JS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :)

You stand in the corner doing warm up exercises for your vocal cords and throat. What am I even here for? You remember back to being called up at 3:00am this morning from SM's casting manager who ordered you to be in the practice room on floor 12 to sing at 5:30am sharp.

"What song should I be singing?" You ask confused at the sudden request.

"A song which shows off your talent. You know what I mean right? This isn't your standard monthly evaluation SaeRyun." The manager emphasised.

"Is someone special going to be there?" You pushed.

"I can't tell you anymore but listen to me very carefully. Make. It. Count." She replied firmly.

I spent 2 hours and a half worrying my off instead of practicing! You run your hands through your hair frustratingly and observe the other people in the room. You all knew what they had called you in for. This was make or break. This was what we had been training and training hours upon hours for. 7 other boys and girls around your age were nervously standing around.

Lee Soo Man walks into the practice room and everyone bows.

All 8 of you would be considered the best trainee vocalists of SM at this very moment. The youngest is a 17 year old girl and the oldest being a 21 year old boy. Suddenly the door bursts open at exactly 5:30am sharp and in walks the man who makes it all happen. You all line up in a straight line and face him. The man who can change your life within the blink of an eye. The man who can change it for better or for worse.

Lee Soo Man.

"Annyeonghaseyo seon-saeng-nim." You all politely greet.

"Mmmm." He nods whilst taking off his big, fluffy coat, black hat and thick, black gloves.

He's a man of few words but holds so much power and authority that even the sight of him makes everyone in the room cringe and the atmosphere turn chilly.

"Mr Lee, please sit on the chair-"

"Cho Jino, sing." Soo Man demands as he interrupts the casting manager.

Everyone in the room gulps for Jino despite Jino being the only one who has tasted debuting. He was a part of SM the Ballad but had no further promotions for some reason. Jino steps in front of everyone and begins singing.

"Somehow as I live, you might find me
With that expectation, I difficultly pass today

I have a really bad memory but I remember
Everything about you, and every memory with you,

I can't forget you, I want to hold onto you but
The only thing I can do in front of separation is
Comfortably letting you go so I can at least make the good memories last
It's alright even if I remain here alone, it's alright if you go
The thing that I have the most confidence in the world,
Is of course as always,
Waiting for you..."

Jino steps back into the line and smiles.

Lee Soo Man nods and calls up the next name. One after the other everyone sings their hearts out for this old man but you are yet to have your turn. The 7th person ends their song and you begin to doubt yourself.

Why has everyone else sang Korean songs? The casting manager said this was going to make or break us so why did everyone play it safe? I mean sure it was risky singing epic Korean ballads but wouldn't it be going out on a limb if one were to sing an English song?

"Kim Saeryun. It's your turn." Soo Man breaks off your train of thought.

Your heart thumps, you take a deep breath and proceed to the front of the line. You relax your hands which have unconsciously balled into fists and close your eyes. A picture of her pops into your mind. She's smiling that adorable smile you love, the one that reaches her eyes and causes them too to smile. She's the one you love. She's the one you will sing to, not this old man in front of you. You open your eyes, lift your chin up and begin singing.

"I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me...
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you, you, you."

These are the lyrics to Whitney Houston's 'I Have Nothing' check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxYw0XPEoKE @ 3:09

You finish the last lingering note and bow before rejoining the group.

Soo Man stares at the group meaningfully before turning to leave with the casting manager. As soon as the door closes you all drop to the floor and heave a big sigh of relief. The 8 of you turn to each other and laugh whilst lying on the ground.

"Yah, Kim Saeryun! Since when were you so in love with Mr President?" Jino teases you.

"Pabo, he clearly wasn't singing to the old man!" A girl laughs.

"You undoubtedly weren't either! You had trouble containing your laughter whilst singing!" Another girl rebukes.

"Yeah! You're lucky your song was a happy one." A boy chimes in.

You smile at your friends who are also rivals at the same time. "Was I that obvious?" You ask.

"Extremely! So... which lucky girl was it?" They shout back.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." You chuckle.

The door reopens and you all sit straight up. At the sight of the person everyone relaxes and lies back down. "Everyone can go now." The casting manager announces. You all look at each other confusingly and start to exit.

As you go pick up your bag to leave, the casting manager appears at your side. "Stay behind." She requests. You purposefully take your time in packing up your belongings and once the last trainee leaves, you stand up and wait for the casting manager.

"Look I'll make it short, sweet and simple for you seeing as you probably have somewhere to be right now." She starts. Oh no... oh no. I blew it. I knew it! I should have played it safe and sang a Korean song! Why did I have to show off?! You're about to open your mouth to defend your decisions but she cuts in before you can.

"Congratulations Kim Saeryun, President Lee was exceptionally amazed at what you just did and wants you to debut early next year!" She informs you with a great smile.

"..." You hang your mouth wide open.

"Saeryun-ssi?" She asks concerned.

"I'm going to debut. I'M going to debut. I'M GOING TO DEBUT!"

"Yes, haha. It's a solo debut so President Lee has high hopes for you. We haven't had a solo artist since Boa. Go home and celebrate and be ready for album recordings in the next few days." She informs.

"I'm going to debut." You repeat to yourself over and over again. You reach the door and turn back to look at the casting manager. "Merry Christmas noona!" You smile.

"Yes, Merry Christmas to you too Kim Saeryun." She replies.

