throw me away

 “Hi, my name is Krystal Jung.”Myungsoo looks up and he sees a girl, probably his age or a year or two younger, smiling brightly at him.

Kim Myungsoo had been minding his own business, studying hard and fighting his way through a book on nineteenth century literature and art right before he heard that sweet voice call out to him.

“Hello.” He inclines his head slightly, looking confused at the sudden appearance of this girl in front of him. This was a library- not a place to talk, make friends, or find out the names of pretty girls (although he supposed that none of those things, especially the last, was a bad thing).

She continued to smile brightly at him as she took a seat across from him and almost giggled at the completely bewildered look on Myungsoo’s face. “Don’t worry, I’m not creepy- I’m just here on a mission. A super important, top class mission.”

He decides to play along with this absurd situation and asks as politely as he can, “And what is your mission?”

She leans forward and across the table, a little closer to him, makes him lean a little forward as well, and whispers, “To get you to go out with me.”

Myungsoo suddenly has more of an appreciation for libraries, literature, and the fine arts.

-

Kim Myungsoo meets Krystal Jung on a random winter day, when he is cooped up in the library, trying to work on all his last minute term papers.

On the first day that they meet, she asks him out.

And on the first that they meet, he rejects her- because no one in their sane mind would say yes to someone who out of the blue introduces herself and then proceeds to make a move on him in the guise of a top class mission (in his own opinion, anyway).

But if Krystal is anything, she is persistent.

-

“Are you going to go out with me yet?” Myungsoo is at the library yet again, and Krystal sits down across from him- yet again. This is the seventh time in two weeks where he finds himself going to a place of study and ending up mindlessly chattering with someone named Krystal Jung. He doesn’t know why he keeps coming back. (Or maybe he does.)

She always starts with the same question: Will you go out with me?

He always snorts or quirks a smile but says no- and then she rolls her eyes and proceeds to talk about how her day was.

He learns a lot about her this way, mostly because she won’t leave him alone or stop talking (but he doesn’t really mind). He even shares things with her, when he feels like it. And sometimes, she weasels and coaxes information out of him as well.

Myungsoo knows all about her older sister Jessica, that her birthday is in October, that she is from a very well off family, that she can play both the piano and the flute, and that she was born in San Francisco. She has told him that she likes to act, to sing, and to dance- and that she is sure that in a past life, she was most definitely an idol.

He snorts at her, but finds himself telling her about his little brother Moonsoo, about how much he hates his literature class, and how photography is one of his big loves.

He remembers when he first told her how in love he was with his camera and how she smiled at him and told him, quite bluntly, that, “One day you’ll love me even more than that camera of yours.” (He gives her points for always leaving him speechless.)

On this given day, she looks a little tired and her shoulders are slumped.

He doesn’t like it. “What’s wrong with you?” He doesn’t know why he is asking, especially since she is just some random girl that won’t leave him alone. But she looks a little too tired, and he finds himself a little horrified that she might be tired of him.

She disregards the question “Where’s my answer?” she asks instead.

He stares blankly at her for a couple more moments and that makes her stick out her tongue. (The more time he spends with her, he notes, the more childish she gets.) “Where’s the shake of your head and the flat refusal?” asks Krystal, staring at him in curiosity once the rejection that they have both been getting used to never comes. And then he realizes why he doesn’t like seeing her so down and the reason almost makes him want to laugh out loud. (But he figures that would be rude, so he smiles a little bit instead.)

He shrugs a little at her and merely says, “I don’t feel like saying no today.”

The grin she gives him kind of makes him feel like he has pretty much won everything good in the world.

-

Myungsoo thinks he is crazy for ever going out with Krystal Jung.

He tells her as such, and she replies to him that he must be crazy in the good way for going out with her.

-

They are about to have their first date and Myungsoo feels like he is about to throw up.

He has never been nervous around Krystal in the entirety of the time that he has known her (which is a month) but now that he has said yes, now that they are dating, about to go on a date- things feel different.

Things feel especially different when Myungsoo is awkwardly fidgeting, waiting for Krystal to show up at their rendezvous point (which would be the train station).

It’s cold, the sky is dark despite it only being two o’clock, and the clouds look ready to unleash a downpour of angry, angry raindrops, but Krystal is adamant about going to an amusement park today.

She arrives less than three minutes later and runs up to him with a blinding smile on her face- and Myungsoo gulps, thinking that he can deal with angry raindrops.

It is a little while later when they do arrive at the amusement park, only to find that barely anyone is there and that most people are evacuating due to the horrible weather conditions, that Myungsoo realizes that he can’t really deal with angry droplets of water.

He lost his umbrella ten minutes ago and Krystal didn’t even bother to bring one.

They are escorted off of the park property after a ride malfunctions and the majority of people no longer wish to be in the area; Myungsoo is ready to write this off as a horrible date.

But Krystal grins at him, even as security guards are shooing them away, tugs at his arm- and then they end up running around and playing in the rain like the children that they secretly are for the next two hours.

Their first date ends up being a disaster as far as most standards for first dates.

But Myungsoo thinks that it was pretty much perfect.

(He doesn’t even mind that he caught a cold afterwards- he takes solace in Krystal trying to nurse him back to health.)

