of this interview, most of the other cases ended after a few minutes. “I wake up at seven, shower and feed Lulu, my cat. I play with him while doing chores. Then I leave the house and go to the Ice Cream Shop, there are Tao and Jongin waiting at the door. We open the shop and I work there until three. They close it at seven and go home.

 

“Who are they? Are they your friends?” a little guy sitting next to one of the columns asks him. They told them about them, Tao arrived from China two years ago, he applied for the A&L Control Department in his country even if he is almost the same age as Sehun. Jongin was going to apply soon, a tidy looking guy waits for him everyday after work, Sehun thinks they live together or something. “Then I go home, play with Lulu a little more and sleep at ten,” he finishes.

“You don’t do anything else at all, do you?” the same man asks him.

 

“I do the ice cream at night and sometimes I go to the park or to the library. I finished school a few months ago so yes, that’s it."

 

They ask him about college and he starts to tell them how he get in but has no plans to attend. Another woman asks him about the Ice Cream shop and he tells her how much he loves to work there, his dad loved the shop and his mother made the ice cream. He like kids and families and looking at people being happy.

 

The questions continue, the panel asks him about many things, from his childhood to his neighbors. He answers everything and even tells them how he planned to leave the shop to Jongin because they are alike and he wants his friend to have no worries about life.

 

After almost two hours a grim looking man finally finish the interrogation, “Do you know what comes next?” Sehun hears him, only looks at the big door at the end of the room, “I know what the law says,” he see a few juries nod. The gray haired woman who asked the first questions tries to say something but the man interrupts her “He is applying and he has no witness so he can’t complete the process, he knows the law, we know the law."

 

The room is silent again and he feels a little tug in his arm, a police officer is asking him to move. He feels something in his stomach, some sort of heaviness, he ignores it and follows the man towards the door.

The big door opens and closes again. He starts to hear the sobs again.

They are guided to a long corridor, the walls are full of frames. He’s staring at the actual map of the world and for the first time he thinks what kind of threat to national security a skinny guy like him could possible be.

 

He is supposed to walk with this people to the ceremonial building, there is a long tunnel connecting the jury’s room and his destiny. It’s open at the top and they are supposed to be people there waiting for the law to be accomplished. They just enjoy the slaughter, they are a worse threat to the world, his dad used to say.

 

There is no such thing though because they are brought to a room full of beds; the room is going to be filled with gas, they are going to fall asleep slowly and then experts will inject something to his arm. It’s not going to hurt, not at all.

 

He hears the woman’s family above his head, they can do nothing, they walk slowly at the sides of the tunnel. Her father, Sehun supposes, tells her to be calm. It’s amusing and heartbreaking how everybody accepts the law.

 

The woman is not crying anymore, she says something to her family, Sehun can’t hear it. She suddenly takes his hand and smiles at him.

 

They arrive to the front of the tunnel, there is a plaza surrounded by stairs, there are people sitting there. He watch Tao with the corner of his eye, he is crying. Sehun turns his head and wave at him, his employee doesn’t wave back, Tao hides his face in the shoulder of a blond guy. Jongin is sitting next to them, holding the tidy looking guy’s hand, he is crying as well. Sehun doesn’t understand why they all look so sad, everything is going to be okay soon.

 

The jury is somehow there already. A tall woman is reading the procedure, she reminds everybody of the importance of this event. A brief story about the big war is told, a longer one about the period of peace follows.

 

Their names are then called.

 

The woman lets his hand go, bows to her family and enters the room. His name is next and Sehun is dizzy.

He walks toward the door and a scream freezes his legs; it sounds hopeless and empty, he feels his heart break again. It’s probably the saddest thing he’s ever heard in his life.

 

Some of the members of the jury stand up to watch the source of the noise. He doesn’t know what to do. He turns around to witness the commotion - on the top of the stairs a group of police officers are holding someone tiny who is fighting with all its might.