You enter the elevator and press G. I'm going to debut. I can't believe it! All those years of hard work and running back and forth between the agency and school have finally paid off! I have to tell someone, I need to tell someone. You pull out your phone ready to dial your parents' number but stop. I should tell her first. She was the one who started this. As you exit the elevator and emerge in the lobby, someone pulls your arm back.

"Joohyun's got a gift for you~~~~" Hyoyeon sings. Your eyes widen and you can't but smile that gummy smile of yours which is only achievable when Joohyun is mentioned or around.

"Yah Hyoyeon! I shotgunned telling him!" Taeyeon whines. A few more SNSD members make their way over to you but you still can't see Joohyun.

"Where's Joohyun?" You ask.

"She's coming down with Sunny and Yoona." Yuri tells you.

"Are you guys off to somewhere? You're all dressed up." You question.

"We're just getting ready for a schedule tonight." Tiffany smiles.

"Why were you spacing out just now? Something good happen?" Jessica queries.

"Something fantastic just happened!" You laugh.

"What was it?!" The girls pry.

The elevator opens and Sunny, Yoona and Joohyun walk out. All you can see is Joohyun and you see her look up. She brightens up immediately and beams back.

"Joohyun!" You welcome completely ignoring all the other beauties in front of you.

"YAH KIM SAERYUN! What about your noonas!?" Sunny hollers.

"Hi there Yoona and Sunny noonas." You sheepishly mumble.

"Hahaha, he's too obvious." SNSD giggle. Joohyun just looks at you confusingly and you pretend to shake your head and not understand either.

"What are you doing here?" Joohyun asks.

"Are you free now? Just for a few hours? I need to tell you something incredible!" You plead.

"I have a schedule..." Joohyun turns to her members.

"But its later on! Go have fun you two~" They all mock.

"Are you sure?" Joohyun confirms.

"Pabo! Just go with your boyfriend already!" Yoona taunts.

"He's not my boyfriend unnie! You should know that already!" Joohyun defends. You shake your head whilst grinning at the statement and pulling Joohyun out of the building.

"But they're right you know." You state.

"About what?" She asks.

"The boyfriend thing."

"You're not my boyfriend. You're a friend of mine who happens to be a boy. Besides, you should really get yourself a girlfriend before your good looks go to waste!" Even though you knew she was right, it still hurt when she said it so openly and bluntly. You turn to her and pull her hood over her head.

"You should learn to take better care of yourself. You're an idol but you can't even keep yourself healthy. Look, you're already going red for the cold!" You fuss. Little did you know that she wasn't going red because of the weather but rather she was blushing because of you.

"Arasso, arasso. Kim Saeryun, since when did you become so bossy?"

"I think you're personality is starting to rub off on me Joohyun-ah." You tease. She turns to face you, shyly smiles and playfully pushes you to the side.

"Whatever. So where are we off to?" She asks. You look at your watch and smile. It's only 6:30am which means I could very well spend a whole day with Joohyun! Just the two of us...

"Let's walk to the park!" You drag her along.

"But it's so cold!" She cutely complains. Normally you would waver and go some place warmer for her but today was different. Christmas is the Day!

You enter the steel gates of the park, protrude your left elbow to the side and nudge Joohyun. She immediately hooks her right arm through your left arm and the two of you proceed to walk. It's silent but it's a comfortable silence which only the both of you can establish. With any other person, Joohyun would think that it's awkward but would smile to be polite whilst you would try to constantly come up with things to say.

"Have you read the book?" Her voice tinkles.

"Mmmm I have. It was interesting... UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon has had quite a life."

"Yeah, isn't he amazing?" She asks with a sparkle in her eyes.

The two of you approach the beautiful stone fountain. Okay, I said Christmas is the Day! Keep to your promise Kim Saeryun! Man up and confess after telling her the good news. You slowly guide her to the edge of the fountain and sit her down. You clear your throat and feel your heart pound as you stand before her. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump! If I'm this nervous to tell her good news how the heck am I going to confess?!

"You okay?" Joohyun asks you as she touches your right hand.

"Joohyun-ah, do you still remember that promise you made me a few years ago?" You start.

"You made me make a million promises with you," She frowns and you return the frown. "There's the one where I promised that I would marry a guy who loved me more than I could ever imagine?" You just stare back at her as she racks through her long list of promises to you. "That if a male idol ever asked me to date them then I would have to tell you first and then reply?" You continue staring at her.

These promises make me sound so possessive. "There's also the oppa one..." Joohyun remembers and you raise your eyebrows anticipating what she'll say. "That if you ever debut then I would have to call you Saeryun oppa for the rest of our lives." To this you widely grin. She looks at you confusedly.

"I'm going to debut early next year Joohyun-ah." You hold both her hands in yours and whisper to her. You smile as you see her gorgeous face turn from puzzlement to astonishment and finally to pure elation. Joohyun smiles so widely as she stands up and hugs you.

This is one of the few times she has initiated skinship and it feels so sweet. She jumps up and down as she hugs you tightly and squeals. "OMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGOMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT SAERYUNNIE!!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO DEBUT!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONSSSSS! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! I KNEW IT!"

She breaks away too fast, for you, from the hug and holds you back to beam at you. The both of you laugh and repeat at the same time, "I can't wait for the debut!"

"Who are you debuting with?" She asks.

"No-one. They said I'll be the next SM solo artist after Boa sunbaenim."

"Have you told anyone else yet?!"

"No, you're the first person I wanted to tell."

"YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS SAERYUNNIE!"

"Saeryun OPPA to you now." You smirk.

"Saeryun... oppa. Gosh it feels weird, haha." It's taken long enough. You sigh in contentment.