-

Couples, especially new ones that have yet to learn the push-and-pull, the giving and taking that it takes for a relationship to flourish, are tested on all levels.

They are tested with differences, with emotions, with life. They are tested by other people- the people that matter in their significant other’s life.

A relationship blooms and expands with each hurdle, with each test, with each new experience that is passed.

-

The first real test given in their budding relationship comes in the form of Lee Sungjong, three weeks after their first date.

He is Myungsoo’s best friend, his closest dongsaeng, and someone that is pretty much part of his family.

And if he doesn’t like Krystal, his relationship is about to get much, much harder.

Which , because Sungjong is coming over in ten minutes to meet the girlfriend that Myungsoo can’t shut up about, and Myungsoo can’t help but panic.

“Do we have any lemon candy?” Myungsoo asks for the fourth time; Krystal deadpans at him and he nods, sighing. “Right, we don’t- you told me so two minutes ago.” He fidgets a little more and asks, “Do you think we should go buy some right now? Because Sungjong loves that stuff and-”

“Shut up, Myungsoo, your friend is going to love me,” says Krystal, rolling her eyes and flipping her hair over her shoulder playfully.

“Oh. Right.” responds Myungsoo because he suddenly remembers that everyone loves Krystal and the thought makes him feel a lot better. (And then it makes him frown as he remembers that everyone really does love Krystal and he can think of seventeen guys that he wishes would not love Krystal- but then those thoughts disappear as he hears a voice call out his name.)

“Myungsoo hyung!” Lee Sungjong comes into view, Myungsoo gulps, and Krystal lets out a little shriek.

“Myungsoo, he’s gorgeous- like, super pretty, let me worship you gorgeous,” she whispers conspiratorially at her boyfriend and the said boyfriend flicks her forehead in retaliation.

“Don’t call him pretty, he’ll hate you.” Myungsoo whispers back just as conspiratorially to Krystal. It takes a few seconds for him to actually register what she just said to him. “Wait, did you just check out another guy in front of me?”

She gives him a playful grin, and Myungsoo can’t even be bothered to care because he knows she is doing this to get a rise out of him (or to spite him for asking her if she had lemon candy four times- either one).

And then Sungjong reaches the duo and stops right in front of Krystal, looking at her curiously. “Hello.” he greets her politely, but his tone is guarded, like he is figuring out whether or not he likes her enough to smile.

Krystal smiles as brightly as she can and both greets Sungjong and introduces herself. “Hi, my name is Krystal Jung.”

Sungjong still has the guarded look on his face and in his tone, but he returns the gesture. “Lee Sungjong.”

There is a moment of awkward silence and Myungsoo is about to awkwardly laugh and try to make them the best of friends, but Krystal beats him to it.

She is still smiling brightly as she takes a bag out of her purse and hands it over to Sungjong, who takes the mysterious baggie with curious hands. “Want a lemon candy? Myungsoo told me you loved these.”

“You told me we didn’t have any!” gapes Myungsoo, staring at Krystal in both amusement and bewilderment. He realizes that his girlfriend has a sick sense of humor in that moment because she likes seeing him fidget and panic right before an important meeting with his best friend.

She sticks her tongue out at him and says quite playfully, “I lied~” Her tone is high and full of aegyo and Myungsoo can’t find it in himself to get mad at her. (It helps that she guiltily admits later that she just wanted to give them to Sungjong herself- because she wants him to like her, since he is so important to her dear boyfriend.)

Sungjong looks at her with a critical eye, then looks wearily at the candy, and then at Myungsoo, and then goes back to Krystal. With a little shrug, he says, “If you can hide lemon candy from Myungsoo hyung for me, then I guess I can like you.”

Myungsoo sighs with an overdramatic and exasperated pout on his face.

Krystal beams.

(He should have known that Krystal and Sungjong would get along beautifully- they do, after all, have common ground. And that is Myungsoo- and messing with Myungsoo.)

-

Myungsoo, for all that he calls Krystal strange and ridiculous (and beautiful and one of a kind), finds that they match more than he initially thought.

She talks a lot, likes to fill in the silence that he brings, but gives way for when Myungsoo feels like babbling. She is energetic, and she spreads that energy to him, makes him embrace it, but there are times when she is just calm and soothing because Myungsoo wants her to be. He is a constant in her bright, crazy, adventurous life- as she is to him (although, he admits, that his life is not nearly as adventurous).

Krystal loves to hold hands and cuddle and do cutesy things like nose kisses and exchanging little notes- and while he never thought he would ever be the type, he finds Krystal wearing down his walls, putting a smile on his face, and being okay with all the affection.

Myungsoo learns quickly that he is willing to do all those things, to let her in, to let her declare that he is her property because he loves seeing her smile (because of him).

-

“Myungsoo, hold still!” Krystal jabs him quickly before going back to her business; it is business that Myungsoo is not yet allowed to look at.

They are both sitting in the grass, having one of their picnic dates; usually, picnic dates are calm and soothing with them both sitting in the grass and basking in the sun. On this given day, however,  Myungsoo has taken to complaining and moving about because his girlfriend is holding his arm hostage- and she has a pen in her hand. “Krystal, what are you even doing?”

She turns around to playfully glare at him (but not before hiding his own arm from view) and merely says, “Hold on!”

He does nothing but sigh, because really- what can he do?