 

He hears the door of the ceremonial building close behind him and it’s silly because who would want to harm people whose destiny are already sealed.

 

There are cameras focused on the fuss, Sehun didn’t even notice them before. The city is full of cameras anyway, he grew up used to them. He hears someone asking if they are holding an animal but he saw tennis shoes and blonde hair.

The screams continue and finally Sehun figures out what the person is saying.

 

“No, no. Let me keep him,” he feel something in his chest and notices for the first time how nervous he really is.

 

“I love him, I will love him, I will take care of him, he is mine,” the screams continue and Sehun shivers but he doesn’t know why.

“He is mine, he is mine” the screams continue like a mantra. Sehun’s knees are weak and he wishes he had something to lean on.

 

The small figure is crying, everybody can hear it in his voice.

 

The voice of a woman in the jury is heard over the screams, a speaker near Sehun rumbles. She asks the officers to let the boy go, he runs down the stairs and jumps over the little fence separating the crowd and the offenders.

 

Sehun finally looks at the boy, his knees finally give in but he is too shocked to fall down, his body is stiff and it’s getting harder to breath.

 

He remembers that face, those eyes, he remembers they were the reason he used the word pretty for the first time.

He was helping his dad with the shop, he was seven and he was starting to lose the awkward feeling around his adoptive parents. A family made the bell ring as they came in, he was standing on a chair so he could see a couple with a baby and a young boy running toward the counter. Sehun held his dad’s elbow firmly and barely noticed the little chuckle coming from his father.

 

The guy looked up and smiled at them. Sehun lost his words while the boy asked them about their favorite flavor because they just came from China and it was dangerous to eat unknown flavors without a recommendation. His dad looked at him and he felt blood rushing to his cheeks. He whisper his favorite flavor to his dad, the boy looked at them expectant.

 

“Mint and Chocolate,” his dad said, “the recommendation of the chef."

Sehun was embarrassed while his dad, the boy and his family laughed earnestly. The boy’s mom ordered one for each of them and they occupied a table near the window. Sehun ran to the back of the shop, his mom was mixing vanilla ice cream and jumped a little when Sehun hid under her apron. His dad came after him and his laugh roared in the room.

 

He heard his mom ask for an explanation and his dad’s answer made Sehun’s ears burn.

 

“The kid didn’t scare me,” he said, holding his mom’s hand, “He is... pretty.” His parents laughed together and he felt his mom hands on his back.

 

“I thought I was the prettiest thing in your world,” his mom said, her voice was sad and Sehun failed to notice the mock behind her words. He remembered how scared he felt, he didn’t want the Oh’s to hate him.

 

“No,” he said quickly, a little too quickly and almost hit his head on a big container. “You are the most beautiful because your face is like the sun and you smell like strawberries. He is pretty because... he is pretty."

 

His dad laughed again and picked him up, he remembers the feeling of the wind in his face as his father spun him in the air.

 

The voice of one of the juries, the short one, brought him to the present.

 

"Sorry Sir, the application period is over, this person did not qualify."

 

“You can’t,” the boy starts to say, kneeling in front of the panel. “He can’t die because I will give him my love. That means he is loved and I’m the one who loves him and he is mine... because... he is... please.”

 

The gray haired woman turns to him and he hears her voice asking him if he knows that man. He remembers the boy’s smile, his eyes, the scar he has in the knee, the softness of his hands. He hears himself saying no and the boy started to sob again.

 

“We met when I was ten and we grew up together and I loved him even at that age. You can’t take him away, you can’t!"

 

“You were not here on time, Sir,” someone says. Sehun doesn’t hear that because the boy looks like an angel and his stomach is going crazy.

 

“I wasn’t here, I received a call yesterday and came but I am late and you can’t let him do this just because I didn’t arrive on time,” he was sobbing and holding his chest with his arms.

 

Sehun looks at the jury and they seems as shocked as Sehun is feeling.

“Sehun,” the woman asked again, “do you know this boy?"