"Let's go tell your parents then!" Joohyun suggests.

"But don't you have a schedule?"

"We're meeting up at the dorm at 9pm and its 7am right now so we have roughly... 14 hours to celebrate!" She informs.

"I guess but it'll be a 8 hours trip up and back..."

"Yeah so we can spend 2 or 3 hours with your parents before heading back and celebrating for either 3 or 4 hours in Seoul oppa~"

"Then what are we waiting for?" You grin.

You take her hand and lead her to the train station.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

After getting your tickets to Mokpo and hopping on the train, the two of you are sitting alone with Joohyun on the window seat and you on the aisle seat.

"It's been so long Joohyun, I'm so nervous."

"Don't be oppa! I'm sure your family are awaiting your return." You've always loved, and still do, her optimism and innocence. It was the essence of her soul and personality. She takes out her iPod and gives you an earphone and puts the other in her ear.

" Alone in the room that is more spacious than usual
It’s over, guess it’s over
The story created by the two of us was also in vain
I can't believe it could crumble so easily

One mistake, got a one regret
Nobody is perfect
Even if I try to say and hear it
The pain won't heal no matter what

Right now, if I could ride a time machine
and go to meet you
I wouldn’t wish for anything else
Before the memories become distant and fleeting...
I need a time machine oh
I need a time machine oh

Time slows to a crawl when I’m by myself
The punishment for my mistake is severe
The last words that you left behind
Even now, I can't stop [re-playing] the refrain
My heart still hurts

Just one mistake, just one regret
Even now, I still love you selfishly

Right now, if I could ride a time machine
and go to meet you
I wouldn’t wish for anything else
Before the memories become distant and fleeting...
I need a time machine

If I'm able to meet you passing through time and space
Even if it's heading to
The same conclusion, I'm sure
There won't be any regrets remaining

Right now, if I could ride a time machine
and go to meet you
I wouldn’t wish for anything else
Before the memories become distant and fleeting...
Yeah, before the memories of us are forgotten...
Gimme a time machine oh
Gimme a time machine oh
Gimme a time machine"

The song that is playing is SNSD's Time Machine. Despite it being in Japanese, it was still one of your favourite song of theirs.

"Are you guys ready for your January comeback?" You ask.

"We are. We're pretty excited because it's really colourful and abstract than before. Have you seen our teaser photos?"

"It looks it but it kind of reminds me of F(x) sunbae-nim's recent comeback with Electric Shock. Don't get me wrong though! I think it suits you guys very much! But why would I look at the teaser photos when I can see you all in the flesh?" You tease. She playfully punches your arm and smiles.

For the rest of the four hour trip you guys don't talk much besides catching up on things that have occurred in the past few days. Gradually the both of you fall asleep and in true Korean-love-drama-style, Joohyun's head rests on your right shoulder as your head lays on top of hers and both your hands are intertwined.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are now arriving at Mokpo Station." The announcer reports. The both of you yawn and stretch. You turn to look down at your restricted hand to see Joohyun's fingers interlaced with yours and you feel yourself blush. OH. EM. GEE. I'VE BEEN HOLDING HER HAND FOR FOUR FRIGGING HOURS. She looks down at her hand too and shyly pulls her hand back to stretch.

You get off the train and look for the exit. "I'm so glad to be home." You breathe in Mokpo.

"Mmmm, shall we catch a taxi?" She asks.

You exit the train station to see a taxi waiting. You turn to her and nod at the idle taxi. You get into the taxi and ask him to drive to your home. It's been almost 2 years since you last visited your family as the company didn't like trainees and artists frequently visiting their homes.

You admire the fact that your hometown has not changed at all since you last saw it and you notice that you have indeed been homesick. You gaze at Joohyun and feel her sadness for not being home for a year. You clasp her hand and squeeze it to reassure her. I have a surprise for you.

After a further 10 or so minutes you arrive at a cute and small house in which you call home. The both of you argue about who is going to pay the taxi fee as the driver watches the two of you amusingly. "Ahh, young love. I wish I could return to those days." The taxi driver reminisces.

"Ahjussi! We're not lovers!" Joohyun shouts. You take this opportunity to pay the fare and push Joohyun to the front door.

"Since I paid for the taxi fare you should be the one to ring the doorbell." You order.

"But this is your home oppa!" You frown at her unwillingness and she caves in. She lightly presses the button and the doorbell rings. After a few seconds you hear the footsteps running towards the door and before you know it, the door bursts open.

"Umma!?" Joohyun yells.

"My precious Joohyun! How have you been?!" Her mother fusses. From behind Joohyun's mother you see your own beloved mother emerge from the kitchen.

"Umma! Your precious son has returned!" You announce. She rushes over to you with her arms wide open and embraces you tightly.

"My Saeryunnie! You've grown so handsome! Don't you reckon Joohyun-ah?" Your mother admires.

"Nae?" Joohyun asks flustered.

"Umma!" You shout in protest.

"Arasso, arasso! Come in my children." Your mothers laugh.

You go into the kitchen and see that your mother is cooking. You gaze around the kitchen and smile. It's the same as always.

"What brings you two down here today?" Your mother questions.

"Oppa has good news." Joohyun proudly tells.

"Oppa?" The mother chorus.

You and Joohyun look at each other and witness the others' cheeks pink.

"I'm going to debut early next year as a solo artist!" You reveal triumphantly.

"REALLY?!?!" The two mothers holler.