It isn’t until another minute or so later before Krystal spastically lets go of his arm and grins brightly, shrieking, “Done!”

Myungsoo whines a little and claims abuse because of the appendage that his girlfriend practically flung away before playfully rolling his eyes at his girlfriend. “You really don’t know your own strength.

It is her turn to roll her eyes at him and she just points to his arm with a cheeky smile.

The words make him raise a questioning eyebrow as he reads the words etched onto his skin with a black pen.

Property of Krystal Jung.

He snorts at her and says, “Since when was I property?”

She teasingly smiles at him and retorts, “Since I took your heart.”

Krystal has her moments where she makes him completely speechless, and this is one of those moments. The statement is said so cornily and so sincerely that he just accepts her reason with a smile- and even shows off his “tattoo” to Sungjong later that night.

-

Half a year passes in the blink of an eye, and then another six months- and suddenly Myungsoo has been dating Krystal for a full year, and he is pretty much head over heels in love with her.

If anyone ever said to him, “Hey, do you see that girl over there? You’re going to fall so in love with her that it’s hard to breathe sometimes,” he would have laughed in their face and walked away.

If anyone ever said that to him now, he would still laugh in their face, but ask, "How did you know?"

-

“Hey Krystal-” Myungsoo is about to ask her what she wants for lunch when she suddenly glares at him and pouts. He awkwardly stares back at her and asks, “…so you don’t want lunch today?”

“We’ve been dating for a year and three months, and all you ever call me is my name.” She is still pouting and Myungsoo resists the urge to pinch her cheeks (because more likely than anything, she would swat at him for trying to ‘distract her’).

“All you do is call me my name; it’s like the word ‘oppa’ doesn’t exist in your vocabulary.” retorts Myungsoo. He doesn’t really care that she doesn’t use the word ‘oppa’ with him, but this seems like one of the nonsensical arguments that he just needs to humor Krystal with. “I’m two years older than you and your boyfriend, Krystal- can’t I call you by your name?”

She huffs at him and is quick to explain with exaggerated arm movements and facial expressions (which make her look both lovable and ridiculous). “It’s not my fault I didn’t know that we weren't the same age when we first met- you never said anything! And I just got used to calling you by your name, so really, it is kind of your fault for not telling me that you were an oppa in the beginning, and seriously, what is with the fascination and adoration for the word ‘oppa’ anyway? Because-”

She’s rambling, and as cute as she is, Myungsoo wants to get to the bottom of this. “What are you asking for- you want a nickname?” He cuts to the chase because it is pretty obvious what she wants.

Krystal pauses as she stares at him like she has just been caught trying to steal his camera for the day, and then grins toothily up at him. “Yes please~” she says. A few seconds later, she cheekily adds, “Myungsoo oppa,” to her statement.

He chuckles a little at her and asks, “What kind of nickname do you want? Honey? Dear?” He mentally searches for the corniest nicknames that are stored in the depths of his mind. “Wife? Baby? Cupcake?”

She starts laughing once he says ‘cupcake’ and immediately makes an X with her arms. “Those are horrible!” She is still giggling as she requests, “Something else, please.”

Myungsoo goes silent as he looks at her thoughtfully; what would he not mind calling her, but at the same time, would fit how he sees her? He thinks of the word and a small grin makes its way on his face. “Sweetheart?” he says, tone measured and slow, almost like he is testing out the word.

“Sweetheart?” she repeats, tilting her head to the side and almost looking confused.

He nods his head slowly, trying to somehow read her mind and the expression on her face.

And then she smiles at him, slow and beautiful, and tells him, “I love it.”

-

Myungsoo remembers one incident where he finds Krystal hunched over and crying over something that is in her hands.

He takes her in his arms and pats her head, but his appearance seems to make her bawl even louder.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She sniffles, looks at his face for about seven seconds, and then tries even harder to hide the thing that is in her hands.

It takes Myungsoo only a second to figure out that it is his camera that is in her hands. “Krystal, why are you holding my camera like that?” He asks as calmly as he can, hoping that his calm voice soothes her enough to stop her tears.

“I- I just wanted to look at it, to maybe take a picture or something for our anniversary, b-but,” she is looking at him with watery eyes and he kind of wants to smother her in his arms and buy all the ice cream in the world so that she’ll stop crying, but figures that it would be rude to not let her finish her sentence. “But I broke it!” she wails at him, guiltily handing him two parts of his camera (when there is only supposed to be one). “I know you love that camera, and I’ll buy you a new one, and- and I’m sorry!” she babbles- and the look that she gives him, the one that says, please don’t be mad, I didn’t mean to, I love you, kind of hurts his heart. It actually makes his heart want to drown in the puddle of love that he has exclusively for Krystal.

He pauses for a moment, almost confused at the camera parts in his hands, and tries to think of an appropriate response when he suddenly recalls one of their beginning memories- the one where she tells him “one day you’ll love me even more than that camera of yours,” and he suddenly laughs. He is full out chuckling at the truth and validity of the statement that he once wrote off as one of Krystal’s stranger comments during the beginning of the relationship, and she punches him for laughing at her- but he is quick to explain and rectify the situation.

He pulls her close, makes her sit in his lap, and murmurs quietly in her ear, “I love you so much more than that camera.”