“He w-was a client of my dad’s shop and he b-b-bought ice cream there"

“Do you have some sort of relationship with this citizen?"

 

“He was a client he bought ice cream there daily and I sold..."

 

“Did some event happen between the two of you that could lead this citizen to think about love?” a man interrupts him.

 

“He used to buy mint and chocolate ic.."

 

“Sehun,” a thin woman interrupts him again. Sehun’s mind is chaotic, there are so many memories and feelings, he can’t handle them.

 

The boy became a regular client when his family moved from China because his dad was working on a national project involving the water supply. Their families became fast friends, it was impossible to not like his parents. They brought their kids over to play with Sehun. He remembers that he enjoyed playing with them. His mom even took them to school together, Sehun couldn’t believe the kid was older than him. Taking advantage of his age, the boy treated Sehun like a pet, they were always together. The boy started to called him Hunnie when he was 12, and although his classmates laughed at him, Sehun secretly loved the name.

 

On Sehun’s tenth birthday, his friend brought him a small box which he didn’t allow Sehun to touch but the box started to move and an hour later Sehun was crying because his hands were red and his nose looked big.

 

A month later he’d cried again because another box was waiting for him, this time containing a gray fluffy cat. He wasn’t allergic to cats but he was afraid his mom wouldn’t let his pet stay.

 

When he turned twelve he had another gift waiting for him under a tree near his house. He felt his friends lips against his own and cried because fifteen years old were erts and he really liked his present.

 

The jury is waiting for his answer but the boy is the one speaking. “Sir, please,” he starts, “I gave him a bunny but he was allergic so I gave him a cat instead and he called him Lulu because of me and we used to-"

 

“Sehun,” a voice interrupts the boy while Sehun revisits his memories looking for his heart.

Sehun was 14 when he found Luhan sitting on his bed, playing with his fingers and avoiding his eyes. He waited, he heard Luhan's mom talking about how much she was going to miss Korea; he saw Luhan's dad on the news shaking hands with the major and cutting a red ribbon. 

He occupied the space next to Luhan and the latter took his hand. He was use to that, he was Luhan's pet, everybody knew that. His friend started to talk about college and Sehun didn't want to cry. Luhan made promises and his pet's hair until he fell sleep.

“Lulu,” he finally says.

 

The boy stands up and runs towards him, his eyes are red but Sehun thinks they look prettier than ever. “Luhan...” he says as the boy hugs him and he should be feeling pain because the grip is tight but he loves the feeling of him against his chest.

 

Luhan looks up and asks Sehun not to cry. He thinks Luhan should be watching his own tears but he feels little drops falling from his face to Luhan’s. "Don't worry, I want this to be over,” he says when his voice decides to return and his friend cries harder.

 

“I had to leave because the project was over but I was planning to return. Next year college will be over and I will, we will-” his voice cracks as Sehun feels a piece of his heart doing the same. “I was too young to claim you when we were kids, I’m older now. Let me, don’t do this to me, to us, don’t..."

 

Sehun holds him close and kisses the top of his head, he is just a bit taller but Luhan looks small and vulnerable like his mother. He can’t, he is not going to go through that again. “It’s okay, I’m going to be okay. It will be over soon."

 

He wants to continue with his explanation but the left side of his face is suddenly in pain and Luhan is caressing his fist and now there is also blood in his face.

 

The room is silent again and he feels the cameras zooming at his face. He is petrified because he is about to leave Luhan the same way his parents left him but worse because his parents did it unwillingly and he was the only one ending his forever with Luhan.

 

He listens to someone asking for the cameras to leave the compound as he finally feels his knees hit the floor. He cries and holds onto Luhan’s legs.

 

“Please, let me stay. I don’t want to die. Luhan I’m sorry,” he says and feels shocked with his own voice because it sounds alive and he thought he was dead already.

The smile of the gray haired lady is the last thing he sees when he leaves the building holding Luhan’s hand.

 

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Happy Holidays!