You grin and nod as Joohyun claps. "Which is why I now call Saeryunnie, oppa. We made a pact when he first became a trainee that I would call him so when he debuts. If I didn't, he would never stop hassling me to call him so."

"Oh." The mothers deflate.

"What do you mean 'oh'?" You ask.

"Well, it's just-" The two ladies glance at each other and then look at you with eyes of pity. "We thought it was because of... great news."

Why the sympathetic eyes today?! It's not like Joohyun had already outright rejected you. I mean sure it feels like she's friendzoned you most of the time but there are and were moments where you doubted whether the two of you really were friends; perhaps more. Not best friends or friends with benefits but something very close.

"It is great news though! He's going to debut! As a solo artist! SM only debuts solo artists if they're amazingly magnificent umma and aunty!" Joohyun naively defends.

The two women just shake their heads and sigh as you awkwardly stand there pretending not to know what they were really referring to.

"We should call our husbands up and get them to take the rest of the day off as our children are here!" Your mother tells Joohyun's mother. The latter nods at the suggestion and begins to dial her husband's phone number.

After making the calls and hearing your fathers' promises to be home within the hour, Joohyun decides to go to the bathroom. As soon as she is out of hearing range, the mothers each grab an arm and pull you down on a seat to interrogate you.

"Is there really nothing going on between the two of you?!" You nod.

"Has she rejected you?" You shake your head.

"When did you last confess?"

"How many times have you confessed?"

"Has she confessed?"

"Is she dating someone else?"

"Are you still interested in her?"

They relentlessly fire question after question at you despite you not replying to any as you're not given enough time to.

"I... still haven't confessed yet." You whisper. They both gasp at you in horror, embarrassment and... pity.

"Why?" They chorus.

"I-I haven't found the right time to. She's always either getting ready for a comeback in Japan or Korea or I'm being occupied with training long hours to debut." You sigh.

"You do still like her right?" Joohyun's mother confirms.

"Yes... I like her so much right now that it could almost even be borderline love." You smile at the thought.

"My boy, you should make a move before she gets taken away by another man!" Your mother advises.

"I know, that is why Christmas is the Day!" You proudly announce. The women start to squeal and pat your arms.

"That's today! Good luck Saeryun-ah!~~" They cry.

"I just hope I don't ruin our friendship with this confession." You mumble.

Joohyun's mother squeezes your cheek before smiling and saying. "Don't worry, Joohyun will understand. She's not the type of girl to let this affect your 12 year bond." You look into her eyes and see the pity she had for you yet again. Little did you know it wasn't pity for you but for your innocence.

"Umma and aunty! Why are you having a gathering today?" Joohyun asks as she returns. She enters the kitchen to see her mother pinching your cheeks and your own mother patting your shoulder as you sit on a chair and attempt to smile at her. "Err..."

They pull back their arms and wipe their hands on their aprons before going back to cooking. "Well Saeryun just called me before and said that he was coming home with you-" Your mother begins.

"Yeah and then he called me to ask me to come over because you were too." Joohyun's mother ends.

"Oppa called my mother too?"

"Of course, Joohyun didn't so obviously it was up to me to do so." You scoff. Joohyun kindly smiles at you.

After another half an hour, the cooking was all done and the four of you were setting up the table. "Where are your fathers? They should be home by now." Your mother ponders. As soon as she finished the last word, the doorbell rings and you and Joohyun race to open the door.

She reaches it before you but you manoeuvre your arms so that you can open the door. "Oppa, move!~~" She yells.

The door opens to reveal two average height men with slightly grey hair.

"Appa!" You both gleefully shout and hug them.

"Saeryunnie!"

"Joohyunnie!" The fathers both coo.

All four of you walk to the kitchen as your mothers finish setting up the table. Your dads go to sit on opposite ends of the table whilst your mothers each sit next to their husbands leaving Joohyun and you to sit opposite each other with your mothers on your sides.

Your father picks up his glass of water and downs it. "So what's the good news my dear?' He asks your mother. The mothers' and Joohyun's eyes all land on you. You clear your throat.

"I'm going to be debuting early 2013." You grin at the two fathers.

"THAT'S EXCELLENT NEWS MY BOY! WELL DONE! CONGRATULATIONS!" The two men cheer.

"Yes so let's eat lunch already!" The mothers commence.

Time flies by as your parents ask you and Joohyun about trainee life, idol life, school life and home-away-from-home life. You and Joohyun both reply and try to describe as much as you can without hinting at the hardships you both face to debut or make comebacks.

"You've both lost weight, especially you son." Your father jokingly punches your chin to the side. You hold his fist and smile.

"I've only lost a few kilos appa. It's not too bad." You reassure him.

"Don't worry uncle, I've been monitoring him!" Joohyun laughs.

"You'd make a fine wife Joohyun." Your dad approves. Sheepishly, Joohyun smiles and pretends to be interested in the food on her plate.

"Omo! It's 2o'clock already! You two should be on your way!" Joohyun's mother gasps.

"Stay for the night!" Your fathers plead.

"Joohyun has a schedule later on tonight and I want to accompany her back to Seoul." You respond.

"You'd make a fine husband Saeryun." Joohyun's dad comments. Embarrassingly, you choke on the food you were swallowing and turn bright red. Luckily for you, Joohyun thought you were turning red due to choking.

"Oppa, drink some water." She offers.

"OPPA?!" The two dads choke.

"Honey!" The mothers groan and offer water.

"It was a bet they made when they were little. Joohyun would have to call Saeryun, oppa, when he debuted." Joohyun's mother explains. "That's all, nothing else."

"Oh." The fathers sigh.