Myungsoo later laughs at her again and tells her that she didn’t break his camera, she just took off the exterior lens.

She punches him again for making her cry over nothing.

-

Krystal Jung is someone who is bright and outgoing- someone who is not afraid to be herself or to go after what she wants with all her heart.

That’s what makes Krystal really lovable, in Myungsoo’s own opinion.

But to other people, to the people that are greedy and have no conscience, her parent’s money is worth much more than her heart of gold.

-

“A young girl has been reported to have been kidnapped according to eye-witness reports; the girl has been identified as Krystal Jung. She was last seen walking down the street towards Angnam University before being picked up and forcefully dragged to a nearby black van. Reports say that the suspect is a man with a tall build, long hair, and…” That’s all Myungsoo hears before his mind blanks and he can’t really breathe and he feels body numbing fear course through his veins because-

That’s Krystal.

-

Myungsoo feels frantic, desperate, and so worried that he feels physically sick all the time.

He tries to search for leads, to find her himself, to do anything to help with the investigation.

He tries to console her family, to not worry his family, to still function properly.

He hasn’t slept for three days.

-

“Please- please stop! Please let me go!” Her voice is hoarse and gritty from all the talking, pleading, and crying she has done.

“You’re not in any position to be giving out orders, girlie.” Krystal has two kidnappers, and this one is the meaner one of the two.

Time passes but Krystal doesn’t even know how long she is in solitude for- all she knows is that wherever she is, wherever they’re holding her, it is dark, dirty, and absolutely terrifying. She hates the dark; she never has before, but now, she always will.

It’s obvious that she is there so that her assailants can get ransom money; they have contacted her family three times, and all three times, her parents have agreed to pay the sum. But then, they don’t release her. No, instead, they try to see how much they can get from the Jung family, how much they are willing to pay for their precious daughter’s life. They call again, each time raising the amount, each time howling with laughter and approval over how much they are willing to pay, and letting Krystal pitifully call out to her family for several seconds.

She spends most of her days crying, begging, pleading because she wants out- but no, she’s too important. Her family’s money is too important, so they keep her there, barely feeding her to keep her alive and never touching her except to slap her into silence every once in a while when her sobbing gets uncontrollable.

-

Myungsoo hasn’t slept for five days.

He is still searching- always searching.

But his body is starting to shut down and he is starting to get to the highest points of desperation and he is trying so hard not to break and cry and-

All he wants is to find Krystal.

All he wants is for her to be safe.

-

Krystal has long sense lost her sense of time in the darkness- but one day, whatever day that might be, she hears loud banging. The loud, angry noises wake Krystal up from her fitful sleep and she sits up wearily, almost afraid to hope.

And then a door is broken down from somewhere in the room, light streams in, and she screams once her sensitive eyes make contact with the light from outside because the sensation hurts, because she is no longer used to the thing called light- and because she is finally free. Her kidnappers, both of them, are swarmed once a whole squad of police files into the small, dark room, and they have no choice but to give up.

She hears little fragments of conversations on how she was found, how her family traced the calls, how it has been nine days until she finally cannot take it anymore. Krystal passes out in the arms of a police officer, finally safe.

-

Myungsoo cries once Jessica (in breathless, happy tears) tells him that Krystal is safe and sound. He can’t help the happy tears that roll down her face as Jessica tells him that she is at the hospital, that she is recovering, that she will be fine. (He was never much of a crier, but for Krystal, he will be anything that the situation calls for.)

And then he sleeps for the first time in nine days because he is suddenly exhausted, but he is happy because he has gotten the only thing he has been wishing and pleading for since Krystal’s disappearance- for her to be safe and sound.

-

He is excited to go to the hospital to visit Krystal. Actually, excited probably doesn’t even begin to explain what he is feeling. He feels like running ten miles, jumping across bridges, swimming with dolphins- although the word ‘excited’ might be a lot easier to interpret.

Myungsoo is excited to see Krystal again.

So he trots along behind Krystal’s family with a bouquet of her favorite flowers in hand, wide smile on his face.

And then Myungsoo is decidedly a lot less excited once he actually meets with the doctors (and he gets to stick around because they bypass him, thinking that he is just another member of the Jung family). The doctors tell him that there have been some complications to her recovery- and his stupid mind automatically thinks of the worst things possible- like how she could have cancer (even though that has nothing to do with her kidnapping, but would make for the perfect drama), she could already be dying as they speak (which, is a little more plausible; he suddenly makes a mad dash for the room beside the doctor but is promptly stopped), or she could already be dead (and that just makes Myungsoo want to roll in a ball and cry).

“She lost some of her memories.”

“Oh.” Oh. Myungsoo suddenly feels less inclined to get into fetal position and bawl his eyes out, but an onset of panic takes its place (even though he’s happy that she does not have cancer, nor is she dying, and she is very much alive). “How much has she lost?”

The doctor answers in an almost brutally honest, monotone voice, “About two years worth.”

Myungsoo realizes with an upset jolt that the time frame given is months before he even met Krystal- and the feeling of wanting to cry comes crashing back.

She is still in testing- no one gets to see her that day.

-

He goes to the hospital the next day but he doesn’t get to see her.

She is refusing all visitors.

-

His Krystal, his sweetheart, has been traumatized.

That is what Jessica tells him over the phone the day after the failed hospital visit.

