Suffocating Silence

Myungsoo desperately wanted to hug her. His breathing has turned more than heavy. His chest feels heavy. He could feel warm liquid flowing out from his body. He feels weak. He was desperate, desperately wants to hug her. He wanted to make sure she is okay, after all that has happen.

He leaned forward, closing the gap between the two. He wrapped his arm around her tiny fragile body. She was badly trembling; he could hear her faint sobbing. He could feel her warm tear falling on his shoulder, drop by drop, dripping down. She must be scared, she must be heard.

“Myungsoo-ah.” Jieun voice becomes so soft, barely audible.

“Shh… Be quiet, Jieun-ah. I’m okay.”

“Myungsoo-ah.” Her sobbings become clear. She trembles, she cried, she is hurt.

“Jieun-ah, it’s okay. It’s okay. I will be fine.”

“Myungsoo-ah. I-I’m so…”

“Sshh… Just listen to me, Jieun-ah. Listen to me carefully.”

“I’m listening, Myungsoo-ah. P-Please I’m begging you…” her voice cracked.

“I love you, Jieun-ah. I do love you, with all my heart.”

I love you, Lee Ji Eun.

Myungsoo feels the warm liquid flowing faster and faster, out from his body, draining his weak body. It started to spread throughout his body. It left red stains on his clothes, the one that Jieun bought for him. His breathing become a lot more heavier, it’s almost impossible to keep on breathing. Pain started to hit his chest hard, he wanted to scream so badly. It was terribly painful.

Jieun pushes him backward, she was crying. Her beautiful face has disappeared, because she cried. It’s his fault, it’s his fault that she cried. She must be in pain, she must be upset. Yet here he is, being weak, unable to do anything. He is a failure, unable to protect the one he loves.

Jieun looks at the red stain on his plain white shirt. She gasp, as tears started to fall more, rolling down her cheek. Blood was coming out from his chest, right from his heart. There was a hole, created by a bullet, there on his chest. Jieun could feel his heavy breathing, his weak body. She looks at the ground, only to find herself spotting a gun.

She has shot him, the man she loves.

Jieun cried hard, calling his name multiples down. She pressed it, as hard as she could to stop the bleeding. But it just won’t stop. Myungsoo barely breathing, he barely lives. The bloods keep on flowing out from his body, draining his energy. His face has turn very pale, his body slowly turns cold. Jieun pleaded, begged, for him to stay with her.

“Myungsoo-ah! Myungsoo-ah! I- I’m sorry. I- I’m really sorry.” She said it, again and again, calling his name every single second.

“It’s okay, Jieun-ah. Your illusion, they’re gone right? It’s okay, I will be fine.” Myungsoo keep on answering her, with his last strength.

“I- I’m really sorry. Please don’t leave me! Please!” she begged, again and again.

“Jieun-ah, I love you.” Myungsoo said with the last drop of his strength, before he passed out.

“Myungsoo! Myungsoo! Please! Please!” Jieun pleaded.

They are broken, they are shattering, and they are crumbling. They are about to live, without being able to see each other, without being able to tell each other how much they loves each other. They are about to be separated. Wasn’t life a little bit too cruel? Has fate turns their back against them?

Jieun was crying so badly that her beauty disappears. Why would he tell her that he loves her? She has hurt him; she has hurt him so badly. He is hurting right now. He is physically and mentally hurting, hurting outside and inside. She is his only reason for hurting. She is a burden to him. They shouldn’t have been together. They should have been rational enough to let it go, to let their love go away.

He’s laying weakly, lifelessly in front of her. She has killed him; there is no other better explanation rather than that. She has killed him. Desperately, she seeks for help, calling the ambulance. She has turned insane. For him, she is willing to do anything. Just save him so that he won’t suffers anymore. She is willing to give up on everything just for him to be safe.

The doctor rushes him to the surgery room. He has lost too much blood, it’s almost impossible to save him. It’s almost impossible for him to be brought back to life. Jieun might not be a doctor, but she is a smart agent. She knew his chances of survival with just looking at his condition. It’s barely up to 20%, it’s below that. Jieun knew that but she wanted to try to believe in miracle.