"We should get going then." You say, trying to change the subject.

You and Joohyun help pack up before saying your departing goodbyes.

"Joohyun-ah, I know your comeback is very soon so try to stay as... well as you can. Get as much sleep as you can and remember to take those vitamins if you're feeling tired!" Joohyun's mother advises.

"You're such a filial daughter, Joohyun. Your mother and I are so very proud of you. Remember that we'll always be there to support you, arasso?" Joohyun's father lovingly her hair.

"Nae." She shakily responds.

You turn to Joohyun and confirm with yourself that she's tearing up. At the sight of her dear parents crying she too cannot hold the tears in any longer. Her parents embrace her tightly knowing that they won't be seeing their beloved daughter for gosh knows how long.

"Saeryunnie, you really have lost a lot of weight. I know you're going to debut soon so try to get as much sleep as you can too and don't spend such long hours training. My precious son, if it gets too hard remember that you still have us to talk to." Your mother places her hand on your cheek.

You gaze into her red, teary eyes and see her bottom lip tremble.

"Umma." You mumble.

"She's right son. I know I've always taught and told you to be a man but if the going does get too tough, it's okay to show a little weakness. I'm so proud of you son, I knew you could do it. I'm kind of pissed that it took them this long to realise how much potential you have!" Your father mumbles.

"Thanks appa." You smile.

You pull your parents into you as you hug them closely. You take a deep breath to memorise the soapy scent of your mother and minty freshness of your father one last time.

"I love you so, so much." You softly say.

"We know son, we know." Your father replies.

"Okay, enough with the sadness! Get going you 2 before you miss your train and Joohyun gets scolded!" Joohyun's father orders with red, puffy eyes.

"Arasso, we'll be taking our leave then." You and Joohyun laugh.

The two of you walk out of the gates of your home and turn around one last time to wave your final goodbyes. You feel your bottom lip begin to tremble, a habit inherited from your mother, and try to widely grin so that the parents don't see through your facade. You hear Joohyun sniff and look at her face which is downcast. Even though she's staring at the ground you know she's crying. You grab her hand and lead her to the waiting taxi.

"To Mokpo Station please Ahjussi." You mutter.

You grab onto one of Joohyun's hands and use your other free hand to cover it. Gradually, she lifts her head up to look at you with her round, glassy, brown eyes.

"You shouldn't be crying on Christmas unless they're happy tears Joohyun-ah."

"Oppa, how can you be so calm on the outside when you're just as sad as I am on the inside?"

"Because I have you."

Joohyun's eyes widen and she smiles. She grasps your hand which is resting on top of yours and gently squeezes it.

"And I have you Saeryun oppa."

"Forever and always." You tenderly smile.

You will always have me no matter which path you decide to take, Joohyun-ah. You blush at your confidence to say such bold statements but you know deep down that you are only taking advantage of Joohyun's current distraught state to openly tell her your feelings.

"I'm so envious of the girl who will marry you oppa. She's going to be so lucky to have such an understanding and loyal man standing by her through every plight she goes through."

As much as you know that Joohyun means well, it still wounds you when she says things like this. One minute it feels like she also has some sort of feeling for you as a man but then she says things like right now which make you back up into the friendzone.

I always read and see things in movies or books about feeling your chest tighten and pain in your heart when unrequited love is experienced but right now... I can really feel the full impact of it all.

"Thanks." You tightly smile.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The two of you board the train back to Seoul and sit next to each other again. Joohyun fishes through her bag for her iPod again and offers you an earphone only to see you doing the same. You both smile at each other and blush.

"Great minds think alike." Joohyun laughs.

"Yeah but I'm still the greater mind."

"You wish oppa. Here." She offers you the earphone.

"Save your battery for tonight if you get bored at your schedule. What is it anyway?"

"We're guests on a Christmas special program and are going to perform." She takes your earphone.

"With other idols?"

"Yes, other male idols." She teases.

"Hmph. Well don't distract them with your clumsiness."

"I am not clumsy!"

"Coming from the girl who broke the porcelain fish on a SM MT special?" You retort.

This actually happened whilst Seohyun was trying to scare Tiffany since she's afraid of fish, haha!

"Oh! This is Jinwoon's song!" Joohyun slyly switches the subject.

Ironically it was 2AM's I Wonder If You Hurt Like Me despite your iPod being on shuffle. Usually you hated it when Joohyun brought up Jinwoon but this song was really something. Something you could relate to... except for the fact that you don't cry whenever you think of Joohyun. You close your eyes and listen to the song.

"As I think only of you all day
A single stream of tear flows on its own

Step by step, I see you
So even as I work, tears flow without me knowing

Even when I sing
Even when I walk the streets
I’m filled with thoughts of you

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you live all day in memories like me

There are many things to laugh about forcibly
Like a wind-up doll, like it’s my job, i laugh

Even when I watch TV
Even when I meet my friends
I’m filled with thoughts of you

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you live all day in memories like me

Because I smile every day
Because I show my smiles,
They think I am happy
But how can I smile, how can I smile without you
I smile and I smile but tears flow again"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oppa. Saeryun oppa. Oppa. Saeryunnie." An gentle voice calls out to you.

You stir as you sit and feel a numb sensation across your whole body. You open your eyes to see Joohyun cutely staring at you.

"We've arrived at Seoul." She informs you.

You look out the window and see the throng of people rushing to get off the platform and into the shadows and night life of Seoul. You stand up and stretch as Joohyun hands you your bag. The two of you walk out of the station and stand at the pedestrian crossing.