She tells him that Krystal is on the mend in both mind and body- and he is happy to hear that.

But he is not happy to hear of how much she screamed on the first day, how scared of the dark she is, how she flinches whenever someone gets close to her. Jessica tells him this, but the older Jung only knows because the doctors have passed on the information- not even her own family is allowed access to see their baby girl.

And now he knows why Krystal has refused visitors for a full week- she can’t look at someone without thinking that they are going to hurt her. She has been scarred, hurt, and has lost whatever trust she had put into the world.

But she has just given the okay to see Jessica, so he has hope.

-

The second time he visits, he gets as far as Krystal’s hospital room doorway.

He tries to see her a couple days after Jessica’s own meeting with her baby sister in hopes of her being okay with someone that is not family (but loves her just as much).

The door is slightly ajar and Myungsoo steels his heart (and mind), breathing deeply and mentally preparing himself for a talk with a Krystal that does not know herself as his sweetheart.

He peeks a little through the door and he sees her sitting on her bed with a blank stare in place. A curtain is covering almost all of her side of the hospital room except for a little bit that clearly shows his Krystal.

Her eyes look dull, her skin has paled, and she has lost weight that Myungsoo didn’t know she could lose. Myungsoo gapes a little at the sight and is ready to burst in there and take her in his arms and-

And then someone comes into view from behind the slightly closed curtain and Myungsoo’s heart almost stops for a second.

Someone is with Krystal, talking to her.

Someone that Myungsoo does not know.

And that makes him freeze. He is clearly confused as he looks on at Krystal talking to some person he doesn’t know- but is in her hospital room, of all places. (Before him, her boyfriend.)

After careful examining, Myungsoo figures that the guy is probably around Krystal’s age or a little older, not a hospital patient (judging from his attire) and is pretty sweet on Krystal (which just appalls Myungsoo).

He watches the stranger prance around the room, peeling fruits, telling her stories, and making her laugh- it’s almost like he’s not even there, like he is just stuck watching from a screen. He can’t move. He can only watch on as some guy (that’s not him) makes Krystal smile (albeit slightly; his sweetheart looks tired and a little on guard, even still).

And then a nurse all but pushes him out of the way to get into Krystal’s room and the mysterious stranger is shooed out of the room a few moments later. The door has promptly closes on both of their faces.

Myungsoo studies the stranger with more of a critical eye now that he is closer and feels a mysterious sort of dread starting to creep into his heart.

The stranger gives him a little look of curiosity, smiles at him, and then is on his way like he was never in Krystal Jung’s hospital room.

The dread stays with Myungsoo even as the stranger walks away and disappears from his sight.

-

The third time he visits, Myungsoo actually gets into Krystal’s room. “Hi.” He walks in hesitantly and the blank stare he receives in return makes him want to turn back, run home, and make Sungjong get him some more cotton candy.

She is still looking at him blankly when she lets out a flat, “Hi.” Her tone is curious and so are her eyes and- and he has missed looking at her so much that it takes all of his self-control not to hug her right there because he doesn’t want to freak her out.

“Hi,” he repeats, because that’s all he can say. It is like he has forgotten how to formulate sentences.

She stares at him, he stares at her, and silence reigns in the room for several long moments as Myungoo tries his hardest not to smother her in his love.

And then she breaks the awkward tension that they have both created by politely asking, “I’m sorry, but who are you?” He feels her stepping onto his heart, digging her heel into it as she looks at him with an innocently curious gaze, and he feels himself forcing a small smile on his face.

“I’m,” he pauses a little and hopes to god that he doesn’t sound as broken as he feels. “I’m Kim Myungsoo.” He pauses a little and lets himself just breathe for a moment to collect himself.

“Nice to meet you.” There is a pleasant smile on her face, a bright one, a smile that is very similar to the one she gave him the day they met- and that just kind of hurts him right in the heart.

He keeps that forced smile on his face as he quietly returns the sentiment. “Nice to meet you too.” And he hopes that she’ll disregard that his voice breaks halfway through with something akin to heartbreak etching itself into his words.

He has already been informed of her memory loss- but witnessing it first hand, having to introduce himself to her, seeing none of the love for him showing through her eyes-

It hurts.

-

He complains and wails to Sungjong a few hours after being reunited with Krystal (somewhat).

Myungsoo has called for an emergency best friend meeting- and he has called for the big guns.

So Sungjong waddles on over to Myungsoo’s house with several blankets, kettle corn, horror movies, and cotton candy all in his arms.

He drops the aforementioned items in Myungsoo’s arms and flatly demands to know what’s going on. “What happened? Or who died?”

Myungsoo solemnly informs him by saying, “Krystal’s memories have died.”

Sungjong promptly smacks him in the head and forces him to explain. After Myungsoo is done, Sungjong lets out a breathy little “Oh,” and pats his back as comfortingly as he can, the situation slowly sinking into his mind.

Myungsoo looks absolutely miserable as he repeats the solemn, “Oh.”

-

Myungsoo goes to see her the next day after getting an hour long pep-talk from Sungjong that consisted of statements like, “go get your girl!”, “don’t give up!”, and “if you won her heart once, from sitting in a library of all places, you can win her heart again.” The last one actually gives him hope and makes him feel a little less miserable.