Miracle, would something like that happen? For a person like her, she didn’t deserve miracle. She is a cruel person, what she deserves is a suffering life. She deserves nothing better than that. She deserves to suffer; she is the one who has been cruel. She is a cruel woman; she is not the slightest bit graceful. But please, don’t take him away. He is a kind man, he didn’t deserve to suffer. Just let him lives.

She would gladly give her life. She will let her life being taken away if it’s mean he is going to be alive. She would be okay, if she needs to be the one suffering, for him to live. Whatever the cost, whatever the payment, she will pay it. She didn’t care about herself, all she cares is him.

It’s silly, how an excellent agent like her, who worlds knows best, who is most fears by the world, could fall in love. She wasn’t supposed to be in love. She should have been cold, without warmth that surrounds her presence. She supposed to shot coldly, with fingers that grip tightly to the gun. She supposed to shot fierce, fearful glares, not lovable and warmth one. Yet she has gone insane, breaking the most important rule. She falls in love.

Love, wasn’t it supposed to be a sweet one. When one finally find an inseparable part of them. Yet it was pain that painted every drop of their love. Until this moment, it has been pain. It has been pain that painted their love story. She was the one, to let it begin, she didn’t stop him and she didn’t stop her feelings from growing.

If it’s wasn’t him, that stay by her side, it won’t be the same. It has to be him. It has to be him, no matter what. Because there is no other Kim Myungsoo in the world. If he is gone, she would be left to wander around the world. She would be the one yearning, yearning to be able to meet him again. She would be yearning, left in her waiting. Because no matter what, it has to be him. If it’s not him, it won’t be the same.

He changed her. Those soothing voice that always came out from her lip, he was the reason. Those lovable smile, he was the reason. Those happy days, those comfortable days, those warmth gazes, he was the reason. He is the only one that could change her. Because of him, because it’s him, she changed.

A smile forming on her lip, despite the tear that keeps on falling. It’s silly, how they used to avoid each other. Despite the fact that inside, they would do anything to keep each other alive. Even she has sold away everything she has, everything left inside her. She even endangered her precious life to protect him. He too has done the same, he protect her, just to make sure she is safe that she is not hurt.

Jieun looks at the ring that was lingering on her finger. A very simple one, made from branches of the tree, sometimes it hurts her skin yet she never take it off. A sweet tragic romance that painted their fate. She remembers how her own father tried to kill her, after knowing the fact that she is in love. She is actually okay with it, but her father tried to kill Myungsoo. She would protect him, she swears, with all cost.

They ran away, she remembers the piggyback ride. Myungsoo was actually dying, his feet must be in pain, his back must have ache. Visible wounds cover his body, leaving scars of his skin. She remembers that sweet piggyback, when they finally confessed. Such a sweet and tragic one, she misses it.

She loves him very much; she can’t bear to lose him.

Yet, she kills him. She took away his life, the most precious thing in the world.

She kills him. She kills him. SHE KILLS HIM!

Waking up from her deep wandering thoughts, her face was drenched wet because of her tears. Her visible transparent tear, rolling down her cheek, falling non-stop. Her heart ache so much that she thought of dying. She was sitting, outside the surgery room, thinking so badly about him. He has to survive or she has to die.

She stood up from her seat, yelling crazily. Her mind has gone insane. She tried to barge in to the surgery room, yelling and shouting crazily.

“Myungsoo! Myungsoo! I am so sorry! Forgive me!”

“Myungsoo! I love you!”

“Myungsoo! Myungsoo! Myungsoo! Forgive me!”

“Myungsoo! Myungsoo! You have to wake up!”

“Myungsoo! Myungsoo! Please survive!”

She keeps on yelling, as she goes more insane. The security guards block her, dragging her away. But the shouting and yelling, the confession of her honest heart never stops. She might have lost her voice, no one may be able to hear her inaudible voice, but she never stops. 

A/N

I cried while writing this chapter! Guess, this is a mixture of my feelings. There you go, chapter 7. Hope you enjoy reading this one. Thank you for the comments and subscriber!