Dear Readers

Story by InfiniteTeenFriend

Review by MysticSarang

Description/Foreword: 3/10
NOTES: The description is a bit weak and the foreword isn't like a foreword. I suggest you put the letter to the readers in the foreword.
 

Plot: 4/10
NOTES: The plot is unclear and hard to follow. Every other chapter, random things happen that had been given no foreshadowing in the previous. It does not feel like a daily account, more like different stories hooked together. It did show an effort, though, so if you work on it, it could improve. I suggest writing the storyline down before you type it up next time.
 

Details: 2/10
NOTES: There was basically little to no detail. It was all just stating the facts, which is not what one wants or expects from a story, especially not a diary. There should be emotion; actually describing clearly what happened, how he felt, how his parents felt, etc. It was basically devoid of emotion. It sounded empty. There should be more life and more depth in it- and don't forget that since this is a diary, it should purely be from his point of view.
 

Grammar: 8/10
NOTES: the grammar was pretty good- there were a few punctuation mistakes and a few simple mistakes (for example: In Hyung's Attitude, ON high school instead of AT high school), but that was basically it.
 

Spelling: 9/10
NOTES: Little spelling mistakes as far as I saw.
 

Organization: 3/10
NOTES: Poorly done. As I mentioned before, the plot is unstable, and the organization of the events is merely confusing. The sentence structure is also bad. They ramble on and some sentences simply do not make sense. Don't forget, you want to appeal to the reader, and the reader does not like to be bored!
 

Overall: 4/10
NOTES: This score was calculated from the average of all your other scores.
Other/Advice: I really think you need to organize it and put feeling into it. if it's hard for you, pretend that you're Kwangmin. Pretend that you're the one living through all that, that you're uncertianly pouring your thoughts into a diary.
 

------
Review by MystikSarang
(sorry for being a bit too harsh ^^)