The next time he goes to the increasingly familiar hospital, he sees the mysterious stranger again.

It looks like a normal hospital scene straight out of a drama, with the guy happily talking to the girl sitting in the hospital bed and taking care of her.

Myungsoo notes that Krystal’s eyes have a little shine in them (in comparison to the first time he had seen her) when looking at that stranger- and just noticing that that makes Myungsoo sick to his stomach.

So he walks in there, and receives a little wave as a greeting- and he finally meets the mysterious stranger.

He forces a smile on his face and greets the guy sitting in a chair next to Krystal’s bed like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Hi, I’m Kim Myungsoo.”

“Hello, my name is Lee Taemin.” Myungsoo wants to hate him for sitting so naturally next to Krystal, but he can’t only because when Taemin smiles at him, he can tell that it’s genuine. That makes him want to hate Taemin even more.

He nods a little and turns his attention to Krystal who is staring at the both of them with an almost quizzical look on her face. Myungsoo doesn’t stop looking at Krystal even when Taemin addresses him with a question.

“So have you known Krystal long?” It is one of those simple, awkward questions that allows for conversation to take place- and Myungsoo obliges.

“I’ve known her for about a year and a half,” he admits. “We were…” he pauses slightly, not quite knowing what to say. “Krystal and I were really good friends.” He opts out of saying their real relationship because it somehow doesn’t seem right.

Krystal makes a little noise of understanding and nods at him- she may no longer know him, but he still knows her. The look on her face is telling; it is saying was I really friends with this guy? And Myungsoo bitterly thinks that Krystal should just stab him in the heart right there just to end it all. The uncertainty in not knowing who Myungsoo is shows clearly on Krystal's face and Myungsoo can't really think straight for several moments.

But then he turns and he asks Taemin the same question. Taemin smiles again and explains his story with Krystal.

Myungsoo learns that Taemin met Krystal after visiting a friend who broke a bone, who is coincidentally two rooms down from Krystal’s. (“Jinki hyung was always kind of clumsy.”) Myungsoo nods at the story and is inwardly scowling as Taemin continues to talk.

“She looked so sad that I just had to talk to her.” Taemin explains to him, his smile speaking of things that Myungsoo doesn’t wish to know about. “I saw her standing outside of her room, looking a little lost, and then-” Taemin shrugs a little and looks at Krystal, who is smiling at him gently. He finds out that Taemin has been here every single day (after visiting his poor, clumsy Jinki hyung), and has slowly been cheering Krystal up and letting her trust people again.

He learns that Taemin was the one who pushed her into seeing visitors.

Myungsoo realizes that Taemin has been there for Krystal throughout her whole hospital experience and he is so close to throwing up that he has to excuse himself for a few moments so that he can just breathe.

Taemin’s the one, he learns, that has helped her cope. Taemin is the one that has chased Krystal’s fears away with his bright smile and funny stories.

Myungsoo stays there for another two hours, conversing with both Taemin and Krystal, waiting for any opening or hint from Krystal that would allow him to talk about her past.

Instead, he just hears (not from their mouths, no, from their eyes and their hearts) just how important Taemin has become to Krystal. He gets to know Taemin as well, which just makes it all the much harder to hate someone who means no harm- who doesn’t even know the harm that he is inflicting.

And as if it couldn’t get much harder to hate Taemin, Myungsoo sees a little bit of Krystal in Taemin. He sees the childishness, the heart of gold, the infectious smile. And he hates that he sees that, so he trains his eyes onto Krystal instead.

He sees the Krystal from almost two years ago, the one he doesn’t really know, the one that’s a little more closed off than he is used to. He sees the one from the beginning of their relationship, the one that has yet to grow into an adult- right now, he sees the Krystal before his love. (And that hurts, but not as much as looking into her eyes and seeing no affection from them- instead, he sees the affection that used to solely be his directed towards Lee Taemin.)

Krystal asks no questions about her past.

Myungsoo figures that she just doesn’t want to know.

-

Krystal makes exceptional progress with her health.

She makes absolutely no progress with her lost memories.

The doctors say that although it is sad, it’s not uncommon. Many victims go through the rest of their lives never recovering any of their lost memories, no matter how hard they search for them.

Others choose to forget about what has been lost so that they can get back on their feet and get a move on with their life.

And some just don’t want to remember because they are happy with how things are.

-

Scars, and fears, run deep.

Jessica tells him this solemnly when she explains to him that the topic of her missing memories, the incident, and the people she is forgetting in running away from those lost memories, comes into discussion in the Jung household.

Krystal is suddenly so terrified that she almost has a relapse.

Jessica tells him that she is sorry.

-

Two days later, Sungjong is pushing Myungsoo through the hospital doors and coming along for the trip (for emotional support) because he can no longer take Myungsoo cursing at a guy Sungjong doesn’t even know about- so this kind of turns into a visit so that Sungjong can meet the infamous Lee Taemin (who Myungsoo wants to hate, but can’t- because goddammit, Lee Taemin is a good person).

Sungjong walks into the room like it is his own and Krystal looks at the intruder, amused.

Myungsoo walks in a couple paces later with a sheepish smile on his face. “This is Lee Sungjong- you were really good friends with him too.” he introduces as he walks through.