"Hmmm, 6pm? What shall we do?" You ask.

"... I'm hungry..." Joohyun mutters.

"Then let's eat. Let's eat ddukbokki! We haven't been to the ahjumma's stall in a loooooong time~" You grin.

You pull Joohyun to the nearest taxi but she stands rooted to the ground.

"What's wrong?" You frown.

"I'm not supposed to eat so much..."

Oh... she has a schedule later on.

"Who said you were eating to pile on a few kilos? Just eat till your vaguely full." You persuade but Joohyun stands her ground.

"Well if you don't tell anyone no-one's going to know, right?" You wink.

Joohyun's mouth tugs at the side and she smiles before leading you to the nearest vacant taxi.

On the way to the ddukbokki stand you both 'oooohhh' and 'awwww' at the Christmas lights and decorations around Seoul. The taxi driver chuckles at the two of you and joins in on your antics by pointing out other Christmassy things. When the two of you arrive at the ddukbokki stand, you tell Joohyun to go save a spot for you at the stand whilst you pay for the taxi fare.

"Thanks ahjussi! Merry Christmas!" You smile but are stopped by the man.

"Have a very Merry Christmas young man with your girlfriend! I can see you two lasting a life time." He marvels at.

You decide not to explain your relationship with Joohyun and just nod. Just let me have this one time, Joohyun. The taxi drives away and you look at the ddukbokki ahjumma.

"Oppa, here!" Joohyun cries from the ddukbokki stand.

"Ahjumma! Long time no see! You've aged beautifully." You flatter the woman.

"Oh you! Such a devious young man you still are. Last time I saw you two, you were calling him by his name not oppa! Has love finally blossomed for the two of you?!" The ddukbokki ahjumma laughs.

"Aniya! We're still close friends. Ahjumma you remember the 'oppa' bet right? We made it in front of you the first time we discovered your amazingly scrumptious ddukbokki!" Joohyun tests the woman's memory.

"Hmmm... ahhh yes! OH MY GOODNESS, MY CHILDREN!!!! DOES IT MEAN THT SAERYUNNIE IS DE-"

"SHOOOOOOOOSH! You can't tell people ddukbokki ahjumma! We shouldn't have even told you but we trust you!" You both whisper very loudly.

People walking by and standing next to you all stare at the three of you weirdly. Even though these people were going to see you on TV or read about you in the future, SM still didn't allow the exposure of trainees who were about to debut.

"I'm sorry! BUT CONGRATULATIONS SAERYUNNIE!!!!!!!! MY DDUKBOKKI IS ON THE HOUSE TODAY!!" She squeals.

"How about us ahjumma?" A boy asks.

"I wasn't talking to you now was I?" The woman snaps.

All eyes previously on you three quickly look away. You and Joohyun stand there and fill the ahjumma in on everything that's happened in the past year. You absent mindly look at the time and gasp.

"It's almost 7:30!"

"Nae?" Joohyun looks at you expectedly with the ddukbokki about to enter .

"Is there somewhere you need to be?" The ahjumma asks.

Yes, yes there is.

"I-I need to get something! I'm supposed to be there at 7:45!" You nervously laugh.

"Oh? We should get going then." Joohyun remarks.

You start to pull out your wallet but a metal ladle hits your hands.

"Hey!" You scowl.

"I told you, today is on the house." The woman growls.

"Okay, okay!" You surrender.

"Thank you so much ddukbokki ahjumma! We'll come visit you again as soon as possible! Have a Merry Christmas!" Joohyun beams.

"You too, you two!" She grins back. (haha, how cool is that?)

As the two of you turn to leave you hear a whistling noise and turn back. The ddukbokki ahjumma winks at you as she mouths "Good luck." Yeah, I'll be needing a lot of it.

You drag Joohyun along with you to the biggest park in the middle of Seoul. Dang it! There's so many people here already, I hope we manage to find a good spot!

"Why are you meeting up in a park?" Joohyun asks confused.

"Ermm because..." You trail off as you scan around the vicinity.

You spot an empty spot on the stone bridge above the luminescent lake with red and green candles floating on it. Candles filled with annual wishes of hopeful people. You dash to claim the empty spot and reach there just before another younger couple. They look at you exasperatingly and march off to another vacant spot.

"Got it. How nice is the view Joohyun?"

"................"

"Joohyun?" You turn to see her huffing and puffing.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just... let me catch my breath." She wheezes.

"10, 9, 8 ,7-"

It's about to begin, you smile. You hold Joohyun's hands and join in on the counting.

"6, 5, 4, 3-"

You look into Joohyun's eyes and see her staring back just as intently.

"2, 1!!!" Everyone in the park shouts.

BOOOM! BOOOOOM! BOOM!

The fireworks go off, one after the other and you rip your eyes away from Joohyun to look at the explosive display. Yet again the two of you 'aawww', 'ahhhh' and 'oohhh' at the different designs. The final firework for the night explodes into red and green letters reading Merry Christmas!.

You turn back to Joohyun and the two of you laugh.

"Merry Christmas Joohyun!"

"Merry Christmas to you too, Saeryunnie oppa!"

Carefully, you place your hands on the sides of her face and bend down to kiss her forehead. At that moment you hear another set of fireworks blasting in your chest. Ba-dump! Ba-dump! Ba-dump! Ba-dump!

It's now or never.

Lucky for you, the shadows of the night covered the bright red hue your face was turning but little did you know Joohyun was in the same situation.

"I almost forgot." You quickly change the subject.

