This was the boy that almost ran Jessica over with a car. Twice.

"Jessica! How could you hug this menace to society! He almost killed you! More than once!" She stopped yelling for a moment, looking at the hoard of birds pecking at a poorly crafted hair piece. 

"Why is there a dirty wig on the floor?" Taemin reached up, rubbing his hair to check. He squinted at Jessica, leaning down to pick up the wig. He placed it on his head, trying to look presentable. Tiffany cringed, pulling Jessica even further away from him. What was with this guy?

"You may not remember my hair, but I remember you. You broke my nose! All your stupid shopping backs hit my face when you literally trampled me to get to blondie over there. You know, you aren't supposed to keep the hangers!" That was outrageous! How could he say something so horrible?

"It's optional to keep them! I ran over you, because you almost ran over my friend! Twice!" 

"Yeah, well I didn't actually hit her! It wasn't even my fault! She was the one who wanted to cross the street!" 

"The sign said to cross!" 

"Yeah, but the traffic light was yellow!" 

"Yellow is to slow down! Not to speed up! You were going like 10 miles over the speed limit!" 

"I slowed down for her!" 

"Just barely!" Jessica yawned, nudging Tiffany in the ribs. This was getting annoying. 

"Tiffany, come on. He's a good guy. I know he didn't mean to run me over. I'm not dead. Isn't that what matters?" Jessica was siding with the reckless driver? Someone that could have stolen her life and given it to the cold, dark hands of Death? That could only mean one thing. Jessica has a crush. On this homicidal, cross-dressing man. That had to be why she was so forgiving. This was a horrible revelation. Tiffany was not having it. There was no way that Jessica was ever going to be within a 10 miles radius of this boy ever again, Tiffany would be sure of it. Even if she had to follow Jessica around for the rest of her life.

"Jessie, we're leaving." 

The car ride was quiet. It was unsettling. Jessica had always thought that Tiffany never stopped talking. Something was wrong. Setting her jealousy aside, she decided to remedy the silence. 

"What's wrong?" 

"You like that drag queen don't you!?" Jessica leapt out of her seat, banging her head against the roof of the car, her seatbelt choking her in the process. She sputtered, gaping at the women in the driver's seat.

"Wh-what!? Tiffany, who are you even talking about?" 

"Him! That guy with the gross wig!" 

"Taemin? Are you insane? Why would I like someone that wears dirty wigs? I want someone clean, and I don't know, not into guys!" 

"He's gay?" Jessica shot her an incredulous expression, allowing Tiffany to solve the little equation by herself. A light bulb finally popped above the dense woman's head.

"HE'S GAY. OMG, Jessie, why didn't you tell me?" 

"I thought it was obvious. Didn't you notice his shirt? It had a unicorn riding a rainbow on it."

"Wow, so I don't have to worry about anybody snatching you up and bringing you to America to get married?" 

"You don't have to worry about him doing that. I don't know about the rest of the guys in Korea." Tiffany stopped smiling for a second, confusion marring her face. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Realizing that she had just walked straight into another argument, she slowly tried to back track away from the topic. 

"Oh, look . . .  a cat." It hadn't worked. 

"What do you mean? There are other guys? Are they from your school? What are there names? Know what, I have a better idea. Give me their addresses."

"Tiffany, you aren't about to get arrested again. There aren't even a lot of them. There's really only Minho, Taecyeon, Donghae, Key, Onew, and Sehun. No, wait, there's also . . . " As she listed the rest of the males in her entire school, Tiffany's anger only grew with intensity. After the 157th man was named, she slammed her foot on the brakes. 

"I'm going to get you a private teacher. You're too good for public school." 

"You can barely afford to shop every month. Why does this even matter so much to you?" 

"It matters because I'm not about to let some dirty boy put his grubby paws all over you!" Well, that was confusing. She didn't seem to like the idea of men putting their "grubby" hands on Jessica, but she was totally fine with them doing it to her. 

"Grubby paws? Are you insane? What about that guy yesterday? You didn't think his hands were grubby. You let him . . . Tiffany, you let him touch you. A Guy. With Paws. If it's fine when they touch you, then it should be fine for me! This is just like last Halloween when you wouldn't let me eat any of the candy, but you ate half my bag!" 

"There could have been razor blades!" 

"How can you fit a razor blade into a Fun Size Snicker?" 

"It's possible!" This was getting off topic. 

"Tiffany, I'm not arguing with you anymore. I should've just stayed at Sooyoung's house." Tiffany turned her head sharply, a hard stare aimed at Jessica. 

"Fine, you want to stay at that pedo's house, go ahead."

"She's not a pedo!" 

"She isn't? I didn't exactly get that vibe when she was molesting you with her eyes!"

"What's your problem!? She's been nothing but nice to you for years! I thought she was your best friend, what changed?"

"I'll tell you what changed! Her taste in people her age!" 

"So what if she does like me!? You know what, she asked me out yesterday, I might just accept!" Tiffany looked completely scandalized, her face contorting into something of disbelief. 

"Jessica, are you insane? Since when have you started dating people over six years older than you?" 

"I'm not going to date her because she's older than me! I'm going to date her because she cares about me!" 

"I care about you! Why do you need her!?" Everything was happening too fast. It was impossible to know the boundary of the conversation. 

"I love you. Why do you need all those guys?" Jessica's voice took on a sober tone, her anger lost.

"See? That's why I want Sooyoung. She doesn't care about how old I am. She likes me because I'm me. You can't do that, can you?" Tiffany thought back to everything she's been through with Jessica. All the sad smiles, all the awkward hugs. Realization hit her like a truck. How could be she be so blind?

"Jessie . . . I didn't know."