A little smile is on Krystal’s face as Sungjong offers her a lemon candy flippantly, and when she smiles mischievously, tells him that it’s good and that she would hide them for herself, Sungjong melts and asks if he can hug her (because he knows that the Krystal he has come to know is still there). He doesn’t wait for her approval and is already hugging her head to his chest (like he has been doing for the past year).

She flails around for a little bit and lets out a tinkling giggle before Sungjong lets her go and affectionately pats her head (and looks pointedly at Myungsoo, saying with his eyes, what are you waiting for, you idiot?).

And then her smile brightens once she looks at the door and Myungsoo doesn’t even have to turn around to know that Lee Taemin has walked through the door.

“Hello,” he chirps, placing new flowers onto a nearby table. He extends a courteous hand to Sungjong and says, “I don’t believe we have met.”

And the Sungjong is looking at him critically and flat out staring at him, which makes Myungsoo sigh. Sungjong shakes his hand cautiously and pouts, looking at the kind smile on Taemin’s face and the flowers on the table. “You just had to be a beautiful person, didn’t you?”

After that comment, Myungsoo decides that it is time to leave because Taemin has walked up to Krystal and has given her a one-armed hug, which is unfortunate because Sungjong watches the exchange with a scowl.

And then Sungjong is rolling up his sleeves and he looks ready for a fight- and Sungjong can be vicious when need be, so Myungsoo announces that they have to leave right away.

The tables have turned as it is Myungsoo who has to push Sungjong out of the hospital doors for fear of him starting a fight with Lee Taemin for taking Krystal away. But Myungsoo shakes his head and tells Sungjong that, no, he is not taking her away. She is choosing to walk away.

-

It is a habit, nowadays, to visit the hospital. His feet automatically take him there, but on this day, he cannot bring himself to walk into her room.

It is because Taemin is already in there.

And she looks happy. (Happy without him.)Almost like she is in love. (But of course, not with him.)

He wants to scream at her, shake her shoulders, tell her what they used to have, what they can have, who she is to him- but he holds his tongue and smiles at her because she looks happy- even though that happiness means that he is being replaced.

So he walks away instead.

-

The sixth time he meets up with Krystal is the day of her official discharge from the hospital.

It is also the day when he finds out that Krystal is officially no longer his girlfriend (although he supposes that she was no longer his girlfriend long ago)-

She’s Lee Taemin’s.

(His heart breaks when no one is there to pick up the pieces. Instead, he leaves his broken heart just by Krystal’s feet, where she is sitting happily next to Taemin.)

-

“Myungsoo hyung, you should tell her,” Sungjong has an unwavering gaze; Myungsoo has known that for several years. In fact, he normally laughs at whoever is subject to it (because Sungjong can get fierce when he wants to). But now he is on the receiving end of that stare, and he is pretty sure that he hates it.

“Tell her what?” He blinks in acted surprise and puts confusion onto his face. He shifts a little and Myungsoo already knows that Sungjong isn’t going to take any of his bull.

“You should tell her who you really are, hyung,” Sungjong looks serious and it is almost enough to wipe the façade off Myungsoo’s face- but it’s not enough.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sungjong,” Myungsoo frowns a little and turns away, wanting this conversation to be over.

“I’m serious, Myungsoo,” Sungjong has dropped the honorifics because he is that serious; his face is solemn and his eyes are piercing. “Tell her who you are, who you were to her, and how much you love her.”

Myungsoo stares straight back into that piercing gaze, and for a moment, his act of indifference and confusion falters- and Sungjong sees the hurt, sees the unshed tears. “Even if I tell her, what’s going to change?” Myungsoo whispers softly, quietly, and subdued. He sounds a little broken inside and he feels like it too. “Will she want to be with me again, will she suddenly fall in love with me again? I’m not what she wants anymore- I’m not. I can’t be.”

“Myungsoo, you don’t know that.”

There is a little sarcastic laugh that “No, actually, I do. She wants Lee Taemin, the guy that she found solace in, the one that was there for her, and the one that she’s in love with right now, at this moment. Why would she want me? I’m just Kim Myungsoo, the stranger.”

“But she loved you- and you still love her,” Sungjong argues back, face heated and words angry. Myungsoo wonders for a moment why he’s not the one raging angry, why he isn’t the one willing to potentially ruin her happiness now just so he has a shot of getting back in the picture; but then he figures that he was always a little too selfless with her, never really willing to hurt or endanger her.

Myungsoo looks at him, and sighs, tired of everything. “Shut up, Sungjong.” He looks down a little, can no longer meet Sungjong's gaze. "She's happy, Sungjong. Happy." Happy with Lee Taemin. Happy without me.

Sungjong looks exasperated, tired, and ready to slap his best friend upside his head. “You’re letting her throw away all the memories, all the love that you two shared- Myungsoo, you’re letting her throw you away.”

The words sting- makes his heart hurt. But Myungsoo figures that in remembering him, she might remember those fateful days when she was taken captive- what has happened to her and all the fear and pain that comes with those memories. And Myungsoo doesn’t want that. He wants her happy, and those memories won’t make her happy.

“I’ll let her throw me away.”

-

“Oh, Myungsoo.” He runs into her again, and he calls the event a planned accident (because while he didn’t exactly know she would be here, he knew she favored this café). He has run into her because he wants one last moment with her- just one. (But he finds it funny that even though their relationship has gotten a restart, Krystal still doesn't refer to him with honorifics.)