You rummage through your bag and pull out the Tiffany & Co. signature jewellery box. Simultaneously, Joohyun had also pulled a wrapped up box out of her bag. You both sheepishly laugh.

"Great minds really do think alike." You chuckle.

"But I'm still the greater mind." Joohyun mocks.

You exchange your gifts to one another.

"Merry Christmas!" You both timidly shout again.

You open your present to find a black knitted woollen scarf. You run your fingers over the scarf and can't help but widely grin that gummy smile of yours.

"I... love it Joohyun-ah! Thank you so much! It's even in black!" You laugh nervously.

"How can I not know your favourite colour?"

You hear her suddenly gasp and laugh as her eyes widen at what's inside of the little blue box. You smile at her as you wrap the black scarf Joohyun knitted for you around your neck. She delicately picks up the sterling silver chained apple pendant with JS engraved on the back of the little red apple. Ba-dump! Ba-dump! Ba-dump!

"Do you like it?"

"... No." She replies bluntly.

"Oh, I-I can return it and get you something else?" You awkwardly try to take back the gift.

"I love it oppa! It's so beautiful!" She beams.

"Far out! You had me so scared for a second there Joohyun! DON'T DO THAT." You pout.

"Hahahahahaha, you're face was priceless oppa! You know I like anything to do with apples~" She giggles.

Seohyun actually does like apples alot! Apparently she always has something to do with apples in her bag...

Okay it's now or never. You'd taken the risk to give her the gift first Saeryun so if this doesn't work out... she has to keep it... right?

"Ummm..." You clear your throat.

Joohyun stares at you as she dangles the pendant from her right hand.

"Joo-Joohyun. We've been friends for a really long time."

"Nae."

"And I don't know if you feel the same way but over these past few years I've developed feelings for you."

"..."

"I know you're an idol and all so you can't date and I've tried, trust me I've tried so hard, to stop these feelings but the heart wants what the heart can't have right?" You stammer.

Ba-dump!

"..."

"And I've come to cherish everything there is that makes you Joohyun. From the way the corners of your eyes crinkle when you smile or laugh till the way your nose scrunches up when you frown. Every time your noonas tell me about the hard days you're facing or the gogumas you're craving, I want to be there to comfort you and share those moment with you." You justify.

"..."

"I love everything about you... but most of all, I love you. Wait maybe this is too much for you but I really, reaaally like you Joohyun-ah!" You huff and only then do you notice that not only have you held your breath the whole time but you haven't heard a single thing from Joohyun.

Anxiously, you look at her and find her bottom lip trembling as her eyes tear up.

"I'm sorry! Did I say too much?!" You fuss.

"No..."

"I'm sorry, I'll leave if you want."

"No." She croaks. Ba-dump! Ba-dump!

All of a sudden you're pulled into Joohyun's arms as you feel her them encircle you and pat your back.

Ba-dump!

"Joohyun?" Ba-dump!

"No, don't say sorry." Ba-dump!

"But you're crying." You awkwardly hover your arms around her. What do I do with them?!

"Remember what you said earlier? You shouldn't cry on Christmas unless they're tears of joy?" She reminds you.

"Yeah?..." Ba-dump! Ba-dump!

"And here you are saying you're the one with the greater mind!" She laughs.

Umm... what's she trying to say? That she's happy?... Wait- Ba-dump!

"Thank you for finally confessing. I- I... l-l-love you too Saeryunnie." She sniffs as she laughs.

"You do?!?!" You gape.

She lets go of you and faces you. Ba-dump!

"I'm not repeating myself."

"But- are you serious?! You've never shown me anything, any signs! Nada, nothing, zilch!"

"You can't even remember the promises you make with me! YOU were the one who told me to play push and pull or hard-to-get with the man I like. You even told me to 'send mixed signals to mess with him'!" She repeats to you the immature promises you made her make.

"Haha, I remember now... How silly they sound now..." You uncomfortably squirm.

"I said that too and you said that 'when it comes to Joohyun's heart, nothing is immature'."

"I get it, I get it. This was all my doing. So what is it you like about me? I told you what I like about you."

"Don't change the subject pabo oppa! Can you please put this on for me?"

You take the pendant and put it on for her. It rests stunningly just below her collarbone and shines against the light.

"You know, if you had rejected my confession I would have said that the JS stood for Joohyun Seo but really it stands for Joohyun and Saeryun. So will you be my girlfriend Joohyun?" You chuckle.

"Umm, give me a second."

She turns around, whips out her phone and then your phone starts to ring. You decide to leave it since Joohyun's answer is more important but it just keeps ringing. Annoyed, you look at the caller ID: Joohyun <3. You raise your eyebrows at her and she just stares back at you. Slowly, you bring your phone to your ear.

"Hello?"

"Saeryunnie, someone just confessed to me and ask me to be his girlfriend. As my best friend, what do you suggest? He isn't an idol but will be one in the near future..."

You laugh and remember the promise the two of you made.

"He sounds like a gutsy guy. You should say yes! I'd love to meet this lucky guy."

"He's truly amazing, you'd like him Saeryun... I know I do."

Beep, beep. You smile at Seohyun who smiles back.

"I just called my best friend and he said he was fine with it. So I'm going to say... yes." She laughs.

You laugh with her and pull her in for another tight hug.

"I really am one lucky guy."

You push her back and bend down to quickly peck her lips. Her eyes widen and she touches her lips. I'd always wondered what it felt like to kiss them, haha. Soft and sweet just like Joohyun.

"Omo~ look at the time! It's 8:00, we better get you back to your dorm." You smirk at her.