He smiles a little at her and murmurs, “Hi, Krystal.” They’re stuck staring at each other a little too long because it starts to get a little awkward and Myungsoo starts feeling suffocated. And then she quirks a smile and all the tension disappears.

Krystal tilts her head to the side as she casually says, “I actually saw Sungjong a little while ago and he told me that you had something to tell me?” There is a curious expression on her face, and it actually looks like she’s trying hard to figure out what that something actually is. "He looked really mad about it too- like he was ready to fight someone."

“Really?” He puts on a surprised face, saying as convincingly and playfully as he can, “The little jerk must have been lying.” But he knows that Sungjong’s not the lying jerk- no, Myungsoo figures that the title should belong to him instead.

“If he ever hears about you calling him a lying little jerk, you’re going to get it,” she teases, eyes bright and lips curled upwards.

He chuckles a little bit, and before he knows it, he lets a comment slip. “You have a pretty smile.” Myungsoo freezes a little, but then figures that it’s too late to say anything to cover it up, and it’s not like he can take it back (because it’s the truth). He has been holding so much back that he’s not surprised that a little comment has managed to sneak past his defenses. (And he always thought that Krystal could coax him into saying anything with that smile.)

Krystal laughs a little in embarrassment and her cheeks are coated a light pink when she bashfully says, “Thank you.”

And then Myungsoo gets a little idea that will allow him to revisit the past, even if it’s just for a moment- and even if Krystal will never really know what he is doing. “You’re welcome,” he grins at her. “Oh, and did you know, I’m on a mission right now.” He purposefully whispers so that she has to lean a little closer to hear him and he bends his knees a little so that they’re both eye-level with one another.

“And what’s that?” She’s humoring him and the whole backwardness of this situation is making it hard for Myungsoo to breathe.

He smiles, his own teeth flashing and his eyes turning into beautiful moon crescents. “It’s to always keep that smile on your face.”

She giggles a little at the whole situation and pushes him away playfully, still blushing and still smiling. Krystal looks at him and suddenly looks a little lost- but then someone else’s tinkling laughter can be heard and the moment is gone.

“Hey, no making moves on my girl.” Taemin waltzes up to them right at that moment (Myungsoo didn’t even know he was in the area) and hands Krystal a cup of coffee before slinging an arm over her shoulder; the statement comes with a teasing grin, but Myungsoo knows in the seriousness of Taemin’s gaze that he senses something- maybe he has an inkling of the past, of what used to be. Or maybe he is just a protective boyfriend. But Myungsoo will never know. (But Myungsoo does knows what the arm around her shoulder means- he has given the same message many times. She’s mine.)

“Hey oppa,” When Krystal greets Taemin with a sweet smile and a kiss on the cheek, Myungsoo winces a little (even though he tries hard not to- but everything just kind of stings and the ‘oppa’ is practically a punch in the face). They smile a little at each other and Myungsoo sighs- he knows it is time to leave.

He holds up his hands in what looks like a mock surrender, but he knows it’s the truth as he steps away in a joking (but completely serious) manner. “I would never think to do that. It was just a joke.” But it is the utmost truth.

He waves a cheerful goodbye and walks backwards to leave- because it is clear from Taemin’s arm around her shoulder that he has overstayed his welcome.

In my entire life, there is no one else that I love like how I love you, no one else that I love more. And that means there is no one’s happiness that I prize above yours, no one’s smile that is more precious than yours. And to keep that happiness, I’ll do anything.

He is about to leave, but he throws one last smile, one last wave to Krystal.

So you can throw me away if you want to, Krystal.

He stares at her, and she stares back unflinchingly; his eyes soften and he lets the love that he has always had for her, always will have for her, show through what most consider the windows to his soul. “Bye, sweetheart.” he mouths to her- only to her. Always, only to her. She stares back with her head titled to the side, like she is thinking hard about something, or digging up an old memory- and whether that is a flash of recognition or something else that he sees in her eyes, he’ll never know.

He’s out the door.

(And out of her life.)

Throw me away.

end.

What the hell, why did I break up MyungStal after almost four thousand words of MyungStal cuteness? Oh my gosh, I built up their relationship block by block just to smash it into pieces- and, and, Taemin what the hell are you doing here?

In any case, I hope you lovelies liked it at least a little bit <3 My heart goes out to Myungsoo here ;A; and he kind of gave up too easily, huh? .___. but I couldn’t bear to make him fight for her, and still lose her. ;A; I wanted to make it a happy ending, but it just didn’t work out here. 3 I hope my whole shifting back and forth from the past to the present to just staying in the present after Krystal lost her memories wasn’t confusing. ._____.;; but yay, almost 9K words worth of MyungStal~ yay to the OTP, even if Myungsoo (and Krystal) gave up and I just barely followed the prompt >< haha.

I dedicate this to Lee Jongsuk because I had no idea what to write for this subround until I remembered the scene in School 2013 where someone asks him, “What do you want to throw away?” and he heartbreakingly answers “Me.” So, to the Lee Jongsuk that plays a wonderful Go Namsoon (that makes me want to drown in a puddle of feels), I dedicate this to you LOL. Now let’s get married.

Bye lovelies <3