You flag down a taxi and arrive at her dorm at 8:15. You pay the taxi fare and guide her to her dorm. The whole time Joohyun is still in a daze from the peck. If she reacts this way from a peck, how is she going to deal with a kiss?!

You go into the elevator with Joohyun and bend down to look at her.

"If you don't say something, I'm going to kiss you." You tease. Her eyes widen and she turns a very obvious shade of red.

The two of you enter the SNSD dorm to be overwhelmed by the other 8 girls.

"Soooooooooooo, how was it?!"

"What'd you two love birds get up to???"

"What was the good news??"

"I NEED TO GET READY FOR THE SCHEDULE!" Joohyun shouts before taking off, leaving you to the wolves.

The 8 girls turn to you, ready to grill you but luckily their manager comes bursting in.

"WHY IS NO-ONE ANSWERING THEIR PHONES?! I HAVE NO-ONE TO DRIVE THE OTHER VAN!!!! GRRRRRRRR, WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE STUCK WITH SOLVING THESE PROBLEMS?!?" The man vents.

Driving a van?

"I can drive the other van! I've driven before and despite the fact that you left before I did, I still got the girls to the destination before you. That makes me a pretty secure candidate." You grin.

"He's right oppa!~ He's done it before so he can do it again!" They chorus.

"... Fine but just this once." He gives in.

"Yay!~~~" They all squeal.

----------------------------

At 9o'clock, all the girls are in the vans and ready to take off. You're driving the black van with Hyoyeon, Taeyeon, Tiffany, Yuri and Sooyoung whilst the manager is taking the white van with Jessica, Sunny, Yoona and unfortunately Joohyun.

As soon as the doors are all shut, the girls shoot questions at you and interrogate today's happenings.

"SO WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS?!?!?!?!?!" They all shout.

You follow the manager as he doesn't want to separate the girls in the Christmas traffic.

"Ummm, I'm going to debut early 2013."

"OMG!!!!!! JINJJA?!?!?!!?!??!!?!?!??!! THAT'S AWESOME! CONGRATS!!! WELL DONE!!!!!!! WE'RE SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!" The girls all scream.

"Noonas! I'll crash if you keep screeching!"

"YAH KIM SAERYUN! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO DEBUT, DON'T GET COCKY!" Hyoyeon playfully barks and all the girls laugh.

"Andddddd? There's GOT to be something else! Why else would our maknae be so dazed?!?!?" Tiffany pushes.

"Well... I confessed..."

"YOU- WHAT?!?!?!!?!" Taeyeon screams.

"HOW'D IT GO?!" Sooyoung repeats again and again.

Luckily you could multi-task or else you would have swerved off the road from their ruckus.

"It went... okay."

"Okay. OKAY. OKAY?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OKAY'?!?!?!?!" Yuri hollers.

"She... we're dating." You sheepishly laugh.

"..."

3 seconds later.

"OMGOGMOGMGOGMGOGOMGOMGOGMOGMG!!! CONGRATS! CONGRATS! CONGRATS! FINALLY!!!! WOOOPPPPPPPP WOOOOOOPPPPP!!!!!!! ABOUT TIME!!!!" All 5 girls continuously scream one after the other.

"NOONAS! DON'T YOU HAVE TO PERFORM LATER ON?! SO SHOULDN'T YOU KEEP YOUR VOICES TO A MINIMUM?!?!?!" You bellow over them.

"... crap." Taeyeon says.

"OMG! THAT'S SO AWESOME! DID SHE CRY?! HOW DID SHE REACT?!" Sooyoung whispers really loudly.

"HAVE YOU KISSED?!" Yuri asks.

"We're taking it slow... well that's what I think. She didn't really say anything about the pace."

"HAVE YOU KISSED OR NOT??!?!!?" Tiffany and Hyoyeon repeat.

"Oh, would you look at that?? We've arrived already!" You quickly dodge.

You hurriedly unbuckle your seatbelt and run out of the car so they can't question you any further. Their manager gets out of the car and hastens them to enter the elevator to the studio. In the elevator, Sunny, Yoona and Jessica crowd around you and constantly cough, nudge and waggle their eyebrows at you.

"Are you girls feeling unwell? This isn't good... you have a performance soon!" The manager frantically asks.

"Oh, they're fine!" Joohyun sarcastically says as she strongly pats, more like hits, them each on the back.

As you emerge from the elevator, the girls continue to giggle and push Joohyun next to you. The two of you awkwardly smile at each other before looking down to admire the white tiles on the ground.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stare absorbedly at the TV in SNSD's dressing room as the girls feature on the Christmas special. The host starts talking about spending Christmas with loved ones and doing special things.

"Do you have someone you like Seohyun?" The male host suddenly asks Joohyun.

She hesitates before shyly nodding. All the SNSD members' eyes widen and fidget uncomfortably in their seats not knowing how to help out the maknae. The other idols and audience on the show gasp and begin to whisper. Next to you, the manager has dropped his spoon and halted eating as you both gape at the screen and gulp loudly.

"Who?" The host questions.

Okay, maybe it was just me who wanted to take things slowly-

Ba-dump!

You could practically hear and feel your heart pulsate.

Ba-dump!

"The UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon." She cheekily grins.

A collective sigh of relief can be seen by SNSD and their manager and you see the host, audience and other idols laugh.

"Ahhh, thanks for that Seohyun-ah, haha. Now So Nyuh Shi Dae will perform their exclusive new single for us called I Got A Boy!" The host announces.